Wedding Blog
I’m planning to write about our budget in detail soon, but today I want to share the details of the biggest money-saving decision we’ve made so far, one that’s sure to raise controversy due to its importance.
I love wedding and engagement photos. Love. Them. Even before I was engaged, I spent way too much time stalking photography blogs. Mr. Mary Jane and I are amateur photographers; it’s one of the hobbies that brought us together. We have a couple of nice cameras and enjoy going out and taking photos of anything and everything we see. Whenever people talk about cutting their wedding budgets, the last thing to go is the photography. I fully support that decision. Photos are IMPORTANT. They’re memories.
So it might come as a surprise to you that we’re not going to hire a photographer to record our marriage ceremony.
There are several factors weighing on this decision. For one, Mr. Mary Jane thinks pro-photographers are a little creepy. I have to agree at least partially. They follow you around, paparazzi-style, squatting in the middle of your ceremony aisle, snapping photos of your guests with their mouths full and poking their big, beautiful, expensive lenses into your face at every opportune moment. And while it’s true that during touching, important moments, most people would not even notice a camera’s presence… we’re not most people. The officiant would be asking us for “I Dos” and our camera-geek selves would be whispering lens specs to each other. This factor alone isn’t influencing our decision, but it’s something to consider.
Additionally, my family doesn’t care for posed photos. They like candid shots. So the whole “get the family together for a group shot” situation is not likely to happen on our day anyway. And it’s not that big of a day! There will be no elaborate centerpieces or cute matchy-match bridesmaids. Just us and our folks, pretty much.
But the biggest reason we’re planning on forgoing a photographer will also take the longest to explain (so sit back!).
I love paper photo albums (remember those?), but I have a history of over-recording everything. I’ve always had a goal of recording my life’s important events in photos, but not long ago - at the ripe old age of 25 - I realized that I had more photo albums already than my grandparents had from their whole lives. Of course, this is largely due to how easy and inexpensive it is to develop digital photos… but it’s also because older generations only recorded what was truly important: weddings, children, holidays, travel, and people.
I’m a follower of blogs like Unclutterer and The Simple Dollar. Their ideas overlap in that less clutter equals more money for important things. I don’t take everything these sites say to heart, of course (homemade shampoo? no thanks), but the principles are clear: to live a frugal and clean life, you need to prioritize. As 25-year-old me looked at my mountain of photo albums, I realized that I had neglected to do just that. I then took on the gargantuan task of paring them down. Did I really need 7 photos of the same mountain from different angles and zoom-lengths? Twenty-six photos of a car that I only owned for a year? Twelve head-shots of my friend eating her birthday cake? (See what I’m getting at here?) When I was through, I’d gone from nine photo albums to four and had removed only photos that were duplicates and/or completely irrelevant to the event being shown. My albums are now both manageable and interesting for potential viewers. It felt GREAT to accomplish that.
A wedding is a pretty important event, but when did it become the MOST important, most expensive, most heavily over-photographed event of a couple’s life? Let me tell you about my parents’ wedding album. I wish I could show you a photo of it, but my parents live far away so a description will have to do. I have always loved their album. It’s forty or so photos. They’re all 3×5 snapshots, showcased in a store-bought album.
(source)
What’s important isn’t what the album looks like though. It’s what’s inside. A photo of my smiling parents holding hands at the courthouse. Their kiss. A handful of photos showing their 20 guests. Toasts at the reception. The cake cutting. The get-away car. That’s it. There is no close up of the embellishments on their cake. No artful composure showcasing a buckle on my mom’s shoe. (Gasp — I don’t even think you can see her shoes in any of the photos!) My parents’ album shows what really mattered to them: their marriage and their guests. Not the detail of the centerpieces or the labels on the wine bottles. Just them, getting married. Mr. MJ’s parents’ album is simple too. His mom scrap-booked their snapshots in a cute little book that I really enjoyed looking at with her over the course of about 20 minutes on a Saturday afternoon. My dream is to have an album like these (except that instead of a ring-bound album with plastic inserts, I might try a Blurb book 
).
What’s wrong with the photo below? Maybe it’s not perfectly centered, and maybe it’s a little blurry, and maybe it wasn’t taken with an expensive camera. But doesn’t it capture the moment? The joy? Isn’t it classic and representative of the couple at that time in their lives?
