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Yeah, that’s right. I’ve been strutting around in the wedding blogging world like I actually have something to blog about. But in all actuality, my wedding plans are just that: plans.
I originally intended to share this post about my budget AFTER the wedding. But after much contemplation, I decided now is better than ever.
I have absolutely no clue how this wedding is going to come together by November given our VERY limited budget.
When we first got engaged, we knew we’d want to keep the budget tight because we don’t feel like it’s necessary to spend tons to have an amazing wedding. However, as we started planning, we realized that we would still need to have at least $12,000 just to pull off a decent Savannah destination wedding for 75 guests, and that was PUSHING it. I mean, that’s $15,000 UNDER the national average cost of a wedding.
So I got to work trying to figure out where this money would come from. We asked our parents if they would be willing to split the costs up evenly among all three parties instead of the traditional “bride’s side pays for this, groom’s side pays for that” mentality. Both of us have single mothers (my FMIL just paid for FSIL’s December 2007 wedding, and Mama Lab has been sucked dry by the economy and some of my siblings who don’t want to grow up). This option was the fairest way to go about it for everyone. After discussing the budget with the ’rents, it was agreed: both moms and the couple (and by couple, I really mean just me, since Mr. Lab bought my ring) would contribute around $4,000 each.
Thing is, I think the only one who may hold up their end of the deal is FMIL Lab. She’s already taking care of the entire rehearsal dinner and the open bar at the reception. My poor mom (no pun intended) keeps running into financial setbacks so she has yet to be able to contribute any money in our nearly 6 months of engagement. As for my part? Well…
It’s even worse now because of my summer internships. Because I’m working at a news station, my hours are long and all over the place, which means there’s no time for even a part-time job. So the money I had originally planned to save over the summer is now non-existent. I’ve already spent about $3,000 on securing our ceremony & reception venues, a photographer, caterer, and save the dates (which arrived yesterday! Yay!). So I’ve just about contributed my share. BUT, that money came mostly from leftover student loans. I know you fiscally responsible ones out there are cringing at the thought of using a student loan for a wedding, but it’s one of my only options, since I already live paycheck to paycheck. It would take at least another 5 years before Mr. Lab and I could pay for a wedding out of our own pockets, so we figured low-interest, subsidized loans were a better way to go compared to credit cards. I tried to pick up as many hours at work before leaving for the summer, but it’s all going towards living expenses instead of wedding stuff now.
I fear that if my mom won’t be able to start helping soon, I’ll be forced to use another student loan to help pay for her part. And if that happens, I won’t have too much to blog about, because I won’t get that money until nearly September. And that’s nerve-racking because it’ll cut out 3 months of planning, creating, and reserving stuff for the wedding. If you’ve noticed, I’ve blogged about a lot of PLANS and not about actual purchases as it is already.
In anticipation of not having enough money as originally planned, I’ve been spending a lot of time finding ways to cut expenses. Here are some of the ways I’m doing this:
I’m sure I’ll find more ways to “trim the fat” off the budget along the way and still have a lovely wedding. I mean, check out these beauts that were all under $10K! But there are some things I don’t want to compromise on (like our venues).
In the meantime, I’m reminding myself to stay grateful for the fact that I’m even having a wedding. I know a lot of people out there are wishing upon shooting stars that they could have even $5K, let alone $12K for a wedding! Or the people out there who aren’t even able to have a wedding because of laws or war or any other number of factors.
I guess the rainy day and the fact that I haven’t seen Mr. Lab for a week now is aiding my pity party. I just hope this funk doesn’t last too long…
Is your wedding budget or money woes giving you the blues?
Double check the buffet costs before you go that route! I know most venues/vendors will charge less for a dinner buffet, but I was unpleasantly surprised to find that a few of the places I’ve looked into definitely charge more for a buffet than a plated meal.
Otherwise it looks like you’re making the best of a tight situation! I think even if I had as much as the national average to spend, I’d probably still have the same “this wedding would be different if I had money!” mentality.
definitely check the buffet costs versus seated dinner. We thought that buffet would be cheaper and were surprised to learn it’s not. Seated dinners tend to be cheaper because the caterers actually need to provide less food - everyone gets the same thing and same quantity whereas with buffet always have to have extras and never know what is going to be a big favorite and what no one will eat.
