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I can officially say that at this point in my planning process, I am over it. You’re probably thinking: Whoa, Miss Beagle, what does that mean?
When Mr. Beagle and I became engaged (almost a year ago!) I had my heart set on a small, intimate wedding. In my mind, I envisioned something small- even a casual backyard shindig would have been fine, as long as I got to marry my mister in a cute, “weddingish” dress. However, when we started looking at the guest list I knew that keeping our party small and quaint was going to be impossible. Between the both of our families, we came up with around 100 people. As we added in our friends, and some of our parents’ guests (I should note that these are people very close to both of our parents), our guest list ballooned to 200.
I wish I could easily “x” people off, but all our invited guests have been significant figures in our lives and I think they would be disappointed (and we would probably feel the same) if they weren’t able to witness such a big event in our lives. The cut from “large” to “small” is a lot easier said than done. This, paired with the possibility that the two people who are most near and dear to me may not be able to be there with me on our wedding day, has left me feeling a little numb about our wedding.
Even though I may be over the size of our affair, I’m still planning to follow through with all the DIY projects (even if they are a little overwhelming) that I have planned. They keep my mind busy from dwelling on the negative; and, I’m hoping they will infuse (even if it is a small amount) originality in to our event and create the intimate atmosphere that I so desperately want. Plus I love crafting, sewing, and such- it is my outlet for dealing with stressful situations.
There’s just a part of me that is just a little sad that we didn’t follow through with a small wedding surrounded by just our immediate families at our side.
Why did you choose to have a big or a small wedding? Do you have any regrets?
i think almost everyone at some point wishes they could go back and do the very small, intimate celebration (if they’re not already doing so). and vice versa for those doing small, wondering if they should have done bigger. it’s natural to get to points where we question our choices. big, small, whatever, it’s going to be wonderful.
i would love something like a really small house wedding party with family and friends its not the end of the world. big or small wedding its normal as long as your getting married that’s the best feeling.
I also wanted a small wedding but with FI’s large family it just didn’t seem possible. I sometimes feel sad that i’m not having the intimate affair I wanted and also a bit shocked at how much money this larger wedding is costing…but in the end, I think I’ll be happy to have all the people we love there to celebrate.
we had to have a big wedding my fiance is an only child so his parents are inviting every one they know and i have a big family so we’re at 299!!
We wanted small and intimate, but with this being the first wedding on fiance’s side we’re ending up with a big affair. Originally we wanted under 100. Then we would have been happy with 125. Now we’re at 150. Having said that, I’m anticipating that at least some people won’t come. It still feels like a lot! I just hope we pull it off ok!
I also wish I was having a smaller, more intimate wedding. I’d always dreamed of waking up one morning and deciding to elope that day, but it’s not happening. We’re having about 100 people. I couldn’t bear to do immediate family only because I’m a child of unhappily divorced parents and I need about 98 people in between them to buffer the situation.
I feel you Miss Beagle. We originally wanted 60 people or under. But because of parental pressure, and our huge families (both of our dad’s are one of 8 kids) we’re now at a guest list of 185.
It’s just not what we wanted. As much as I want other people to share the day with us, we wanted people there who we both know and are both close to.
I really really wanted a small wedding. Say, 40-50 people (including us). With our family and friends, the guest list is at 150 now!! But because our location is rather remote (and the wedding isn’t on a sunday), we’re pretty sure not everyone will come. Maybe 80. But 80 is still way more than 40. Guest lists suck. I have a nervous breakdown every time one more name is added, even if “they probably won’t even come”.
There have been times that I regret that we didn’t stick to our smallish destination wedding. BUT…mostly those regrets come during times that things aren’t coming together or there’s stress in my life. It’s a tricky balance, blending the two styles (yours and his) and being careful that you don’t compromise yourself out of a day that feels like yours.
Maybe you’ll be like us, when our guest list ballooned to 154, I FREAKED. But…some of the not so nearest and dearest have declined, which is bringing us closer to the night that we hoped for. A night that we can actually spend some time sharing with our friends and family individually.
