Oh Dear&#8230;

Oh Dear…

May 27th, 2009 @ 12:57 pm by Mrs. Bear Cub
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When grad students get married, the whole “planning process” is taken to a new level:

Oh Dear... : wedding humor Phd013009s phd013009s

PHDComics saw me through many a bored/stressed afternoon at the office in grad school. I hope Jorge Cham continues this story arc for a while! There’s so much to deal with planning a wedding, not to mention planning a wedding in grad school.

It’s not so awful for science majors - they (and I) typically get a stipend just above the poverty line. It’s an interesting fine line between crappy food and unwillingness (call it laziness?) to get a job in addition to school. Humanities majors, on the other hand, (from what I know) don’t get a stipend. I can’t imagine going into major debt for school and even more debt for a wedding all at the same time!! I consider myself very lucky to have gotten a sweet job just as we started planning our own wedding.

I love how PHDComics is so droll with the grad school experience - I’m beginning to see similarities with the WIC (Wedding Industrial Complex) experience! Plus, leave it to a grad student to inject their research into the wed-planning process à la Tajel’s MOH.

If you’re planning your wedding while you (and maybe your fiancé also!) are in grad school, what are some ways you’ve found to cope with the stress of the two at once?? As with PHDComics, have you found ways to make light of the situation? (Even if at times sardonic - believe me, I understand! )

P.S.- Click the Emergency Button at PHDComics!! GENIUS!!!

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29 Responses to “Oh Dear…”

1 2 Last

Hostess

Mrs. DG (message) 8,491 posts, Bee Keeper

I’m a fellow, but still taking classes (Qualitative methods this quarter). It’s amazing to me that I can switch from multivariate adjusted linear regressions to centerpieces in mere seconds. Too bad that centerpieces are WAY more fun!

5/27/09 @ 1:05 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss French Bulldog (message) 7,730 posts, Bee Keeper

You’re right the Emergency button is GENIUS!

5/27/09 @ 1:17 pm (reply)

Guest

emel

Oh, Miss Bear cup;

I am in the grad school doing my Ph.d . and I LOVVEEEEEE Ph.d comics TOO!!
In terms of wedding planning, I solve my problem with doing my wedding in my country. In my country there is not so much details. just find a place some food and some music everbody will be happy. so I will go to my country in one month in advance and arrange everything. But here is VERY hard, they really put too much stress on the brides shoulder. and wedding industry is growing like crazy and charge too much money, and it does not even worth it. If people coming to your wedding are real friends they will not mind eating Ramens =)). I would say just dont get into planning so much and keep it simple.
hope that helps

5/27/09 @ 1:20 pm (reply)

Hostess

Mrs. DG (message) 8,491 posts, Bee Keeper

Oh my god! The emergency button is perfect!

5/27/09 @ 1:32 pm (reply)

Member

K610 (message) 177 posts, Blushing bee

I’m actually still in undergrad - but this summer I’ll be splitting time between wedding planning and studying for LSATs. I have a feeling that the wedding is going to be much more fun!

5/27/09 @ 1:41 pm (reply)

Member

ke3 (message) 255 posts, Helper bee

Wedding planning is my break from thoughts about school & getting work done. I also love PhD comics! I mostly just try not to stress about wedding planning. I think no matter what it will be a beautiful & fun day for you two!

5/27/09 @ 1:50 pm (reply)

Member

Mojito (message) 341 posts, Helper bee

I agree with ke3: Wedding planning is my downtime from grad school & my full-time job. My FI is also in grad school & working full-time, so we really appreciate any bit of downtime we can find!

Tackling and conquering items on my Wedding to-do list helps with the stress factor since it’s fun and it’s easier to feel productive (vs reading five chapters of my business law textbook)!

5/27/09 @ 1:59 pm (reply)

Member

lit_geek26 (message) 138 posts, Blushing bee

Starting my PhD in the fall! I’m in the Humanities (English) and do, luckily, get a stipend, although I will certainly not be leading a P.Diddy lifestyle on it.

To cope, we’re trying to get as much done as possible this summer, before the grad school frenzy takes over!

5/27/09 @ 2:43 pm (reply)

Guest

Cheryl

I’m an atmospheric chemistry PhD student… I turn to my wedding planning when I need to feel like I can make something work lol when I’ve had a rough day/week in the lab, its a stress reliever to design my wedding invites, where the toughest decision is font size and alignment. And I have an awesome Excel spreadsheet set up

PhD comics is the best!

5/27/09 @ 2:44 pm (reply)

10.

Member

lreighard1 (message) 642 posts, Busy bee

Le sigh — I’m so happy I graduated! Let the full time wedding planning begin!!

5/27/09 @ 2:52 pm (reply)

11.

