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Mrs. Penguin, Northern California Age and Occupation: 27, Weddingbee Editor in Chief Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Doctor of Physical Therapy Engagement Date: January 29, 2007 Wedding Date: June 7, 2008 Blogging Since: September 14, 2007 Venue: Winery in the Gold Country About Me: I love the Spice Girls, dogs with underbites, bean burritos, making messes, high fives, avoiding showers, crossword puzzles, blogs, weddings, and blogs about weddings!
About Mrs. Penguin

Talking budget was the hardest thing when it came to our wedding. After I came off of the high of getting engaged, I realized that there was a very real possibility that my parents would not contribute in a large way to our wedding. Even the least expensive “traditional” weddings cost entirely more than I think either of my parents would have anticipated. When my grandmother passed, she left me a little money that I put away for a very long time; I intended to use it toward my wedding one day in the future. Instead, we bought our condo 2 years prior to the wedding, and that money was gone. I avoided the subject of money entirely. We talked about the details of the wedding with my parents—what kind of wedding we envisioned, how many guests, etc., but we didn’t discuss money. I didn’t have the heart to bring it up, and I figured if my parents never brought it up, then we’d just find a way to pay for it ourselves. I was positive my parents would gift us some amount of money for our wedding, I just wasn’t sure how much. All the while, my parents both made a ton of noise about how in Thailand, it is the responsibility of the groom to pay for the wedding (don’t know how much of this is true, but my parents liked to say it OVER and OVER again). With that, I just decided not to really talk about it.

One day, my dad finally blurted it out: “How much money do you think your wedding is going to cost?” At this point, we were already talking winery wedding. I asked him how much he thought it was going to cost. He guessed $5,000. (Honestly, if I’d never talked about or attended a traditional “bells and whistles” wedding in my adult life at that point in time, I’d have probably guessed the same.)

I didn’t know what to say, other than that I figured it was going to cost a lot more than that. So, he guessed $10,000. Uncomfortable as hell, I just said that it was probably going to cost way more than he was ever going to be comfortable knowing about. He finally told us that he and my mom were going to gift us $15,000, and that we were to do with it whatever we wished. Buy a car, pay down our mortgage, have a wedding, whatever. I think he was hoping we’d pay down our mortgage. Of course, we didn’t.

In the end, we were so grateful for the gift, and I fully intended to spend whatever it took over that amount to have the wedding that we wanted to have. I guessed it would cost us $25K, and so I was prepared to spend $10K of my own money to make it happen, while Mr. Penguin was assigned to take care of the cost of the honeymoon and rehearsal dinner (a combination of his own money and generous gifts from his own parents).

So there it was. A $25K budget for a private winery wedding in rural Northern California.

I think the real wedding features are so beautiful here on Weddingbee, so I’m setting my post up very much like one, except it’s probably way less fun because you’ve all already seen most of these pictures. But I hope seeing the money laid out alongside the pictures helps!

Date: 6/7/2008
City, State: Plymouth, CA (near Sacramento)
Budget: $25K ($15K gift from my parents, $10K out of pocket)
# of Guests: 120

Wedding Day Costs

Ceremony Site Fees/Type of Venue: included in reception, Winery

Reception Site Fees/Type of Venue: $6500, Winery - It was important to me that wherever we had our wedding, that the site was completely closed to the public. I envisioned a private estate, winery, or a restaurant completely rented out for our wedding party. $6500 was a lot more than I wanted to spend for a venue, but worth it for the complete privacy. Our venue was really good about letting us do whatever we felt like doing, and had very few rules and restrictions, including letting us come and store random wedding stuff in an extra room of theirs throughout the week, letting us leave the venue a mess the night of so we could clean up the next morning instead, and allowing our dog to celebrate with us. :)

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Caterer/Food/Drink (per person if available): $110 per person ($13,200) - The event was catered by the winery, and worked out well. The process was pretty low-stress. They included 1/2 bottle of wine per adult person in the food fee, and we brought our own beer and soft drinks.

Service Charge/Gratuities: Included

Bridal Gown & Alterations: $2400 - I wore a Jim Hjelm JH8657. I wish I’d spent more time dress shopping! I really hated dress shopping, but looking back, wish I tried on more than 5 dresses!

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Bridal Accessories (Veil, Undergarments, Shoes, Jewelry): (veil borrowed), $100 for rest - My veil was beautiful, and generously lent to me by my step SIL. There was no way I could afford a veil that gorgeous.

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My shoes were by Guess. To be honest, I thought they were a little “cheap” looking for my wedding look. I loved the color and the height, although the gold heel wasn’t great, but I just got tired of shoe searching at some point. The pop of color did look great under my dress, but these aren’t exactly shoes I’ll “treasure”. Not gonna lie, wish I had bought a fab pair of Jimmy Choos or Louboutins. I’m not a huge “shoe” person, but if I was ever going to splurge on a ridiculously priced pair of shoes, our wedding day was gonna be the day. I’m sure at the time I would have felt totally guilty about such a purchase.

