Wedding Blog
I am still a little self-conscious of the fact that Mr. G and I have been engaged for two years. Two years?! This long waiting period wasn’t intentional. We hoped to be married quickly. But around every corner, life seemed to get in the way.
Back in May 2007, I was newly engaged and thinking about a simple, small wedding. Enter: family, expectations, visions of a beautiful, elegant wedding, and every last detail that goes into the planning and execution of “one perfect day”. Our loved ones wanted a big wedding at a fancy venue. They wouldn’t take “no” for an answer. So we set the date for November 15, 2008 and hastily booked our venue; our most expensive vendor (by far).
One clause in the venue contract scared me. “In the event of a cancellation, party owes the entire cost of the event in full.” Brutal. But, at the time, we never imagined anything would go wrong.
Then enter the failing economy, lost jobs, and health-related issues.
By July 2008 there were so many negatives weighing against us that we knew that we couldn’t pull off the wedding by November. Luckily, there was a postponement clause in our contract. We couldn’t cancel our event completely, but we could postpone it without a penalty fee. Whew. We made the difficult decision of delaying the wedding from November 2008 to June 2009. I recall feeling helpless and sad.
There have been a few not-so-fun situations resulting from the postponement. Couples who weren’t even together when we got engaged two long years ago have gotten married before us. Friends and relatives, wondering if the wedding is on or off, sheepishly ask, “So, when’s the wedding?” A lot of people ask us why we postponed. I’m a private person. Do I owe them an explanation? I guess in some ways, I do.
When we first postponed, I wondered if June would ever come around. But it has, and we will finally be married. And when the day is upon us, all of the hardships of the postponement will be a distant memory. We will be married, and life goes on.
Did you consider postponing, or did you have to postpone your wedding? What were some of the difficulties you faced? Please feel free to share your story, if you would like to.
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Share this post: Tales of a Postponement
We’ve been together five years and lived together for four of those five. I love my FI but I was seriously beginning to believe he wouldn’t propose and then all of sudden he did. Well this was a month after I commited to two years of braces, so we are planning a June 2011 wedding and it drives me crazy how many people who weren’t dating when we started are already married, but life goes on I love my FI and he just moves a little slow, lol.
we postponed, but only because I was too chicken-shit to plan a september 2008 wedding in 4 months flat.
That’s so wonderful your wedding is so close!! It’s great when things start falling into place, isn’t it?
We just attended a wedding two weeks ago of a couple who started dating almost a year after we got engaged, but now we’re only 5 months out and I know it’s going to FLY!! 
We chose our date so far out so we wouldn’t have to postpone.. it gives us a lot of time to plan, save, and get everyone on board. Sure, people looked at me like I was insane planning a wedding a full two years out last fall, but now that’s it’s 17 months.. I feel much less crazy and much more in control.
Though, sometimes I wish we could just throw it all in the air and get married this october..
Oh gosh I know that feeling very well. We’ve been engaged almost 3 years now and are still struggling to figure out what we want to do exactly. I think people have finally gotten the hint and have stopped asking us when the wedding is as I have just responded with “we’ll let you know when we decide”. I tried giving honest explanations….the boy was finishing his master’s thesis and didn’t have a job…but oddly enough nobody seemed to think that writing a 80 page thesis and graduating with a masters then finding a job was something that required much effort and couldn’t understand why we didn’t just “put the wedding on credit cards”. Then he finished, I lost my job for a few months, people STILL didn’t understand why we weren’t planning a wedding. They thought that since I wasn’t working then that was the perfect time to do the planning! Now we both have jobs, have a new place and are trying to figure out if we want to just run to Maui and elope or not.
We’re getting married in June and will have been engaged for two years and a week! Never did i think we’d have so many people ask us why such a long engagement. My answer to them: i’ve got my whole life to spend with him, no rush:) My fiance had proposed right after i got my master’s and i had been going to classes 4 nights a week and working full-time. There was no way i wanted to delve right into planning. On top of that, we wanted to save some money for the big event. We’re happy now we had time to enjoy the engagement and now i am in disbelief to think my wedding used to be 700+ days away and now it’s less than 3 weeks!
