Wedding Blog
Being your own wedding coordinator can save you money, but I’m starting to learn that it has its drawbacks, as well.
I’ve never done this before. Not only am I a first-time bride, I’ve never even been in anyone else’s wedding. When questions arise, I turn to Weddingbee or The Knot etiquette posts to see whether I’m doing this right.
Our florist is the first vendor (or wedding elf, if you’re of A Practical Bride’s school of thought) I’ve booked. Logging into my inbox today, I was faced with the daunting task of writing to the other two florists I’d met with, but hadn’t booked, to let them know I’d decided to go a different route.
What’s the appropriate etiquette for such a situation? It’s not as though I disliked their proposals. They just weren’t the right fit for our vision and our budget.
It’s like a wedding vendor version of The Bachelorette or something.
I’m sorry, Florists #1 and #2. It’s not you; it’s me. Me and my teeny-tiny budget. You’re really nice, though! And cool! And I would book all three of you if I could!
I’m being silly, right? Something like this is probably no biggie for these vendors. There are other clients. Their work is so fantastic that they’ll have no trouble finding someone else to book our date.
My breakup email to each of the other two florists was short and sweet:
“Thank you for taking the time to meet with me, but I’ve decided to go with a different florist.
Sincerely,
Miss Bunny”
I don’t know if I should have been a little less formal? Should I have shown more gratitude for them working up those proposals? Perhaps I could have explained more in depth about why I decided to book someone else?
Breakups are hard… even if you’ve only been on a first date.
Any advice on how to just say “no, thanks” next time?
|
Share this post: Letting Them Down Easy
Its even harder when you like all of them and they all fit in your budget!
I just went to one vendor each. Faithful, I know, but I HATE those types of emails even more than I hate the chicken dance at wedding receptions.
It’s so tough. But sending the email is definitely the right thing to do. I would have thanked them for their time, but, in the end, it’s all the same - a no.
I feel SO guilty about meeting with more than one vendor… so far, I’ve only met with one photographer, but I did meet with two officiants, and though the one we did not hire was not right for us at all - it was still such a tough email to write.
We’re meeting with two DJs next week. I already feel sad I can’t hire both of them.
We met with two wedding planners. Both would have done a great job, and we would have been happy with either. I felt like I was breaking up with the one we rejected when I sent her the email. It’s not easy, but they are professionals and are used to being rejected.
i know, nobody really tells you about how hard it is to break up with vendors that you love but can’t use! in my “break-up” emails i went way overboard and told them how much i appreciated their time and that i loved their work, but that i couldn’t use them for budget reasons, and blah blah blah i’m sure this isn’t a big deal to them because they’re so great blah blah. seriously, verbal diarrhea.
I know, it’s awful. So far the only thing we had to turn down was one venue (which I love as a restaurant but hated as a wedding site… the carpet!!!!), but everything else we’ve gone with the first vendor, so emails were unnecessary. But when it gets to that point, I’m totally stealing your “template.” I think it’s appropriate.
Well, that was a very nice “break-up” e-mail. I know they are difficult, but you did it in a sweet way. They will really appreciate it. They won’t be hurt if you explain to them they weren’t in your budget, or “we really liked your stuff, but it wasn’t right for us.”
Hahaha I find this funny just cause I thought I was crazy for feeling terrible after I had to say no to 2 photographers, I felt awful! They were both so nice/awesome, I just liked the 3rd one the best. I think its super polite to let them know though, especially if god forbid something happened to your #1 and you needed another one. Good for you!
I only had to say no a few times, but I was surprised at how difficult it was… especially with a friendor who just wasn’t going to work out 
I sweated about that one for days!
The fact that you sent an email at all is appreciated more than you know! I work for a catering company and you’d be suprised how many potential clients just don’t respond at all. The email your wrote is completely appropriate and to the point.
The fact that you let them know in a timely manner is better than most brides! What you said sounded great. I used to work for a wedding venue and there are some people who never let you know!
I hated that part of the planning…. I actually had one florist respond to my let-down email with a list of questions as why I didn’t book her! Which was ironically part of the reason I didn’t use her- way too OCD 
Don’t sweat it–that was a perfect way to tell your florists no. I think the wedding industry is one of those industries that hears no more often than not, so the vendors are kind of used to it. Doesn’t make it easier, of course, but there’s no need to feel guilty if you’re going with what’s best for you!
So far we’ve booked the first and only people we met with (photographer, DJ, and venue). But in the next few days I have appointments with 2 florists so I’m totally in your boat. I know I’ll feel bad, but they’re used to it and they would rather know for sure than be left hanging. Definitely going to steal your one-line email though!
Ugh, I just had to tell our reception place that we disliked all 5 dishes she made for us. 
However, she didn’t make the one we were most interested in. So…I had to send her an email telling her that and asking for a tasting of what we actually wanted. It’s hard b/c I know her personally and like her, and she is hooking us up a TON…but I can’t get over how terrible the food was.
I have to do that this week too, to a florist. I think as others have said, it’s part of the job and most vendors are used to it. However, I actually had one vendor send me a snarky reply back! A DJ who we decided not to go with wrote me an email that basically said “Well good luck finding anyone as good as me!” I was so shocked - but it only made me happier that we didn’t go with him. I don’t want to work with someone that unprofessional.
Miss Bunny I totally feel your pain! I hated writing those emails :-/ Some people told me not to write them and they would get the hint, but I could NOT do that! I think its great that although difficult you still wrote them to let them know
better to write than not to, i think! i usually say hey thanks so much for your time, however… (insert reason here) and say that i will pass on their contacts to my friends who are getting married too.
I’m a florist, and rarely do i get a thanks but no thanks email/letter/phone call, the fact you were nice enough to let them know period is fantastic and makes you a better bride than many!
I too had a couple of photographers question me as to my reasons. That’s not fun. “But I really liked the other girl, and you guys are old and kind of weird” is not really something you can say in an email. And I also had a makeup artist (who was ridiculously high-priced) say that I would get subpar work from anyone else. Pshaw. No thanks, honey. I think you did the right thing even if it is sort of uncomfortable. Remember, also, that not everyone is a word person who labors over emails — I am, but is your average florist? Possibly not…they’ve got floral stuff to do!
I sent each vendor i met with a handwritten thank you card thanking them for their time. Even if i didn’t choose them, I wanted them to know I appreciated their efforts.
| Visit our sister sites | Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Fertile Thoughts Infertility Support |
Mrs. Bunny, Columbus
Age and Occupation: 24, Associate Editor/Reporter
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, Reporter
Engagement Date: September 23, 2008
Wedding Date: July 2009
Venue: Everal Barn, Westerville
About Me: Organized, but messy. I love art (all kinds). I don't have any secrets. I talk a lot and listen even more. I show love by baking. I'm timid by nature, but brave when it counts.
Mr. Bunny and I work at competing weekly newspapers, which makes it a little interesting trying to describe our work joys and frustrations without giving away too much before the paper comes out. In spite of that little hurdle, we've managed to build a pretty solid relationship in the short one-and-a-half years we will have been together when we tie the knot. I can't wait!
| Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
| 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |
| 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 |
| 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |
| 29 | 30 |
Latest Gallery Pics