Wedding Blog
Way back when, I posted our wedding budget. It was final, and it wasn’t. We knew we only had about $15,000 to spend on the wedding AND the honeymoon, but where we spent it was up for grabs. By my calculations, it was doable if we only got 125-130 RSVPs. Well, here we are, less than 70 days until the wedding, and it looks like we’ll get no more than 123 people of the 157 invited. We still have 9 responses we’re waiting for, but if they all say yes, we’ll still be at 123.
On the one hand, I’m so relieved. My parents offered to pitch in extra because most of the extra guests were theirs. I didn’t want to take any more of their money and I was really hoping to stick to our budget. On the other hand, I am still a little sad that we got to our desired guest count because a lot of my friends couldn’t come out. I guess that’s how it goes.
So here’s our bittersweet dilemma: should we add to the guest list?
At the very least, we can add 2 people. At the very most, I bet we can add about 7 people.
We do have an extra guest list, but it’s complicated. Basically, we can’t invite one couple and not invite the others. Our guest list is made up of two groups: the teachers in Mr. Joey’s department, and our mutual former coworkers from EMP. There are just enough people in each group that even with 7 possible invites, they all would not be able to come.
The other option is to invite people we haven’t seen or talked to in years who are not part of either of those groups. On top of that, I only have one poster invitation left. How would I invite them? Email? Phone call? I can’t have them reprinted. Our screen printer reused the screen he made for our poster.
Actually, there is one more option. We could leave the guest list as is, and use the extra money for the honeymoon. I can’t decide. I really want people to be part of our big day, but I also don’t want things to get complicated. What would you do?
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I think that I would save the money for the honeymoon~!
Why send invites out to additional people that were not on your initial list?
I agree with Miss Marine and save your money for the honeymoon :o)
I agree with the others — leave it as is, and don’t stress yourselves out wondering who to invite from the “backup list.” You’re sweet to want to include as many people as possible, but I say save that money for the honeymoon!
Honeymoon!!! If it were an easy ask, I’d go for more friends, but it doesn’t sound easy. Sounds like one more thing to stress about so leave it as it is, enjoy your wedding of 123 people who love yall and use that extra money for a great dinner or first class upgrades or spa treatments with your hubby on the honeymoon!
Honeymoon. I’m not into the B List Invites… and it just complicates things. Honeymoon, handsdown.
I agree with the comments above. In your mind you have likely already dismissed the “b list” guests as not able to attend… so I think at this point I would use the money towards the honeymoon too.
I’m sorry to hear that so many of your friends aren’t able to attend. I would be a little sad about that too.
I agree with the others: honeymoon. If these people were not on your “absolutely they need to be there” list, then don’t invite them now (especially if you can’t find an appropriate way to send the invite). We had a smaller wedding than we anticipated too, but we never added more people near the end. You’ll be so happy it’s small when the day finally arrives and you actually get to spend quality time with the people who are there. Go have a super fancy dinner on your honeymoon or upgrade a room or something instead!
I would save the money! Since it sounds like you can’t invite anyone without a lot of complications (extra invites, potential for hurt feelings), I would skip the headache and use the extra money elsewhere. You’re going to have a lot of people there who love you, why not leave the list as-is and not bump it up for the sake of it? You’ll notice and appreciate the extra money on your honeymoon, I bet.
I have to agree with everyone as well. Save it for the honeymoon!
If you do decide to invite other people, I personally think it’s just fine to invite them over the phone. This happened to me once, and the bride was really afraid she was going to offend me since I was on the “B” list. But she just explained that they needed to hear back from some people before inviting others on the list, and now that there was room she was really hoping we could make it. Being married myself, I totally understand the guest list dilemma! We happily accepted her invitation and it was great.
We originally thought we would have gone to our B-list also, as we have a very tight venue, and a HUGE family, which means the friends that were on the A-list were limited. BUT, as the process continues, it becomes clear that the A-list guests are the people that mean the most to us, and they are the ones that should share the day with us. Nothing against the next level of friends (ie. B-listers), but we have decided NOT to fill up the guest list if anyone is unable to come… intimate and meaningful is what our goal is now… oh ya, and HONEYMOON FUNDS!! Save the $$! Good luck with your decision!
Definitely the honeymoon. Your guests will enjoy the extra little bit of room and talk time with you and Mr. Joey and you can use the money for a special little treat for both of you on the honeymoon.
Don’t forget that with 70 days left until your wedding, some people who have already RSVPed “yes,” may cancel.
I would not add the extra people, I would use the money for the honeymoon, without question!
I’d go with the honeymoon as well or use that extra money for unexpected things (i.e. emergency wedding fund). You never know if they’ll be someone you forgot to tip or something that needs to be replaced last minute. But I do agree with Lindsay & St. Patrick as well. If you decide to risk the complication of it all, I’d keep in mind their advice. Hope everything works out!
honeymoon, and for contingency funds. you never know too, if suddenly some others decide to show up and you’re like, oops we’re at 150 now!
I agree with everyone else who said HONEYMOON!! Save the money and spend it on yourselves.
I agree with honeymoon. The B list is just no fun for the guest or for the hosts.
You put in time, effort, and thought into your guest list. Trust that work. Don’t worry - almost every bride comes to this dilemma (err - at least I did) and I was told not to add. Glad I listened. Trust your work, and enjoy a little extra for your honeymoon!
