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One of my longtime friends, Special K, and I hung out one weekend a few months ago in the hopes of finding some makeup for the wedding. Well, actually, it was more like a trip to try and break me from my fear that makeup makes me look like a clown. I’ll save that for a separate post…
Anyway, I let Special K take the lead in speaking with the cosmetic counter ladies. The problem is that Special K let it slip that we were hoping to find makeup for me for my wedding. WRONG MOVE!! We were summarily dismissed and asked to make an appointment for a “wedding trial” that would require a $50 minimum purchase. Um…WHAT?!! Isn’t this a recession? We’re hoping to possibly spend money on something that is, under these economic conditions, not a necessity, but we must come back later because it’s for a wedding? I totally don’t get that.
I feel like the “W” word (WEDDING) can be the kiss of death when trying to plan. Some people have done experiments with pricing, and found when they contact companies and or service providers that they will increase the price when told their services will be for a wedding.
Granted, I don’t know if this is happening now in this economic climate, but do weddings have some sort of mystique about them that tells vendors that engaged couples and their families want to spend MORE than other people having another type of event? Have weddings grown in size and price so much that we engaged folks have subconsciously let vendors think that we will always take the more expensive route?
Anyway, while I can’t answer all of those questions myself, I was very wary about using the “W” word again too loosely.
Anyone have this happen to them?
Yes. When talking to vendors, I told them I was “throwing a big party” at the end of May. Once I got their quote, I’d drop that it was a casual wedding reception. One crazy woman tried to raise my quote for the exact same stuff “because it’s a wedding and your expectations will be higher.”
Yea, that sound would be me walking away.
I have seen it happen to friends and myself. For instance, my friend was at a party and liked the DJ so when she spoke with him he said he was $125 an hour. Once she mentioned the “W” word, he quoted her to start at $1K. I think it is absolutely nuts. Even with my hairdresser. A regular updo is $50 but a bridal updo starts at $75.
We’ve toyed with the idea of telling vendors it’s a family reunion, but lying didn’t seem right to us either. I’m with you about the recession - I hear the prices that some people want, and I think: “In this economy? Are you serious?” I think that the inflated prices that were congruent with the housing market haven’t quite balanced out yet.
I am SO tired of hearing about all of this! Stick to your guns, ladies, and don’t give in to this “wedding rate” nonsense. (sigh) We can do it.
I got the same thing at the make-up counter (that I needed an appointment). I also got the ‘OMG you are doing YOUR OWN make-up for your wedding’ gasp… multiple times 
I was at a bakery looking for a small cutting cake. They had birthday cakes in their displays that were similar in size to what I wanted just without all of the extra birthday stuff, these cakes were priced at $30. When I told the sales lady that is what I wanted for our “wedding” she quoted me $90 for the same cake only for a “wedding.” Needless to say I went with another baker.
@kmally: The same thing happened to me! The place that I was at had simple, beatiful cakes that I didn’t even want changed AT ALL - but they still wanted to charge me more because I was using it for my wedding.
Aww Swan. I heart you. I’ll do your makeup for you (I am actually pretty good lol). But keep asking around, or maybe check some of the Sephora people. They are generally pretty good with accomodating exactly what you want and just want you to buy one thing not guarantee buying 50 bucks worth of products.
It’s not that they think you WANT to pay more, but that they think you WILL. And it’s really exploitative. But we all know that girl who stomps her feet and cries until mom and dad’s checkbook comes out, don’t we? They’re banking on the fact that weddings are built up to be your perfect day, and you’ll get what you want, whether or not it’s fair. It seems fair to me for us to say “event” or “party” when we’re discussing pricing– we expect the same service from them whether it’s a wedding or not. So they would be the ones being dishonest, no? Gah. This kind of thing makes me crazy!
Oh yes … and my favorite question of all when inquiring about the price of something: “What’s your budget?” Well, why don’t you just tell me what you’d typically charge for this service and we’ll go from there, hmmm?