I just wanted to thank you for writing this. I’ve felt guilty for a long time about using student loan money for wedding costs, but it feels so good to know I’m not alone. I feared being judged but it’s hard when parents can’t/don’t contribute (FI’s parents contributed about $1200, my dad the same. My mom and stepdad also can’t afford to help, even though I know she would love to). FI’s whole paycheck goes towards our bills/living expenses, so there’s not much left over. Sorry for the lengthly post, but it means a lot that you wrote this. Thanks again!
You’re doing the best you can with what you have. That’s all you can do.
Our parents agreed to split the venue with included the ceremony site, officiant, linens, food, DJ, flowers (otherwise I would have gone the silk route also) and wedding cake. FMIL is getting a friend to do the groom’s cake and his FFIL is supposed to take care of the alcohol but that has yet to be discussed again. I am afraid we will get stuck footing the bill. That leaves us with my dress, stationary, rings, photographer and honeymoon. I know it doesn’t sound like a lot, but with my fiance’s hours getting cut down to 40 (he used to get no less than 15 hours overtime a week) and his quarterly bonuses coming to a halt it has made it MUCH more difficult.
I totally understand the tight budget. Both my wedding and my sister’s wedding (which I’m currently planning) have budgets of $3000. We are in Kansas so it’s a little cheaper but it’s possible. It just takes a lot of work.
It’s all in the details! No one knew that my wedding was only $3000. Everyone thought is was more and was shocked when I revealed the budget.
Your wedding will be beatiful!
Oh, how I love that you wrote this post. Not that anyone’s happy about anyone not having an escalated amount of wedding fundage available. We started out estimating that our wedding would cost somewhere between 12 and 15k, now it’s somewhere between 18 and 20k. Ouch. We are trying our darndest to walk away from this wedding not owning a penny, and we haven’t figured out yet how to do this. 
I feel your pain!!
If you’re looking for an up and coming photographer in the area, please look no further than a SCAD student photographer.
Post a listing through here: http://www.scad.edu/about/career-services/for-employers.cfm
It’s a win-win situation: you get a cheap professional photographer and they get experience/portfolio work.
Coming from SCAD myself (graduation ‘09!) and that I’m using a student photographer for my October wedding- I really hope you support a fellow student!
Good luck!
It’s a tough situation. It’s so hard to balance the desire to have a nice wedding and the desire to stay within a range that you can afford. I would probably have said for you to wait to get married until you are more stable, but that obviously isn’t an option right now. (but is definitly an options for others who made read this post and are not too far into wedding planning).
The economy has made us all question what our true needs are. If having a $12,000 wedding this year is one of your needs than I say do what you can to get everything you want within this price range. What you have done so far sounds great in terms of savings. I caution you though to be careful and not spend money on things that do not matter. Sit down and think about each and every purchase and consider whether it is something you and your FI actually want or whether you want it because everyone else will expect you to have it. In the long run the only things that people will remember about your wedding was the overall feel of the day. They will not remember your save-the-dates, your flowers, your favors, table cloths, or anything else. They will only remember a ceremoney which represented you as a couple and joyful reception where everyone left with a smile. As long as you have these two things you don’t need anything else.
I wish you luck with keeping on the savings path!
If it’s possible, you might want to consider having “heavy appetizers” instead of a buffet or plated meal. I had never considered this option until we were reserving our venue, and we were told the majority of their couples went that route. Caterers can arrange different stations, guests can mingle, and it’s a cheaper option. I was worried guests would leave hungry, but have since talked to many couples who have attended weddings like this, and they said that’s never been an issue.
IMHO, if I were you instead of using student loans/believing your mother is going to come up with the money- I would go into overhaul and change your wedding plans to better accommodate your budget. The problem with America is that we over extend ourselves, this would be a great time to start living within your means.
thanks for writing such an honest post!
IMO do not start your married life in more debt than is necessary. As others have said, truly evaluate if you really need everything that the wedding industry leads you to believe. Your projected $9000 savings isn’t really savings if you can’t afford it.
Invitations - Postcards from vistaprint are often on sale or free and come with envelopes for free or cheap (or just send as a postcard for cheaper postage). RSVP by phone and/or a wedding website to eliminate the need for RSVP cards.
Food - buffet is not always cheaper. My venue charges the same per person for buffet or seated dinner. Heavy hor’deourves or afternoon “tea” would save a lot.
Centerpieces - if your venue is pretty, maybe just use a votive candle. But for silks, there are tons of vases at goodwill for $1 or so.
Candy jars - I can’t justify paying for a candy buffet with student loan money.
Mood lighting? If you mean anything other than dimming the lights then that sounds expensive.
