Mr. Meatball: A Ring With Balls

*I asked Mr. M to write a post about his ring, since it’s such a personal selection for him, so please give my main man a warm welcome! (cue applause)*

Hello wedding blog world! This is my first time writing, so I think I should let you know a little about myself: I am a man’s man, the manliest of many, and manlier than most men. I drink beer, can bench twice my weight, and like things that make lots of noise when they’re breaking other things.

Hmm”¦ well maybe I’m exaggerating a bit. I do like beer as long as it’s light enough to still be refreshing if I splash it on my face while jogging, I could bench twice my weight if I weighed 25lbs, and while I don’t have a need to break things, stemware of any sort only has a 50-50 chance of survival when washed by my hands.

So, maybe I’m not the most testosterone-y of men, but when it came to the idea of wearing a ring, I have to admit, I got a little freaked out. Sure, I’m down with the concept of the wedding ring 110%. “Check the ring ladies. This conversation has been a delight, but this fella is taken, sold, off the market… I am married”¦ to my wife.” But I have always had a weird thing about jewelry. I think Miss Meatball is her most beautiful without any jewelry (except her engagement ring, that’s crazy sexy!) and I feel weird about wearing jewelry, since I’ve never worn any – not even a watch! My dad, while he loves my mother dearly, never wore a ring either, so there is no childhood precedent for me.

I had two options: to either not wear a ring, or somehow find one I liked. I’m pretty sure the former option would have resulted in Miss Meatball pulling out a Bosu Exercise Ball and performing a deathly attack while simultaneously working her core muscles. With this thought, I decided I’d better find a ring I liked.

But what to do?

I looked at countless rings; one more boring than the next. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying all men’s rings are lame. I’m just the kind of guy who walks in to the DSW and curses the 30 aisles of women’s shoes, while huddled in his men’s corner to choose between brown or black, laces or loafers. I don’t need to make a statement; I just have particular tastes and like my style to be a touch outside of the box.

I wanted something that felt symbolic. Something forged from a love that has been tested by many trials, but has remained, and will continue to remain strong, inspiring, and proud. I wanted a ring that could stand the test of time. The idea of the old West kept popping into my head.

More specifically, two images:

1) An old railroad track, created from the pounding of hammers, stampeded upon by train cars, and worn by time, but still standing strong, leading to wherever your destination may be.

2) A notched gun. The tale goes that many outlaws etc. used to notch their gun for every kill they made. Now don’t get it twisted. In general, I’m not a fan of guns. I’ve shot them, but anything that could kill another person with just a subtle twitch makes me nervous (remember my issue with stemware), and there ain’t nothing romantic about murder. But in the old West, a gun was often a man’s most prized possession, his only form of protection in a lawless world. The image of notches representing trials in which this object of protection served its purpose is an aesthetic that spoke to me. For anyone who is concerned by the whole gun analogy, I make this vow to you: I promise not to shoot anyone with my ring.

I didn’t know if it existed, but I finally knew what I wanted. I looked and looked, but found nothing like it. I then tried to find someone who might be able to design it with me, but I still had no success. No one shared my aesthetic, or my price range. As I was trolling Etsy like a ringless wanderer, I came across Contraptions Studio. A shot of light beamed down from the sky upon the computer, and Paco (our dog) started making angelic choir noises (which is totally weird ”˜cause normally he just writes his thoughts down in a journal). “THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I’M LOOKING FOR!” I declared. Paco cocked his head, and seemed to pant in approval. Together, we marveled over the discovery of what is without a doubt the coolest guy’s ring I have ever seen. Get this: it’s called “Battle Scar”. Totally manly, totally cool, and it’s totally a ring that I could bench press my own weight with (well, a guy can dream). Check it:

Pretty bad ass, huh?

Not only do I think that Contraptions has a ton of cool jewelry, but it is incredibly affordable (which makes a broke-ass groom very happy). Shane, the designer, makes all of his jewelry custom order, so each piece is unique. He sent me photos of the initial ring, and after a few groomzilla notes, he took them and came back with a ring that was modified exactly as I had hoped. Wow! A great price, incredible customer service, and EXACTLY what I wanted. Can it get any better? Yeah it can. It will become the symbol of my love and bond to Miss Meatball. Yeah, this ring has super powers for sure.

What super powers does/will your ring have?


Mrs. Meatball

Wedding Date:
May 2014
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  1. Member
    powderpuff 882 posts, Busy bee @ 9:22 am

    Whoopsey! The above comment is from yours truly.

  2. Member
    Bunny83 123 posts, Blushing bee @ 10:02 am

    I love the ring Mr. Meatball!!

  3. Guest Icon Guest
    Jo, Guest @ 11:06 am

    “I promise not to shoot anyone with my ring.” What a goofball.

    (Note: saying “What a goofball” does not accurately describe the number of times I laughed while reading this post. I wish everyone could blog with that sort of humor. Very refreshing, Mr. Meatball!)

    Thanks for letting him take the stage, Miss Meatball! I feel like I’ve been reading so many posts and comments by women about their groom’s ring; it’s nice to finally get the other perspective. Now all we need is to hear from a groom who won’t be wearing a ring, and I’ll be totally content.

  4. Member
    LPC 47 posts, Newbee @ 11:25 am

    Concur. Nice writing dude:).

  5. Member
    happilywaiting 1574 posts, Bumble bee @ 2:32 pm

    Bravo Mr. Meatball! I have added Contraptions to my Etsy faves to show my guy. Your ring is rockin’!

  6. Member
    MaPo 315 posts, Helper bee @ 4:02 pm

    Oh Mr. Meatball. You are hilarious and thoughtful and kind. Team Meatball is so super-fab!

  7. Member
    mascara 859 posts, Busy bee @ 11:33 pm

    Love the ring, and great post Mr. M! If my own Mr. M had not already ordered his ring, I’d show him that etsy site!

  8. Member
    purpleHaze79 874 posts, Busy bee @ 9:48 am

    You are too funny, Mr. M! And I love the ring that you chose!

  9. Member
    LatteLove 5567 posts, Bee Keeper @ 12:00 pm

    Thanks for the post Mr. Meatball! I think your ring is crazy awesome. You’re a great writer, just like your lovely fiancee :-)

  10. Guest Icon Guest
    itsageiger, Guest @ 1:49 pm

    great post, and way awesome ring! thanks for sharing with the hive. :)

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