[source - I don’t know these people]
When I was married before (yep - I was), I had five albums. FIVE. And I never felt like going through the hassle of looking at them. If anyone wanted to see, I’d usually only pull one out - the one with the bulk of the ceremony photos. And I’d hastily flip around to what I thought were the most important shots. The rest were just too much. I was embarrassed by the amount of near-meaningless photos of random details that there were. My photographer did an awesome job providing me with several hundred gorgeous photos, but was photo-overload.
Mr. Mary Jane and I don’t NEED 200 photos of me putting on lipstick and eyeliner, or 45 shots of Mr. MJ’s dinner plate, or 300 head-shots of us making various faces throughout the ceremony. We don’t want a whole shelf full of wedding albums containing so many photos that people make up excuses to not have to look at them. We don’t want albums so detailed that only those planning their own weddings would be interested in viewing them. We want a simple, short and sweet album showing us getting married. Our parents’ albums are touching in that you can really spend time on each shot, absorbing the day. Each photo is special in its own way. A big fat 800-photo collection? Though quite thorough, it’s also very exhausting. People feel the need to skim through it, pressured by the hundreds of photos they’ve yet to view.
I know some brides want these photos to serve as memories of a day that goes by in the blink of an eye, and I respect that. It’s just not a priority for us. My husband and my marriage are pretty much the only important things in to me in the long run (and so is the $4000 we’ll save by skipping the pro-photog). With both of us taking classes and venturing in to the wild world of home-ownership too, I’ll forgo a couple of memories and keep that fat wad of cash in my purse, thank-you-very-much.
I know what you’re thinking: this is a huge risk and we’re going to regret it. What if no one gets any quality photos of our wedding? Got it covered. Though we don’t plan to involve a professional photographer in our big day, we may are open to getting some professional photos taken commemorating our marriage. (So what if they may not be taken that very day?) Instead of spending thousands of dollars spent on wedding-day coverage (out of the question), we’ve decided to wait and see what our parents’ cameras provide. If those shots don’t satisfy us, we’ll opt to spend a few hundred on a “married” shoot. (Think “engagement shoot”, only after the wedding. Some people call this a “day-after” shoot or a “couple session”.) We’ll wear our wedding attire and venture out on the town with a photographer, capturing some posed and candid shots of us: the new Mister and Missus. We may decide to use these shots on our announcements and for framing.
We’ll then be able to combine the pro-photos with our parents’ shots, all in a nice album… and viola! A concise collection of less than 100 photos documenting one the most special times in our life together.
Have you cut anything major out of your wedding, and do others think you’re crazy for considering such a thing?
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I get where your coming from. We want to do a married shoot too, since our engagements were, well, yucky. But I can’t not have a photographer. I love, love, love my photographer and couldn’t imagine not having pictures of our wedding day. But I don’t think you’re crazy.
I don’t think you’re crazy! You have to prioritize. And while my photographer was my MUST HAVE on the *budget* the MUST HAVE for my day are a tie between my future husband and our marriage. I’m lucky enough that I can have both (or all three).
Though we are wedding photographer obsessed, I really respect your viewpoint. I wish I could let go of some of these things like you are able to… but we knew that the awesome photographer was the one thing we had to have.
We went i-pod and skipped cake instead 
I absolutely, 100% know where you’re coming from. We’re foregoing a photographer too and opting to spend half the proposed photography budget on a really, really nice camera that we can keep after the wedding…I want to learn about photography and take it up as a hobby. We’re going to have my sister take pictures for us…she’ll capture the important moments. I can’t justify it to myself to pay a total stranger thousands of dollars to be up in my face the whole time. I’d rather spend it on our house, or our honeymoon.
Congrats on prioritizing- that’s a really hard thing to do!!
I think this is great. My husband and I went through much the same thought process, and almost didn’t have a photographer at all for many of the same reasons you detail. We ended up with a pro-photographer friend who wanted to shoot the day for the cost of her plane ticket here. It worked out perfectly. I have a bunch of great photos of myself and the women who matter to me, the ceremony, our families and that’s it. They were exactly what we wanted. Our wedding also wasn’t very detail-y to begin with, so there weren’t many details to shoot. Some of my favorite moments aren’t documented, and that’s fine with me. I get to hold those glowing memories close to my heart, I don’t need a photo to remember the joy.