Good luck, but if I were you I would seriously reconsider having a $12000 wedding. I’ve been to several $2-$3000 wonderful weddings and the couples were more than happy to have the money to reduce student loan debts. Are you paying attention to the economy and the unemployment rates? What will you do if you can’t get a job after college?
This is the exact thing thats happening to me right now. Hence why 6 months into the engagement I still have no contract despite having found a venue I like. They say that the budget controls the direction of your wedding planning in terms of size and major expenditures, but really I don’t know how much we’ll have and how much our families will contribute. I don’t even know if my in-laws will be contributing. I think its probably the source of all my wedding stress. I guess its good to know I’m not alone on unsure plans of paying for the wedding. Thanks
I wanted to quickly clarify something about the student loan issue. I completely agree with those of you who are mentioning the economy and not living past your means. I should have included that next March I will be receiving almost a $5000 GDCP check from my current job. It’s kind of like a mandatory savings program for part-time workers at my university. This will be used to pay off the student loan immediately. My loan has a locked in low rate, so really, this is a very affordable short-term loan. I definitely wouldn’t take out a loan that I couldn’t pay back! I already entered into contracts and paid non-refundable deposits with the vendors I already have before finding out that my mom may not be able to pay her part. Therefore, I’m sort of stuck in that regard and am now moving forward trying to save in other ways to make up for it!
Fewer, larger tables (tables for 10-12) instead of 8 will mean less linen rental and less centerpieces needed….and selling your dress after the wedding will help recoup some costs.
It sounds like you’re doing great so far with the savings!
Have you looking into getting {fresh} flowers at a local grocery store or Costco? It may end up being less than fake stems! You couls also use potted plants as decor and/or centerpieces which could then double as favors or thank-yous for the moms!
We’re trying to buy a house this summer, and I’m 90% self-employed with only a small part-time job to assist with the bills, so I totally feel where you’re coming from re: wedding budget!
Anyways this is just my two cents about the situation and I guess everyone deals with money and their wedding in different manners. This is just how we have dealt with ours.
No blues here since…
I worked A LOT of hours and days at my serving job last year to put towards the wedding before I quit my job to go to school full time. I haven’t taken out any school loans either (thank God) because we have actually “cut the fat” in other parts of our lives.
The changes you make as part of your daily routine actually do add up. Sit down and seriously look at all the expenses you have and try to figure out a plan on what you can cut out.
We have made a lot of sacrifices since we are living off one income but after the wedding will still have enough money for an emergency fund.
We are also paying for about 99% of it ourselves with the 1% help from my cousin (he volunteered).
Good luck to everyone and their budgets. It does look like you have made significant sacrifices for the wedding though. : )
I realize you’re locked into some contracts, but maybe you can cut costs in other areas that are still flexible. I would seriously consider spending an absolute minimum on centerpeices. I spent less than $2, and I don’t think anyone cared one bit. They are really just not an important aspect of the wedding, especially when you’re trying to save. The same goes for invitations. I think that we sometimes get carried away trying to be “creative” and come up with ideas that have so many components that they end up costing more. Every lantern, every flower, every piece of paper will cost you. A lot of brides try to sell their centerpiece “kits” after the wedding. Maybe there are some out there that will meet your needs. I spent about 12k on my wedding for 180 people. Best of luck to you!
It’s strange you said your student loan is at a new low rate with the current economic climate, when companies are lending less and student loans are harder to come by.
Thank you so much for this post, and for your honesty! I would love to hear your money-saving updates as your planning progresses. Whatever happened to the “Real Budgets” feature on weddingbee anyways?
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Mrs. Labrador Retriever, Athens/Savannah Age and Occupation: 24, Student/Sports Reporter Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Physical Therapy Assistant Student/Future Dr. of PT Engagement Date: December 31, 2008 Wedding Date: November 2009 Venue: Whitfield Square/Savannah Station About Me: I'm working on my second degree from UGA (Go Dawgs!). I'm a self-proclaimed attention-w****. If it involves a camera, I'm in front of it! You'll never meet a girlier tomboy than me. I can go toe to toe with any guy on the subject of college football, and lift more than any girl in my gym, all without chipping a nail. I hope to someday be the only person you want delivering your sports news. My FI and I are the loving parents of three Labrador Retrievers (one of each color) and are planning a "Southern Romantic Charm" wedding in the beautiful, historic city of Savannah. I'm not extreme in anything except moderation... and wedding planning.
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