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These were $6 earrings I randomly found somewhere. I don’t really wear jewelry. I lost them on the night of the wedding, and didn’t really care.

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Groom’s Attire: $120 -Men’s Wearhouse, what what. Technically, the tux was free with the purchase of the groomsmen’s tuxes, but we gave the free tux to Mr. Peng’s brother who was in school during our wedding and would have appreciated the free-ness more than we would have. I wish the men wore suits, but with the logistics of suits (I knew not everyone had a black or grey suit, and coordinating a buying effort was totally not something I wanted to do with groomsmen in New York and LA) it was just easier to have everyone wear tuxes.

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Stationery/Postage: $800 -Save the dates, invitations, programs, menus… all homemade, all pretty budget friendly.

Save the date magnet

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Boxed invitations, homemade

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Programs

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Menus

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Photography: $3100 (2008 pricing) including travel fees and accommodations for 2 shooters from LA - Sarah K. Chen had 6 weddings under her belt at the time we booked her (and several more by the time she shot our wedding). I LOVED her! Finding someone talented but somewhat new to the business was a great way to save money. Ask everyone you know if they know anyone, search the internet, even check Craigslist… there is always someone upcoming and very talented out there with great rates.

Videography: Free - A client of mine and an ex wedding videographer shot our wedding.

Ceremony Music: None - Our DJ played music for our ceremony.

Reception Music: $250 (DJ friend)

Flowers: $800 -Huckleberry Karen provided all the bouquets, moms’ bouquets, and bouts. She bought the orchids and leaves for our centerpieces, and a few good friends set up the centerpieces on the day of. Sparse flower decor saved us a lot of money. We used peonies and orchids for the bouquets, and orchids for centerpieces.

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Favors: $150 - Goccoed coaster favors with jellybeans

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Cake: both Bride’s cake and Groom’s cake $550

Our bride’s cake baker, Ingrid Fraser, is a well seasoned dessert maker, who supplies desserts to many of the restaurants in Amador. The cake tasted amazing, subtly sweet, and so rich! Our groom’s cake was made by an absolutely incredible “crazy” cake maker, Crazy Cake Company in Davis, CA. She can seriously make ANYTHING 3D—something that I didn’t think was available in the Sacramento area.

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Officiant: Friend

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Coordinator: none

Hair/Makeup: $350 - I had my hair blown out at a local salon, and then Lisa Deniz from Bobbi Brown in Roseville came out to my parents’ house with all her makeup gear. It was really great to get my makeup done at home, when I had so many things to do that day.

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Wedding Party Gifts: $1000

Transportation: $1200 - We rented 2 coach buses to take our guests from the hotel to the venue and back again. I rode with my photographer to the wedding, and back to the hotel on the bus. We discussed a limo, but seriously, I thought it was going to be a huge waste! I’m glad we didn’t get a limo… because our ceremony and reception was in one place, we really would have only rode in it for a few miles.

Hotels: $160 - Holiday Inn Express, baby. No shame.

Misc: Thai wedding dress and Mr. Peng’s Thai wedding jacket - $1000

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WEDDING DAY TOTAL: $31,680
TOTAL COST PER PERSON: $264
(divide wedding day total by # of guests)

All Inclusive Costs:

Wedding Bands: $1500

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Rehearsal Dinner/Day After Brunch: RD - $4000

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Honeymoon: $5500 - Airfare and 10 nights at all-inclusive Excellence Playa Mujeres, Mexico

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ALL INCLUSIVE TOTAL: $11,000