Kudos to you for sharing this decision with the hive. I think you’re right, it’s going to prove pretty controversial, but as long as you did what’s right for you, who cares?
Good for you!! You know what this day is really all about.
You may have even convinced me…
We feel the same way about photography! People keep telling us that we’ll regret not spending more of our (very small!) budget on a photographer and it’s honesty getting a little annoying. I don’t way to pay someone tons of money to be in our business all day long snapping away and end up with five huge boxes of pictures I know I’d never look at. I’m just not that type of person, and my FI isn’t either. Gosh, I don’t even know if I’ve ever SEEN more than one photo of my parents wedding.
We’re having one of my FSIL’s best friends, a photography student, come just take some pictures all day long and I trust that she’ll do a great job getting the kind of candid pics we’d like. Works for our budget, works for us!
I love your posts I relate all too well!
If we were having a smaller ceremony, we’d almost certainly do the same. The only reason we aren’t relying on family and friends is because we don’t want to take away from their time to spend with out of town guests that they don’t often see. I can imagine it might be rather awkward having a super intimate wedding and then having this stranger snapping away at you!
wow, i really respect and admire your decision. i guess im one of many that just automatically considered pro photos a must-have that HAD to be a huge chunk of the budget. but im right there with you - “amateur” candids and simple posed shots are often the most meaningful and memorable. man…youre making me re-think everything!
I’ve put a lot of time into every detail of our wedding, little personal touches here and there.
Why? For me it’s definitely the most important day of my life up until this point.
I can’t imagine not having a photographer there to capture every moment. Even if no one else cares to see the pictures I know I’ll look back at them one day!
It may be years down the road, but I’ll like looking back.
I hope our children will enjoy going through the albums and seeing every moment just as I have enjoyed going through my parents and even my grandparents albums.
Kudos to you though Miss Mary Jane, I wouldn’t mind saving a nice chunk of change!
We’re on the same wavelength, Ms. MJ. I want some record of the day, but I don’t need all the bells and whistles. For our City Hall wedding, I’ve asked a friend who does freelance photography to come and take pictures and then provide us with a CD of his favorite shots. We’re paying him, but it seemed less weird to have him there than a total stranger (especially since we’re only allowed 8 guests).
I think it all depends on what outcomes you have in mind…for me, I want some really artsy pictures that we could frame and do cool stuff with. In order to be able to blow up photos quite large, you need higher resolution images that you’d have from a professional DSLR camera.
I can’t say that I would want to make a major investment in an album (because how much will I really look at it?)…Mr. S is just going to design ours himself…but there are definitely things I’ll want professional pics for
I love hearing the different things people are saving on! I still love my $30 veil
THANK YOU FOR POSTING THIS! No offense to other bees or other posters with different priorities, but when I see postings about engagement shoots, boudoir shoots, bridal shoots, 12 hours of wedding photography and a day-after/trash-the-dress shoot, I often wonder what the heck people are going to do with all of these photos?!
Maybe you need a good photo of the two of you together for your wedding website and a engagement announcement in the newspaper. And your parents might want some good photos of the extended family and a nice picture of you and your husband to display in their home. And maybe you want to remember what the church and reception hall looked like because those buildings could burn down or be sold and changed at some point. And maybe you want to remember all of the fun DIY projects. But what about the rest of the 15,000 pictures? What are you going to do with them?
Unlike yourself, we are hiring a professional photographer. However, we just having him meet us at the ceremony site to take photos of the first look, the ceremony, group portraits and then some pictures of us together. This is about 3 hours and considerably more affordable than 10+ hours of coverage. Our friends have pretty decent cameras and good photography skillz, so we will rely on them to capture the cake-cutting and other kodak moments at the reception.
When you describe it that way, it does sound excessive. However, what you have described are sort of the two polar opposites of photographic documentation. There is (as with all things) a happy medium, if you care to find it. Our photographer, while a professional, is far from a stranger stalking us with a camera. In fact, he photographed my parent’s wedding, and did senior pictures for myself and my sister. He’s done portraits of my husband’s kids. At this point, he’s practically family. And while he certainly may have taken 800 photos, he presented us with proofs of about 350, from which we selected 60 for our album. We spent a lot of time with our photographer before the wedding, discussing what kind of photos we wanted - and hence there are no photos of me applying mascara, but there is a lovely and sweet shot of my MIL standing on tiptoe to pin on my husband’s boutonniere. There are no endless photos of the cake - but there is one priceless one of my 1-year old niece with the tip of her finger in the frosting and a look of amazement on her face (Cake as Big as Me!) There are no photos of my shoes - but there is an adorable one of my dad and the best man holding my bouquet and my sister’s (the MOH) bouquet, and looking more than a little confused as to how that happened. Professional photographer does not necessary equal an embarrassing excess of meaningless photos - unless you just have a really bad photographer with whom you communicated really poorly.
