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I was chatting with my friend Jeremy (of the panel) about registries and whether he and his lovely bride Dani got many gifts from it. I’ll admit, I’m a little worried about it. I’ve been stalking our registries; I admit that, too. Anyway, as we were chatting, I realized he must have thought that I was really superficial about presents. I’ve blogged way too much about our registries already, and I’m sure this was the 3rd or 4th conversation we’ve had about them. So, I decided to come clean about why I’m paranoid about gifts.
I’ve gotten some pretty weird gifts over the years. Yes, everyone gets weird gifts, but this has been pretty consistent throughout my life. I once got a can of peaches for Christmas. My Dad had just seen this S & W commercial where people were really happy about getting canned fruit, so he decided to copy it. He was joking, of course, and later gave me a card with some money. That’s kind of cute and funny, but that’s where those types of gifts end.
Some of the funnier gifts I’ve been given:
You get the picture. In most cases, I didn’t need a gift. A simple card would have meant more. So, of course, wedding gifts scare me. None of my relatives would ever show up at a wedding without a gift. Even if I didn’t want gifts, they’d bring them. Is it wrong to not want the sign that says, “Jesus will bless this home and this marriage”? I saw my aunt eyeing it last time we were out.
So, I’m paranoid about gifts. Do you blame me?
Two questions:
P.S. - Now I may actually welcome a new toilet seat! 
You’ve created your registry and hopefully people will buy you things off of it…some wont’…theres a good chance you’re getting the jesus sign!
It will really depend on your friends and relatives, I don’t think theres a general rule beyond, people set up registries to aid gift buyers, if people didn’t often buy off of them, people wouldn’t set them up.
You need to let it go, gifts are always given with good intention, and yes, sometimes they are totally crappy, but that’s when the thought counts.
@2009cndbride: See, I’m not so sure that gifts are always given with good intentions. I know people who will just pick up any old thing because they don’t want to be the only one who showed up without a gift.
You’re right though, I do need to let it go.
I think most people shop off the registry or give money. We only recieved one gift which we did not like and it really wasn’t that bad it just was not our taste. I plan on giving it to the Goodwill for someone else to enjoy 
There’s not really much you can do besides register and make it known that you have registered. The awful gifts are just funny. I would recommend trying to return any that you can and giving the rest to the Goodwill so that at least someone else can find a use for them!
We actually didn’t get many gifts, but a lot of cash and gift cards. Of the actual gifts we got, the ones that were not on our registry, weren’t that bad. Except the picture frame that had matting for a collage with our names on it, but my first name was spelled wrong…I’m actually happy my name was spelled wrong, because the frame and matting are not my style.
This post made me laugh out loud. I know where you’re coming from. Personally I’m not a fan of “tchochkes” as we call them here in NY. My future mother in law loves to buy me these knick knacks anyway even though she knows I don’t like them or have room for them (sigh). I mean, I don’t think a 29 year old needs a candy dish as apresent. I do appreciate the thought, but it’s just not up my alley. Anyway, there’s nothing wrong with wanting what want - that’s the whole point of a registry. Hopefully people don’t deviate from it too much.
My GIL (Grandparent in Laws) either re-gifts and/or shops at the dollar store.
Everytime.
Last year we got a cheese grater with hard, dried up cheese stuck in it. At my bridal shower they gifted us cups and plates that were clearly from the 60’s. I felt a lil’ bad for them, because one of my friends didn’t know the gift was from them and when I opened it up she made a humourous comment about them being super old. Yikes.
I totally know where you’re coming from. While I appreciate their gifts (even if they are used and what not), I’d really rather recieve nothing than have to find a home for something I can’t use. I’m hope that doesn’t make me sound rude, I don’t know how else to explain it. :oP
I wouldn’t mind the 10lbs of Jasmine rice though. LoL!
You shouldn’t really feel bad. You do have to let it go because it’s something can’t control… but as a fellow thoughtless gift receiver… it’s annoying. A gift given with intention and thought is one thing - something that was given with zero thought is annoying! It makes me feel wasteful when I have to find a place to donate those ceramic (chipped!) snail bookends. Hopefully, I am not being a bad person…. but I understand your pain.
10 lbs of rice??
We got a lot of gifts off our registry. I’m really impressed with my aunt who looked at the registry to get my towel colors, then purchased them at another store and had them monogrammed. I just think the quality of what she purchased is sub-par, but no biggie.
So funny! We got a crystal vase for a wedding gift, and when we opened the box (to make fun of the hideous thing, obvs), there was a card in it, address TO THE COUPLE WHO GAVE IT TO US! Yeah….we got re-gifted, and they didn’t even take the time to remove the card! We LOVED that though….so funny!!!!
I didnt want gifts either. We are both established already with kitchen ware and what not and really didnt need one thing.
@mary-alice-me: Yes, rice. Not sure why and of course I was home from Manchester so I could use the rice. My parents were very happy to get it.
