Weddingbee Blog

In 4 months time, Mr. Joey and I will be getting hitched. To mark the time, I thought I’d share with everyone one of my “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue” things once a month until the big day. I’m so excited to share my something borrowed. I just confirmed I’d be borrowing this “something” about 20 minutes ago, and couldn’t wait to share.

A little background info first. My favorite Aunt on my Dad’s side, and possibly in the world, lives in London. Actually, she’s my Dad’s cousin, but to me, she’s my Aunt Marie. I met my Aunt Marie for the first time when I was 18 years old. I was on my way to Italy, and my Dad suggested I meet my Aunt. I was a little nervous to be staying with an Aunt and family I’d never met, but I shouldn’t have been. They were awesome. My Uncle Basil is SOO nice, and my cousins James and Juliette were about my age and really fun. My Aunt was everything my Dad said she would be, and more. Since then, whenever I travel, I try to schedule my layover in London because I want to see them even if it’s only for a day.

When Mr. Joey and I got engaged, one of the first people on my list to call was my Aunt Marie and her family. I asked my Dad for her address and he told me he knew they wouldn’t be able to come. I was heartbroken. Then he told me why they couldn’t come, and not only was I heartbroken, but I was crushed.

In the early ’80s my aunt had an operation, and of course needed blood. Unfortunately, her procedure was done at time before anyone really tested blood in the UK, and a few years later they found out she had received Hepatitis from tainted blood. She’s been living with this for over 20 years. There are good years, and there are bad ones, and it looks like this isn’t the best year. My Aunt can’t come to the wedding because she starts her 4th or 10th (I can’t keep track) round of treatments for her liver. It’s crushing news on every level.

Today my Dad spoke to my Aunt and she said that she was about 90% sure my Uncle Basil and cousin Juliette could come to the wedding. I was really excited about this, but was a little worried she wouldn’t have the support in London she needed. They all assure me they can manage things for a week, and it’s won’t be a burden.

OK, what was the point of this post? Right, something borrowed. So a few weeks ago, I was looking into how to incorporate our cultures into the wedding. The Filipino stuff is easy. I know the traditions and have figured out how to incorporate them into the ceremony. FMIL Joey is trying to come up with ideas for their traditions. Now, there’s just Sri-Lankan stuff. This is where I got stuck. While I am half Sri-Lankan, I was raised like I was completely Filipino. I learned Tagalog as a kid, eat and cook Filipino food, and would describe my upbringing as Filipino. My Dad had no family when he moved to the US and married. His family didn’t move to the U.S. until I was about 10. By then, I was set in my ways. I’ve never been to Sri-Lankan wedding. My aunts all got married in Sri-Lanka. What kind tradition could I come up with?

I got my Sri-Lankan tradition for the most unlikely place: the Seattle Weddingbee meet-up. I hadn’t been to a Sri-Lankan wedding, but other ladies there had. They described the weddings, and I went home a Googled some of their ideas. I shared my findings with my Mom, and we came up with the going away outfit. So basically, the going away outfit (also done in the UK) is a formal Sari that the bride puts on right before leaving the wedding (so I’m told). It signifies that the bride is no longer an unmarried woman. Traditionally, the sari is given to the bride by her groom, but this won’t happen in our case. The sari will be my “something borrowed”.

I called my Aunt this morning to say hi and to tell her how sad I was she couldn’t come, but how happy I was that my cousin and Uncle could make it. We chatted, she joked, and then I asked her if in England they had the “something borrowed” tradition. She said yes, and I asked her if I could borrow a sari. I told her I know this wasn’t exactly traditional, but if I was going to borrow something, I wanted it to be special. For the first time in our relationship, she was speechless. She said yes, and said she knew exactly which sari she would be sending. I won’t see the sari until a few days before the wedding. I don’t care that I don’t know what color it will be or how I’m going to put it on. I just care that it’s hers.

Did your something borrow represent something emotional? Was it the item that evoked the emotion, or the relationship you have with its owner?