Sometimes as I read through all the blogs and hear the stories of other weddings, I wonder: Am I doing this right? Should I have spent less money here? Should I add in this detail? Lately, I’ve been feeling the guilt of asking myself, “Am I spending too much? Am I a bridezilla? Do I deserve this?” There’s nothing that has really changed in our plans or actions to make me feel this way, but perhaps I do worry about how others perceive me.
As I read through my Google reader I came across two posts at A Practical Wedding and East Side Bride that seemed to voice some of the concerns I was having. It seems like there has been this shift from celebrating and admiring the budget savvy bride, to adding in the extra subtle step of judging those who spend more on their weddings. I don’t think this is always intentional, but sometimes it inferred in comments that are expressed.
We are beyond blessed to have a big family and an incredible community of friends and we want them at our wedding. Does this make the wedding bigger and thus mean a larger venue, more meals, etc. equaling a bigger budget? Yes, but I wouldn’t change that. I should not feel guilty or that I need to justify the cost. But why do I? Even now I feel like I should tell you that my budget isn’t out of control, that I’ve found good deals and I’m not being over the top. I’m not going to though, because that would be giving in to the feeling I’m trying to avoid.
Ultimately I see our wedding as the celebration of our joy and love with the amazing friends and family we are blessed to have in our lives. Our goal is that all of our guests can celebrate, have fun and walk away knowing us better as a couple. However, there still is the desire to put on a beautiful event that reflects us a couple and allows us to share with those we love. I love event planning and enjoy putting time, sweat and tears into details that only I may notice. Our wedding is right for us. It’s not over the top or under spent. It’s a day that will reflect us, and we’re inviting others to share in that.
I need to step away from the desire to compare and worry. What is right and perfect for one person may not be right for another. As I’ve been reading through the real budget posts, I’ve been able to reminisce about the beautiful weddings that all the bees have had. Each person has a different budget, uses it in a different way, and in the end, I still admire, “ooh”, and “ahh”, over each one in the recaps. But my “oohs” and “ahhs” don’t necessarily come from how much was spent or not spent. The admiration comes from the thought, personality, and love in each picture, and detail and the celebration of the memory from the journey I followed along with for so many months.
I hope I didn’t come off harshly or offend anyone. It just feels good to get some of those thoughts off my chest and alleviate some pressure I’ve been feeling. Thanks to Meg at A Practical Wedding and East Side Bride for easing some of my thoughts and helping me move past some of these feelings.
Can anyone else relate to feeling guilty or questioning something due to the worry of perception?
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