What’s wrong with bunnies!? 
Totally kidding. No, I understand your worries. I’ve gotten some pretty bad gifts over the years. Who gives a teenage girl a trashcan for her birthday!?
ha ha. sorry, but it is funny. (a bit?)
We got mainly gifts from our registry - I’d say only about 4 people at the bridal shower went off registry. For the wedding, most people gave money, but a few gave gifts that were from the registry or off the registry. At least you didn’t receive my worst gift ever…one Christmas, a cousin of mine gave me a pack of 5 tampons as my gift - yes she wrapped up and gave me a free sample pack…it gets better, though, as one of the 5 tampons was missing from the package!
Mostly people purchased things off of our registry although we did get a few unrequested and odd gifts. I feel your pain though as I too have received some of the oddest gifts over the years. We have turned it into a fun thing to talk about after Christmas every year - which one of us got the weirder gifts. Just as a few examples, things I have received.
1. 2 boxes of Strawberry Creme Pudding - there was no check or money following this gift. She was serious.
2. Perfume samples - not the mini sized ones, the one time use ones that they pass out as you are walking by the counters.
3. Shapeable foam soap meant for children
4. A ceramic shoe that holds a cell phone
5. A stuffed poodle
I keep a box of all the most random and ridiculous items bc then I can go back through them and they make me laugh. Who buys and wraps pudding?
A cousin gave us the red Swingline stapler from Office Space, and a friend gave us a little robot with glowing red eyes, because “what wedding is complete without a kill-bot?”
I have great photos of the kill-bot climbing over wedding decor, waiting in line for the bathroom, etc. He meant it as a commentary on how short our registry lists were (we asked over and over again for charitable contributions in lieu of gifts, but gave up), but it ended up being certainly one of the more memorable wedding gifts. It sits on a bookshelf in our living room. Well, more like it lurks.
I totally understand your post. I didn’t get presents quite that silly, but our families go for the $25-sometimes-cheeseball-handpicked-gift more than the big registry item or cash. We had a modest wedding, were in debt from it afterwards, and didn’t get everything off our registry. I felt really jealous of my friends who got everything from the registry at the showers and huge amounts of checks and cash at the wedding. Just like some people’s families give them the down payment on their house and some people’s families give them a Jesus sign instead. I’m in the Jesus sign family. Oh well! What can I do? It’s just a cultural difference/familial difference, and it’s completely out of your control, and you’ll get over it.
Ditto Dumpling’s comment….only our received regift complete with card to the couple who gave it to us was 5 ginormous gold and marble candle sticks. They are so heavy I can’t pick the bag up without assuming the “heavy lifting safe squat” position.
I knew to expect this from my side of the world so I’m just rolling with it (as I have been my whole life…I once received a jar of dill pickles so maybe that family member saw the same commercial as your dad). My FI on the other hand is really having a hard time with it b/c everyone he knows shops from a registry.
The thing is for me it’s still kind of them to think of us, even when I wish they would just stick to a nice card with a note. OH…and I ALWAYS win the prize for the worst/best gift at white elephant parties
First I should say I totally believe in re-gifting… if you know the other person would actually use/like what you’re giving them (and its never been used by you before). For example, I’ve gotten a lot of really nice candles, but I have a super phobia with fire, but I know tons of people who love them.
Now I must say I HATE receiving gifts no matter what the occassion or who’s buying. This may have stemmed from the time I got an ironing board…. when I was 8! Ever since then seems like it going down hill. I also got rice (15 lb bag) last christmas. Most of the time I more stunned than anything to properly react to the gifts. Grandma last year got us disposal napkins…. I always wonder if she’s secretly trying to tell us something.
I’m convinced it’s part of getting married. West Coast Goom and I had a good many laugh at some of the kooky crap we got (and I specifically mean from the people who grabbed something random at the last minute, like you said, not the ones who bought us things that we didn’t like but knew they had put thought into). Obviously obsessing over bad gifts is obsessing over gifts period, which you’re right to try and get over. Free yourself from expectation and then it will be (at least one day) funny.
My fiance is a caterer, and we’ve been living together for the past three years, so we already have the basic home-making gifts you generally see on the wedding gift table (ie. kitchenaid mixer, place settings, linens) Instead, we’re hoping to redo our bathroom tiles, and register at Lowes for the tiles we want…
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Mrs. Joey, Seattle Age and Occupation: 28, Project Administrator for Public Health NGO Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, High School History Teacher Engagement Date: June 24, 2008 Wedding Date: August 2009 Venue: Eastside Catholic Chapel and Lake Union Cafe About Me: I'm a Seattle girl through and through except for the fact that I don't drink coffee. I love my job most of the time because I get to travel and work with brilliant people who are trying to prevent Malaria. I love DIY projects of all sorts, cooking, and watching sports. I'd wear anything at Anthropologie and could spend all day on Etsy. I love to travel but shouldn't because I always get myself into unbelievable situations!
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