That’s My Wedding…

That’s My Wedding…

June 29th, 2009 @ 3:10 pm by Mrs. D'orsay
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Oh crap. Oh crap. Oh crap. Oh crap. I’ve given up originality, because somehow whenever I think I’m being original or different, suddenly everyone else is too. Back (back) in the day I used to be a girl wearing Dickies, ties, and had an awesome graduated bob in the front, sweeping back to spiky hairdo. I thought I was soooooo cool. Then Avril Lavigne came out and I had to seriously re-adjust my wardrobe.

This wedding is starting to feel that way. The bridesmaid dresses I coveted? So does everyone else. Palettes involving gray? Everyone is there too. Wedding suit over wedding tux? Well, that’s an older one. I jumped on someone else’s bandwagon for that one.

It’s frustrating in the sense that people say that your wedding day should be “a unique expression of your union”. Which I understand, I really do—no one wants a cookie cutter wedding. But with inspirations overlapping, it’s difficult not to flip a crazy switch and say, “OH MA GAH! This wedding across the country that no one I know went to is going to look so similar to ours. Crap!” Not that any of our guests are probably looking at nearly as many wedding blogs as I am. But you never know. What if they know my bridesmaids’ dresses have been featured in other people’s weddings on the internet!?!?

Like I said… crazy switch.

So whenever I start to worry about being unoriginal, I start to think about authenticity and this little gem from the internet:

Do you ever find your mind going to the “crazy place”? How do you get back to normal?

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20 Responses to “That’s My Wedding…”

Member

Jenniphyr (message) 2,602 posts, Sugar bee

I know exactly that feeling. =/ I like that quote, though! So true.

6/29/09 @ 5:59 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Perfume (message) 2,253 posts, Buzzing bee

EXAAAAAAAACTLY!!! I looked at (still look at) the weddings on OnceWed and they seem so amazingly original and mine was just some sad attempt at it (although I loved my wedding!). Pretty soon it’s the same thing: colorful wedding shoes, birdcage, photo booth…You cannot win if you think of it in terms of “originality” points. Because neat things will be copied. I think the challenge is making it NOT contrived and more naturally you. I’m rambling. Ya know what I mean, Miss D!!! My long winded way of saying, “I hear you!”

6/29/09 @ 6:12 pm (reply)

Guest

Maureen Mika

Hi Miss D’Orsay,

Fashion advice on your wedding is FREE, please visit my website and there is a link to my blog on the bottom of the first page where you can ask me any wedding fashion related questions you have.

Thanks,

Maureen
Bridal Fashion Stylist

6/29/09 @ 6:12 pm (reply)

Guest

Moffy

I’m still new to this wedding planning thing, and am still over a year out to my wedding, but already, I am feeling your pain. There were a few ideas that I really liked and felt original to me, but with one google search, I find that 5,428 other brides have already thought of them. Maybe because I’m still so new to this, I figured this was just the way it had to be — after all, billions of people have gotten married before me. Still kinda takes the air out of my balloon, though.

6/29/09 @ 6:15 pm (reply)

Member

tea (message) 7,263 posts, Bee Keeper

well, it’s new to most of your guests!

but i totally understand. my friend went to a wedding last month that had a lot of the elements i wanted to have and i did pout for a second because she knows how i wanted to do the same things. lol. hey, it happens. but i remembered that for a lot of my guests, it would be one of the first times they seen them so hey, i still am kind of original

6/29/09 @ 6:36 pm (reply)

Guest

boolmsgurl

I agree!!! we have a lot of friends getting married and last month we went to a wedding that had the photo booth I wanted to get (mind you, I had this idea for over a yr when NOBODY was having them at weddings), homemade cookies that I was giving away as favors, and each of the couples of the wedding party came out to a upbeat/dance/hiphop song. SO I know exactly how you feel!!!! but at the end of the day, you just need to do what YOU want to do for your wedding and not worry what anyone has to say. If its special for you & your fiance that’s all that matter!!!!

6/29/09 @ 7:13 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Labrador (message) 1,805 posts, Buzzing bee

Ah! That quote is SOOOOO true! I actually enjoy coming across weddings that are similar to what I’m planning because it helps to visualize things I’m wanting to implement.

6/29/09 @ 7:21 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss French Bulldog (message) 7,730 posts, Bee Keeper

I love that quote! It is so perfect!
btw I’m laughing my arse off over here @ “What if they know my bridesmaids’ dresses have been featured in other people’s weddings on the internet!?!?” LOL!

6/29/09 @ 7:28 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss D'orsay (message) 2,272 posts, Buzzing bee

@Miss Labrador: That’s what my mom said! “At least you know those ideas look good”

@Miss French Bulldog: I know! I have no idea how I got on the crazy train…but I’d like to step off now…

6/29/09 @ 7:34 pm (reply)

10.

Guest

I’ve already embraced it– I just don’t feel the need for my wedding to represent some sort of individuality. So many weddings that supposedly say they’re so “them” or “authentic” or “individual” look like every other wedding!!

6/29/09 @ 7:43 pm (reply)

11.

Member

Gilneas (message) 1,393 posts, Bumble bee

We chose our wedding date back in 2008.. 10/10/10, which we thought was super cool and totally originally. Now, fourteen months out, everyone else is realizing that it’s cool, too, and I feel like EVERYONE is planning a wedding for Oct 10 2010.

