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I am still a little self-conscious of the fact that Mr. G and I have been engaged for two years. Two years?! This long waiting period wasn’t intentional. We hoped to be married quickly. But around every corner, life seemed to get in the way.
Back in May 2007, I was newly engaged and thinking about a simple, small wedding. Enter: family, expectations, visions of a beautiful, elegant wedding, and every last detail that goes into the planning and execution of “one perfect day”. Our loved ones wanted a big wedding at a fancy venue. They wouldn’t take “no” for an answer. So we set the date for November 15, 2008 and hastily booked our venue; our most expensive vendor (by far).
One clause in the venue contract scared me. “In the event of a cancellation, party owes the entire cost of the event in full.” Brutal. But, at the time, we never imagined anything would go wrong.
Then enter the failing economy, lost jobs, and health-related issues.
By July 2008 there were so many negatives weighing against us that we knew that we couldn’t pull off the wedding by November. Luckily, there was a postponement clause in our contract. We couldn’t cancel our event completely, but we could postpone it without a penalty fee. Whew. We made the difficult decision of delaying the wedding from November 2008 to June 2009. I recall feeling helpless and sad.
There have been a few not-so-fun situations resulting from the postponement. Couples who weren’t even together when we got engaged two long years ago have gotten married before us. Friends and relatives, wondering if the wedding is on or off, sheepishly ask, “So, when’s the wedding?” A lot of people ask us why we postponed. I’m a private person. Do I owe them an explanation? I guess in some ways, I do.
When we first postponed, I wondered if June would ever come around. But it has, and we will finally be married. And when the day is upon us, all of the hardships of the postponement will be a distant memory. We will be married, and life goes on.
Did you consider postponing, or did you have to postpone your wedding? What were some of the difficulties you faced? Please feel free to share your story, if you would like to.
We’ve been together five years and lived together for four of those five. I love my FI but I was seriously beginning to believe he wouldn’t propose and then all of sudden he did. Well this was a month after I commited to two years of braces, so we are planning a June 2011 wedding and it drives me crazy how many people who weren’t dating when we started are already married, but life goes on I love my FI and he just moves a little slow, lol.
we postponed, but only because I was too chicken-shit to plan a september 2008 wedding in 4 months flat.
That’s so wonderful your wedding is so close!! It’s great when things start falling into place, isn’t it?
We just attended a wedding two weeks ago of a couple who started dating almost a year after we got engaged, but now we’re only 5 months out and I know it’s going to FLY!! 
We chose our date so far out so we wouldn’t have to postpone.. it gives us a lot of time to plan, save, and get everyone on board. Sure, people looked at me like I was insane planning a wedding a full two years out last fall, but now that’s it’s 17 months.. I feel much less crazy and much more in control.
Though, sometimes I wish we could just throw it all in the air and get married this october..
Oh gosh I know that feeling very well. We’ve been engaged almost 3 years now and are still struggling to figure out what we want to do exactly. I think people have finally gotten the hint and have stopped asking us when the wedding is as I have just responded with “we’ll let you know when we decide”. I tried giving honest explanations….the boy was finishing his master’s thesis and didn’t have a job…but oddly enough nobody seemed to think that writing a 80 page thesis and graduating with a masters then finding a job was something that required much effort and couldn’t understand why we didn’t just “put the wedding on credit cards”. Then he finished, I lost my job for a few months, people STILL didn’t understand why we weren’t planning a wedding. They thought that since I wasn’t working then that was the perfect time to do the planning! Now we both have jobs, have a new place and are trying to figure out if we want to just run to Maui and elope or not.
We’re getting married in June and will have been engaged for two years and a week! Never did i think we’d have so many people ask us why such a long engagement. My answer to them: i’ve got my whole life to spend with him, no rush:) My fiance had proposed right after i got my master’s and i had been going to classes 4 nights a week and working full-time. There was no way i wanted to delve right into planning. On top of that, we wanted to save some money for the big event. We’re happy now we had time to enjoy the engagement and now i am in disbelief to think my wedding used to be 700+ days away and now it’s less than 3 weeks!
Good for you for recognizing that Nov. 2008 didn’t work for YOU & moving the date! There are a lot of negatives (from other people) associated with postponing a wedding, but to me it has always been ridiculous! There are GOOD reasons why people have to postpone events & it isn’t easy xo
No postponements on our end, but I DO hear ya about how frustrating a longer engagement can be, at times.