GRAND TOTAL: $42,680
(wedding day total + all inclusive total)

~~~

WHERE WE SAVED:

  • Keeping it all inclusive - The venue, staff, food, linens—everything was all inclusive. While it may not sound like savings, it closed the door for us to think about splurging on “extras”—there were no options for fancy linens, interesting china patterns, extra meal courses, etc. We wrote a check, and we got a set meal, white linens, full wait and bar staff. I think in the end, it saved us money.
  • LOTS of DIY - I really do think we saved a lot of money doing DIY, because I think if I bought, I would have splurged on letterpress.
  • New talent and lots of help from friends - Our photographer was uber talented and somewhat new to the game, and so was our groom’s cake baker. This translated to cheaper pricing over seasoned pros. Our DJ, and videographer were our friends, and the setup was done by friends and family. Mr. Peng, some family members, and I cleaned up the wedding the next morning on our own.
  • Buying bridesmaid dresses online (House of Brides) - I didn’t pay for these, but this translated to big savings for my BMs.
  • Our sendoff brunch was at my parents’ house, and they took care of the expenses.
  • Having our wedding near my hometown saved us a lot of money on travel, logistics, and storage, because we used my parents’ house as a home base.

WHERE WE SPLURGED:

  • Having a private winery wedding isn’t exactly cheap. A $6500 site fee and over $13K in food could have been cheaper if we held our wedding in the off season, and were able to serve a less fancy meal.
  • The Thai Water Ceremony - I didn’t expect the dress to cost so much. At the risk of sounding selfish, I was a little bummed I had to pay for this dress. My parents were really enthusiastic about this portion of the wedding, and of course they had given us a generous cash gift, so I was happy to oblige, but it ended up being a huge extra cost.
  • My dress - I’m just not really a $2400 dress kind of person. I don’t really cherish my dress, so $2400 is kind of a ridiculous amount of money to spend on something that I wasn’t that excited about.

WHY WE WENT OVER INITIAL BUDGET:

  • Splurging on our honeymoon. I think we did OK with our budget for the wedding day. With my parents’ $15K gift and my willingness to spend $10K out of my own pocket, we went slightly over budget on the wedding day. I did buy a TON of craft crap that I do actually use after the wedding, so that’s OK.
  • I anticipated we’d have 90-100 guests, but ended out maxing our guest list at 120 (venue capacity). If we had kept our guest list to 90 people, we would have saved over $3K.
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I hope this helps any of you with an approximate $30K budget for your day-of wedding.  I know we could have spiced it all up a bit more with more elaborate florals, and hiring more professionals (I wish I had a DOC). But overall, that is all in the past, and I don’t think I would have looked back on the day any differently with fancier bouquets, and more professionals handling our details. We had a great time, and planning the wedding was a stressful but rewarding experience!

Cheers!

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All professional day of photos: Sarah K. Chen
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41 Responses to “Real Bee Budgets: The Penguins’ Winery Wedding in Rural Northern CA”

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1.
Gerbera
Member
Gerbera (message)  4,481 posts, Honey bee

Mrs. Peng,
I very much want a simple Vineyard Wedding like you did and gosh it’s way more expensive than people think! I’m running into the same astronomical site fees. I’m not giving up hope but if we can’t find a vineyard we like within our budget site fee we’ll just have to go another route (ie private estate, B&B, renting out a really cool restaurant, etc).
Your wedding was beautiful and as a outsider I felt your Thai Water Ceremony (I LOVE your thai outfit!) was totally worth it! It’s a big part of you and I know personally I will regret it if I don’t do a traditional Chinese Tea Ceremony!

 
2.
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Member
phruphru (message)  184 posts, Blushing bee

Wow, your awkward convo with your parents was almost EXACTLY like mine! We are just not a family that talks about money — ever. On the other hand, my husband’s family talks about how much things cost, how much so-and-so makes like it’s absolutely no big deal. Anyway, I just wanted to say that your wedding looked absolutely gorgeous and I honestly thought it would have cost WAY more (not that $30Kish is a small amount of money). I love your color scheme and I absolutely am drooling over your paper products. Thanks, Mrs. P!!

 
3.
Bee Icon
Bee
Mrs. Flamingo (message)  1,366 posts, Bumble bee

You have a beautiful wedding Mrs.Penguin and honestly worth every single penny of it. Your details were over the top, photographer was awesome. Beautiful wedding.

Thanks for the detailed post. And im am certain many readers will appreciate your honesty. We all know money is a touchy subject. ;)

 
4.
Guest Icon
Guest
Sarah

Thanks Pengy! What a great budget break-down. I really appreciate you taking the time to do that. Our budget is going to be about the same, but we’re in Tennessee so it’ll stretch farther. Gorgeous pictures too! I love the jelly bean boxes :)

 
5.
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Guest
Jillbean

How did you like the Excellence Playa Mujueres? I’m considering it for my honeymoon. And is it convenient for tours/activities (if you went on any)?

I am loving these breakdowns. It’s really interesting to see all the Bees’ priorities and results.

 
6.
Gilneas
Member
Gilneas (message)  1,393 posts, Bumble bee

I really love and appreciate this Real Bee Budgets - especially with the Bees who we’ve seen planning from the beginning. It’s interesting to see where priorities and details go (always so different!).

 
