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My last post was about my perspective. I am so glad that so many readers reacted so positively to my post, but I feel like I need to dive into the feelings surrounding the post and give you some background.
As I said, our wedding is next month, and this week, well, I’ve turned from Miss ’happy-go-lucky’ Peeps to Miss ’freaked out/bitchy’ PT. While others around me haven’t felt or seen my wrath, poor Mr. PT has had his hands tied as I tirade around him making demands.
It’s been a low point.
A really bad low point. I got heated and I said that I didn’t want the wedding anymore. I want to be married, but the wedding was just getting to be too much. And as soon as the words were out of my mouth, I ate some humble pie and started to apologize profusely.
Luckily, Mr. Peeps accepted my apology and before the night was over—he had answers to my long list of questions. Seriously, this man amazes me sometimes. He puts me in my place when I am out of line, but he does it in such a loving way, a way that no one else has ever been able to do!
This low point of mine made me want to put things into perspective. YES, I want our day (more like weekend) to be phenomenal, but I also want to focus on the NOW and LATER. Not just the day. I realized that after the wedding, wedding planning will be over. I’ll never experience the joys of being a bride again.
So I have a #1 goal - to start embracing my ridiculously long list of detailed to-dos and to put a little love and sweetness behind each one. Because if I can feel positive today about the little details, then they will be that much sweeter on the wedding day.
I also have to stop second-guessing my choices. Each choice was made with love and care, and at this point in the wedding planning, I have to trust myself and keep true to our vision.
So I sat down this morning and wrote out every single to-do that I have. Each email I need to write, each sign I need to print, each song I need to pick. Goal #2 is to do only what is on the to-do list, and to add nothing. I also want to share this list with Mr. Peeps so he knows what needs to be done, and I am crossing my fingers that a few things will spark his suppressed inner-planner to help me out. But really, if he doesn’t do anything, that’s okay too. He keeps me sane, loves and cherishes me each and everyday, and he puts a little (or a lot) of perspective into my life.
So, have you had your wedding low point yet? Has anything made you stop and put things in perspective?
oh yes, I am so there. I made the same “I hate our wedding” comment and luckily FI understand that I didn’t hate the idea of marrying him, just the necessity of plodding through this neverending list of *stuff* that has to get done. We’re at about 1 month out and it’s a definite low point. I’m hoping that by the time the week-of roles around, everything else in our lives will be settled enough that I can maybe start to enjoy the process again.
I think that with all the beautiful pictures of sites like this people lose sight of what’s important and worse they set too high standards. What people need to realize is that everything comes with a super high cost..and I don’t mean only $.
Usually, the bride is the only one freaking out about every detail it would be good to keep in mind that most people won’t notice.
So, this may sound kind of silly, but I kept second guessing everything so much that it ended up stressing me out so bad that I was getting sick over it (and mind you, I’ve only been engaged for three months and the wedding is NEXT year!). My absolutely wonderful fiance came up with an idea. We now have a code word that means something is finalized. Once we both say that code word we can’t go back on our decision. The best part? Our code word is Snuffaluffagus.
So. Our colors are pink and brown. Snuffaluffagus.
Aw Peeps, I hit my low point recently too, with about a month to go, and it was directed predominantly at poor West Coast Groom! It’s hard to keep things in perspective, and I have longed many times to just be married already and forget this whole wedding thing. I chalk it up to the extreme highs and lows of this period–Super love-filled bridal shower thrown by my amazing girlfriends/bridesmaids? HIGH! Fifteenth conversation with my future father in law about how my parents didn’t get to invite some of their siblings to the wedding so, no, he can’t invite some rich co-worker who invited him to his daughter’s wedding last year–LOW! Making a concerted effort to stay clear headed, focus on the positive and cherish the journey is half the battle of t-minus 30 IMO!
Yes! Moving out of the family nest was a huge eye opener for me. Suddenly, I’ve completely lost all momentum with wedding planning, and the focus is on life after the wedding. Eeks. But I think it’s good. I’ve officially gained perspective. 
Hang in there PT!
I know it can be difficult. It’s great your FI is so supportive and helping you. I’m t-14 days and I am working through that list right now. At times it feels a bit overwhelming, but you will get to the point where you are feeling happy and ready to go.
best of luck!
Sorry to hear it, Peeps! Glad you guys talked about it & it got better for you.
I have been very, very low stress throughout the entire process. It may be the whole destination wedding thing, though! 
