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The French Bulldog invitations are off to the printers… YAY! But before we could send them out we had to answer the tricky question of when to start the ceremony, and more importantly, what to put on the invitations. If you’re reading this thinking, ‘Um Frenchie, shouldn’t they be the same time?’ I envy you for your punctual friends and family.
Papa Frenchie and I are always waiting downstairs for my Mama Frenchie and Sister Frenchie to be ready. I had a friend in high school who we’d tell something started at least an hour before it actually did, in hopes of her being on time. Although none of my current friends are that bad, I’d prefer that people don’t have to sneak in in the middle of our ceremony, or miss it entirely.
There is also the matter of traffic. The majority of our guests will most likely be driving 65 miles from Orange County to Rancho Bernardo, which, according to Google Maps, takes a little over an hour. But, that is with no traffic.
So, what is our solution? We lied. Our invitation says that our ceremony will begin @3:30 (just like the website and the map), but we’re really going to begin at 4. Annie, the winery’s coordinator, suggested placing a sign at the entrance to the pavilion that says something like:
What have you done to ensure that your guests get to your ceremony on time?
We had to do the same thing because my family is notorious for being late. The invites say 4pm but it will really start on or around 4:30pm.
love the idea! we are having a 30 min cocktail time before the ceremony to ensure that everyone is ready for the ceremony on time (including us!) on our invite it says “cocktails prior to ceremony at 5:00, ceremony begins at 5:30″ let’s hope it works!
Ha! Oh man. We’re not fibbing the ceremony time, because there are three in a row, and we’re the middle one, so I can’t worry too much if people are late — since we won’t be able to hold off for their benefit. But, I think it’s too funny that you have a plan, and that this is it! 
Sounds like the winery will be getting a lot of money from your guests! I personally wouldn’t be very happy if I was one of your guests and got there on time at 3:30 just to find out had I to wait around for the late guests to arrive. I would just tell people the actual time and if they are late then it is their own fault and I would hope they would have enough common sense not to disturb the ceremony in progress.
I hadn’t even thought about this yet but that is really smart! Most of my family is pretty on time but FI family is hit or miss so we may be doing a little of the same trickeration =)
Our ceremony time is what will be listed on the invites. If someone is late and misses the ceremony, it will be ok. As someone who is generally early or on time I think I would be frustrated to have to hang around for 30 minutes.
I don’t think you need to say anything….the seating of guests and all of that should take some time and they will be able to mingle a bit. If you can provide water and lemonade before your guests will be pleased as punch IMO.
@keyedontie & @aja0829: I can understand why you would be upset, but I’m also doing this just in case there is a lot of traffic. As someone who is always on time I would be sick if I got stuck in traffic and missed the ceremony. Annie did tell us that if everyone is on time and we are missing anyone, she’ll let us begin early
Man, I wish I would’ve thought about doing this!! 
I’m so worried my out of town guests (90% of my guests are out of town) will be late but my goal is: my invites say 2, I’m walking down the isle at 2… lol… we went to a wedding this weekend that started at noon… and actually started at almost 1! The 4 of us that came together were on a time crunch since we had a 5 hour (that turned into almost 6.5!) drive ahead of us and work in the am…
The coordinator at my venue told me to put the time on the invite 30 minutes earlier than the real start. She said that in her experience, by the time people trickle in, get a program, get seated and quiet, and the people in the processional are ready to go, it’s almost 30 minutes past anyway. They are providing sparkling water to people before the ceremony.
I have a few relatives who are notoriously early to everything, so to them, I may whisper that it will really start a half hour later than it says, otherwise, they’ll get there an hour and a half early. For everyone else, it should be just right.
Our ceremony will be at 4PM and that is the time I will put down for the invites…HOWEVER…I did include “church doors will close at 3:45PM” I did this is hopes that everyone will adjust their drive time to be there by 3:45, as my guests will also be traveling from Orange County, but to the Santa Barbera area! YIKES! =) I really will have the church doors closed at 4PM..I’ve been to too many weddings where ppl walk in right in the middle of the vows or something obnoxious!
