Weddingbee Blog
I like to think of myself as our little family’s CFO (that’s Chief Financial Officer). Giving myself a title frees me to be detailed and business-like about our finances, helps put me in the right frame of mind to update my guy, and makes me a little less grumpy about the time I spend paying bills, calling the stupid cable company because they’ve screwed up my bill yet again, and keeping track of mountains of paperwork.
And I even have an office with a view (oh, and it IS in the corner of the house!). Now if only I was cool enough for an assistant…
Anyway, I see my role as the family CFO as extremely important. Not only do I handle the tactical stuff (paying bills, checking balances, filing records), I help frame and recommend strategic decisions. Do we want to take a yearly vacation? What’s more important to us, eating out or keeping the Home Depot stock afloat? Should we rent or sell our extra house?
Today, for example, I will update our net worth spreadsheet (which feels like a facetious title right now, but won’t always be that way!), look at our list of projects and wants to see what will fit into the budget, and then meet my guy for lunch to do a quick review. If anything weird shows up on our statements, our balances hit a fun target (we watch our mortgage closely), or I pay something big off, I’m sure to share.
See, I’ve always done this - well, at least since early in our relationship. But during one of our arguments, it was mentioned that one of us did everything around the house and the other did not.
I realized he had no idea that I put a couple of hours into our family’s budget every couple of weeks because I’m on my laptop, and he assumes I’m either web surfing, blogging, or working. It was a silent contribution, and I was getting no credit!
Showing him our current situation and future goals also helps in discussions about new projects. Before, he’d suggest some big project (well, to me it was big; to him everything “shouldn’t be that hard”) and I’d start running numbers in my head and trying to figure out how to fund it. Now, he’ll suggest a project, we’ll talk about a few details, and then he’ll ask me to put it on the list. Relief!
Plus, financial experts tell us over and over that one partner should never be in the dark about the family’s finances, even if they’re not the partner dealing with it every day. I’ve gone so far as to print a list of every account, username, password, and account number we have. If I’m suddenly unable to deal with stuff — for whatever reason — he’ll at least have a starting point. At his request, I deleted the electronic copy for security reasons.
Our work environments are very, very different. Mine is very business-like while his is very, very casual. Presenting to him — even in such a casual way — gives him a little peek into my skills, which makes me feel good, and helps him understand our situation. In turn, that allows me to listen to his ideas without freaking out about the money.
It works. (And no, I don’t do a PowerPoint, but I have been known to bring out my laptop. Most of the time, I give a verbal update and then show him the documents because he likes to look at them.)
Who will be your family’s CFO?
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I will definitely be the CFO. I already have the spreadsheets and do it all. We don’t have joint accounts yet, but we pretty much do everything together.
I pay all the bills, but Mr. Mascara is the spreadsheet lover of the family.
We could be best friends. I have several spreadsheets - all linked - with passwords, accounts number, balances, goals, etc that I use to monitor our budget, spending, and savings. He laughs and calls me a type A nerd…I just chuck it up to being an engineer. Obviously, I am the CFO for our household. He has no idea how much anything costs…so you’ve inspired me to set up a weekly debriefing…
p.s. great post! I think it is important to have one person in control, but it’s even more important to have the other person completely aware of everything.
Haha. I feel your pain.
I am & will be our CFO. hahha. I like that I get a title.
Mrs. Gebera, CFO of Gerbera Family. ahahah.
I am definitely the CFO and I think we will have a smiliar relationship when it comes to money.
I want to know(and share) every detail…he would just like to know if he can buy that DVD or video game, or if he can grab a beer after class with a buddy, or we can afford a new couch.
This will be helpful when trying to kep him on the same page as far as money, but not overwhelming him (he’s been a student all his life and had very few money problems to deal with)
We both are very open with everything, but I’d say he’s the CFO of overall management.
I am a CPA and love all things numbers so I will be the CFO. But I agree with you its important both partners know whats going on!!
Oh, it’s me. Decisions are couple activities, but the tracking is all me. And frankly, that’s best for everyone–one look at his desk compared to my desk would tell you who ought to be in charge of keeping records.
The mister pays all of the bills, but I imagine that I’ll have to become more informed once all of our finances are combined. I am blissfully ignorant right now. But I wish that I could be more like you!
I am the CFO of our household and i LIKE the way you describe it! I do it by default (1) becuase FI is very disorganized and (2) he is a physician and is home about 1/2 as much as me (read - it wouldn’t get done). Every once in a while I get bitter about doing everything, but like the way you describe your frame of mind. He is not in the dark about decisions, but I am the one who organizes it all. I am going to start thinking of it like you do and give myself more credit!
Overall its me, I will pay the bill and keep track of everything, but we are very open about the finances as well 
Great post!
Would you be willing to show us what your spreadsheet looks like? I am preparing to be our family CFO, and I need to create a system to keep everything organized. Thanks for considering it!
While we are both accountants, I am more organized and will handle the bills, so I guess that makes me our CFO.
I am wayyy laid back about money. I suspect that he will be the neurotic one looking at all the accounts all the time, and I will be the one to pay all the bills. We have discussed it and decide to keep it simple:
my paycheck will go straight into savings
his paycheck will go straight into EVERYTHING else… bills, money for gifts, home improvement projects, etc.
great post!
hehe I dont have enough bills to create a spreadsheet… yet. I have tried though, but only because I love organzing my life into little boxes (okay that sounds HORRIBLE!)… anyway, I love reading your posts Miss Cheese. They are realistic and you dare to bring up topics that are not all ribbons and rhinestones. Thank you for keeping brides everywhere grounded.
