Wedding Blog
I feel kinda funny telling my friends what they should wear. Who am I to tell them to buy a $150(ish) dress they might (probably not) wear again? If my bridesmaids want to all wear the same dress, same color, that’s fine by me, but I want them to be comfortable in what they wear to my wedding.
A comfortable bridesmaid is a happy bridesmaid, and a happy bridesmaid is a happy bride! (I know, how self-serving of me.)
Luckily, mismatched bridesmaids dresses are becoming a popular way to inject originality into your wedding day!
This first pic (above) is one of my favorites - everyone’s in a shade of green or blue, and some of them are wearing patterned dresses! It’s all about the effect on the whole. If you stick to just one color, that color might become overpowering. A spectrum of one or two colors, when put together, results in a wonderfully rich palette! Plus, I love how this means that you & the ’maids will look the best when you’re together as a group!
I love how these different shades of olive green look together (above)! I guess when you have Rachel Bilson as your MOH, the fashion’s a no-brainer!
Of course, there are a few guidelines I’lld follow to make sure our “mixed” dresses also “match”.
I’m giving my bridesmaids [near] complete freedom to choose a dress. I am, however, providing them with a suggestion for what I think is a pretty dress, but I’m stressing that they don’t have to buy it. If they end up wearing a dress they already own, more power to them! Whatever makes them happy makes me happy.
Then again, for all I know, they might all show up matching in the same exact dress :).
How do you feel about letting your bridesmaids choose their own dress? Do you have any more suggestions to make unmatched dresses look more matchy?
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Share this post: Letting the ‘Maids Dress Themselves
I love this idea. I only have for BMs, but would love to have it so they each wear a different style and complementary shade. It’s more modern and fun that way!
This is exactly what I’m doing for the exact same reasons. I have 4 very different shaped bridesmaids with 4 very different styles. I told them “green”, and that’s it. They are going to choose everything else: style, length, material, price, everything. I feel like I’m doing them a favor by letting them choose, and they are doing me a huge favor by letting me off the hook for having to coordinate their differences into one look. We are all loving it!
My wedding is this Saturday, and I did this same exact thing. I asked all 6 of my girls to choose a black, short dress that they loved. They are all very fashionable and it looks amazing with them all lined up. I have known forever that I would do this…I always thought it was so strange to have a bunch of girls waddling after you all day all dressed alike. It’s so blah to me to do that. I bought the girls all matching gold heels and earrings, and it really pulled the look together and made it a bit neater. I have to say, the feedback I’ve gotten in the last year has usually been shock and awe, but I can’t wait for them to walk down the aisle.
My girls are picking their own dresses as well, within shades of pastels. I can’t wait to see how they all look together!
Great Post! I’m glad to see others going this non-traditional route. I love the traditional one color/ one dress but I think I might consider asking my girls to choose a dress within a color hue.
My maids did all different grey and they had coordinated Nimli wraps to coordinate. I loved it. 
http://bios.weddingbee.com/topic/mismatched-is-the-way-to-go
I concur with your thoughts, and am doing the same thing with most of my friends! I have two bridesmaid- but I would have chosen any one of my closest gal pals if we had a larger wedding party (& wedding guests in attendance, but we wanted to keep it small). So most of the girls are wearing varying shades of the wedding colors, & are wearing tea length dresses. I don’t care for matchy-matchy myself, which was more the driving force behind it all. ;o) Good post! This has been coming up a lot among other blogs…
Love it! Cookie cutter weddings bore me! While coordination is a good thing (great guideline about length!!) I think it is much more interesting to see a spectrum of style and personality than a reproduced image.
that’s great. it’s a pity to spend on a dress and not wear it again, really. i bought a champagne gold one for a wedding but it’s so not my style so it’s been sitting in my wardrobe since.
when i had bmaids (now nixed. long story.), i told them to get black dresses (knee length-ish) and i would provide a deep red sash to bring the look together.
@JeniRae: that. is. gorgeous!!! i love the simple elegance. you rock!
If I were having bridesmaids, this is what I would have done. I love this photos.
I love this idea. and seriously considered it–even offered it to the maids, but my girls are so unfussy that they actually asked me to choose instead. They told me that shopping for a dress was more hassle than they wanted. So we found a simple knee length chocolate brown dress on sale and they all bought it. They, however, did wear whatever shoes they wanted.
