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Captain Hook: You, the cute little urchin in the front row, won’t you share your thoughts with the whole class?
Maggie: Yes, I said mommy reads to us every night, because she loves us very much.
Captain Hook: Loves you? Isn’t that the, uh, the…
Smee: The L word, Captain.
Captain Hook: Ooh, yes. No, child, your mother wants to read to you every night in order to stupefy to sleep, so that she and daddy could sit down for three measly minutes without you. And your mindless, inexhaustible, unstoppable, repetitive, and nagging demands: He took my toy! She hit my bear! I want a party! I want a cookie! I want to stay up! I want, I want, I want, me, me, me, me, mine, mine, mine, mine, now, now, now!
So maybe the whole story doesn’t relate, but the “I want, I want, I want, me, me, me, mine, mine, mine, now, now, now” seems to be uttered quite a bit lately, and I think Mr. Gloss may have some opinions about the “inexhaustible, unstoppable, repetitive and nagging demands”. 
I thought about recent conversations I’ve had with my parents and Mr. Gloss about the wedding, and everything is, “We don’t need… but I want!!”
What happened to me? I used to be so logical and calculated with my money and purchases.
We don’t need a ring pillow since we don’t have a ring bearer, but I want one of these so we can hang it on our Christmas tree.
We don’t need rehearsal dinner invitations since we are only inviting the wedding party +1, but I want to make them!
We don’t need monogrammed hand towels in the bathroom since people are just going to wipe their hands on them, but I want to have them.
We don’t need super thick invitations that will cost more to mail because they are ‘not machinable’, but I want them!
We don’t need to spend hours online trying to find rope for the guys’ bouts, but I want the perfect color.
We [I] don’t need to buy another dress for the rehearsal dinner, but I want a new one.
We don’t need to have 3 wedding cakes, but I want a certain look.
We [I] don’t need more diamonds on my wedding band, but I want more so there aren’t 13.
We don’t need china at this point in our lives, but I want to have it for the future.
We don’t need a Kate Spade serving set, but I want to be able to cut our cake with it.
And the list goes on…
When did I get so selfish? This is not ‘my’ day, it’s our day. I don’t even want it to be all about me; in fact, I hate being the center of attention.
Please tell me I’m not the only one who has used the wedding as an excuse to buy things.
Is there anything you ‘don’t need’ but must have for your big day?
yes yes yes! and the worst part of it is, I keep finding myself wanting pretty things that we don’t need for our casual backyard wedding. Thats the worst part. I told his parents I want us to buy a gazebo for goodness sakes. it’s just silly! there’s no NEED for any of it. Or the fact that I fell in love with a seriously beaded lacey dress with a freaking train. for our HOT TEXAS BACKYARD wedding. it’s SILLLLLY, but for some reason I just want it anyways. When it comes down to it, we will compromise, it’s just that we get caught up in all the hooplah.
As much as I want to have a simple beach wedding, I can’t help but keep tacking on wonderful DIY projects.
If we could afford it, I would throw a party every year to display all of my ideas. But for now, I’ll just settle for WANTING a lot.
I don’t really NEED anything but an officiant and the license…but I really WANT a little bit of celebration and tradition, darn it!
Actually I’m the opposite. The wedding has brought out the more frugal aspects of my personality. We live in NYC which is insanely overpriced and we’re paying for our wedding so my thinking about most things is “nope, we can’t afford it”. Maybe it’s selfish of me to think, I’d rather put the money towards a nice dinner on our honeymoon rather than favors for our guests. Maybe it’s an age thing…I’m 29 and have been to enough weddings to realize that people don’t really care/need favors, or a candy bar, or programs on expensive/ fancy paper. I’m not knocking those things at all, but it’s just not important enough to me to spend the money on and truthfully, I don’t think anyone will miss them. And as other brides have pointed out, the WIC convinces you that you NEED these things in order to have a fun, memorable event which is simply not true!
Yes yes yes. I try to reign myself in, but at the end of the day I do need need need want want want.
LOL! My sister and I quote that last line from Hook all the time!
Oh Hook! I loved that movie when I was a kid!
Yes, wedding planning has been exactly like that for me. The hardest part is saying “no” to my future in laws who are offering to pitch in for the wedding. It’s so sweet of them to offer, but their own daughter got married in 2007 for less than $5,000, so I dont’ feel right accepting their money when I’m being given that amount by my parents for our wedding!