I agree with the honeymoon fund. We were faced with the same dilemma when less people could come than expected but we kept it as it was and it turned out to be a great call. Unless you honestly think you will look back and wish those particular people were in your photos, save the money. Weddings put people in spending/inviting mode but sometimes you just have to put on the breaks.
Stick to the guest list you have, and invite all those peeps to your after party!
If you don’t have a food minimum to meet and since it seems you are not committed to either “group” don’t add to the guest list. Save the money for the honeymoon or just in your bank account. It does not make sense to invite them for the sake of numbers.
Save the money. Relish in the fact that you’re under budget!!
We don’t have as complicated of a situation for extra guests, but if we have a few spaces left we will invite the grown children of some family friends.
We felt terrible for not inviting them in the first place, but we just couldn’t swing it with the money and the very tight space at our venue.
we’ll invite them verbally, so no trouble with extra invitations.
Agreeing with almost everyone- honeymoon! And then you can invite those groups over for a bbq or something in the months after the wedding to hang out and see your new home!
Save the money and count it as a wedding gift from you for you. 
honeymoon! i definitely understand you are feeling a bit worried about whether or not you made the right decision, but trust yourself (and your fiance) that your initial plan is okay. Honestly, 5 more people probably won’t make or break the day.
Why not donate the extra money to charity?
Honeymoon!
I am facing the same dilemma. But I have a high-priority “maybe list” of about 12 (with only 3 being SUPER high). It would be much more manageable for us to have 160-165, but ~150 would be a cinch, so we agreed if it’s under 160, we’ll invite just those 3-we kinda gave up on the other 9 ’cause if you invite 1… (They are all from my new teaching job.) I feel your pain, but people understand, & it’s better to have none, than a few from 1 place. Go on a fab honeymoon-you deserve it. Btw, how’s your “Spock” dress, (which looks FAB on your new skinnier figure? I love short wedding dresses!) Help me lose weight–I’m the only bride I know who’s gaining weight like crazy ~a month out!
PS: “Klingon-y’ not “Spock-y”-I couldn’t remember. I love the dress w/ your yellow shoes!
keep the list as it stands - 123 is alot of people already (i know by current wedding standards it doesn’t seem like it, but it really is)
enjoy the extra time that you’ll get to spend actually getting to see and talk to everyone if you don’t add more people, and also enjoy the saved money either on your honeymoon or anything else!
Wedding planning is stressful enough, don’t let the 2-7 people vacancy cause any more of it; invites, worrying if they will feel hurt that they were on the B-list, etc.
Leave the guest list as is and use the extra budget elsewhere! You have enough on your plate to worry about… thats my 2 cents! Don’t stress!
save money and put it towards the honeymoon is a great idea.
Honeymoon! These people didn’t make the initial list for a reason.
@eileen marie: Thanks. Don’t think about the weight. I just focused on getting one or two workouts in and a lot of walking. I guess it helped :).
Funny enough, someone we hadn’t heard from emailed today and said she may be coming. We might be right at 125 but there are no more guests who haven’t responded. Mr. Joey is still up in the air about the guest list. He really would like his fellow history teachers there. It’s possible a few of them will be out of town. That may help things
Honeymoon all the way!!!!!
leave the guest list - you will have a great time with those that are there. put the money to the honeymoon and enjoy the wedding day as is - you will love those that are there.
If these people weren’t important enough to be on the A list, and you would have been happy without them, save the money for your honeymoon! In fact, they might even be insultated about being invited later than everyone else.
I’m in a similar situation. Normally I’d just say to save it for the honeymoon, especially since you have 123 people, which seems like good size.
Of all the rsvp’s I’ve gotten, more than half have already told us No (Friday wedding, holiday, and OOT for most guests). We aimed for 75 people but only have 30 confirmed yes’s so far. I fear that our ballroom (max capacity = 150) would be so large for such a small party. So yes, I’ve invited some B-listers because what good is spending over a year of my life planning a party that hardly anyone attends?
Honestly, if you are still 70 days out from your wedding, you are likely to find you have last-minute expenses coming up that you did not anticipate. I would save the money, not for the honeymoon, but in anticipation of those expenses.
If they didnt make the original cut, I would just enjoy the extra money you save, it will also cut down on stress of how to invite them.
Don’t invite and save the money (for a rainy day…not your honeymoon).
I think at this point you’ve invited the people you were hoping would come, so you should just save for the ‘moon. Enjoy it! You budgeted for it!
I think you should save it for your honeymoon. Having a smaller, more intimate crowd is what I loved most about our wedding. As it is, it is so hard to spend time with everyone…and adding even more will just add to your stress!
You will be surrounded by your closest family & friends - that is what matters!
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Mrs. Joey, Seattle
Age and Occupation: 28, Project Administrator for Public Health NGO
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, High School History Teacher
Engagement Date: June 24, 2008
Wedding Date: August 2009
Venue: Eastside Catholic Chapel and Lake Union Cafe
About Me: I'm a Seattle girl through and through except for the fact that I don't drink coffee. I love my job most of the time because I get to travel and work with brilliant people who are trying to prevent Malaria. I love DIY projects of all sorts, cooking, and watching sports. I'd wear anything at Anthropologie and could spend all day on Etsy. I love to travel but shouldn't because I always get myself into unbelievable situations!
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