I love these, but I have a different way of doing it. I’m making my girls same colour infinity dresses. This way they can tie them ANY way they like, and still match but have originality. Sadly, the material is uber expensive (20$ per meter) but it’ll be worth it.
I love this idea! The paint chips are a smart move! This is what I was going to do and everyone (bridesmaids included) said that they would be waaay too stressed about about them coordinating etc. (insert eye roll here!) So I chose 2 colors from 1 company and told themt o pick their dresses. It was great! I would say that poppy to lavender is a HUGE range. You might want to stick with one or the other.
I always love this look. And I also like 365’s idea and thought about doing that, too (same dress, different ways to wear it). It’s great when bridesmaids can still be themselves, and not just elements of the decor, with their dresses!
I’m doing the same thing. My fiance and I are almost 30 and it’s crazy to me to ask women in their late 20s to mid 30s to dress alike (no offense to those who do so - it’s just not for me). My colors are bright pink and black, so my maids are wearing whatever black dress they choose below the knee, and I’ve bought them each a bright pink sash to wear as a headband or around their waist.
I love this idea. I have a smaller bridal party, just three bridesmaids. We have all been in countless weddings. So I don’t want them to have something hanging in their closet that they know they will never wear again. I just asked my girls to wear a formal looking black dress, that was either tea length or knee length. Although I really don’t care so much about the length. I asked them to not spend a lot of money on their dress, and to purchase something that they know they will wear again. I don’t really care about the color of the shoes, but I did ask that they have some sort of a heel as we are all pretty short (under 5″5′), and the groomsmen are fairly tall. I just want my girls to be comfortable, and to feel good.
Ha! I wanted to do this! Unfortunately I was out voted by my groom and MOH. They wanted everyone matching. Oh well. I’m rebelling with each girl wearing a different wrap and colored shoes. 
I’m jumping on this bandwagon too! We’re having a casual outdoor wedding, and this just “fits.” Can’t wait to see what your (and my) girls pick!
I only have 2 attendants, and they’re wearing different, though complementary, dresses. My MOH bought hers in a stunning shade of emerald green. My other BM will be making hers. We’re going to go fabric shopping and settle on a design after my MOH gets her alterations done. FI and I are having a black-tie weddings, so I think the dresses should be pretty close in color, if not exact, but the styles are going to be distinctly different.
I LOVE the idea of intentionally mismatched attendants. My FI loves it too. I”m having the darndest time convincing my mom though!
I sometimes wish I had done this. Although, it probably wouldn’t have looked right with my theme…
I absolutely adore that last photo! My four bridesmaids will be in varying little black dresses (tea length) all different style and if they can find black and white patterned ones even better. I’m an ebay fantastic and am helping find awesome dresses really cheap. Already have the first one that I got for $20. It’s the perfect cut for Bridesmaid V and and we are gonna add a white lace sash to the middle. I’m also having 3 B-List Beyotch’s (basically they are bridesmaids w/ flowers and everything but they don’t have to walk) and they will be in varying yellow dresses. I’m so excited to see the complete picture ones everyone is outfitted
I’m doing this for my wedding and while I still LOVE the idea, it’s turning out to be more complicated than originally planned due to a BM that’s kind of taking her time to find a dress. It’s stressing me out!! I know she means well and she’s really short so it’s difficult for her, but I need her to hurry and I have no idea of how to deal w/ it. I’ve given her suggestion after suggestion and have given approval on multiple dresses she’s picked out and she still doesn’t have one. Just make sure you give them (and yourself) plenty of time to avoid this situation
@Megan: yeah, I realize this has the potential to get complicated, but really, I just want them to show up looking nice. Any dress would be nice. I trust them to prettify themselves well enough
@caitlanc: That’s too bad you got voted against! Even your groom cared about matching colors? crazy!
i would give them more input than rustic red poppy and faded lavender. Those are kind of hard colors to find. Can’t you just say red and light purple?
Thank you miss Bear Cub, now I don’t know what to do with my ‘maids! lol
the second to last picture is definitely my favorite! lol probably because i’m using pink!
