Details, Smitails. Less is More.

As I mentioned before, we have been planning this wedding for over 16 months!!

And I have to say that almost every day, I see at least one wedding detail that I think is so fantastic that I must have it. Yet, I decided long ago that while I love details, I would limit what I would do. Maybe this goes against the grain of the fabulous legacy of detailed Weddingbee weddings, but for me, editing details out of our day is keeping me sane, and I think it allows me to practice the ‘less is more’, eco-chic mentality that I strive for.

With less than 50 days before the wedding, I am pretty low key about the thing. I was even able to get our wedding invitations out the door with the motto, ‘slow and steady wins the race’. Granted, I skipped a lot of invite details, like a beautiful pocketfold, the lovely ribbon tie, hand embossing each envelope (twice in some cases), a handmade map, an ever-so-crafty ‘note’ card, etc. You get my point.

While each of these details makes me swoon, I had a friend tell me last week that I was one of the most laid back brides he’d ever seen. While he doesn’t get to see the mess I’ve made of our apartment, it felt great knowing that I’ve kept some sense of self throughout this whole thing.

That said, here are some swoon-worthy details that I have just said no to:

Personalized Napkins. I love personalized napkins and I did notice what a nice touch they were at a few of the weddings I went to this summer.


For only about $30 bucks for 100, they aren’t that expensive. BUT I made the mistake of looking into personalized napkins right before I met with my financial adviser. She quickly pointed out that saving just a little bit helps. So I am saving my $30 for a rainy day. I hope no one is disappointed by the ivory napkins that the hotel provides.



I saw this DIY last week and thought it would be perfect, especially since I love collecting matchbooks myself.


This project was quickly moved from the ‘VERY cool’ pile to the ‘cool, but still not going to do it’ pile. It’s all about editing the little details.

Fabulous cupcake plates:


And of course, Mrs. Gummi Bear’s totally swoon-worthy cakes:


What would I do with 10 cake platters at the end of the day? I barely have enough room in my kitchen for one. Not to mention, this would be an expensive detail.

Shawls for the ladies:


It’s most likely going to be chilly, so I’d love to be able to keep all the ladies warm by providing wraps for everyone. But I have to remember that they are grown adults, and they can remember to dress properly for the occasion. It was another ‘extra’ thing struck off the list.

Cookie favors:


I love the idea of baking cookies the week before the wedding and wrapping them with love. But I said no to this detail because I don’t even own cookie sheets. I swear we are registered for them, but I can’t whip out cookies until after the big day.

Anyone else very carefully picking and choosing the details of their big day?


Mrs. Peep Toe

San Francisco
Wedding Date:
May 2015
On Apologizing
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  1. beagle Member
    beagle 1381 posts, Bumble bee @ 6:13 pm

    I agree. I think there’s a point where you just have to say “enough is enough” and wrap up the details you already have planned. Because of course if you don’t, you’ll end up being a stressed out mess on the months/days leading up to the day. It’s just so hard when there is so much inspiration out there.

  2. Member
    MightySapphire 7632 posts, Bumble Beekeeper @ 6:25 pm

    I’m not there yet…I think if I was smart I’d leave all these little projects to the last minute and then I could scrap what I couldn’t do. But I’m still determined to have littel flourishes here and there to spite my tiny budget!

  3. joey Member
    joey 1078 posts, Bumble bee @ 6:25 pm

    I’m going to need to book mark this post and read it over and over again. I’m at the point in planning where I have time to convince myself that extra details are totally doable. But I really shouldn’t be taking on any extra details.

  4. Member
    Bridelation 17 posts, Newbee @ 6:29 pm

    I agree! It’s so hard to not to follow through with so much inspiration our there!!!

  5. Member
    phruphru 184 posts, Blushing bee @ 6:33 pm

    I like you, Miss Peep! I feel like there are so many little projects out there that only serve the purpose of being… little projects. There was a Bee awhile back who had gorgeous beaded thingies on her placecards. They were flat marbles, actually. They looked beautiful, but what does a guest do with them when they’re done? Same thing goes for surplus signage. Do I need a sign telling people that cards should go in the cardbox or the pen next to the guestbook should be used as a writing instrument?

    I will say, though, that I was definitely temporarily sucked in by monogrammed cocktail napkins. I’m also getting sucked in by photoshare cards (the ones where you print free business cards on VistaPrint and tell guests how to upload photos). If I go with VP, I’ll get 250 cards. I’ll only have 160ish guests. What the heck do I do with 90 extra biz cards? The trash, I guess. Trying to resist… Trying so hard.

  6. Member
    bluegreenjean 1405 posts, Bumble bee @ 7:14 pm

    I think you just became my new favorite Bee!! I’m to the point where if a project doesn’t fit into a fun afternoon or evening with the fiance, it gets scrapped.

    Ahh… sanity!!

  7. Member
    kurlynut 166 posts, Blushing bee @ 8:01 pm

    I have to say that I didn’t care about details until I came across wedding bee itself. All I see and read are details, details, details.I have to remind myself of the budget and know that my wedding will be just lovely even without these small details. This has been difficult but have been able to get through it. Ask me again a few months before the wedding.