Hmmm… I think the weight that is put on the photography is comparable to the weight a bride puts on the wedding herself. If you regard this as one of the most important days in your life, the photography portion will probbaly be a big deal. I myself am one of the brides getting 10+ hours of coverage, 2 photographers, and ordering the professional album and 2 CDs (one of high res images, one of low res). Im sure I will collect pictures that our friends and family have taken, but they wont be professional quality. I’ll post them on facebook and maybe even print a few, but I dont know if Id be able to have them blown up to a 16×20 to frame above the mantle…
I think its great that everyone has found ways to cut costs in various fashions…if pictures arent that big a deal for you, then you should definitely not spend thousands on coverage, editing, and albums.
If I could only keep the candids taken by our guests’ point-and-shoot cameras and had to let go of the professional candids… Why, I would just break down and CRY. The pro pics captured on our wedding day include some of my all-time favorite photos of us celebrating with our friends and family!
But it sounds like you’ll have family and friends at the wedding with nice cameras who are more adept at photography than our guests were. I hope your guests come through for you and capture some nice moments.
Also, if you do somehow end up with 200 photos of getting ready and 5 albums’ worth of pics.. you don’t need to print and display all of them. It’ll take some time, but going through the volume of photos to narrow it down to just your favorites is a worthwhile exercise.
Great points MJ! We hired only a semi-pro photographer (he does a few weddings a year on the weekends) and he got some great shots. Sometimes I’m sad we don’t have AMAZING photos like some brides but for the most part it doesn’t bother me. I felt the same way - what I do with 1000’s of photos?! Also, we have 4 wedding photos in a frame in our living room. Two are from our professional pro and 2 are actually from our guests! Goes to show that sometimes your candid pics from guests are even better!
I am SO back and forth on this issue. We can’t really afford an amazing photographer but I WANT one. It’s sort of killing me. Ugh.
I think the key is perspective: there will always be more money and more things that you need to buy. It’s deciding what you want most.
You’ve got that figured out.
Hmm, I totally get why people want good pictures of their parents helping them get ready,the ceremony, the dress, the cake, group portraits and the relatives and friends having fun. And I would certainly put those in an album and frame a few of very best for myself and our parents.
What I don’t understand is what people do with the extra sessions like day-after, trash the dress, etc? I guess if I could understand the purpose, I would be more willing to buy these services myself. But I feel like the wedding photography hasn’t really given me a compelling argument about why I should do this.
With the bridal portraits I could see framing one or two of the best for my mom, boudoir (ok, I know what your husband will be doing with these ;-)), getting a nice engagement announcement photo. But am I really going to look through 7 albums of photos after the wedding? Will my children be THAT interested in ALL of that photography? Also, I can’t see either us or our families displaying more than one or two photos in their homes– more than that would seem like I was creating a shrine to the wedding or something.
I love to hear more from either the bees or other posters about what they plan to do with their photos once the wedding is over.
I love to hear more from either the bees or other posters about what they plan to do with their photos once the wedding is over.
I should have added: particularly the “extra” sessions that take place before or after the wedding.
Some of the best photos from my cousin’s wedding were those taken by the guests (they had disposables at the dinner tables). The guests were able to capture some of the details that everyone else was too busy to worry about.
I am having 3 photographers @ my wedding - but it’s costing me onlt=y $900. My friend is a photographer, who is just starting out after graduating and she does great work. She is who we hired, but she is pregnant now, so she is having her sister (also a photog) come up to second shoot. And my MOHs sister is an amateur photog and wants some experience.
As far as albums go, I see the point about the album, but I do enjoy having alot of pictures to look at. We have 300-400 engagement pictures, but I printed about 50 and put them in a little book. But I love to click through the pictures on my computer and see the goofy ones, or the not flattering ones, and they remind me of what a fun day it was!