My groom also hates this idea. I have 4 girls with different body types (busty or not becoming the main style decision factor). Two of which love strapless and two do not for above reasons. I gave them two alternatives in the same color and fabric and as expected two choose strapless and two chose the one with straps and FI thought this would look weird. Why do boys think they understand dresses?
Are any of you who are letting your girls shop on their own reserving veto power? I would worry a bit if I had a larger party all shopping independently that someone may stick out in a bad way.
I have asked my bridesmaid to get any dress they want as long as its from one of my theme colors (peacock colors … blue, green & purple) and is tealength. I did that because I wanted them to get a dress they would wear after the wedding… And I don’t like the idea of a uniformed army of bridesmaids
I love this!!!
P.S.- Does anyone know where the bride in Rachel Bilson’s picture got her dress???
We did this with shades of blue. We got married in Maui, where we live, and didn’t want it to cost any more than it already did for our wedding party. Two of my BMs were pregnant, and all 4 had very different shapes and coloring. It worked out great - two got their dresses for ultra-cheap at Marshalls, and no one ended up with an expensive, useless dress. It looked great, too - this was one of the wedding decisions that I was happiest with. Our “colors” were blue (hubby insisted) and the red, orange, hot pink, and yellow that are natural with the tropical; flowers here. The whole thing had a really beachy, relaxed feel.
Oh - ps - Send them the pics. When I first decided, they were a little like “but we don’t know what you mean.” I sent them a link to many of the pics above (just google non matching bridesmaid) and then they were like “Aaaahhhhhaaaaa, now i see what you’re going for…”
I love the look of a variety of dresses. My bridesmaids are wearing whatever black dresses they choose iindividually– I think we’ll end up with a nice mix. I’m having a black tie optional evening wedding, but I don’t mind if they choose knee-length dresses. For me, the fact that a shorter cocktail dress will be more rewearable for my maids trumps any concern with needing them to be long just for formality’s sake.
We are doing this as well, but I’m a little scared because I made the mistake of telling them that the “honeydew” color might be the only green that worked at David’s, since some of them wanted to shop there (why???) and now 3 of 6 have dresses in that color. Won’t be too bad if the other 3 go different, but if 1 or 2 of them get the same, I’m afraid it could look like the 1 or 2 without the same color weren’t paying attention or something! We’ll see… The day is quickly approaching and my MOH hasn’t even decided on a dress yet - EeeK!
I think this little bit of stress due to the unknown is better than the major stress it would have been for me to find a style that would have worked for 6 girls in 4 different states with 6 very different body types and budgets, though!!!
@Andrea: I gave them a lot of paint chips in the colors that coordinate with our palette, and several suggestions of dresses that would work. So far, they have bought the suggested dresses (jcrew) in different colors (redish and brownish).
Definitely doing the same thing - my friends aren’t clones, so why should they look like it? Plus, it saves them money. Happy bridesmaids = happy bride = happy day!
I really like this idea! I’ve been thinking about doing it, too, but am not sure yet. Have to run it by my FI and MOH and see what they think.
I love the way this looks but as I’m only having two maids I think it would end up being confusing rather than cute. I think I’ll probably have them in the exact same color but not worry about the cut. Since I’m only dealing with my sister and FSIL I don’t think it will be too difficult
i love the non-matched look! i gave my bms a color and a length (green and knee) and after that it’s up to them! there all have such different styles and body types that it seems silly to have them wear the same dress. plus i loooove the way it looks to have them look tied together by color, but each reflecting their own individual styles. yay!
Can’t wait to see them all together! It will look fabulous!!
I think this is a great idea. I also wanted a non-matched look, although we opted for black dresses. My BM ordered black dresses from JCrew of their choosing, and they were pretty happy about it. In fact, they were all able to get them on final sale, which was even better.
I think giving the gals paint-chips so that they have an idea of color scheme is a great one. Sometimes colors can be harder to match, so I think that’s a great guideline.
I’m so anxious to see all the dresses together. I gave my ladies a designer and fabric and about 6 dresses to choose from. 3 chose the same! The other three are in different styles. They are all different lengths. I’m also anxious to see how they accessorize and the shoes they pick. I think its such a nice way to show off the women in my life and their own personal style.
I really love the idea of having bridesmaids in different dresses, varying shades of the color, even different material. Allows each bridemaid to express themselves and feel fantastic. I have 3 maids and am sure they will apreciate being able to wear something they will love without being matchy matchy. love the pics !!!