I’m with spwingal, I definitely thought about saying I was planning a “large party” but felt weird about lying, even if vendors so often put you in a position to make you want to do so. But the only vendor I’ve encountered so far that I felt wanted to rip us off was a decor guy who wanted to charge $1,000 to hang *20 paper lanterns.* Yeah, he was one of those “what’s your budget?” guys and I stupidly gave him a number (though my number included the lanterns AND fabric draping, in my mind — he just heard the lantern part). When he sent back a $2,000 quote and I said, “no thanks,” I could tell that he knew he screwed up but I also wasn’t going to haggle with him because who wants to do business with someone like that?
Oh yes oh yes. I started telling bakers that I wanted a simple cake for my in-laws’ anniversary party after a while. I don’t think they believed me, though.
Yes I have had the same issue. It really annoys me that just because I’m getting married they think I want to fork over thousands of dollars.
Ugh, I ran into this problem a lot, especially with hair and make-up. Regular “special occasion” updos were significantly less expensive than a “bridal” updo, which really put me off. When I asked around, the general response was “because brides are a lot more picky than a regular customer.” That seems like a really ridiculous reason to me, because when it comes down to it, it’s the same amount of work - the type of customer is a crapshoot, just like any regular appointment. Unfortunately, I didn’t see a way around it, especially when I showed up at the salon with all my BMs and my mom!
I’ll second trying Sephora— I’ve had some great experiences there with trying out products and getting a minimal sales pitch. Since they don’t work on commission they’re more willing to spend time with you, even if you just want a lipstick
I cannot believe that! I haven’t had that experience because I am too sheepish to lie in the first place. Just in googling the topic, though, people say, “Don’t use the word wedding.” (http://www.google.com/search?q=using+the+word+wedding+cost&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&sourceid=ie7&rlz=1I7ADBF_en ) if anyone is interested. It’s a shame. I can’t imagine taking advantage of people like that, but I guess some can be so heartless.
Hmm, I always get advice about not telling vendors that it’s for a wedding, but I just can’t bring myself to it. I feel like they will automatically know that I am lying and will be offered crappy service withouth my being aware of it. The worst part is going into the wedding planning process and looking at vendors without having a clue as to what the average price range for a service is.
I think I’m making my wedding planning process easier by going the DIY route with all stationery and papery, the flowers, the make up (sort of), the hair. Our venue takes care of the catering and we get a free cake out of it. My biggest fear is the photographer!
i have found the same thing down here in South Florida… it seems that the only two industries not affected by the recession are funerals and weddings!!!!
Ditto shopping at Sephora!
I’ve encountered that as well. I told my fiance’ I don’t even want to hear the “W” word any more!! I have been telling vendors that I’m having a celebration at a family home (the reception is at my future in-laws house) just so that I stopped receiving ridiculous bids.
I’m the type that calls corporate offices when I’m unhappy. I think it’s ridiculous how people upcharge for weddings. When I went to prom, they did the same thing to me, telling me I had to buy $50 in makeup. I definately didn’t set up an appointment, and went right back to the counter on prom day without mentioning prom - Got it done for a $14 purchase instead.
They should be thankful you’re even looking at the high-priced makeup…
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Mrs. Swan, New York City Age and Occupation: 31, Legislative Representative Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Finance Guy Engagement Date: August 9, 2008 Wedding Date: August 2009 Venue: Battery Gardens About Me: I am an un-crafty but resourceful, Caribbean-born but New York-raised woman who's been known to analyze "Dancing with the Stars" and “So You Think You Can Dance”, buy stinky cheese, and use way too many parentheses. I keep lists for fun, am constantly daydreaming of my next international travel adventure (four continents down, three to go), debating sports (let’s Got Mets/Giants!) and dancing around my apartment to stay sane. I am excited to share our wedding planning journey as I hope to plan a streamlined, personal, and fun wedding with the greatest life partner I could ever imagine, Mr. Swan.
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