I don’t think I want any extra sessions after the wedding. I think it’s nice, but it just costs extra money, and I would feel vain (haha - not that u guys are vain for TTD shoots or anything, just what I would feel like)
I LOVE pictures, so it was obvious to us that we’d have a kick-ass photographer but to each her own! That is the beauty of this wedding stuff - you get to do what YOU want to do!! YAY!
Hey, I didn’t know you were an encore!
I’m a picture hoarder too. thanks for the reminder to just dtich em!
Thankfully, there is a very large middle ground between the two polar opposites you have described here, which is where I hope to find myself. The efforts I’ve had to put out in selecting our photographer, and communicating our needs with her has not been obsessive or hugely time consuming, and it has allowed me to rest easy knowing that I don’t have to rely on whatever shots my family and guests take as my only source of memories. Not everyone who gets 200 photos is doing so because they want artsy shots (though I know that is a very popular reason these days). It’s just so that we have someone dedicated to taking photos for us, so we can just enjoy ourselves. That said, we are having 65 guests, and if things were scaled down to a handful of people, I probably would take the same approach as you Miss MJ!
Having a amazing pictures was really important to me. And I want pictures taken in a journalistic manner, anti-posed. So…I found an amazing photographer on Craig’s List. We met and clicked. She is doing our wedding and engagement photos for a pennies because she’s starting out.
But if a photog isn’t your thing, I totally respect that. There are *so* many other things you can spend the money on.
Excellent post! I was married before as well and I think for each bride going through her second wedding, things are different than they may have been if it were the first time around: you feel differently about pretty much everything that goes into the day.
We’re almost opposites: My first wedding was at the courthouse, with my parents in attendance and absolutely no fanfare, no flowers, snapshots and a return trip home for a home cooked dinner. The marriage was a lot like the wedding and it ended with a resounding thud.
For my recent (and FINAL) wedding to my wonderful husband, we wanted everything I’d missed out on the first time and that he’d never experienced before: the engagement, the ring, the shower, and the photos. Why do we really need 1200 photos? We don’t but I love looking at them and I think I will continue to throughout my life. We’ve pared them down into a 40 page album that I am over the moon excited to receive, once it is finalized.
You Go for standing up for what you want and don’t want and this is a great example for people that you can make your wedding everything you do or don’t want. It’s your day, wether or not you have a team of paparrazi following you!
Thank you~
I agree that photographers and videographers can seem a bit like paparazzi the day of the wedding. I’m all for pros, amaeteurs, whatever suits your needs. Lets get real..you can say that you never noticed your photographer or videographer on the day of the wedding and they may have stayed in the ‘background’ but really..who else at your wedding is standing around with a big fancy camera, possibly another one hanging on their should and a fancy video camera in their hands moving around the reception non-stop. If you didn’t notice them it’s not necessarily some ’skill’ they have to disappear in with your guests but the fact that as a bride on your wedding day your head is spinning in every direction and your’re on an adrenaline high.
Good for you Miss Mary Jane for going with what you want!
“This is a huge risk and you’ll regret it,” isn’t what came to mind AT ALL. Your discription of your old photos really rings true to me. In the end all what the heck will you do with all of them?
While I also LOOOOVE photography I just don’t see tons and tons of wedding photos as something that I’ll really use in the future. Ultimately I’d rather have a great engagement shoot and do a cool shoot every few years as we have kids and they grow up. Those are the pro photos that I know I’ll really want to hang in my house.
No offense to anyone who prioitized wedding photography. It is soooo beautiful.
I like Sara at 2000dollarwedding.com’s idea. She asked all her guest to upload their photos to her flicker account. Plus she asked a few talented friends to pay special attention to taking picture at certain times. As long as it was a low pressure situation I’d be so happy to do that for a friend.
After going a few rounds with photographers for our wedding I was getting pretty frustrated with it all. Prices are out of sight and what you get is overkill. So I feel, and at certain levels agree, with our fair author. If you want a take on wedding photography from someone who has worked in the pro photo world, check out my rant, er, post, here:
http://jorgegortex.wordpress.com/2009/04/05/
The photography is of key import to me and my fiancee… so I will sit down this weekend and do my own judging and exhibition of the latest candidates…
We’re thinking of asking a friend to do it, who recently started a photography business. Also, I’m going to make the wedding album online, on a site like blurb.com, and we can even order additional copies to serve as the parents’ gifts. SO much cheaper than the photographer’s album specials.