  8. dewdrop Member
    dewdrop 381 posts, Helper bee @ 9:33 pm

    I really like this post. It’s so easy to get caught up in details and projects…and so hard to remember that it’s better to only have a few projects and still stay sane. Thanks for the reminder! :)

  9. Member
    agrosses 98 posts, Worker bee @ 11:31 pm

    I agree with your post; however, shawls for the ladies (especially if you go with neutral bridesmaid dresses) can be an inexpensive and re-usable (for the girls) gift to your bridal party. My favorite bridesmaid gift ever….

  10. Guest Icon Guest
    vanessa, Guest @ 11:46 pm

    There are a lot of little and big things that I wont miss and I highly doubt my guests will notice. There will be no favors, garter toss, bouquet toss, cocktail hour with appetizers, ceremony decor (the outside will do fine), a videographer, day of hotel room, and limos. Were having a very budget wedding. But, the less we spend on somethings the more people we can invite. I honestly just want to have one great party where we happen to get married.

  11. Member
    leenmachine 262 posts, Helper bee @ 8:11 am

    I know what you mean and I agree! I’ve axed a few details because I wonder if it’s really worth it!

  12. Member
    JennyBryde 1168 posts, Bumble bee @ 8:38 am

    I love this list! I think the delicate dance that we call a wedding happens well when someone is able to prioritize what they want and able to totally let go of what they don’t regardless of tradition or suggestion. I have a list just like this growing in my brain! Great post!

  13. Member
    NixLapi 558 posts, Busy bee @ 8:58 am

    I’m editing – and boy is it hard! There are just so many fun things to do and try – but budget prevails (as does a downpayment on a house – which will be worth many more memories than a minute detail on the wedding day will create)!

  14. Member
    amysue 1492 posts, Bumble bee @ 9:40 am

    Oh, I hear you. My biggest wedding fight with my mom was over personalized napkins. We would’ve needed 1500 of them and I just refused to allocate our budget towards it (even though they’re paying). Because of my resistance, we were able to put all of that money toward hiring a much needed DoC.

    That being said, if we’d had plenty of money to spend (and perhaps more importantly, more time), I think personalized napkins (and all of the above!) would be fantastic little touches. But like you, it’s just not gonna happen for us!

  15. peeptoe Member
    peeptoe 1804 posts, Buzzing bee @ 12:23 pm

    @agrosses: Oh, I guess I should have said- I already got shawls for the bridesmaids.

  16. Guest Icon Guest
    nowmrswhite, Guest @ 2:20 pm

    amen, sister!

  17. Guest Icon Guest
    caribqueen, Guest @ 3:01 pm

    Word, Miss Peep Toe! I love Wedding Bee and lots of the other bridal blogs because of the details, but I just won’t be able to incorporate many of them into our wedding. Some of them require DIY craftiness and time, both of which I do not have much. Also there’s got to be a line in the sand somewhere as to what is really being done for you and what will really enhance your guests’ (and your) experience at the wedding.

  18. Guest Icon Guest
    D0gsSayBaRK, Guest @ 8:10 pm

    I can understand not wanting to waste money over small details, but if you reeeaaally want some cake stands, why not use terracotta pots? I saw this one Once Wed not too long ago, just paint the pots and saucers and stack. After the wedding, they can be used for their general purpose: plants. A nice, cost efficient way to still get those cake stands you may have been wanting. :)

  19. labrador Member
    labrador 1823 posts, Buzzing bee @ 1:27 am

    This post has really put perspective on my own wedding details. I tend to go overboard when I’m sitting in front of a google search bar and have wedding on the mind. Thanks for posting this to keep my head in the “budget” game!

  20. Guest Icon Guest
    Annalisa, Guest @ 10:33 am

    Great post! I also got caught up in details but, remembered not only is it time and money, for us it is practicalities. We are getting married outside, 2500 miles away from our home, in a small town. Anything I want to set up, I need to budget time, space, and remember I need to break it down as well.

    I also think that very few guests notice all of the small details that we obsess over. I can’t tell you the last 3 wedding details aside from people who attended, music, food, and drink. With that, we have really been striving to make our wedding into a really fun, relaxed, party weekend.

  21. Guest Icon Guest
    Julie, Guest @ 11:19 am

    So true so true!! everytime i find a detail i like so much i think to myself “would i have noticed this at a wedding i have been to recently” then if its not something everyone will notice or remember for that matter….i scrap it…no matter how cute it may be!!

  22. Member
    West Coast Bride 708 posts, Busy bee @ 11:56 am

    I’m a big fan of this post! It seems like the last 60 days before the wedding is 100% details, and while I thought that would be the “fun part” it really isn’t any more or less fun–it’s just different from the early days of reviewing contracts and negotiating prices. And in those early days, I had to let certain things go, and accept what we could afford, what was important to us, etc. So, I’m approaching the details the same way. What do I really want to do? What will have an impact that I really care about? What is just plain old wedding fever that I don’t need? I think you Peeps have a pretty clear idea of your “big picture” which helps put all these little details in perspective.

  23. Guest Icon Guest
    Bass Lover, Guest @ 7:51 pm

    So happy to hear you decided against these items. I worked for a great catering company over the years, and I can’t tell you how many napkins, matchbooks, etc. were wasted. I always felt bad for the Brides, knowing that they put their hearts into those items!

    I’m very lucky…we are running off to elope! That decision has cut down a huge amount of “must haves” for the wedding.

    Thank you for your post, and reminding us all what is most important-getting married to the one you love!

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