I go back and forth on matching or letting the bridesmaids choos,e I love it whenever I see the mix and match, but I’m just so traditional, I can’t help but lean towards the matching.
Or you can do what I did - each girl was in a different color dress, all dresses were by different designers too. Only sitipulations is that they had to satin and above the knee.
Love it when they wear different dresses!! My girls are all wearing different dresses in the same color. I wanted to go with different shades too, but J wasn’t into it. It would have been even easier!
My only requirements for my bridesmaids was a tea length black dress. I remember the day of the wedding sitting in the limo and realized I never saw their dresses until that moment. It was a perfect solution because they chose dresses that they would wear again.
I don’t know if this adds or detracts from the credibility of your idea, but in the Queen of Babble series, the title character gives out wedding advice and one of her tips is to allow the ‘maids to each choose her own dress (style or color).
@Barefoot in the Kitchen: definitely adds to the credibility
I am doing this with my BMs, but they are making it a lot more complicated. They all seem to wish they had more guidance and are worried they will chose something I don’t like, even though I keep on saying I will like whatever they choose. I said they needed to choose knee-length mostly-yellow dresses and sent them examples/ideas but I think they are going to make me narrow it down to a couple options. Oh well!
I do think in the 4th and last picture, there is a maid in each that stands out in a bad way by basically wearing white.
I LOVE that second-to-last photo, when I first saw it I reconsidered my color scheme! And here’s to bridesmaids not being forced to look like clones!
[...] All of my bridesmaids are scattered across the states. I really had to give them a lot of information in a little letter - long distance coordination is crazy! I gave them the dates of the wedding, the wedding location (if they didn’t already know), dates to be in town (for fun BM outings!), the color palette, a BM coordination website, email addresses for the other BMs, and attire suggestions. [...]
You are a great bride- and I would love to be in your wedding. I’m in a wedding now where we have the (exact) same $150 dress and $50 shoes- both purple. Purple dress, fine whatever, but let me choose my own shoes for goodness sakes. Personally- I’ve had 4 ankle shoes and can’t afford to fool around! I’m going to be a little less laizze-faire than you (I’m not as cool, I wish though), I’ll be picking a couple colors from J. Crew and letting them pick their style dress. Also- I’ll just ask that they wear a neutral shoe. They’re my best friends and I love them. I want them to be pretty and feel pretty, not like clones.
I chose chocolate brown for my BMs, and two of them were in brown weddings within the last 18 months. I told them they could wear their dresses again (yay!) or get new ones if they preferred. To give them a cohesive look, I told them all to wear flip flops and I’m giving them matching jewelry.
haha I’m glad I’m not the only one here who loved this idea from the beginning but is finding some resistance from the bridal party! I really thought my ladies would naturally choose different styles, but they all ended up choosing the same dress and I had to kind of push them to choose different colors/patterns! We’re having them made by an Etsy seller, I think they’re going to look lovely - but I still kinda wish they had gone wild and chosen really different dresses.. but the whole point is to make them feel comfortable so if this is what they want, I’m happy!
Also I have to agree with some here that sometimes giving a ton of freedom is stressful on the maids - I was in my sister’s wedding and at one point she said we should just all go out and buy sundresses and she doesn’t care what they look like. That really stressed me out, “sundress” could mean so many different things and I didn’t want to ruin her wedding.. In the end she chose one dress in one style that we all had to wear in the same color.. and it looked lovely. But I will never ever wear that dress again.
[...] if the slacks don’t match perfectly, it won’t really matter - the bridesmaids are already mis-matchy; I’m not going to lose sleep over different shades of [...]
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Mrs. Cub, Chile/Portland
Age and Occupation: 26, Astronomer
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Astronomer
Engagement Date: May 10, 2008
Wedding Date: September 2009
Venue: Westwind YWCA camp
About Me: I'm a small-town girl who's making a living in Chile, with her heart in the Pacific Northwest. I grew up in Southern California, went to high school in Texas, grad school in New Mexico, and now I can't wait to settle down in Oregon! I love pears, hazelnuts,
knitting, traveling, running, baking, and long talks on the phone with
good friends. I'm planning my Oregon coast summer camp wedding while
abroad with my best friend - I'm always at home when I'm with him!
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