Good for you for recognizing that Nov. 2008 didn’t work for YOU & moving the date! There are a lot of negatives (from other people) associated with postponing a wedding, but to me it has always been ridiculous! There are GOOD reasons why people have to postpone events & it isn’t easy xo
No postponements on our end, but I DO hear ya about how frustrating a longer engagement can be, at times.
We got engaged in October 08, and immediately began planning a November 09 wedding. But when November 08 rolled around, I realized the timing just didn’t feel right. I hate the fall/winter and I get horribly depressed when the clocks roll back. So we moved the wedding to May 2010. It still seems a long way off, and it can be awkward explaining our choice to people, but I know I’m going to be so happy with my bright, sunny, spring wedding.
I completely understand how you felt/are feeling. I won’t go into details but we have dealt with the same dillema. Hope everything is OK with you and your family.
We considered postponing the wedding for a variety of reasons (4 months ago I had very little done and was starting to freak out!), but ended up deciding to stick with our original plan.
Now, with 6 weeks left, I’m happy I stuck it out! I can’t wait to wed and I can’t believe I even thought about postponing.
We have had to postpone several times. It’s hard when you start planning a wedding and then the Navy has a change in plans and he isn’t here for the wedding 
I do agree with you though on the not wanting to tell everyone. It’s annoying to have to explain over and over to people why you have decided to wait. Oh well - I look forward to the day when we can finally get married, which looks like it will be right around our 2 year engageversy - next year
Ohmygoodness.I know exactly where you’re coming from. We had to actually cancel our first wedding plan in Mexico because of the economy, and everything else that’s happening in that region of the world right now (we were okay with everything but our guests were leery). We’re on the right track for a November 09 wedding now but i was so disappointed when our original date rolled around…
@Gilneas: I am an October 2010 bride too–10/9/10–and I feel the same way as you! It seems like so far out…but it’s been nice to have the extra time for planning and saving–and I am definitely not as stressed about it as some brides I’ve seen.
Sigh, I know this feeling. I’ve been engaged for 3 years in June and we are getting married in August. We chose to graduate from school before we decided to plan a big wedding. It’s a crappy feeling to be asked “when are you finally getting married.”
I didn’t have to postpone, but I wish I had stuck to my guns for a longer engagement. We will be engaged just a week short of a year. I would love to have had a Spring wedding and I couldn’t plan one in six months especially with Pre-Cana
We had to postpone. We got engaged February 09 and really wanted a Fall wedding, but because my FI and his best man are in the military, we had to wait for both of them to get back from their next tour. February 2010 was the soonest we could do it. Actually, it’s all happening nine months from tomorrow. tick toc, tick toc…
Oh Miss Glitter, your story is my story. We’ve been postponing our wedding since Sept 07. Two months after I got engaged a good friend of mine did also and got married the very next month. Two more couples since then as well. I have felt the same self-conciousness when asked about the wedding and why the postponement and people look at you like maybe you are having second thoughts. Absolutely not! My heart cringed everytime I heard someone make mention of their “husband” bc my fiance was in fact still my fiance and not husband. I know a title is just a title, but nonetheless I think we’ve earned it! LOL I sometimes thought my friends did it on purpose. (Shallow I know…and I know they didn’t do it on purpose. LOL)
Now, the date is booked, we’re in planning mode and even though it has taken this long I am so in love with my man and I am so happy we are finally tying the knot! The past month has already gone by so fast and I know it will just get faster.
You’re so lucky, you’re almost there!! I’m so happy for you that you get to be Mrs. Glitter very very soon!
This is a really great topic to bring up. We haven’t decided to postpone our wedding, but we have had to deal with the changes brought on by the things you’ve mentioned. We have had to “explain” (or avoid) the discussions of when we’re getting married. We have had to witness people get married before us. But only some of that bothers me, and even then not much, because we’re doing what’s best for us. It’s tough to both want to explain and feel as if you don’t have to.
Anyway, June will be here soon and I know the wedding will be wonderful.
We had to have our wedding 4 months later than I wanted b/c of a conflict with the school where Mama Frenchie works… now 2 friends have/are getting married before us. It not that big a deal, I’m just jealous b/c I want to be married already
Congrats! June is SO CLOSE!
