Wedding Blog
No, I’m not leaving Weddingbee; you’re stuck with me! So don’t worry about that. But I have received some PMs about this topic already, and the other day I got a comment which I will paraphrase (I butchered it for length) here:
… can you please drop the phrase “(non)wedding” from your titles? I’ve been following your wedding details with interest, because most weddings among my family and friends (including my own) tend to be very similar to yours… But still very much a wedding. I understand you’re trying to differentiate between your type of wedding and the standard wedding featured on the blogs, but maybe you could come up with something not so offensive to those of us having a wedding like yours. I’m getting married. I’m having a wedding. It’s pretty “traditional” in my neck of the woods, completely “untraditional” by the wedding industry’s standards, but a wedding all the same…
You guys know that I’ve struggled with what to call my wedding. I don’t really like calling it the (Non)Wedding; I just do it because I otherwise feel like an impostor among the amazing women (and men) devoting several hours per week planning larger or more elaborate “fairytale” weddings. But the commenter above is right. It is a wedding, and I don’t want anyone (including myself) to feel like their wedding is any less special just because it didn’t involve a hired band or a rehearsal dinner.
We’re getting married! That automatically makes it a wedding. Merriam-Webster concurs:
wedding [wed-ing]: the act or ceremony of marrying; marriage; nuptials.
The verdict is in, and most of you seem to agree: I’m having a wedding. Case closed.
And to offset the seriousness of this post, I give you this itty-bitty cutie bun-bun. (And an insanely gorgeous yellow-accented pear-cut ring.)
[source - definitely check out the rest of this gorgeous wedding!]
In your own words, define a wedding in the comments below.
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Share this post: The Last You’ll Hear About the (Non)Wedding
aww this wedding was so cute, thanks for the linky…and i dont personally find (non) wedding offensive…its your (non) wedding after all :oP
yeah… call it what you will. but i do understand the bride-to-be’s concerns.
can i have this bun bun please?
We are having a wedding. It took less than 2 weeks to plan. It is not traditional in the sense that we didn’t spend $50,000 and we aren’t having a rehearsal of any kind, there are no bridesmaids (dear god no, couldn’t pay me to do that) and there will be no family at the wedding.
However, I will be wearing a Maggie Sottero, I have my traditional set of goods and a six pence to boot. We have a christian celebrant, a church, two photographers (they happen to be a married couple) and a bagpiper.
And every bit of it is a dream….as Mr. -soon to be giving me a new last name- will be there and we will share words under the court and God that says we dedicate the rest of our lives together.
I’d say, if you are getting married, it is certainly a wedding.
Enjoy! Have fun! and congratulations!
Well that right there was one of your best blogs, Miss Mary Jane. I was never offended by your calling it a non wedding, but I struggled with this idea myself. Having a non-traditional wedding, planning it myself, taking a different approach to the “fairytale” concept has had me calling my wedding the unwedding, the non-wedding and the alterna-wedding, but at the end of the day, it’s just as you said. We are still getting married and it is still a wedding. Thank you for this, this has inspired me and I feel good about my non-traditional traditionalism. And i heart the baby bunny.
I think people should be able to call their weddings what they want - so if you want to call it a non-wedding, great! If they want to call it a wedding, great! If I want to call mine a pink flamingo, great!
But I think we’re not looking at the true, serious issue here: that bunny! It is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen! I wish I had it to carry around in my pocket. It would be the greatest accessory and friend a girl to have. Bored? Pull out the cute bunny! A staff meeting takes a seriour turn? Pull out the bunny!
I think calling it a “wedding” is actually even more thumbing your nose at the wedding insudstry. To say it’s a (non) wedding is to say that the wedding industy defines what makes a wedding . So girl, call it a wedding PROUDLY! 
This is such a beautiful post. From another (non) wedding girl out there, I salute you.
I totally agree with Spraguebride and loved this post, Miss MJ. I define wedding loosely in the same way as Webster (except for the technicality that some people still can’t marry their beloved in some places, but the commitment ceremony is what makes a wedding to me!)