Mr. Y and I both have chronically late folks in our families. We printed the actual start time on the invites, but (like heather25 suggested) will have a couple of huge glass dispensers with water and pink lemonade as pre-ceremony refreshments. Considering the venue, I don’t think anyone will be in a rush to get things going. :o)
As a guest, I enjoy mingling with everyone prior to the ceremony!
We had the same thoughts since our ceremony is 40 minutes outside of where most people will be staying. The actual time is in our invites, but our map tells them the expected travel time without traffic. I have a feeling there will be some stragglers during the ceremony, but I’m not too worried about it!
I think it’s a good idea. I’ve had to drive a long way for a wedding before, got in an accident as I was pulling out of the parking lot, and almost walked into the front of the church instead of the back when I was late!
We’ll probably start prelude music about 15 minutues before the time on the invitation and start the ceremony 15 minutes after the time on the invite.
We struggled with this, since we’re concerned with traffic as well - hit or miss. But we should be ok, as we’ve blocked off rooms at 2 hotels (most everyone is staying overnight) and will provide a shuttle to transport the majority of guests. Our site will provide beverage service a half an hour before the ceremony officially starts, which will be a nice incentive to (or soften the blow for) guests who arrive a half an hour early!
The same thing as you!! We’re putting 3:30 but our ceremony will start at 4. We don’t have traffic to contend with. In fact, our guests only have to go 10 miles max to get to the ceremony, but it always takes people a while to get settled. Haha. Good idea about the sign.
I have the “guests might be late” issue too, because of something we like to call “Puerto Rican Time”, which is usually 20-30 minutes later than whatever time was originally specified 
We’re probably going to provide transportation from the reception venue/hotel to the ceremony site (which is an hour away), so we have to specify a time that is 1-1.5 hrs earlier than the ceremony… and I’m still worried that even if I say “the bus will leave at X’oclock sharp”, people will be late and miss the ride to the ceremony :-\ so we might have to say the bus will depart 2 hours before the ceremony so that people will be able to get there in time for it!
Hey, from one wedding attendee/bride to another bride, I think you can leave the sign off and NOBODY will notice the half-hour gap!!! Serious! Then you avoid pissing off people like keyedontie and aja0829. I’ve been to so many weddings and most of them started at least 15 min. or half an hour after I got there, on time. There’s plenty to do for the people who arrive on time. They’ll simply see that people aren’t sitting down yet, and they’ll mingle and wait in line to sign the guest book, probably look for the restroom and check out the scenery. Then half an hour later they’ll hear the announcement that the wedding is starting and they won’t even realize half an hour passed!
My future MIL is NEVER on time- as in over an hour late for everything. And makes a fuss when she finally gets there and insists on attention (almost two hours late to our engagement party, over an hour late to my bridal shower, and so many more). We are actually having pictures taken prior to the ceremony to ensure her timeliness (two hours before to be exact). It’s incredibly frustrating to plan our activities around her inability to think of others, but whatever works, we will do.
We’re lying, too. Putting 11:30am on our invites, with an actual goal of starting at 12:00pm. I go to a LOT of weddings, and ceremonies never ever ever start on time. Plus my fiance’s family is perpetually late.
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Mrs. French Bulldog, Orange County Age and Occupation: 28, Administrative Assistant & Interior Design Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Purchasing Analyst Engagement Date: November 8, 2008 Wedding Date: August 2009 Venue: Bernardo Winery About Me: I've lived in Atlanta, Dallas and Laguna Niguel; although I've lived in Orange County, CA most my life, I'm a Southerner at heart. I work full time for a Commercial General Contractor (aka my father) and I go to school for Interior Design at night. I love modern design, music, wine, crafting, DMailing, my family, my Westies, and of course, Mr Frenchie! Mr Frenchie and I met 3 years ago on Match.com and have been best friends ever since. I love his "old soul" and how he laughs with his whole body, among many other things. We are planning our summer wedding at the winery near his hometown, just 45 minutes south of Orange County.
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