Best wishes!
I’m with the above posters- there is a huge middle ground you are skipping over. I have a photography degree, though I work with motion picture cameras now. There is a lot to be said for hiring the photographer who fits your style and will give you the coverage you want. But you have to tell them! My photog told me about one wedding where there was no space for her to take photos because there were four video cameras set up to film the ceremony!
Good photography is about good editing. For every photo you see, there are tons you don’t. And now that everything is digital, you have a little more security as whether you got the shot. With film, there is a lot more going on. Exposure, developing etc. A lot more room for error= let’s take more shots just in case! And mistakes happen, look up robert capa’s d-day photos. I just did a job where the lab trashed the film.
But in all things, hindsight is 20/20. It’s easier to know what you want when you’ve already done it.
And sometimes, you get what you pay for. IMOP, I took some pretty crappy photos as a student and a just-starting-out photographer.
I also messed up a photo session that could not be reshot as I was still learning my equipment.
I hope I gave those people a good deal though!
Just to play devil’s advocate a little bit… in your recent “Civil Inspirations” post, you expressed the difficulty in finding photos of stylish civil ceremonies. Since you’re blogging about your wedding plans and the day itself, don’t you want others to see and be inspired by how you pull together your stylish courthouse wedding day with photos that do it justice?
My mom got married last February and didn’t want a photographer at first. She knew I’d take pictures that day, but I wanted to enjoy my mom’s day and not be responsible for capturing special moments. I talked her into hiring someone with a reasonable hourly rate to just capture candids of the friends and family in attendance (it wasn’t a “wedding photography package” — it was instead a wedding photographer who offered us her normal hourly portrait rate). The only posed photos were a few with me and my brother and our respective significant others with my mom and new stepdad. And you know what? $250 later, she had a few hundred beautiful photos capturing the emotion and detail of the day that no snapshot I have seen from that day has provided. She put together an inexpensive Shutterfly album that she breaks out constantly to show people, and we now have photos of our friends and family that exceed any snapshot we could have taken. It takes up a sliver of space in her home and her life but the importance in having those photos is monumental. http://www.weddingbee.com/2008/02/28/momma-cupcakes-wedding/ if you’re interested
Having professional photos of your wedding day doesn’t have to mean getting the whole shebang. If you don’t see the point in having “getting ready” shots, you don’t have to get them. If you just want an hour or two of shots of you two exchanging vows, the people in attendance, how they looked, the emotion that they showed — that is a totally viable option. It doesn’t have to be like every other wedding photography package. But to me, having ANY professional photos of our day was worth every penny, and the photos are worth every bit of space they’re taking up on my hard drive. Not just because we can now look at them forever, but because our children and grandchildren will now have an amazing peek into the day that bound us together as husband and wife that will outlive us.
Just a Cupcake’s two cents
I think if you get the right photographer, you would never notice they were there. For our wedding, we had a few of the close-up detail shots, but skipped the post-ceremony ’stylized poses’ that are so popular these days.
What I loved most about our wedding photographer (Aaron Willcox out of SD, if anyone is interested) is that he was so unobtrusive we forgot he was even there. And yet, at the end of the day, we had hundreds of gorgeous candid shots that captured the entire momentous occasion. For me, I could never imagine giving that up, even if it saved me double what he cost.
I was so worried you all would be hatin’ me today! Photography is a very passionate subject, and with good reason. I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one, and that those who are having pro-photos do understand my reasoning!
I agree, if one of your goals is to have artsy photos for your home, pro photography might be a wise investment. Mr. MJ and I are (amateur) photography hobbyists, so we have our own prints hanging in our home.
And I also agree with those who said they do want all of those details captured. If I spent so much time and money on a very detailed wedding (or even just a larger wedding), I’d probably feel differently about having a professional photographer.
The last thing I want to address is middle ground. This is something I might work really hard at if I cared more about it. While our city’s craigslist is pretty defunct, I’m sure I could find someone. I can think of a few coworkers offhand that I could probably contact about it. I think what’s got me stuck is this. You know how everyone has a friend with a nice camera and a pretty good eye? Well, I am that friend (and so is Mr. MJ). W shot e-photos for one friend last month, and we’re shooting them for another later this year too. Then, we’re doing their weddings next year. So it rarely occurs to me to ask someone else to take photos. Because *I* take photos. Is there any way I can photograph my OWN wedding? lol.