Whoo hoo!!! You’re getting married in a manner that is sensible and makes you and your future hubby proud and happy. Good for you!! Oh, and yeah, it’s a wedding.
Miss MJ - I’m so happy you’re here blogging about your wedding. I think a wedding is what YOU create - just like a marriage.
@Mary Kate Raffetto: I want the bunny, too - so cute! 
Doesn’t everyone need a little bun-bun?
gotta be honest, never read your posts because I thought the whole non-wedding title was always a hassle.
nobody has to feel less for having a smaller wedding than the norm, like you said: case closed…bring on the wedding details!
I personally feel that you have a right to call your wedding what you want and others shouldn’t be offended! A (non)wedding, wedding, nuptials, commitment ceremony, the big day, getting hitched… It can be teeny tiny or huge. Whatever it may be, it’s the day you and the love of your life promise to be together forever. And it will be one of the best days of your life!!
sorry I should clarify: I never read them because I thought your (non)wedding was that…NOT wedding related.
I’m with you–you’re getting married, it’s a wedding! Nobody should ever feel like it’s not a wedding because you’re not doing x, y, or z.
(I also thought “non-wedding” meant it wasn’t wedding-related.)
i know i shouldn’t care [but you already know i do...hehehe] but i’m glad to hear you’re dropping the (non) part. i felt like you were downgrading your wedding just because it wasn’t “traditional” in the eyes of other brides. i’m glad you’re giving YOUR wedding the status of importance it deserves because, let’s face it, weddings are special regardless of size.
I never paid the terminology much mind, but I think it’s good that you agree that you’re having a wedding. I like the dictionary definition: a wedding is the moment/ ceremony/ legal rigmarole in which two people are wedding and the marriage begins.
You’re having a wedding. I hear ya’ re: the (non)wedding. Heck, we’re planning a fairly “normal” wedding and I still think of it as kind of a non-wedding. As for the person asking you to call it “something not so offensive”, perhaps they aren’t as comfortable with their own wedding decisions to be okay with it? Weddings–big or small–can be tricky affairs, after all.
It’s all good. And the bunny? Oh my!
A wedding is a wedding, no matter how big or small or cheap or expensive. A wedding is about the lives to two people coming together as one, whether you have a big elaborate celebration, quick nuptials in Vegas or a tropical wedding in the Caribbean. You may not be having all the fancy details, but in the heart of it all, it is still a wedding!
You know what? You could call it “My Bath In Strawberry Jam”, and I’d still read your posts! We love hearing about your wedding, non or not!
hi! i just started reading your posts because of this one. i think you could call mine a non wedding too, but I whole heartedly called mine a wedding. I had a small wedding on a mountain, with a party in a barn afterwards, i didnt have a bouquet toss, a cake cutting, and i kept my own last name. I wore a dress from nicole miller that was NOT a wedding dress (oh i loved it, it was champagne color). I called it a party most of the time, but it SURE WAS a wedding! I even had a friend of mine marry us, we had him sign up to be able to marry us for the day. My pregnant bridesmaids wore whatever they could fit into! My sister handmade the rings. It was the most special wedding I could have asked for, because it was exactly what WE wanted, not anything that you could read in a wedding catalogue or common magazine. But it was the most handmade, heartfelt day ive ever had. It was OUR wedding. I hope you come to celebrate your nontraditional self, and appreciate that your wedding is different, and not a non-wedding. Good luck! Keep having fun with it!
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Mrs. Mary Jane, Grand Forks, ND
Age and Occupation: 26, Instructional Designer
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Lead Programmer
Engagement Date: February 28, 2009
Wedding Date: September 2009
Venue: City Hall
About Me: I'm a career woman on the surface and a homemaker at heart. I love fast cars and high heels, and my favorite food is cake. Mr. Mary Jane and I are both full-time employees and students, and we just bought our first house. We love to curl up on the couch with buttery popcorn, Sour Patch Kids, and the latest Netflix arrival -- whenever we can get a break from everyday life.
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