Personally, I LOVE seeing details I’ve chosen in real weddings - Mrs. Pineapple and Mrs. Violet both wore the same dress in the same color that I am wearing. I was totally excited to see it in action!

6/29/09 @ 7:56 pm (reply)

12.

Member

budgetbeautiful (message) 1,191 posts, Bumble bee

I try and remind myself that most people don’t read wedding blogs, so my ideas are not unoriginal to our guests. Still, I can’t help but get a little depressed when I see my ideas that I thought were original on wedding blogs. This is the main reason I’ve cut back on my reading of bridal blogs now that I’m less than 3 months out.

6/29/09 @ 8:00 pm (reply)

13.

Bee

Miss Swan (message) 1,046 posts, Bumble bee

Hun,

I felt the EXACT same way. Part of the reason why I am not freaking out as much is because I am probably the only one at my wedding that reads as many wedding blogs as I do. Most people aren’t looking at weddings everyday and most of the people coming got married a long time ago, so many of the things we do now are going to be new. Seriously…it’s going to be new and different for a lot of people. Plus you two make the wedding special not the elements and details (at least that’s what I am telling myself).

6/29/09 @ 8:08 pm (reply)

14.

Guest

Amy

Miss D’Orsay, if you haven’t read this article yet, you should. It was one of the first things that put my mind at ease about whether or not my wedding would be “original”… all that matters is how much I love the details. NOT doing something because it’s popular is as bad as DOING something because it’s popular. You rock and so will your day.

http://offbeatbride.com/2009/01/trends-vs-super-awesome-ideas

6/29/09 @ 9:15 pm (reply)

15.

Bee

Miss D'orsay (message) 2,272 posts, Buzzing bee

@Amy: Great article! Thanks for the link!

6/29/09 @ 9:32 pm (reply)

16.

Bee

Miss Mouse (message) 5,844 posts, Bee Keeper

Oh girl, I have so been there! At some point you really just have to take a step back and ask yourself why you want a particular thing in your wedding. Is it because you love it and it makes you giddy-happy-swoony? If so, then who gives a crap if 80 or 8 million people have used the idea before you? I think no matter what, if you fill your wedding with things you love and that resonate with you and your guy, you’ll create the best memories. Your wedding is going to be lovely and original, and I can’t wait to see it!

6/29/09 @ 10:15 pm (reply)

17.

Guest

Anne

I completely understand where you’re coming from! When I started, I was so focused on wanting something different and unique, but as the wedding plans have come along, I’m finding more and more of my ideas aren’t original at all. I think it comes down to doing what YOU like, whether or not it’s new or original. The only thing that matters is that at the end of the day, you and Mr D’orsay will be married!

6/30/09 @ 12:59 am (reply)

18.

Member

MeredithN (message) 110 posts, Blushing bee

oh yes…I know this feeling!!!

but, and this is a BIG but, I do know that while the world wide web makes “originality” seem impossible, there will always be favors, colors, ideas, DIYs that are distinctly YOU. and the collective whole will always be uniquely YOURS and your Mr.’s.

For instance, my colors are Aqua and Fuschia and Petal Pink (with silver and white). We’ve seen this a bazillion times right? At first, that was my hesitation– but when I told my friends and fam my thoughts, I heard over and over, “those colors are SO YOU!” and “those colors are perfect for you.” I trusted these words because I have always been a bright color kinda gal, and I have always gravitated to those colors. It is a common color scheme, but it is also one that fits me perfectly. Oh yes, FI likes it too

6/30/09 @ 12:59 am (reply)

19.

Member

SisterDorsay (message) 18 posts, Newbee

I appear to ( i say appear, I haven’t done a thorough internet search) be the only person with an Operation N ^_^ Though there is a wedding were they replaced rice throwing with a shower of nerf darts. Apparently I have forced people to consider Laser Tag @ the wedding to top it. When they say unique and yours I think they really me a reflection of and who the two of you are. Thats how Op N came to be - yes you can blame the person who said our wedding should be a unique reflection of us, and we thought what did we do all the time when we first got together…oh yeah. Can’t do that at a wedding..no no wait we can…as long as our parents don’t hear about it before hand. So don’t worry if someone else did the same thing - its bound to happen somewhere in the world. Just worry about it reflecting the two of you. ( Mom may prefer you also worry about giving her a heart attack, since I went ahead with Operation N regardless and you helped. Spectacularly I might add.)

7/1/09 @ 2:50 am (reply)

20.

Guest

Imara219

Oh I def feel that way. What made it worse is that I never grew up dreaming of my big day. I was sooo easily persuaded by everything. I started off wanting an original look. By the end I was shopping at David’s Bridal and visiting Martha Stewart Weddings everyday. By the end, I decided on a tea length dress, bird cage veil, and colored shoes. I thought I was the regular offbeat bride, different. Then reality set in, yep, all of it is a fad. The Polaroid guest book, check! Mason jar glassware, double check. I stopped caring about a week ago. My friends look at me crazy b/c to them it is different, unique and original. They don’t go on wedding blog sites so they have no idea! Now I’m happier and free from stress.

7/2/09 @ 2:56 pm (reply)