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Mrs. Cub, Chile/Portland Age and Occupation: 26, Astronomer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Astronomer Engagement Date: May 10, 2008 Wedding Date: September 2009 Venue: Westwind YWCA camp About Me: I'm a small-town girl who's making a living in Chile, with her heart in the Pacific Northwest. I grew up in Southern California, went to high school in Texas, grad school in New Mexico, and now I can't wait to settle down in Oregon! I love pears, hazelnuts, knitting, traveling, running, baking, and long talks on the phone with good friends. I'm planning my Oregon coast summer camp wedding while abroad with my best friend - I'm always at home when I'm with him!
About Mrs. Bear Cub

Happy Wife, Happy Life

June 9th, 2009 @ 1:27 pm by Mrs. Bear Cub

This is the mantra of Mr. Cubbie’s sister, bridesmaid T. It’s so true! Say it with me, now:

Happy wife, happy life!

Doesn’t that just make you smile? :)

Mr. Cubbie [thankfully] likes to follow this saying. He truly does love to make me happy - even when it means I ask him to read the Offbeat Bride book.

*Note - being caught reading a book about brides is not considered “cool” by most guys!

source

For those brides out there who are perfectly fine with their taffeta-filled weddings, I think that’s fantastic! This book isn’t so much about filling your wedding with quirky details, and nixing the favors, it’s about empowerment over creating the wedding you dream of. And it’s hilarious, to boot!

There are just so many things some guys don’t get when it comes to weddings.

Our most recent thing is invitations. I want pretty, letterpressed plantable paper invitations that will turn into a keepsake framed in our home. He wants to send out emails. Sometimes it’s hard to feel like you have to justify things in your wedding that you know aren’t actually crucial. (Would people still come to our wedding if we sent emails? Probably yes. Is letterpress awesome? Drool.)

We’ve been planning our wedding since May 2008. In those thirteen (!!!) months, I’ve thrown a lot of ideas his way, most of which didn’t even register. Example - there’s an awesome meadow at Westwind overlooking the ocean. Even if we can’t do our ceremony there (it’s about a mile hike!), we could still do a sunset toast for those who can make the trek. Mr. Cubbie didn’t quite “get” the idea of having a second ceremonial-type thing.

When he went to Switzerland a few weeks ago, I sent him packed with the Offbeat Bride book. He read the whole thing while away, and now he can’t stop talking about how hilarious it is! And he approached me the other day to tell me he thinks we should have a ring-warming ceremony and a sunset toast (the author talks about hers in her book). I laughed! And then he said, “You already suggested this… didn’t you?”

He’s a changed man! Now that wedding planning isn’t so alien to him, he’s coming to me with all sorts of ideas for the planning! Wedding planning is now approachable for him, and that means he’s involved a lot more. And that makes his future wife very happy. And his life all the more happy.

What do you think of the mantra “Happy wife, happy life”? How have you successfully gotten you fiancé involved in the planning process? Is he coming to you with ideas, or has it been a bit of a struggle?

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13 Responses to “Happy Wife, Happy Life”

1.
Miss Mary Jane
Bee
Miss Mary Jane (message)  1,516 posts, Bumble bee

Hah! Awesome that he read the book. Isn’t it funny how so many wedding things are somehow “common knowledge” to females?

 
2.
JennyBryde
Member
JennyBryde (message)  1,148 posts, Bumble bee

It was a struggle in the beginning to a point where I just tabled all wedding discussions for months. (We had a 22 month engagement.) After a while of me not bringing things up, my fiance started getting interested about things and asking questions. Go figure. Now he’s alright with giving his two cents.

 
3.
Melissabegins
Member
Melissabegins (message)  845 posts, Busy bee

I think that saying is pretty wise.. both in wedding planning, and life! I’ll pass it along to my man. Ultimately, my fiance and I make decisions together, but really, I would say that he has his priorities (music, food, transport) and the rest is essentially up to me. That’s not to say that it’s all in my hands - he will help with anything I ask for, and vice versa. I feel very fortunate!