I encourage everyone to definitely check out Quicken or another financial software proram! I am the ‘CFO’ in our marriage, and I don’t know I would do it without this program. It automatically downloads your checking, investment and credit accounts, has automated budgets and tracks your Net Worth (charts and all). Total godsend. And no, I’m not a representative!
I’m more organized than Mr. K so I am the CFO as well, but he is the resident money-worrier. I’m not a worrier, so we balance each other out.
Definitely the hubby. He has an MBA so might as well put it to good use 
It feels like the CFO shoes are a little big to fill for our household but I suppose it would be me….Since we make close to the same amount of money for the forseeable future and we don’t plan on having children, it works for us to keep our money separate, but save for mutual goals. We have open agreements about those goals, but we want to leave each of us personally responsible for doing our best, and deciding what that looks like for ourselves as individuals. As such, we also negotiate a lot and subsidize each other’s goals on a case by case basis. I handle many of the duties you describe, but quite honestly, we just aren’t quite as detail oriented and organized about it as you guys seem to be. I know being more “job like” about it might satisfy me on one level, but I also know I have a tendency to get resentful about voluntary job-like roles. Our “meetings” are frequent, but very informal, so maybe that’s part of why I end up feeling that way.
I am our CFO - if I let him do it, we’d pay off our credit cards but not be able to pay for our gas, electricity, or water…. exactly like that Everybody Loves Raymond episode.
Hmm, he pays the house bills and makes most of the money…but as far as doing the spreadsheets and keeping track of what has been spent wedding-wise, I’m definitely the CFO…but I still have to (want to at least) clear with him first before making a big wedding splurge. That way, I get his approval and he won’t go wondering where the wedding money went to.
Great post, Cheesy!
We’ve actually defined our roles in the household as such: Mr. Cookie is the CFO, I am the COO (Chief Operating Officer), and we share the CEO’s duties. Perfect household occupations for us!
Totally me.
I’ve been monitoring my spending since I graduated from college. Subdivided into categories.
At first it was tracking spending and seeing how soon we could buy a house and furnish it. But we did that last year.
At the end of the past year, I reassessed, saw how much we actually spent in each category and re-budgeted.
In January, Mr. googleLiz got laid off. So, at the end of the month, I now get his numbers, too, and add them to my spreadsheet. (google spreadsheet) and see how close we are to not spending more than we have coming in. (budgeted wedding items offset by parental funds.)
It helps me sleep better at night knowing where our money is going and how much of a safety cushion we have.
We share the “CFO” duties.
We’re both CPAs-in-testing (in process of taking the Exams) and we both work in Public Accounting as Financial Statement Auditors, so we both know our way around a Spreadsheet with our eyes closed.
For our Personal Spending: City Boy makes the Budget, I enforce the Budget and we each track our own spending.
For Debt/Bills/Etc: City Boy determines how much to pay on CCs, Most of our Bills are on Auto-Pay, and I take care of remembering and paying the Monthly Expenses like Rent.
Before we had our system in place, we actually both paid Rent one month and didn’t pay our Cable Bill!! Now we use a spreadsheet to track our monthly expenses, when we paid them, how much we paid, and from what account.
PS–I second Laura’s Quicken suggestion. It is very user-friendly and with 1 click, I can download all the transactions for all of our credit cards & bank accounts!
I know nobody reconciles their bank accounts these days, but I recommend to everyone using Quicken/etc to save your receipts and daily/weekly/monthly enter your transactions manually and then download the transactions to reconcile. I’ve caught several errors this way that I may have missed if I just downloaded the transactions without review!!
That would be the mister. He makes a detailed spreadsheet of expenses every month and compares them throughout the year.
I’d say we share the role, too — although he works in finance, he’s completely disorganized. I keep things in order.
Great post Cheese. I think role definitions is very important in a relationship and especially in a marriage.
Currently I am the COO/CFO. I schedule when we do the things that need to be done in order to keep the family running. Such as laundry night (we have to laundry mat), cleaning days, when the cat needs to go to the vet or my fiance has a dentist appointment. And I also do the finances (with the exception of the stock market, which he does).
whew… definnitely not me. I’m always the one wanting to spend money we dont have or shouldn’t spend. It’s not that I want to splurge all the time, it’s just that I have a hard time knowing where to invest and when to save. Champ is much more into the stock market and investments than I am, and truthfully I don’t mind taking the back seat!
Hmmm…he pays the bills, I do the budget spreadsheets…this is something we actually share!
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Mrs. Cheese, Knoxville
Age and Occupation: 29, Engineering Manager
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, CAD Designer
Engagement Date: July 31, 2008
Wedding Date: May, 2009
Blogging Since: October 16, 2008
Venue: Our home and the two acres it sits on
About Me: I’m an emotional girl who loves sentimental things, parenthetical asides, and trying to do things herself. I can cook, sew, am a whiz at planning, terrible at delegating, and totally in love with my fiancé (who will be my second husband but first love of the rest of my life). For our home/ garden/ DIY wedding, we’ll be moonlighting as interior designers, home improvers, and gardeners with the help of our fabulous friends and neighbors. We can’t wait to be married, and are learning how fun getting married can be.
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