I don’t know anyone who’s ever planned a wedding and NOT had a low point. I haven’t had mine yet but i know it’s going to come!
Haven’t had it yet, but I know as the day gets closer (and closer and closer!) I will eventually get there. And I hope my FI handles it (and me) as well as good Mr. PT. You’re so blessed!
Ugh, Mr. Bruschetta and I had one of our biggest fights EVER about the limo. That’s right, the LIMO. I’m so embarrassed I got so heated, but in the moment, we were both arguing SO hard for our own positions!
omg, this is the appropriate time for this post! I totally lost it yesterday after seeing the proofs of the bridal portrait….spent most of the day crying and whining, and wanting a new dress (even though wedding in 3 weeks and no more $ to spend!)..it’s terrible…i have officially turned into a bridezilla…urgh! i hate myself for this, but i can’t help it!
I definitely hit that point, and I think that the way you recovered was right on. Good for you!
I was at that point about three weeks ago, and I think it may come again before the big day is here. It will be worth the work! Hang in there.
This post was very encouraging and a great perspective. I need the mtoivation to keep putting my heart into the little projects because that’s what makes them special. They’re not worth it if you’re heart’s not in it.
I think it happens to most of us. I definitely had my breakdown moments! Lists are the best therapy!! Hang in there!
It seems feeling like this is all “part of the experience”, but it’s not the part I signed up for! I feel more than ready for it to be the weekend of the wedding, and all the details still left… meh. Who cares what I walk down the aisle to! I’m hoping I’ll get some perspective and put on some happy pants soon. Thank you for the reminder that I’m not the only one going through this, and that I need to embrace being a bride and all the fun that comes with it.
Ah, Miss Peep! I’m feeling so similar. It really must be what happens to you when you have a month to go. I’m really glad you posted this. I totally relate to you! For me, at this point, t’s hard to find the balance between getting stuff done with my taking names/kicking butt attitude and enjoying the process because I’ll only be a bride once.
I think my low point came rather early, I am paying fo rmost of the wedding I have the most saving and my family is on the this side; he wants to havea second one in his country; I started going over the lists and the money spent and he said it made him sad and we already went over it and do we have to talk about money; it hit me, I was more concerned about th p lanning and budget and didnt focus why we were doing it and focussed on our love and everything will be alright; we’re long-dostnace, he lives in Europe and he was more worried on what happene afterwards while I was planning little details and didnt even ponder that.
THAt really put things into perspective, I felt bad and ashamed of myself, so now I have joy again in planning, not sweating it too much because I remember we’re doing this in love and no will notice if things go wrong and if I spend a little more, it’s our one day.
Yes. It has been difficult balancing what we want for our wedding and what his parents want. After a night of discussing the wedding with his parents, I told my FI I couldn’t wait for this wedding to be over. Like you, I apologized as soon as it came out my mouth. We now have a rule that we will dedicate one day a week that will be no wedding talk. So far, it has been great. He even told his mother that every time we see them, the main topic will not be what is next on the to-do list. He is really doing what he can to keep me sane.
I hit that point a few weeks back and still feel a bit badly about how I was reacting to things during that time. Thanks for sharing, it’s nice to know I’m not the only one out there feeling like I did.
My low point was about two weeks before the wedding when we found out that one of our groomsmen was going to be unable to make it because of a last minute military assignment - the third groomsman who couldn’t be there for that reason. We were devastated. After wallowing for a bit, we asked some of our very close friends who were involved with the wedding (ushers and sword bearer) to step in ‘in honor’ of our groomsmen who couldn’t be there. They were all thrilled to do it, and it made me realize that it was the people who were supporting us in our marriage - not the details of the day - that really mattered. And in the end, it was those people who made the wedding day truly amazing!!
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Mrs. Peep Toe, San Francisco Age and Occupation: 29, Policy Analyst Fiance's Age and Occupation: 36, Olive Oil Production Manager Engagement Date: December 16, 2007 Wedding Date: May, 2009 Blogging Since: November 26, 2008 Venue: Hotel Vitale About Me: I am a west coast lady who loves the San Francisco Bay Area. I love living with Mr. Peep and our animals: Huck the Dog and Ferris the Cat. I work to save the environment in San Francisco, while Mr. Peep makes ridiculously delicious Olive Oil. On any day you can find me reading the latest book I have gotten my hands on, eating Swedish Fish, and perusing wedding blogs! We are both champagne drinking foodies on a Bud Light budget. We are planning an eco-chic, intimate, and interfaith San Francisco City wedding.
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