Member

cfitz621 (message) 169 posts, Blushing bee

I’m in a counseling doc program and he’s starting an eMBA program this fall. Awesome. His school meets every other weekend (umm, what wedding planning?!?) and mine meets at night, after my full time job.

We’re assuming that we’ll see each other again on the honeymoon (which has to be postponed because of, you guessed it, grad school).

5/27/09 @ 3:08 pm (reply)

12.

Member

mechiebaby (message) 376 posts, Helper bee

I LOVE PhD comics! As an engineering grad student I get a tiny stipend, but am forbidden from getting another job (its in my contract). Weddingbee and PhD are welcome distractions to my day… just don’t get started on the 200 most popular comics or you’ll never get any work done

5/27/09 @ 3:08 pm (reply)

13.

Bee

Mrs. Hot Cocoa (message) 2,077 posts, Buzzing bee

LOL. If only my wedding could be my dissertation, I’d be published and graduated already! Some humanities PhDs get stipends . . . though once you’re in the teaching stage, those stipends get replaced by even less generous “salaries.” I can afford to have a fancy meal of ramen noodles every day.

5/27/09 @ 3:19 pm (reply)

14.

Member

chiBride2Be (message) 13 posts, Newbee

oh boy. this describes me. the spreadsheet was the first thing I did!

I think grad school helps keep the wedding planning in perspective - I do what I have time to do, and try not to worry too much about whether there is something else better out there, but just make a decision, and move on.

but what am I saying? I am home trying to prepare for a committee meeting and reading weddingbee instead…. I’m calling it a “lunch break”. lol.

5/27/09 @ 4:05 pm (reply)

15.

Member

saraplusmike (message) 17 posts, Newbee

Unfortunately, I’m using wedding planning as a way to procrastinate from writing my thesis.

5/27/09 @ 4:53 pm (reply)

16.

Guest

Andrea

I’m a science grad student too! And so is my fiance! And I haven’t really figured out a good way to balance the two yet. I just stop planning the wedding when things get bad at school. Which has happened a lot this year (my 3rd year of the Phd program) because of oral qualifying exams, presentations, and thesis committee meetings. I guess sometimes wedding planning is a way to do something fun outside of research and school. But other times it is such a bad addition to my already stressed-out life, especially when family members intervene and argue about the way things are done. Overall it will be nice when the wedding is done and I can go back to school work. Then I may continue to do wedding stuff on the side for fun, but it will be more like “crafting” for other people and maybe even for an etsy shop that I create. it will be more of a hobby instead of an obsession and a worry.

I also love PhD comics. And this one is particularly funny because the first thing I did was create a spreadsheet for everything related to the wedding. I have sheets for vendors, sheets for actual costs already spent, sheets for projected costs, sheets for guests and their addresses, etc. I’m quite anal about all of it. It’s the scientist in me!

5/27/09 @ 5:43 pm (reply)

17.

Member

penguins_713 (message) 29 posts, Newbee

I’m a Neuroscience grad student graduating this week, starting a postdoc in July, and getting married in September. Needless to say, it’s an insane time. I find that the earlier I start on projects, whether for the lab or for the wedding, the less stressed I feel. The wedding also gives me a creative outlet for diy crafts in the midst of my very quantitative, sciencey (is that a word) life, so I’ve really enjoyed planning so far!

5/27/09 @ 6:04 pm (reply)

18.

Member

azula (message) 555 posts, Busy bee

I *looooooove* PhD Comics. I’ve been reading them since before I started grad school and they are so great for boosting your spirits! I have the first three books too, and I’ve been meaning to order the fourth one but I keep procrastinating it My favorite characters are Cecilia, Slackernerry and the Nameless Grad Student (poor guy!).

And even though I’ve been reading them since FOREVER, I did NOT know about the Emergency Button!! ZOMG! Well, it’s probably because I get the comics on my RSS reader and I rarely ever go to the website… I should go there more often!

5/27/09 @ 6:06 pm (reply)

19.

Member

melissaofMandMWedding (message) 50 posts, Worker bee

I am also a grad student but am not so sure I handled planning a wedding and making progress towards my degree that well. I got married last month and am struggling with playing catch up. Reading wedding blogs, writing my own, completing DIY projects, and pulling together 3 separate wedding event was a great stress release from grad school - maybe too great. I probably invested more time in wedding planning than grad school. My advice is to not have the wedding during a busy grad semester - I did mine while also trying to finish 2 book chapters, grant proposals, and several conferences. In hindsight we should have waited until the end of the summer.

5/27/09 @ 7:32 pm (reply)

20.

Guest

Christy

Wow…. I don’t know how I missed that! I’m a teacher, who finished my master’s last summer while working full time and working on wedding planning…. and trust me, teaching at a Catholic school, the poverty line is WAY over my head! I made sure to keep the wedding planning FUN!

5/27/09 @ 8:57 pm (reply)

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