Letting the ‘Maids Dress Themselves

Letting the ‘Maids Dress Themselves

June 7th, 2009 @ 6:40 pm by Mrs. Bear Cub
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I feel kinda funny telling my friends what they should wear. Who am I to tell them to buy a $150(ish) dress they might (probably not) wear again? If my bridesmaids want to all wear the same dress, same color, that’s fine by me, but I want them to be comfortable in what they wear to my wedding.

A comfortable bridesmaid is a happy bridesmaid, and a happy bridesmaid is a happy bride! (I know, how self-serving of me.)

Luckily, mismatched bridesmaids dresses are becoming a popular way to inject originality into your wedding day!

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This first pic (above) is one of my favorites - everyone’s in a shade of green or blue, and some of them are wearing patterned dresses! It’s all about the effect on the whole. If you stick to just one color, that color might become overpowering. A spectrum of one or two colors, when put together, results in a wonderfully rich palette! Plus, I love how this means that you & the ’maids will look the best when you’re together as a group!

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I love how these different shades of olive green look together (above)! I guess when you have Rachel Bilson as your MOH, the fashion’s a no-brainer!

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Of course, there are a few guidelines I’lld follow to make sure our “mixed” dresses also “match”.

They’ll wear the same length dress. Whether it’s short, long, tea-length - whatever - the length of the dress dictates the formality.
We won’t stray too far from a simple color palette. I basically have two colors in my palette - rustic red poppy and faded lavender. Since we’re getting married outdoors, espresso is a natural option for a “base” color. I’m telling my girls that they should try to find a dress that’s in the spectrum between these three warm colors. *Bonus! Send your girls paint chips from the hardware store! This makes the color-selection a no-brainer.
We don’t need to match necklines. This will come as a relief to my bustier gal-pals!
We don’t need to match fabric type.
It’s okay to mix florals with solids with patterns. In the end, it will look purposefully unmatchy-matchy!
Though not necessary, matching shoes can bring the entire ensemble together! I’m not asking my ’maids to do this, though.

I’m giving my bridesmaids [near] complete freedom to choose a dress. I am, however, providing them with a suggestion for what I think is a pretty dress, but I’m stressing that they don’t have to buy it. If they end up wearing a dress they already own, more power to them! Whatever makes them happy makes me happy.

Then again, for all I know, they might all show up matching in the same exact dress :).

How do you feel about letting your bridesmaids choose their own dress? Do you have any more suggestions to make unmatched dresses look more matchy?

Tags: bridesmaid-dress |

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61 Responses to “Letting the ‘Maids Dress Themselves”

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Bee

Miss Argyle (message) 2,516 posts, Sugar bee

I love this idea. I only have for BMs, but would love to have it so they each wear a different style and complementary shade. It’s more modern and fun that way!

6/7/09 @ 6:44 pm (reply)

Member

JennyBryde (message) 1,168 posts, Bumble bee

This is exactly what I’m doing for the exact same reasons. I have 4 very different shaped bridesmaids with 4 very different styles. I told them “green”, and that’s it. They are going to choose everything else: style, length, material, price, everything. I feel like I’m doing them a favor by letting them choose, and they are doing me a huge favor by letting me off the hook for having to coordinate their differences into one look. We are all loving it!

6/7/09 @ 6:45 pm (reply)

Guest

Naomi

My wedding is this Saturday, and I did this same exact thing. I asked all 6 of my girls to choose a black, short dress that they loved. They are all very fashionable and it looks amazing with them all lined up. I have known forever that I would do this…I always thought it was so strange to have a bunch of girls waddling after you all day all dressed alike. It’s so blah to me to do that. I bought the girls all matching gold heels and earrings, and it really pulled the look together and made it a bit neater. I have to say, the feedback I’ve gotten in the last year has usually been shock and awe, but I can’t wait for them to walk down the aisle.

6/7/09 @ 6:48 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Powder Puff (message) 881 posts, Busy bee

My girls are picking their own dresses as well, within shades of pastels. I can’t wait to see how they all look together!

6/7/09 @ 6:52 pm (reply)

Member

charlieken (message) 61 posts, Worker bee

Great Post! I’m glad to see others going this non-traditional route. I love the traditional one color/ one dress but I think I might consider asking my girls to choose a dress within a color hue.

6/7/09 @ 6:53 pm (reply)

Member

JeniRae (message) 1,127 posts, Bumble bee

My maids did all different grey and they had coordinated Nimli wraps to coordinate. I loved it.

http://bios.weddingbee.com/topic/mismatched-is-the-way-to-go

6/7/09 @ 7:01 pm (reply)

Member

Sparkles (message) 706 posts, Busy bee

I concur with your thoughts, and am doing the same thing with most of my friends! I have two bridesmaid- but I would have chosen any one of my closest gal pals if we had a larger wedding party (& wedding guests in attendance, but we wanted to keep it small). So most of the girls are wearing varying shades of the wedding colors, & are wearing tea length dresses. I don’t care for matchy-matchy myself, which was more the driving force behind it all. ;o) Good post! This has been coming up a lot among other blogs…

6/7/09 @ 7:06 pm (reply)

Guest

Elizabeth

Love it! Cookie cutter weddings bore me! While coordination is a good thing (great guideline about length!!) I think it is much more interesting to see a spectrum of style and personality than a reproduced image.