The thing is, being “realistic” and looking at it logically - do you need anything for the wedding? No. All you need is a marriage license and someone authorized to perform marriages. That is why this is so hard - you have to find a balance of what you want vs. what you can spend.
No, thankfully it’s quite unlike me to react in this manner. I think it’s necessary for all brides, whether susceptible to the “i want i want i want” mentality or not, to take a breather sometimes and seriously think about what matters.
i think if i had given in to every “i want” on a whim, we’d be 300% over budget 
i dont need more pretty pens, but they help with addressing the envelopes. great post! 
Sounds like you’re giving yourself a reality check! Way to go! I think all brides are susceptible to this pattern but the trick is to call bulls*t on yourself every once in a while and figure out WHY you want the thing you want. Some “wants” make a lot of sense, and will contribute to your overall sanity and happiness, some would have been great but don’t work out for practical reasons, and others are just plain foolish. Only you can decide which ones fall in which category so good luck!
I think I’ve been the opposite. I keep trying to find things to get rid of. Do we really need a photographer? Do we really need to serve dessert? Do we really need to have a wedding/ Can’t we just elope? Haha.
But I think it’s just because I’m so over the planning process. Anyway, you should just do whatever fits in your budget. You don’t want to get back from your honeymoon and realize you have no money!
::::hanging head in shame::::::
guility as charged.
We’re in just the beginning stages of planning but I’m obsessed with all the “little” touches. I call them the details but they’re really just stuff!
I’ve somehow been the opposite! Wedding planning has brought out an incredibly frugal and practical side of me. But I think it’s because marriage itself is making me really think long and hard about spending habits and our future - whereas before I was a little more wasteful.
I am sure we are all guilty of using our wedding as an excuseto buy things we WANT and not need. so far i’ve bought a paper cutter, embosser, stamping block, CUTTLEBUG (most expensive tool so far even with my 40% off coupon!). These are all things I have looked at but never would have bought if it weren’t for the wedding. Plus, we are also painting probably the entire house when its all said and done and getting a new tub and toilet in the guest bathroom. The funny thing is…if anyone stays with us from out of town it will be the same friends that stay with us every time they come to Houston and don’t care about these things. But we HAVE to do it. Just in case. 
I have justified many purchases with “the wedding” when I definitely shouldn’t have. My fiance is the frugal one and he’s been very patient with me. Most recently I bought him a pair of Green Bay Packer cufflinks to make up for (in my mind) the fact that I spent $105 for an embroidered silk clutch shipped over from the U.K. How many times have you said “But we’re only going to do this once?” I have said this waaay too many times in the planning process.
Oh yes. I’m with you…I’m usually very thoughtful and frugal. But the monster has taken over my body. Strictly speaking, we don’t NEED anything but a $40 marriage license and a minister. But what fun would that be? At least I’m paying for most of it myself, so I don’t have to feel guilty about being frivolous with someone else’s money!
I had one of these moments earlier this week, and I had to just step away from the computer. Seriously..
Actually, I’m the opposite. I have always said that the wedding is just one day. I would rather spend money on an amazing honeymoon or a down payment on a house.
So, we are trying to cut down on items that aren’t necessary. Needless to say, we will not be having a Martha Stewart wedding. Currently we are even $5000 UNDER budget- how many brides can say that???
I think that the wedding industry sucks you into thinking that you DO need these things, when really? What are you going to do with them the next day?
JMO.
I am exactly the same way…I never was someone who thought a wedding was that big of a deal…but the details sucker you in.
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Mrs. Gloss, Boston/Maine Age and Occupation: 24, Designer/soon-to-be Architect Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Systems Engineer Engagement Date: May 23, 2008 Wedding Date: August 2009 Venue: SS Katahdin/Lakeside Tent About Me: I don't like nickels or the skin that forms on pudding when it's in the fridge for too long. I couldn't live without Pantone markers, fountain soda (3/4 diet, ¼ regular Coke), run-on sentences, or ridiculously oversized sunglasses. I will try to DIY almost anything and am just OCD enough to make most of it work. I am truly excited about having all my family and friends together, becoming Mrs. Gloss, and having amazing photos to prove it!
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