There were many days when I considered postponing but with an 18 month engagement I had found myself fully absorbed/obsessesed with all the minor details and I couldn’t imagine the planning extended. It really has seemed like nothing but negative ever since we got engaged….illness, money issues, job losses throughout both sides of our family including my fiance being out of work for 5 months. I’ve been planning in a bubble by myself pretty much. I’ve decided that things weren’t all that bad, there were some rough patches when my fiance was out of work but I’ve had a steady job and been saving all the wedding money. If we pushed it off we’d probably go insane since I can’t leave the little details alone and we just can’t control everything around us and have everyone’s lives be perfect for our wedding. Whatever happens, happens, I’m sure we’ll enjoy the day regardless.
This is a really interesting post, thank you. It’s funny how when you’re planning a wedding, suddenly it seems like your business becomes everybody’s business. I can relate to parts of your story, and you have my sympathy. One day soon you’ll be married and it won’t even matter!
I considered on postponing just because the pressure of planning and budget was getting to me towards the end of our process. But, we pushed through with our original date and things went well. It all depends on situations, so long as you’re marrying your future hubby and have your close family & friends there, then it will work out.
June is right around the corner. Happy planning!
Aww, you’re almost there! It’s a good thing you recognized that things weren’t working out and you had to postpone instead of just letting it slip. I would have been in complete disarray. Congrats! It’s almost June All the best in the weeks ahead!
I can relate–Although we’re still in the beginning of our engagement, we’re going to be engaged for about two years (maybe more) because we’re both in law school and ld.
Yay! Your wedding is right around the corner and the wait is almost over. Congrats!!!
No, but we broke up a couple times. Does that count? The ultimate postponement? Yey for you for sticking it out. One more month!!!!
We postponed our wedding as well. And by the time we’ll be getting married we’ll have been engaged for two and a half years!
There were personal and financial reasons for postponing our wedding. And, yes, it’s hard to go through it all. And to feel mad at people who ask you “when’s the wedding” with a smirk, and then feel guilty 2 hours later for not giving an explanation.
In the end, though, I feel it’s made us that much stronger because it’s shown us we can handle hard times and can be patient when we need to be.
Plus we now get married on a Sunday (next year), which according to Italian tradition (my fiancé’s Italian) is the best day to marry. It’s also the day of the week (in the same month) my parents married on, so it’s that much more special.
By the time we finally get married, we will have been engaged for 3 years, one month, and 4 days! Our original date was June 20 of this year…. but then my fiance was informed he would NOT be able to graduate then, and we instantly moved out date back. I had been about two days away from buying a dress and giving a photographer money when that little revelation was made - I was just thankful it wasn’t made later! Congrats to you on being so close! I’m waiting for 6-12-10 to hurry up and get here!
We got engaged in Oct 07 and set a NYE 08 date and in August 08 we postponed due to a variety of reasons- I was moving states, getting married, starting my doctoral program in a matter of 3 months and I couldn’t handle the anxiety. Then, to top it off, my fiance’s mom was diagnosed with cancer and was to have a stem cell transplant right at the holidays. We postponed to August 09. At the time it seemed like the worst thing EVER and was very awkward explaining. But now, with the wedding so near (finally!), things completely calmed down, his mom healthy again, and me settled in out here- it’s SO much better. The hardest part I guess is dealing with people’s nasty comments. One acquaintance actually said to me “Don’t you feel like you’re regressing in your relationship by postponing your wedding?” I was like, “Um, no. Butt out!” And then my great aunt said to my mom recently “So is this wedding happening this time or what?!” People can be so inconsiderate it makes me SICK! Thanks for posting about a topic that hits so close to home! I completely know how you’re feeling!
I can’t believe people can be so rude. Good for you guys, standing up for what you knew was best for YOU. Although my fiance and I haven’t had to postpone, I do sympathize with people and their rude remarks. We were engaged last November, and agreed not to even start planning until after the holidays. People gave us about two days before they started badgering us about why we weren’t deciding on a date. It never ceases to amaze me how people seem to view someone else’s wedding as their personal business. Once again, congrats on choosing to do what was best for you. As other posters have said, June is SO close! Enjoy it!
