Wedding Blog
Sometimes with wedding planning I become uneasy due to the cross Atlantic divide. There are certain cultural traditions that are different, and some are even flip-flopped. One of the expat bloggers I read frequently has been dealing with the processional. In the UK, the bride goes first, whereas in the US, the bride goes last. This poor blogger has been dealing with reactions from the church such as, “Flower girls? what and why would you want one?”, “But the bride goes first!”, “This is the music we use.” So naturally, I’m left wondering - will all the UK guests be confused by our backwards, possibly hat-less, US wedding freak show?
After Miss Perfume’s petal post I was pretty much cemented to the idea of using petals. When I showed the post to Mr. D, I was a bit worried he might find it strange. I mean really, what is the purpose of throwing things at the bride and groom? So I was a bit surprised when Mr. D said, “Oh, that’s normal, people always forget to bring their own confetti.”
BYOC? Bring your own confetti?
Apparently, it’s not out of the norm for guests to come prepared to shower the newlyweds. Luckily for our guests, we’ll be providing rose petals, as confetti isn’t as welcome at our venue. Since we aren’t planning on having a grand exit at the end of the evening, and there is no church to exit from, we are considering having the petal toss as we recede down the aisle.
Has your fiance surprised you with his reactions to your ideas? What are some cultural traditions that you’re worried that your guests won’t “get”?
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Bring your own confetti? That’s awesome!!! I’m glad that Mr. D saw your supplying rose petals as a nice back up plan for people who “forget to bring their own”!!!! I love it!
Yes! BYOC! My sister-in-law was floored when she exited the church (she and my brother were married in Ireland) and guests began dumping confetti on her and her groom. It did add something to the photos though– total shock!
This is funny! It is the same in France, bride goes first, no flower girls, no bridesmaid (but two witnesses) and people bring their own rice! I feel like you, afraid that our american guests will be lost and find our wedding weird, but then I remember they are our friends and family, they already know I am a bit weird 
what? why is this funny??? Of course you bring your own confetti. I’m English, I had no idea this was an English thing!!?
Heehee… I’m American and my hubby is a Brit, as well, and yes…. I ran into the same type of comments from his side of the family! So funny. They love their confetti… seriously, watch out when you’re opening cards or gifts at home, the confetti just comes flying out. We got married in California, and I felt bad because I think his mom felt naked without a hat at the ceremony! =) But she was used to the concept of flower girls, (don’t they call them mini-brides?) and a wedding party.
Truely awesome, I’m bringing my own confetti with me everywhere from now on.
BYOC! That is awesome and would save me some money on the petal toss 
We don’t have any traditions I’m afraid ppl wont get but Mr Frenchie was reluctant to have birds on our cake. Once he saw them however he changed his mind
that seems so strange! I would have never thought anyone would BYOC!
How fun! I’ve definitely never seen anyone bring their own confetti to a wedding before.
My fiance and I are somewhat of an interfaith couple - he’s Greek Orthodox, my family are Protestants. Since we’re having a Methodist minister marry us, I made sure to detail the different parts of the ceremony in our programs. I think some of them are still balking at the idea of us getting married outside of the Orthodox Church.
I’m more concerned about this potential lack of hats!
here in Italy everybody comes well preapared with their own rice. the more the better. Actually the rice toss is a highlight of any wedding! Oh and flower girls and wedding parties just don’t exist..
That is hilarious. I have never heard of people bringing their own confetti to toss at the bride and groom. I like the rose petals better though.
Ho ho, how hilarious, those dumb Brits actually taking something to a wedding to celebrate the marriage with. Next thing you know they’ll be taking cards or gifts.
I think it’s weirder to provide confetti to guests at your wedding - it’s like saying “please use these to congratulate us with”.
That hilarious! I think the next time I go to a wedding, maybe I’ll bring my own confetti! Just a thought for the aisle petal toss, you need to tell a lot of people ahead of time. We provided petals in little satchets and told a few people, but the actual kiss, applaude, exit was so smooth, no one thought about the petals! We used them when we left the reception later because people were standing around with bags of petals wondering why they still had them - oops!
Wow, lou. Relax.
This is neat–I guess since the churches here in the US seem to all have such different rules about tossing stuff I never considered that some countries/cultures would be BYOC. ^_^ Note to self, if ever invited to a wedding overseas, bring confetti.
@ChewyJ: I know! I had to clean up a fair amount of confetti around christmas, they got me goooood.
@lou: I’m sorry Lou, it wasn’t my intent to be offensive. In fact, if you re-read my post you’ll see that I was concerned about my (US) tradition being perceived as odd. Since I’d never heard of BYOC I thought I’d share it with the hive.
I should probably also write about the speech sweepstakes/betting at some point, I hadn’t seen or heard of it at a US wedding yet either.
I havent had cultural surprises yet, but we’ve had plenty of familial surprises… my FI’s family has different traditions and ways of doing things than what is expected in my family during a wedding. This drives both sets of parents up a wall - and that definitely trickles down and becomes annoying for the both of us.
LOL! At my friends wedding last year, someone brought a confetti CANNON with them! (I kid you not, available in all good UK card and wedding shops I’m sure…), Until I found Weddingbee I had never thought about the differences between UK and US weddings, now I am obsessing over every detail.
I love the “Bride comes down the aisle last” idea, and would definately campaign my minister to allow that, but I can’t even contemplate a wedding without HATS! 
This is so funny! I’m British and would always take confetti to a wedding. Just like I would always wear a hat. I love cultural differences!
I got married to a Mexican n Mexico. Mexicans have bridesmaids but not groomsmen (which always looks lopsided to me)! People thought it was pretty weird that we had groomsmen (we even invented a word for them .. we called them our “damos” because the maids are “damas”) and I think people found it a bit weird that they all had matching outfits, too. My husband bought them their outfits and was like, gringos do it this way, so please wear this for the wedding OK? haha. Also, cutting the cake and feeding each other was a complete novelty for them. And escort cards… people did not get it — many sat wherever they wanted. But I didn’t care! I was having a great time.
That’s so funny! I wish people were bringing their own confetti to my wedding! I didn’t know about the hat thing either. I think that’s fun. I do know that in the US there are some north & south differences. Southerners would find a “dollar dance” completely inappropriate (I wish they didn’t!) and we do bridal portraits before the wedding (not always), and it’s displayed at the reception and later in the bride’s parent’s home (and in the newspapers to announce the wedding the next day).
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Mrs. D'orsay, Baltimore/Lancaster UK
Age and Occupation: 24, Stay at home fiance (formerly in nonprofit communications)
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Web site developer and designer; co-owner of men's skincare shop
Engagement Date: August 10, 2008
Wedding Date: August, 2009
Venue: Oakland Manor
About Me: I'm a Maryland raised environmental policy wonk/activist/organizer and communications aficionado. In the past year I've lived in Baltimore, MD, Tucson, AZ, Miami, FL and Lancaster, England. In my not so spare time I enjoy planning trips with Mr. D' Orsay, visiting friends and family and crafting like a mo-fo. I also enjoy modern dance classes, rugby and soccer but have been banned by my mother, MOHs, and Mr. D' Orsay from playing till after the wedding. I have an unnatural addiction to cheese and shoes, but love Mr. D' Orsay more than either and can't wait to become Mrs. D' Orsay!
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