Wedding Blog
I loved everything about the wedding band, but was hoping for a simpler engagement ring — one that still mimicked the gentle curve of the Optima prong, and had the same caret-like design under the center diamond. After considering our options, Mr. Bruschetta and I asked for more information about using CAD (computer-aided design) to create a version of the Optima engagement setting without side diamonds.
Since I had heard success stories from other brides-to-be who had custom-made rings, I was confident (initially) that it would work out for us, as well.
Unfortunately, the process did not go smoothly. Between visits to the store to consult on the design, we were often kept waiting four to six weeks. And, each time Mr. Bruschetta and I came in, the wax model never looked any different, and most closely resembled a cheap-o toy ring you could get out of a 25-cent machine.
The jeweler continued spinning his web of lies, telling us the chunky design would become considerably more delicate once it was cast in platinum. Foolishly, we believed him — and unsurprisingly, were greatly disappointed with another boring, thick circle, this time in dull, scratched, grey metal.
During what should have been an exciting, memorable time — designing an engagement ring together — Mr. Bruschetta and I argued frequently, worrying about the jeweler’s poor communication and apparent confusion with our vision.
Several stressful months later, we opted to stop the CAD process, and — for a short while — severed our relationship with the jewelry store (which, for obvious reasons, shall remain nameless). We discussed springing for the Optima set, but it was far above the amount we had budgeted for a bridal set — and really wasn’t what I had envisioned all along.
After a brief hiatus from any engagement talk whatsoever, we (amazingly) returned to the offending jewelry store, opting to work exclusively with the salesman who introduced us to Hearts on Fire — who had treated us with respect from the first day we met him, and was distressed by the troubles we’d had with the store jeweler.
With one goal in mind — finding a simple solitaire so we could get engaged some time soon! — I acted hastily, selecting a cathedral solitaire in platinum. I wish I hadn’t brushed off suggestions to pick a simple white gold setting to temporarily hold the diamond. I blame the stress and hassle of the CAD process: I managed to convince myself that I liked (nay, loved) the cathedral solitaire far more than I actually did. When Mr. Bruschetta proposed in November 2007, it was with this setting. And at the time, I was ecstatic to be engaged to Mr. Bruschetta, and couldn’t stop staring adoringly at the Dream diamond. But, our engagement ring saga didn’t end after it was safely on my finger…
Did you have issues custom designing your engagement ring?
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My FI did the entire process himself from picking out the store, the diamond and the setting. I had told him things I liked such a wider band for my thicker fingers, but he did it all. To my knowledge there was no drama, but I am envious of the brides who were part of the process. I guess that’s what the band will be for me 
We didn’t custom design my ring, but I’ll admit that it took me a long time to really love it… and now I really love it. I think that — for me, at least — being involved in decision-making means that I hem and haw and debate the details endlessly, even after the decision is made. I’ve realized now that it would have been better — for me — to have not been involved and been surprised by his choice. There would have been much less hand-wringing (and to be honest, bickering) that way.
I think he would have preferred that as well.
My fiance did it all himself. We looked at rings together, so he knew what caught my eye, and he also knew my ring size. I told him I wanted something “vintage and modern” and the jeweler remembers my fiance still because of the strange request. Together, they designed a beautiful ring for me and I love it.
Ours was a simpler process, but still a process of searching. I would have preferred, like Cheese, to not be in the process (mainly because I’d rather have someone else make the decision and get it over with)! I’m sitting on the edge of my seat to hear the rest of your story!
I was completely uninvolved in the ring selection. I had done the standard hinting in regards to being a white gold person (the general toss outs we all give to serious boyrfriends who may buy us some form of jewelry), but the first time I saw it was when he got down on one knee. I loved being surprised and know I would have been obsessive if I had a hand in it. You are brave! I love your posts!
Our jeweler was a dream to work with- Mr. Taffy gave them a sketch and they had a wax model about 5 days later, then the ring a few days after that! We really lucked out, but our luck is evening out with the wedding band…
I’m so sorry you had a bad experience. We had both my e-ring and our wedding rings custom-designed, and not only was it a lot of fun, we are so happy with them. Yes, you do have to get used to working with the wax - which is made of colored wax. And by the way, it always will be chunkier than the final product - also true for the initial casting -because the casting is eventually polished down. (And yes - platinum isn’t white - it’s grey.)
We did have to take my wedding ring back for a little rework - because it initially turned out thinner than we liked. Our jeweler was really nice about it - and although we did have to kick in a little more money for the extra gold, he didn’t charge us for the re-casting.
I’m a little unclear on the CAD part. I do understand CAD - I’m an engineer, and we use it at work all the time - but if you have a good custom jeweler I’m not sure why you would need to mess with something like that. We just brought in a few photos, and told our jeweler how we wanted our rings to be similar to/different from those photos. He made the waxes, then the castings, and once we were happy with those he set the diamonds. The whole process took about three months for all three rings (first the e-ring, then the wedding bands), so you do have to be patient, but we are really happy with them.
Like Taffy, we had a great experience. One of Mr. Q’s childhood friends is a jeweler with his own intimate shop & we worked with him to design the perfect engagement and wedding band for us. I couldn’t be happier!
Sorry to hear about your trials and tribulations…ugh!
I have to say I’m a little envious of the ladies who were so involved…but in the end, I’m glad that I was completely surprised (Mr S proposed months before I ever even dreamed he would!). I’d shared with him a few different ideas of what I might like, and along with one of my girlfriends, he picked out the ring.
