Wedding Blog

I hate that my parents live so far from me, but I love how easily mom and I can communicate by e-mail. My mom and I spent a lot of time emailing dress links back and forth on the day immediately following my unsuccessful dress-shopping outing. I was trying to find a vintage, modern, sophisticated, or cute dress to wear for the simple parents-only civil ceremony we’re planning.

My mom was on her best “mom” behavior: she vetoed what she thought wouldn’t look good on me, what she thought was trendy or odd, and anything she just plain didn’t like. On one hand, this was rather annoying (I mean, it’s my style and my wedding, right?). But on the other hand, it was helpful. Mom was trying to help me find a dress that would look good not just on the day of our wedding, but also in our photos for years to come. See, my mom doesn’t go crazy with seasonal clothes. Instead she buys classic, simple pieces that outlast the trends and fads. Mom gave the thumbs down to my lacy tiers and my shutter-pleats, instead steering me toward simple ivory a-line and empire styles.

Soon I had several Firefox tabs open, each one containing a dress from Nordstrom, Macy’s or J.Crew. Some were of mom’s choosing, some were mine, and others were dresses we both agreed on. I decided to start my ordering frenzy with Nordstrom’s. I had six promising Nordstrom options but no Nordstrom store within 250 miles. Lucky for me, they were offering free shipping! Even luckier: no Nordstrom stores are located in my state (so no sales-tax). I added all six dresses to my cart, then carefully combed their return policy at least three times before making the most expensive clothing order I’ve ever placed in my life.

The dresses took what seemed like forever to arrive. The order I placed on Thursday finally shipped on the following Tuesday. Soon after that, my dear Mr. Mary Jane received this at his office:

I couldn’t wait to unpack them and try them on. Are you ready for some photos? I thought so.

All professional photos of the dresses are from Nordstrom.com. I left the photos pretty big; I like big photos of pretty dresses, how about you? Mr. MJ took the photos of me. Sorry about the coloring - it was a difficult lighting situation and I did a poor job editing them in Photoshop. In person, the dresses were pretty true to the photos from the Nordstrom website. Without further delay, here they are.

Phoebe Rosette Empire Waist Silk Gown:
My mom really liked this one on the web site. I wasn’t convinced, but I ordered it. (Why not?)

I did not like the fit of this dress at all, and no one else did either. ’Nuff said.

Cachet Beaded Waist Jersey Gown:
Simple and flowy.

This was the least expensive dress, and it showed. I could see the built-in-bra padding through the fabric. It also made me look like a chunky monkey with a square butt (IMO).

Moving on….

BCBGMAXAZRIA Lace & Tulle Tier Gown:
I love the look of this gown, but no one else I showed it to did. It was my big dress order though, so I ordered it anyway. (It was also the most expensive of the dresses, so I decided I wouldn’t be too disappointed if it didn’t wow me.)

I thought this dress looked great on me, but it was much too fancy for our occasion and wouldn’t fit the “scene” at all. It was also not really fitting to my personality. It didn’t take a lot to convince me; as I said before, this was the most expensive dress I ordered.

BCBGMAXAZRIA Laser Cut Satin Gown:
I wanted to try a different style/shape, and this one looked pretty cool (though it looks funny on the model, IMO).

I really liked this dress on me, but again it was too much for a daytime courthouse wedding. It was also perhaps a little too sexy. The main issue I had with it was the weight of the fabric; it was a heavy dress, but the fabric was stretchy, not structured. Think about it… heavy, forgiving fabric + strapless design? Yeah… I wore it for about 5 minutes and had to pull it up half a dozen times. It kept slipping down.

Calvin Klein Lace Bodice Gown & Twist Front Bolero:
This is actually a “Mother of the Bride” dress. The Bolero ties in the back with a chunky bow. I think it would come in handy on a late summer evening. (I’m pretty much cold all the time.)

This was comfortable and fit me well. It probably would have looked better if I had ironed it and tied the bolero properly. (The photos don’t really do it justice either.) But either way, it was just too much. My mom thought it looked like it was for an older person - and while I thought it was very classy, I did agree. It is a “mother of the bride” dress, after all. This was one of my two favorite dresses, but it was just too fancy for what we’re planning (since what we’re planning is “not much”).

Finally, the last dress.

Calvin Klein Charmeuse Gown with Lace Bolero:
How cute is that delicate little bolero? Really cute, that’s how cute.

Bonus pic: me grinning like a goon in the bolero:

“Hay guyz!”

This was the hands-down favorite dress between myself, Mr. Mary Jane, and my mom. It was also very unforgiving; I’d have to watch my weight very carefully throughout the summer, and I’d definitely need Spanx. I was willing to do that for this dress. It was definitely the best one. But guess what? I didn’t keep it. Like all of the others, it really was just too fancy.

If there’s one thing I learned from this experience, it’s that I really shouldn’t be searching for a wedding dress (even “cheap” ones from department stores). This is (by all intents and purposes) not a wedding. Our wedding is a civil ceremony and I really want to give it that look and feel. I’m not making concessions; I really want something that suits the occasion. A floor-length, shimmery dress isn’t going to do that for me.

I returned all six of the dresses and decided to try what my grandmother did almost 60 years ago…

…I ordered a brown suit.

Did you order a bunch of dresses online before you found “the one”?