@Mrs. Cupcake - You’re definitely right. I’m such a hypocrite. And this is one of many examples that prove that even if you want the simplist of simple weddings… it isn’t simple. haha!
Oh my gosh, Miss Mary Jane! I thought I was the only one who thought this way. At first I wanted the simplest of wedding. One that would focus only on what really matters. I’ve never been a fan of excess of clutter. Instead, I focus on what I really want and spend money on those few things to get the best quality. Then I was swept up into the world of weddings. I wanted the $10,000 cinematography, and the this and the that. I felt like I would be missing out if I didn’t. All the while I was wondering if I would ever watch the $10,000 wedding video more than twice. Even joked around that I would make my fiance watch it every day to make it cost effective. Lol! After much thought and seeing your post, I want to go back to before I was swept away into everything bridal and really just plan on what will make us the most happy. Cheers to you!
While I respect the opinions of others who choose to get professional photography, and love the fact that there is so much to choose from in the realm of photographers–
I totally agree.
And I know lots of people like scouring the photography blogs and ooh and ah over the various photos that have made the rounds, but I find that so many of the engagement shoots and wedding day photography and trash the dress sessions… look exactly the same.
I also want to remember the day as I and my family and friends and guests remembered it, saw it, felt it, experienced it, and not through the eyes of a stranger. (Shots of my shoes = not necessary. Neither are the “our love story is so totally movie-worthy” photos.) I totally get you on the “it’s weird”– I know I’d notice a photographer walking around, shooting pictures. For every other important event in my life, a professional photographer wasn’t needed– graduation, siblings being born, special birthdays, any kids we might have… I don’t see the necessity of having one now.
Plus, dropping that much money on a photog, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be satisfied with what I got in the end.
I’m a photographer and I have NEVER taken photos of people with food in their mouths at the reception or done anything disruptive at the ceremony. If you have a telephoto lens, you should be able to take shots from a pew or chair near the aisle, or off to the side as to not disrupt anyone. After receiving photos, my clients tell me they can’t believe I captured all the moments I did because they never knew I was there!
I certainly respect your decision but just wanted to let everyone know that not all professional photographers are creepy that way. lol
My second shooters actually shot my 50 person wedding, so while I paid them more than their normal rates, I didn’t fork out a ton of money on another pro.
Miss Mary Jane - you asked if you could photograph your own wedding…I wanted to do the same thing!!! I shot many of my own detail shots the morning of the big day, so maybe you can do the same. You could shoot your rings, attire, shoes, and flowers (if you choose to get them).
I wouldn’t call myself photographer obsessed by any means, but choosing and hiring the best photographer our money could buy was the best decision I think we made in our planning process. I would have personally regretted not having those memories documented by a pro photographer. We didn’t spend a lot (our photographer was somewhat new to the business then so we got an amazing deal) but what we got, in the end, is really all we have to remember the day by, and I admit, the glossy gorgeousness of the photos gives me a tremendous amount of satisfaction.
Everyone has their priorities, and you made the best decision for you (And I applaud you, Miss MJ!), and this comment isn’t directed toward you AT ALL. I thought I’d say it to those brides that are UNSURE as to whether or not they want to hire a photographer to document your day… I’d say, if you’re wishy washy… DO IT. It takes the pressure off of your loved ones to have to take good shots, and you wont live with regret. If you’ve made a firm decision one way or the other, that’s great, but if you are debating… I’d definitely say hire one, hands down.
Oh and also, our photographer wasn’t some weird stranger shooting photos in our face and being a burden… she and her second shooter were like sly cats, and not once did they detract from the intimacy of the day.
I definitely agree with you, Miss Penguin. If you’re planning your wedding and you’re not sure if you want photos or not, INVEST THE MONEY. Because it’s much better to have them and not “need” them, than not have them and wish you did.
I definitely get where you are coming from. My parents have ONE wedding album. It’s simple and to the point. Every photograph serves a purpose - one of the cake, one of the bridesmaids, etc. etc. That’s just how things were back then (in 1979). Today, wedding photography has blown up! It’s such a big deal! In general, weddings today versus back then can be much bigger deals than they used to be.
