Weddingbee Blog

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We (okay, let’s be honest, I) babysat our neighbors’ six-month-old son this Saturday while they attended a wedding and it got me thinking about us and our future. The conversation went something like this:

Me: “Honey, let’s wait like a decade until we have kids. I need a nap.”

Him: “Okay. Whatever. Wait, but you’re really good with kids. I had no idea. You don’t even need me. It’s like you know magic to get him to stop crying.”

Me: “Thanks. It’s called bouncing around. WAIT. This is babysitting. Don’t get your hopes up. Come hang out with him.”

Him: “Wow, at six months, he’s like a real human who can play with me!”

Me: “Yup. Wanna hold him?”

Him: “Oh, gawd, ohgawdohgawd. Like this?” {holding him like a very wriggly armful of laundry}

Me: “Good enough. So, a decade?”

Him: “At least until we get the house under control.”

Me: “Right. A decade.”

Him: “Not funny. I’m going to move dirt.” {the never-ending drainage control project}

The older I get, the less I seem to know about kids. See, I grew up with a huge extended family. There was always at least one baby around and I was always the one wanting to hold him and keep him and never give him back. I have baby-handling skills acquired at a young age, thank goodness, and they serve me well.

And yet, the older I get, the more I’m struck by how relentless the needs of babies are, how everything takes forever and makes a mess, how the only thing that keeps our species alive is the incredible cuteness of a baby’s laugh (seriously, why else would you happily wipe stinky poop off everything within a foot’s radius?). ?) I love that kid but I was very happy to give him back.

So for now, we have agreed on a series of goals before we start talking about having kids: finish the major work on the house, sell the bonus house, finish school, get our finances in order. Oh, yea, and get married.

I wonder, though, at what point do you admit that the goals are, at least in part, delaying tactics? Neither of our parents were stable in their careers, financially well-off, or living in their dream house when they had us, and we turned out okay. And yet, it still feels like we have a long way to go before we’re ready. We almost need a whole engagement period’s worth of talking just to be ready for the cutie pie. Oh, wait, that’s called pregnancy, right?

Where are you in the whole when-to-have-kids* discussion?

*If you are having kids. If you’re not, you get no judgment from me. Swear.