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I’ve been having a hard time lately. I’ve been feeling kinda insecure about our wedding. As I am sure you’ve seen from my posts, I do love weddings, but I’ve been feeling a little weird about mine. One of the first reactions when I found out that I got picked to be a bee quickly went from “Yay! How amazing!!” to “Oh #%@$, Mr. Swan! People are going to be looking at our wedding!!” I mean, being a wedding blogger, I do feel some pressure to have this totally cool and interesting wedding, ya know? I know that for many people my wedding may have some of the little pretty details, but compared to my fellow bees and you, dear readers, I kinda feel a bit… inadequate. I know you all are not whispering Kate Hudson’s line from “Bride Wars” about your weddings kicking my wedding’s butt (at least I hope not), but I think you can’t help compare too, right?
It’s not that I haven’t tried to fight being worried about how my wedding will be perceived by all of you super crafty, creative folks out there, or anyone else for that matter. I am creative, but weddings require and emphasize a certain ability that gives a great advantage to you visual artists out there. I’m not one of you (I’m a dancer); I can sort of tell how the wedding will come together, but at this point it’s all a guess for me. I’m sure you’re sick of hearing me say that I don’t craft. 
Right now I am not planning many of the amazing little details that many of you are: pretty programs, special favors, etc. And you’ve already seen my invitations. Maybe that will change at the last minute. I’m kinda worried that my recap posts will not be particularly interesting, or that my wedding just won’t be… nice. At moments, my emotional state ranges from one similar to Mrs. Cheese’s, during her “moment” way back when, and Mrs. Peep Toe’s ability to step away from the details.
Right now, I’m going to take another blogger’s advice and chill out about having a “nice wedding”, but it’s hard with the wedding about two months away.
Participating in the wedding blogging community, on wedding boards, or in a group of brides in general, do you feel an intense pressure to have a super unique and interesting wedding?
YES! It definitely makes me feel insecure to have our wedding displayed for all the internet to see! I always think we’re just not “cool” enough.
I can’t wait to see how your wedding turns out, Miss Swan, even without crafty details. Each of the bees has her own unique voice to add to the mix.
Yup, I’ve fretted several times, and continue to do so. 
But what I love most about all the previous bees’ weddings is seeing how the love between each newly-married couple is reflected and captured…and I know we’ll have NO problem with that element of our wedding! 
oh Miss Swan, I feel the exact same way! I’m so glad you said it because sometimes I feel inadequate which I know isn’t what you bloggers are intending. I’m not particularly creative so when others are, I so wish I could recreate their genius.
I think you bring your own unique perspective and ideas to WeddingBee. You were chosen for a reason and the reasons are all great. So many brides will identify with your wedding and how you did it your way.
I’m insecure already, and I haven’t even set a definate date! But I know in the end, it will be perfect no matter what. Even the details that seem so “mundane” to you, might be the most interesting ones to some of us. We would all share in the joy and effort you put into your wedding, regardless.We may be looking for “new” and “unique” ideas, but I think it’s really more about sharing the experience.
I relate quite a bit to your outlook so far. And I am excited to see what your end result is!!!!!
I am completely with you now throw into your equation a wedding a couple of weeks before and a wedding the week after. Then you’re in my situation.
My cousins both decided to do this and although I don’t think its personal I still feel like I have some serious pressure and now I’m doubting everything.
I recently told my FI about this and that was not a good choice. He doesn’t get it.
I really think though that you’re wedding is going to be fabulous and you are going to post some great pictures.
Yes! I see the AMAZING stuff other brides are doing and think… I need to do more stuff
Its nice to know I’m not the only one.
Miss Swan, you have no idea how many people’s feelings you probably just eased by posting this. You bring something to the hive all your own and I have to say (at no offense to the bees who fill this niche) I really don’t care about seeing product-based posts, or ones about six different types of inspiration for details I consider minor. Focus on bringing your wedding to life in whatever way you and Mr. Swan see fit, and know that one of the great things about the bloggosphere is that however you wedding looks (and however it happens to be “executed”) you never really can know just how it will resonate with people when you post it.
Thanks so much for posting this - I have been having the same concerns.
I had these really grand plans of pulling off a super affordable and chic wedding, but the closer we get to the day, the less confident I am in my “friendors”. I just received the sample of our invite from etsy and it was dreadful, so now we have to figure something new out that probably won’t be as cost-effective as the first choice. I’m trying to think of little extras to put it over the top without busting the budget, and it hasn’t been easy.
In the end, my hope is that it will be what I always wanted it to be, a big fun party, and that noone’s going to wonder where the pomanders are.
Good luck, I’m sure your wedding will be lovely.
If it makes you feel better, I’d happily trade my mad DIY craftin’ skillz for your ability to dance. You can get someone else to do your crafting for you, but I can’t get a “stunt dancer” for the times that I’m called out to the dance floor to shake my ivory-organza-bustled groove thang with my bridesmaids. I’m a white girl from the midwest, and I dance like it, too!