6/7/09 @ 7:09 pm (reply)

Member

mrspaetz (message) 3,805 posts, Honey bee

that’s great. it’s a pity to spend on a dress and not wear it again, really. i bought a champagne gold one for a wedding but it’s so not my style so it’s been sitting in my wardrobe since.

when i had bmaids (now nixed. long story.), i told them to get black dresses (knee length-ish) and i would provide a deep red sash to bring the look together.

6/7/09 @ 7:16 pm (reply)

10.

Member

mrspaetz (message) 3,805 posts, Honey bee

@JeniRae: that. is. gorgeous!!! i love the simple elegance. you rock!

6/7/09 @ 7:17 pm (reply)

11.

Bee

Miss Swan (message) 1,046 posts, Bumble bee

If I were having bridesmaids, this is what I would have done. I love this photos.

6/7/09 @ 7:17 pm (reply)

12.

Guest

turtle

I love this idea. and seriously considered it–even offered it to the maids, but my girls are so unfussy that they actually asked me to choose instead. They told me that shopping for a dress was more hassle than they wanted. So we found a simple knee length chocolate brown dress on sale and they all bought it. They, however, did wear whatever shoes they wanted.

6/7/09 @ 7:35 pm (reply)

13.

Member

365 (message) 238 posts, Helper bee

I love these, but I have a different way of doing it. I’m making my girls same colour infinity dresses. This way they can tie them ANY way they like, and still match but have originality. Sadly, the material is uber expensive (20$ per meter) but it’ll be worth it.

6/7/09 @ 7:40 pm (reply)

14.

Member

mdarrah (message) 1,205 posts, Bumble bee

I love this idea! The paint chips are a smart move! This is what I was going to do and everyone (bridesmaids included) said that they would be waaay too stressed about about them coordinating etc. (insert eye roll here!) So I chose 2 colors from 1 company and told themt o pick their dresses. It was great! I would say that poppy to lavender is a HUGE range. You might want to stick with one or the other.

6/7/09 @ 7:48 pm (reply)

15.

Bee

Miss Spaniel (message) 6,792 posts, Bee Keeper

I always love this look. And I also like 365’s idea and thought about doing that, too (same dress, different ways to wear it). It’s great when bridesmaids can still be themselves, and not just elements of the decor, with their dresses!

6/7/09 @ 8:04 pm (reply)

16.

Member

princetonbride (message) 127 posts, Blushing bee

I’m doing the same thing. My fiance and I are almost 30 and it’s crazy to me to ask women in their late 20s to mid 30s to dress alike (no offense to those who do so - it’s just not for me). My colors are bright pink and black, so my maids are wearing whatever black dress they choose below the knee, and I’ve bought them each a bright pink sash to wear as a headband or around their waist.

6/7/09 @ 8:13 pm (reply)

17.

Member

nicolejaxon (message) 32 posts, Newbee

I love this idea. I have a smaller bridal party, just three bridesmaids. We have all been in countless weddings. So I don’t want them to have something hanging in their closet that they know they will never wear again. I just asked my girls to wear a formal looking black dress, that was either tea length or knee length. Although I really don’t care so much about the length. I asked them to not spend a lot of money on their dress, and to purchase something that they know they will wear again. I don’t really care about the color of the shoes, but I did ask that they have some sort of a heel as we are all pretty short (under 5″5′), and the groomsmen are fairly tall. I just want my girls to be comfortable, and to feel good.

6/7/09 @ 8:28 pm (reply)

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Member

caitlanc (message) 2,084 posts, Buzzing bee

Ha! I wanted to do this! Unfortunately I was out voted by my groom and MOH. They wanted everyone matching. Oh well. I’m rebelling with each girl wearing a different wrap and colored shoes.

6/7/09 @ 8:55 pm (reply)

19.

Member

bananapants (message) 138 posts, Blushing bee

I’m jumping on this bandwagon too! We’re having a casual outdoor wedding, and this just “fits.” Can’t wait to see what your (and my) girls pick!

6/7/09 @ 8:59 pm (reply)

20.

Guest

Jamie

I only have 2 attendants, and they’re wearing different, though complementary, dresses. My MOH bought hers in a stunning shade of emerald green. My other BM will be making hers. We’re going to go fabric shopping and settle on a design after my MOH gets her alterations done. FI and I are having a black-tie weddings, so I think the dresses should be pretty close in color, if not exact, but the styles are going to be distinctly different.

I LOVE the idea of intentionally mismatched attendants. My FI loves it too. I”m having the darndest time convincing my mom though!

6/7/09 @ 9:39 pm (reply)

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