And…I must say that I totally agree that the personalizing of the day is what brings me solace. I really do feel that it will make the day more intimate as well, because people will have my heart and soul that has been poured into all the details.
Good luck, it will pass. It hit me about the same time in the planning process as where you’re at, but I’m super excited now. 
Many of us are in the same boat. I wanted a backyard wedding with 60 people (close family on both sides and closest friends), but it just isn’t working out that way. Weddings in my family (not in my fiance’s, though) are an excuse for parents to *brag* by inviting lots of people… and since they are paying for most of it, I can’t let them not. But it’s frustrating.
I wanted a much smaller affair, but his family doesn’t do small affairs (weddings are family reunion philosophy). After discussions about whether we could afford all the extra people, we decided to just let it be rather than fighting with relatives and have not discussed the size of our guest list since. There will be people at our wedding who don’t know either of us and wouldn’t recognize us on the street the very next day, but at least we will be surrounded by our closest friends and family as well.
Oh man. I’m already at the “I will be so happy when this is over and we’re married” stage. I am definitely “over it”. It’s hard to have a small wedding. Really, really hard.
Good luck! It’s too bad that the closest to you aren’t going to be able to attend, I’m sorry. Maybe you guys could have a little small ceremony and then for the reception invite the 200 some guests…just an idea.
I had 100 guests. It was REALLY hard to narrow it down to that because my family is used to having 400 guest weddings (which i think is bananas!). When having 20 people for thanksgiving alone, its hard to make a SMALL list of important people. We also wanted to have 30 people at the ceremony and then the rest at the reception, but we ended up with 50 at the ceremony. I dont regret it at all, and loved it all the same. Numbers dont matter. People matter. An article was just publisehd on etsy about my wedding here http://www.etsy.com/storque/handmade-life/handmade-weddings-five-sisters-one-amazing-day-4057/
We are having approximately 200 - 250 guests at our shindig because of my large family and honestly I have thought many times to just cut it down to size or even elope but I am too far in. I know I am going to have lots of fun and it will be a great day either way.
Fiance and I are going for the backyard wedding, though not exactly intimate. Our guest list is ~120, so it’s not as I’d hope, but it will still be great.
In some way’s I’m regretting having a biggish-small wedding. In some ways I wish I would have gone with the Mr’s plan and just had the beach wedding with only me and him.
@Caroline: We have definately considered a smaller ceremony pre- actual day. It’s still up in the air because I’m still not sure on whether or not the two people in question will be able to make it or not. (Crossing fingers that all will work out and we can celebrate our day with them!)
@popko: Wow! I love all the details from your wedding! It looks like you had a beautiful day.
@IA_Snowflake: hehe, we seriously joked about eloping the other night. Ahh,, if only….
In the past 10 years I have been to so… many… weddings… I have been a bridesmaid 5 times! I was wedding’d out before I even got engaged. My fiance is a very private person so it just made sense to make the wedding intimate. We’re having only our immediate families and the people who would have been the bridal party and their sig others. That put our number at 25 including us. I can’t say that the planning has been a breeze but so far I’ve been very happy to be going this route. I do wonder if at some point I’ll regret not having a larger affair but we’re having a larger casual party a few months later and hopefully that will deter any post-wedding regrets I may develop.
Oh this post is so perfect. I’ve been “Over It” for about a week now. I had my heart set on a small wedding in Napa, then a smallish wedding near home, and now we’re having about 150 people. NOT what I had envisioned, but I realized I didn’t envision marrying such a handsome and wonderful man, and I didn’t envision finding this board. Sometimes there is something even better than what we dream of! I am “Over It” and so excited!
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Mrs. Beagle, Austin Age and Occupation: 26, Electrical Engineer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Finance Engagement Date: July 12, 2008 Wedding Date: October 2009 Venue: Church Ceremony/Reception at The Waterford House About Me: I am a true, but rare, Austinite---I was born, raised, and continue to live in this great city! Although I am an engineer by day, I feed my inner creative side through crafting, sewing, and obsessing over Martha Stewart. I love coffee, my mister, NPR, and exploring all the nooks and crannies of Austin. I can't wait to share my adventures in DIY and wedding planning with all of you!
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