It’s funny - my mom has been helping me a lot with planning. When I was stressing over a veil she said, “When I tried on dresses, the saleslady handed me the ONE veil that went with my dress. I bought it. No questions asked. Done.” She can’t believe the amount of money and time that goes into every wedding decision today!! In many respects, I agree with her.
I think you and Mr. MJ are making the right decision for you. In the end, that’s all that matters!
I definitely agree with most people here about it being a personal decision and perspective. I can’t live without my photos (even if a lot are stored away, I’ll think of a memory and go find the corresponding photo and end up spending a couple hours rummaging through pictures). I’m having all those crazy bridal photo shoots mentioned by Sakoro, but I know I’ll cherish ALL of them. I could understand where someone else may not have the same feelings about photos and the hooplah.
I’m just curious so this may not be appropriate, but this is the first time I knew you were married before and can’t help but wonder if it’s altered your views on the wedding and extras? Besides the money issue, could it be a reason why you’re okay with a city hall wedding (which I’m not trying to say is a bad thing at all!)? Does that make sense?
One thing I would ask of everyone…as a bride 5 weeks to I do…and as a freelance student photographer…please don’t take advantage of someone in your family or a close friend “who takes amazing photos and will do it for cheap”. not only are we expected to work twice as long for 1/4 of the money (yes we don’t have the crazy credentials of other photogs yet) but may want to actually enjoy a fraction of the wedding day of our loved one too
I respect your decision and I understand your POV, especially since you’ve had the experience that gigantic photo albums didn’t work for you the first time round. We all have to proiritize. For me, photos were so much more important than anything else (aside from actually getting married) that I actually wish I’d spent more on it now. But we all have our “thing”. I would never have considered a “designer” dress worth the money, pretty as they are. But others say they have to get “the one”, and spend thousands of dollars on it. You do what’s right for you.
I totally understand about the photo overload. When I look at a family or friend’s wedding album, I usually go through them quickly until I get to the more important ones (photos of the couple and guests). If we’re having an intimate wedding, we’d most likely forego hiring a photographer like you. However, we’re having a bigger wedding. So we decided we’re hiring a pro photographer for a few other reasons besides capturing that special day.
I want my guests to enjoy the wedding as much as possible. At my brother’s wedding, I was so consumed at capturing the important moments that I didn’t enjoy the reception at all. If my guests enjoy spending most of the time taking photos, then that’s fine. But if they don’t, I will still have photos from the photographer.
As I plan my wedding, I love looking at photos of wedding details to get inspiration. I want to inspire myself. Since I am planning to work hard on the details of my wedding, I want to share these details to other brides hoping it will offer them inspiration as well.
I want more options if possible. Even though I only plan to put photos that are important to us in our wedding album, I want more photos to choose from. That is why we’re planning to have posed photos as well even though we want photojournalistic style most of the time. We might like the posed photos as well, who knows. I did read one bride’s regret of not having posed photos.
@Danielle: I respectfully beg to differ. Mr. Mary Jane and I are the “friend/family who takes amazing photos” in our circles. And we LOVE doing it. The shooting, the post processing, everything. I refuse to accept payment for it though. The person is a friend/family - I don’t want to take their money! Every opportunity we get to shoot someone’s e-pics, wedding, or even photos for their business/website is another opportunity for us to do the hobby we love to do - photography.
Very interesting perspective, Miss MJ - I am going to get 5 bazillion pics taken of that day, but I am just getting the DVD at the end, so I have control of what goes in the books. I think I may just make a book like the one you described, making sure to get all of the most important shots included. That will be the official book that I’ll make copies of for close relatives and friends. But for my own viewing? I’ll probably have a huge pile of albums with each detail. That’s how I roll! 
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Mrs. Mary Jane, Grand Forks, ND
Age and Occupation: 26, Instructional Designer
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Lead Programmer
Engagement Date: February 28, 2009
Wedding Date: September 2009
Venue: City Hall
About Me: I'm a career woman on the surface and a homemaker at heart. I love fast cars and high heels, and my favorite food is cake. Mr. Mary Jane and I are both full-time employees and students, and we just bought our first house. We love to curl up on the couch with buttery popcorn, Sour Patch Kids, and the latest Netflix arrival -- whenever we can get a break from everyday life.
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