7.
krobbie
Member
krobbie (message)  216 posts, Helper bee

Thank you so much for sharing! I am planning on having a winery wedding in northern California, so this is very helpful! I am very impressed with everything you were able to do with that budget. Your wedding was absolutely gorgeous!

 
8.
furelysse
Member
furelysse (message)  175 posts, Blushing bee

I’ve actually been a big fan of your wedding since the planning days, and loved that you are open and honest to close the whole process out with a budget breakdown. To be honest, I sometimes feel a bit let down when I devote the time to follow someone’s wedding and not to be able to understand it in totality (including how much it costs), though I realize that money is a touchy subject.

 
9.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Bruschetta (message)  5,565 posts, Bee Keeper

Pengy, thanks for sharing the behind-the-scenes look at your wedding planning — particularly “the talk,” which I’m sure is tough for almost everyone to navigate with their parents!

 
10.
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Member
sarsk624 (message)  361 posts, Helper bee

Thanks for the honest and detailed breakdown! I think it really helps people to see all of that and to hear where you regret and where you don’t regret your money going. Your wedding was lovely

 
11.
redbullfanatic
Member
redbullfanatic (message)  489 posts, Helper bee

Thank you for sharing this - we’re having difficulties trying to figure out a way to approach his parents about money and we’re just at a loss of how to do it. Actually, this is why we have had such a long engagement, we don’t have the $ and we’re afraid to ask for any help. When we did bring up the wedding his mom actually said we should do it in their back yard or down at the public beach where they live. I’m not saying that’s a bad idea, but it’s just so not what we envisioned. Then his mom said how they had their wedding for $500 back in 1969 lol…*sigh* money sucks!

 
12.
markyk
Member
markyk (message)  227 posts, Helper bee

Wow! What a great budget breakdown! Thanks for being so open and honest about your post-wedding feelings. Your wedding was beautiful!

 
13.
Bee Icon
Bee
Mrs. Quiche (message)  3,157 posts, Sugar bee

Thanks for sharing, Peng!

We also thought of having a Napa or Sonoma wedding..but yeah, it is pretty pricey with the site fee on top of everything else!

Regardless, you had an absolutely beautiful wedding!

 
14.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Duckling (message)  1,415 posts, Bumble bee

Thanks so much for sharing this Pengy. I still love looking at all the beautiful pictures from your wedding so it’s still just as exciting!

 
15.
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Guest
Sarah

Holiday Inn Express = unlimited hot cinnamon rolls at breakfast. No shame at all.

 
16.
Bee Icon
Bee
Mrs. Kitten (message)  868 posts, Busy bee

Thanks for such a detailed budget breakdown Pengy. If I were a guest, I would have thought it cost much more! It was beautiful!

 
17.
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Guest
Anne

I love that you call it “craft crap” !!! It’s all fun and beautiful - and I adore how you keep it in perspective. I fee the same way about my obsession with programs, stickers, and other random stuff.

 
18.
Miss Cowboy Boot
Bee
Miss Cowboy Boot (message)  434 posts, Helper bee

How was it with no coordinator? I’m considering doing the same with a friend acting as an attendant/coordinator of sorts.

 
19.
Mrs. Penguin
Bee
Mrs. Penguin (message)  3,499 posts, Sugar bee

@Miss Cowboy Boot: For me personally, it was fine, but I do feel a bit of guilt at how much my friends and family that were roped in to help had to rush around all day. If your friend is super duper enthusiastic about standing in as your coordinator then I think it will work fantastically. I kind of threw little things to a bunch of people (everyone was enthusiastic about helping) but I just felt like some people worked way harder the day of the wedding than I would have liked (I would have preferred they were able to relax a bit more!)

I do think it’s important to have ONE designated person act as a coordinator, and for EVERYONE involved to know that she/he is the person to call or ask questions to, and for that person to have a very, very good idea of what goes where, who does what, and the timeline, etc. Make sure your friend knows what she’s signing up for… this is going to be a real JOB, no matter how laid back you are about details not being perfect. (I considered myself laid back… I really didn’t care that there were imperfections.) But just because you are laid back doesn’t mean that your “helpers” will be the same way… everyone will want to try to make your day as perfect as possible, and this can lead to overworking and stress for your friends, no matter how much you repeat that “you dont care” if things are perfect or not. Haha… this is getting long… I will write a post on this very subject soon :)

 
20.
Member Icon
Member
Newport Nuptials (message)  1,230 posts, Bumble bee

Wow, I assumed your wedding was way more! You did an amazing job. I love seeing the breakdowns, they really are helpful to see what different people can do with different budgets in different parts of the country.

 
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Mrs. Penguin
Mrs. Penguin

Mrs. Penguin, Northern California Age and Occupation: 27, Weddingbee Editor in Chief Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Doctor of Physical Therapy Engagement Date: January 29, 2007 Wedding Date: June 7, 2008 Blogging Since: September 14, 2007 Venue: Winery in the Gold Country About Me: I love the Spice Girls, dogs with underbites, bean burritos, making messes, high fives, avoiding showers, crossword puzzles, blogs, weddings, and blogs about weddings!

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