Do I wish I had the vintage-y ring that I’d kind of sort of wanted? On some says. But I love my simple, classic round solitare and just think about how excited and nervous Mr S was when he proposed! I still get butterflies
We didn’t custom design my ring, but I did want to give my FI some ideas to work with as he is a last minute shopper and a purchaser of awful gifts (think green polyester bath robes that make you sweat because they don’t absorb any moisture). So my MOH and I went to the jeweler’s and got some ideas. I gave him a general idea of what I liked, and he went from there. My taste was very simple though, I think with a more intricate design in mind, we would have gone custom.
Sorry to hear about your ring experience! Way to go, salesman, way to suck all the funny out of the room!
My FI had me pick the ring out so he couldn’t “screw it up” but we still had an entire mini-saga in trying to acquire it once I had picked it! And of course, once I had told him I wanted it, he would stop at nothing to get it for me!
My FH proposed with a diamond in a temporary setting, and we went together to design the permanent setting. I loved this, because he thought he had a good idea of what I wanted, but wanted to make sure it was everything I hoped for! We both had our input - he chose the stone, I chose the setting.
We started this way, and like you had our share of problems. We went weeks and weeks in between contacts with the jeweler and generally were disappointed with the results. I’m sure part of it was our inability to accurately explain what we wanted, but they weren’t exactly accommodating either…
As I might have mentioned in one of your earlier posts, our own saga dragged on for several months… and we’re still in the midst of the wedding ring saga. Luckily, our jeweler is extremely personable and helpful (not the first place), and has done a lot to make our experience pleasant!
that process sounds stressful. Can’t wait to see the end result, though!
Mine wasn’t custom made, but oh my gosh I wish I wasn’t sooooo involved and picky. I must have looked at 2,000 rings. My poor guy was beside himself trying to pick one of the thousands he saw that he thought I would love the most.
In hindsight, I feel awful for putting him through that!
I think the engagement ring you described (three stones on either side of the center stone) is MY RING!! And I’ve been looking for it’s match, and you may have found it for me. So sad that it’s discontinued! Can’t wait to hear what you eventually wound up with!
Wow, I can relate without acting too quickly. I have to admit that once I got my ring I was excited to be engaged but wasn’t necessarily in love with my ring.
@suzanno: I had the same experience, and was forewarned the wax and the CAD would always look chunkier. Although, we did have a CAD done because we were mixing two rings to make one.
Miss B: maybe if you had been warned before that it can take time (my new e-ring took a few months to make from pic submitting to CAD to wax to final product) and that the wax is always chunkier, you may not have been so unhappy? Or you could have gone a different way? Either way, sorry you had such an unpleasant experience!
Wow. Sorry it was so stressful - I can only imagine.
I told my FI I wanted nothing to do with picking the ring and he should find one suited for me and I love it!
My ring is store bought and I had no say in it, since I didn’t know about the proposal. I love it though and I wouldn’t change it for anything. I think designing one would be fun, but I would probably have the worst time making a decision.
Oh, I can totally relate and am going thru the SAME thing. Fi and I went to our jeweler to have my band designed. I really wanted to stay out of the process, but he was so afraid he’s explain it wrong that we went together. We ended up deciding to do a bit of alteration to my e-ring to make it fit with the band I had in my mind. They also sent it off for the CAD process, but I never saw any wax templates or heard anything. Weeks and weeks later, they both arrived. The top sides were gorgeous, but the bottom was a mess….so thick and wide I couldn’t close my fist! Certainly not the feminine pieces I planned on wearing for the rest of my life. There are also scratches and inconsistencies in the polishing that make parts of it looks cloudy…like you have lotion on your ring. I now have to go back again to the jeweler and see what they can do. They assure me it can be thinned and made more narrow, but WHAT AN ORDEAL. I was thrilled to have a custom set, but now, after all the stress and tears and time, find myself wishing I just went with another set.
Of course, if…no, when…it finally comes back perfect, I’m sure I’ll change my tune.
@Mrs. Kiwi: We had been given a much speedier timeline, and had no warnings about the chunky issue with the wax design. Eventually, we realized the problem went all the back to miscommunication about the design we were envisioning, and since we weren’t all on the same page from the start, it was hard to get there after struggling for several months!
My fiance proposed with his Great -Great grandmother’s ring but wanted me to pick out my ring. <3
Well, I love love love the color aqua. And my fiance’s birthstone happened to be a blue topaz, we found a fantastic setting and decided to get the blue topaz and ended up saving a lot of $$. Well the jeweler said they could not carry blue topaz stones (seriously?) but that we could buy a set of earrings for $80 and pull one out to set in the ring. “Fine” was pretty much my annoyed response. Everything was great until about a month later my friend noted that my ring color looked lighter, I pulled up a picture and saw that my ring was lighter, almost than an aqua-marine!! Distressed I went back with my second earring from the set and my ring. They happily changed out the gem and said they would order another stone that MIGHT look like the old one to replace the stone for the “earrring”. So confused, I said again “Fine”. Again a month later the ring had faded drastically and there was a small chip in it from them setting the stone. Pissed I brought my FMIL ‘the pistol’ in to help “negotiate” In the end I got a light blue natural saphire that we had them speical order and I am just a little happier now, but will never take my business there again.
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Mrs. Bruschetta, Philadelphia
Age and Occupation: 25, Communication Professional
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Physical Therapy Graduate Student
Engagement Date: November 30, 2007
Wedding Date: August 2009
Venue: St. Thomas of Villanova Church & the F.U.E.L. House
About Me: I’m a self-proclaimed grammar geek who loves singing (like, really belting it) in the car. My mister and I are planning a vibrant summer soiree celebrating our passions – including food and Philly – and when we make it official, we’ll have been together for eight years! Being super competitive is in my nature, and talking excessively is in my genes. I’ve got a terrible sense of direction, but can always easily find my way into Mr. Bruschetta’s arms.
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