My FI and I have had our fair share of obstacles as well. He proposed to me about 3 years after we began going out and before that he had also given me a promise ring - we both just “knew”, and now almost 7 years later our wedding date keeps changing and we can’t tack down our reception site because of it. Initially, we had decided to wait until we were both a bit more settled but then it became a very long list of family issues and traditions that continued to push out our date. I feel you Miss Glitter, I really do… I’m at a point where I just want a roadtrip to Vegas and get hitched by Elvis.
We postponed our wedding…twice! Nothing had been booked or announced so we didn’t lose any deposits. By our wedding day, we will have been engaged for 3 years, 8 months.
It will definitely be worth the wait. All of this time has given me enough time to figure out what we want and make better decisions. We’ve also saved up more money to pay for everything.
no postponement, but the whole financial meltdown led to a change in venue (we had a verbal agreement, no deposit made) and reduction of two-thirds of the guest list.
and you know what? i’m actually happier with our new arrangement
Glitter, i’m sure it’s gonna all turn out beautifully. all the best!
It will almost be 3 years to the day once the wedding happens. It’s actually sooner than we initially planned because of a change of location (was going to be in CT now in FL) and not wanting to mess with the thick of hurricane season. We didn’t do any nuts and bolts planning until about 9 months out though, so no . You gotta do what works for you. I know people who have been married for a year now who didn’t even know their spouses when I was engaged for 6 months already. It doesn’t bother me in the least.
My engagement also lasted 2+ years. Back then my fiance and I were both in grad school. He was doing it full time while I was part time. We were living off of one pay check so it was really hard to plan anything esp. living in expensive NYC. I remember feeling the same way, like our day would never come. I almost considered just getting married at the court and party later but that would of broken my parents hearts.
I have to admit the waiting did wear me down at times but thankfully my fiance was there to cheer me up. He told me as far as he was concerned we were already married so the extra months was just formality. Your special day will come. Just view it as more time to save up for your dream weddiing/honeymoon 
That’s what I did at least.
on another note, due to the financial meltdown and job security I am back in that position again just this time with purchasing our house.
We got engaged in August 2007 and will get married in Sept. 2010. I was never postponed but our engagement was planned to be long because he was finishing his Masters and we were planning a serious relocation for 2009 (decided to wait a bit longer) and even though we inquired in 2008, we could not get a date at our first choice venue in 2009 so we booked 2010. We didn’t think about any planning until mid 2008 and I’m hoping to use the time wisely to avoid all stress in the week before the big day but sometimes I would rather just get married NOW!
Sorry for the late reply to my own post! But I just wanted to respond and tell you all how much I appreciate you sharing your stories. Obviously, many of us have dealt with long engagements (for whatever reason), and it definitely has its ups and downs.
By reading through all of your responses I don’t feel so self-conscious of our 2+ years engagement anymore. Thanks, everyone!!
Thank you for sharing! I’ve thought a few times about whether we made the right decision with our timing. I’ll be finishing up my last class for my second degree and Mr. Lab will be in the middle of clinicals for his PTA degree. We both don’t have full time jobs and are paying for wedding stuff paycheck to paycheck since my mom’s not really helping. I keep toying with the idea of postponing but I’ve already paid non-refundable deposits and there’s no clause to move the date. 
Hopefully we can really pull this off! I sorta feel ya!
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Mrs. Glitter, Los Angeles
Age and Occupation: 27, Research Consultant/Writer
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Accounting
Engagement Date: May 6, 2007
Wedding Date: June, 2009
Venue: Millenium Biltmore Hotel
About Me: I was born and raised in West Los Angeles, California. I spent eight years in the Northeast working and completing my education. Having split time between two sides of the country has given me a true appreciation for both coasts. It has also provided an overabundance of cross country drives, flights and long distance relationship fun/misery! I love my family, my doggy Emma, fabulous wine, Anthropologie, politics, reading, being outdoors, exploring new cities, and good movies! My fiance and I are complete opposites, but somehow we have managed to fall completely and hopelessly in love.
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