 
4.
mary-alice-me
Member
mary-alice-me (message)  1,870 posts, Buzzing bee

My man wasn’t too interested in planning, or in reading the book, but I always jump on any idea he shows interest in! Luckily, I was able to impress him with a few things and he helped out making phone calls and reviewing contracts. I guess you could say he was doing this to keep me happy!

 
5.
FlipFlopBride
Member
FlipFlopBride (message)  1,305 posts, Bumble bee

I was at Barnes & Noble today and almost bought that book. I guess I’m gonna have to go back for it! I don’t think FI would read it, but if I could feed him snippets, maybe it will have some effect on him.

 
6.
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Guest
Julia-Gulia

Ahhh Offbeat Bride where would I be without you? My fiance picked it up on his own a couple of months ago and asked me in horror about the “humanure.” He thought that the author’s wedding was the wedding I wanted and I had to explain to him that is was about empowerment and the journey of planning a wedding that is really the reflection of who we are together. He got it and now reads my blog on Offbeat Bride Tribe regularly which amuses me to no end.

 
7.
Carbon Girl
Member
Carbon Girl (message)  428 posts, Helper bee

I wish my FI was more involved. He is with some things but others, like inivitations he couldn’t care less about. Maybe it was because I changed my mind about invitations 50 times already . . .

 
8.
WorstTwinEver15
Member
WorstTwinEver15 (message)  758 posts, Busy bee

I love the Offbeat Bride book and blog! Although I’m not quite as “offbeat” as a lot of the brides on the blog, I love reading the book and blog for inspiration and ideas!

 
9.
mrspaetz
Member
mrspaetz (message)  1,707 posts, Bumble bee

My man goes by that mantra too - his uncle says it quite often and it always cracks us up.

my FH kicked into action on wedding things after we crossed the 30 day mark and it finally dawned on him that it’s happening!!

 
10.
MissBookworm
Member
MissBookworm (message)  271 posts, Helper bee

Mines still lost…. I’m buying this book. Even if I have to follow him around and read it out loud!

 
11.
Miss Bear Cub
Bee
Miss Bear Cub (message)  1,351 posts, Bumble bee

@mrspaetz: wow - 30 days until the wedding he got into it? haha! :)

 
12.
Miss Calculator
Member
Miss Calculator (message)  37 posts, Newbee

I had to laugh at the title of this post!! For those of you who aren’t die-hard Bravo fans like I am, this saying is played constantly in ads for the Real Housewives of New Jersey. Being from Philly, we have a quasi-rivalry with the state of NJ, so my friends and I think it’s hilarious the way this woman says it! (No offense to all you NJ brides out there - I’m sure you could never top the ridiculousness of the Housewives!)

 
13.
Guest Icon
Guest
Vee

Hahaha, my fiance is the same way. I’ve heard, “You want to pay HOW MUCH for a photographer?!? But our friends have cameras…” and “Open WHAT?!? Uh, no…” so many times I could scream. It is hard to justify a lot of this stuff, but after he told me our budget was $4,000, I just laughed and decided I’d deal with the big stuff myself =)

 


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Mrs. Bear Cub
Mrs. Bear Cub Mrs. Cub, Chile/Portland Age and Occupation: 26, Astronomer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Astronomer Engagement Date: May 10, 2008 Wedding Date: September 2009 Venue: Westwind YWCA camp About Me: I'm a small-town girl who's making a living in Chile, with her heart in the Pacific Northwest. I grew up in Southern California, went to high school in Texas, grad school in New Mexico, and now I can't wait to settle down in Oregon! I love pears, hazelnuts, knitting, traveling, running, baking, and long talks on the phone with good friends. I'm planning my Oregon coast summer camp wedding while abroad with my best friend - I'm always at home when I'm with him!
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