We got engaged in October 08, and immediately began planning a November 09 wedding. But when November 08 rolled around, I realized the timing just didn’t feel right. I hate the fall/winter and I get horribly depressed when the clocks roll back. So we moved the wedding to May 2010. It still seems a long way off, and it can be awkward explaining our choice to people, but I know I’m going to be so happy with my bright, sunny, spring wedding.
I completely understand how you felt/are feeling. I won’t go into details but we have dealt with the same dillema. Hope everything is OK with you and your family.
We considered postponing the wedding for a variety of reasons (4 months ago I had very little done and was starting to freak out!), but ended up deciding to stick with our original plan.
Now, with 6 weeks left, I’m happy I stuck it out! I can’t wait to wed and I can’t believe I even thought about postponing.
We have had to postpone several times. It’s hard when you start planning a wedding and then the Navy has a change in plans and he isn’t here for the wedding 
I do agree with you though on the not wanting to tell everyone. It’s annoying to have to explain over and over to people why you have decided to wait. Oh well - I look forward to the day when we can finally get married, which looks like it will be right around our 2 year engageversy - next year
Ohmygoodness.I know exactly where you’re coming from. We had to actually cancel our first wedding plan in Mexico because of the economy, and everything else that’s happening in that region of the world right now (we were okay with everything but our guests were leery). We’re on the right track for a November 09 wedding now but i was so disappointed when our original date rolled around…
@Gilneas: I am an October 2010 bride too–10/9/10–and I feel the same way as you! It seems like so far out…but it’s been nice to have the extra time for planning and saving–and I am definitely not as stressed about it as some brides I’ve seen.
Sigh, I know this feeling. I’ve been engaged for 3 years in June and we are getting married in August. We chose to graduate from school before we decided to plan a big wedding. It’s a crappy feeling to be asked “when are you finally getting married.”
I didn’t have to postpone, but I wish I had stuck to my guns for a longer engagement. We will be engaged just a week short of a year. I would love to have had a Spring wedding and I couldn’t plan one in six months especially with Pre-Cana
We had to postpone. We got engaged February 09 and really wanted a Fall wedding, but because my FI and his best man are in the military, we had to wait for both of them to get back from their next tour. February 2010 was the soonest we could do it. Actually, it’s all happening nine months from tomorrow. tick toc, tick toc…
Oh Miss Glitter, your story is my story. We’ve been postponing our wedding since Sept 07. Two months after I got engaged a good friend of mine did also and got married the very next month. Two more couples since then as well. I have felt the same self-conciousness when asked about the wedding and why the postponement and people look at you like maybe you are having second thoughts. Absolutely not! My heart cringed everytime I heard someone make mention of their “husband” bc my fiance was in fact still my fiance and not husband. I know a title is just a title, but nonetheless I think we’ve earned it! LOL I sometimes thought my friends did it on purpose. (Shallow I know…and I know they didn’t do it on purpose. LOL)
Now, the date is booked, we’re in planning mode and even though it has taken this long I am so in love with my man and I am so happy we are finally tying the knot! The past month has already gone by so fast and I know it will just get faster.
You’re so lucky, you’re almost there!! I’m so happy for you that you get to be Mrs. Glitter very very soon!
This is a really great topic to bring up. We haven’t decided to postpone our wedding, but we have had to deal with the changes brought on by the things you’ve mentioned. We have had to “explain” (or avoid) the discussions of when we’re getting married. We have had to witness people get married before us. But only some of that bothers me, and even then not much, because we’re doing what’s best for us. It’s tough to both want to explain and feel as if you don’t have to.
Anyway, June will be here soon and I know the wedding will be wonderful.
We had to have our wedding 4 months later than I wanted b/c of a conflict with the school where Mama Frenchie works… now 2 friends have/are getting married before us. It not that big a deal, I’m just jealous b/c I want to be married already
Congrats! June is SO CLOSE!
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Mrs. Glitter, Los Angeles Age and Occupation: 27, Research Consultant/Writer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Accounting Engagement Date: May 6, 2007 Wedding Date: June, 2009 Venue: Millenium Biltmore Hotel About Me: I was born and raised in West Los Angeles, California. I spent eight years in the Northeast working and completing my education. Having split time between two sides of the country has given me a true appreciation for both coasts. It has also provided an overabundance of cross country drives, flights and long distance relationship fun/misery! I love my family, my doggy Emma, fabulous wine, Anthropologie, politics, reading, being outdoors, exploring new cities, and good movies! My fiance and I are complete opposites, but somehow we have managed to fall completely and hopelessly in love.
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