I can relate to your insecurity, but I’m worried that all of the love and hard work I put into our save the dates, invitations, centerpieces, etc. will be forgotten, and all that people will remember and talk about is the bride with no rhythm!
Don’t worry–your wedding will be beautiful and I can’t wait to read more about your wedding plans!
hah…that’s my best friend in that picture. I almost fell out of my chair just now.
I think you’re freaking out! Don’t freak out. It all depends on your definition of “nice.” I think Miss Mary Jane (the un-wedding wedding) had a similar moment. I think the object of Weddingbee, which isn’t always obvious, is to reflect all different types of weddings, from different perspectives. Be assured that your presence here is deserved and is inspiring to all of us!
Just reading the Bee makes me nervous. I’m crafty, but I don’t have the visual talent that lots of the bees have. I don’t have the guts to blog about my wedding (at least not publicly, yet) because of this.
Our budget is super tiny, and I’m basically doing everything myself. It’s at a campsite in the boons, and we’re making signs because the directions are complicated. My fiance is 5 hours away, and I’m stressed.
I feel ya, I really do. I mean what if our weddings just don’t compare? Then one of my friends reminds me, it’s not about comparing our weddings to theirs, it’s about having a wedding WE enjoy, and that WE love. It’s about US, not everyone else. Keep that in mind Miss Swan.
Dear Ms. Swan, All of these entries are the same. Attempts at DIY, stressing at some point, letting go at some point, then the day of where everybody is just blissful to be marrying the person they love. And what makes us readers fall in love with you Bees is your open sharing and honesty. So, w/out 100 DIY projects or pictures, i admire and adore each and every one of you ladies; no strings attached. I got married May 08 and read WB before and till now. I have the utmost respect and adoration for all of you guys. So i’m sad to hear that you feel insecure but I hope my words (and all those above) will cheer you up. Insecurities are natural as planning barrels on. Just know that every entry was written with much heart from you thus making you a very heartable person…like every other blogger. PLUS, each blogger has their own gift, and you were hand-picked bc you are special too! 
(hug) and g’luck w/ the rest of your wedding planning adventures.
Give us (and yourself) a little more credit than that! In the end, we all have a different visions for the same goal… a joyous and special day. The details of that day are what make each wedding, and bride, so special.
Oh, woman, I’m glad I’m not the only one who finds herself thinking “oh man… my wedding is SO not Weddingbee Wedding Material” when I make some of my decisions (or lack of)!!!
Point is, we were chosen to be bees because we’re getting married and decided to write about the process. We’re sharing our experience. And if our experience happens to bring to light the fact that not everyone is a DIY genius or a detail diva… so be it! It’s real
I kinda know what you mean. I’ve tried to make my blog posts a mix of info about our wedding and info about other vendors or finds or what not. I do this because I know that what I blog about wedding loves may not be exactly what everyone adores. So I feel pressure to appeal to the masses!
I feel you. I’ve often felt exactly the same way. However, I try and remind myself that while nice comments and feedback from other bloggers is awesome. What ultimately matters is that I (and my fiance) are happy with our wedding and all the big and little details. In the grand scheme of things, that’s all that matters. After all, it is our wedding. Naturally people will like some things and completely hate other things….just remember that as long as YOU and your FIANCE love everything that’s key.
Yes, definitely, and I’m not even a blogger! I actually have to stop reading WBPro periodically just because all of the vendors gush so much about the amazing, fantastic couples and weddings that they’ve worked on, and I tend to get the feeling that my wedding can’t live possibly up to those.
Miss Swan,
I think every bride has this problem!! Only yours is magnified because its on display…
But…
I think this article will be helpful to you!
http://offbeatbride.com/2007/05/your-wedding-is-not-a-contest
“Your Wedding is Not a Contest” by Ariel of Off Beat Bride
I think we all feel this Ms. Swan… and really, whether it is the perfect crafty wedding or just a great day for you and your fiance/husband… then it will be perfect!
Seriously… don’t sweat it. And I will try to do the same
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Mrs. Swan, New York City Age and Occupation: 31, Legislative Representative Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Finance Guy Engagement Date: August 9, 2008 Wedding Date: August 2009 Venue: Battery Gardens About Me: I am an un-crafty but resourceful, Caribbean-born but New York-raised woman who's been known to analyze "Dancing with the Stars" and “So You Think You Can Dance”, buy stinky cheese, and use way too many parentheses. I keep lists for fun, am constantly daydreaming of my next international travel adventure (four continents down, three to go), debating sports (let’s Got Mets/Giants!) and dancing around my apartment to stay sane. I am excited to share our wedding planning journey as I hope to plan a streamlined, personal, and fun wedding with the greatest life partner I could ever imagine, Mr. Swan.
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