Wedding Blog
To say it has been a rough few days would be an understatement. And everything that has gone on has left me with very little motivation to work on any projects or blog. I have a half-done pomander to show soon, and even a few half-written posts about other projects. Unfortunately, all of these things have fallen out of my view after some bad (partially expected news) fell in my lap instead.
One of my bridesmaids is backing out.
To say the least, this breaks my heart. But I had a feeling it was coming. To make a very long and complicated story short, we have just grown apart. Very, very far apart. We were roommates in college and shortly after Mr. Cloud asked me to marry him, I asked her to be my maid of honor. Not long after that, things started to change. She got “busy”, and I started planning and expecting too much. We had a conversation and decided it would be better for her to be a bridesmaid, so she could still be involved, just with less on her shoulders. This should have been a warning sign. It has now come to light that she not only is tired of hearing about my planning progress, but she no longer wants to be involved. Period. Despite my bitterness about the situation, it was still hard to hear that, and I still cried.
I am trying to focus on the fact that I still have wonderful ladies who love me, and other people who want to be involved and are interested about what is going on. But it still causes me to second guess every time I open my mouth about any of these details. I find myself wondering who else might be getting upset or sick of it all. Mr. C says I can’t dwell though, and he’s right. I want people standing up with me who are there for ME, and love Mr. C and me, and want to celebrate with us. Not ones who think of us and our day as an annoyance.
So, I’m focusing on other things. I’m going to finish that pomander, and those posts, and be excited for our tasting with the reception site and my first shower!! I refuse to allow one person to put a damper on such an important and special event. REFUSE.
Instead, I will leave you with a pretty picture of our gorgeous reception venue, The Jefferson Hotel! I will be sharing all of its beautiful details soon because I am still swooning every time I see it!
Did your engagement result in a damaged relationship? What happened, and were you able to get through it?
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Oh Ms. Cloud - I understand completely! I had the same thing happen! My MOH is no longer… we had a pretty bad falling out and I knew it was coming, but it was still really hard. My FI has been really great and supportive, as well as the rest of my family and friends. You really only do want people there for you that will be genuinely happy for you. Good luck - it will all work out. Lots of hugs!
Miss Cloud, I’m sorry you had to go through such heart-ache! 
Sigh. Unfortunately I do understand. My sister is supposed to be my MOH…but she ran off in January and married her boyfriend and hasn’t talked to me in months. Her name will be in the program, but I have no reason to think she will be there on that day. I understand it is tough, but try to focus on the people who will be there for you, loving and supporting you.
I’m sorry Miss Cloud! I’ve been there too - I asked an old friend to be a BM and then we both slowly started to realize we weren’t as close as we had once been, but she didn’t tell me about it until after blowing up at me in a huge argument about something COMPLETELY frivolous and not wedding related. It was a bummer, but eh, what can you do? You have other ladies and friends who I’m sure are absolutely thrilled to stand by you!
Miss Cloud, I so feel for you. I have also struggled with feeling like no one wants to hear anything about our wedding. It’s so hard. I go back and forth with being afraid to say anything to anyone, thinking that people are secretly scoffing at me, and being resentful that I have to pretend like I’m not getting married in order not to offend anyone. I’m so sorry you are going through this.
I’m so sorry Miss Cloud!! what a terrible thing to experience during what is supposed to be a wonderful time in your life! I hope you feel better soon and just think about your wonderful reception venue! as another Richmond bride-to-be I know the Jefferson is a gorgeous place for the reception…you will have such a good time there!
To put it short, I can relate to this.
I hope that you keep your chin up and DO focus on the other lovely ladies in your life!
Good for you! Right attitude, refuse to let her get you down!
I’m so sorry to hear this! I had something similar happen, but to be honest, I was SO *relieved* when my bridesmaid backed down, and felt happy more than anything. I’m so glad you’re focusing on all the fantastic people who are with you and supporting you!
awww… sorry to hear about that. i am firm believer that things happen for a reason. and this too shall past. it’s great thing that you have turned ur lemons into lemonade.
WOW! Your venue is to die for! I’m sorry you’ve had to go through some hard things with your MOH-turned bridesmaid. But like you said, you want people by your side who love and support you and Mr.C completely! I’m a firm believer in “everything happens for a reason”. Maybe her backing out now saved you from having to go through something harder and more emotional closer to the wedding. Or heaven forbid something terrible happen on your big day. I know it hurts but try and look at the positives. And when you get sad about it look at Mr. C and all your sadness will melt away. 
Oh man, Miss Cloud, I am right there with you. The same thing occured with my dear friend and old roommate, who I lived with when I first became engaged. I wanted her to be a BM and of course be there and she was really weird about the dates and ultimately ended up telling me that she wasn’t happy for us and didn’t think our marriage would work out. It has been really difficult. On top of that, we made mutual (I thought) decisions about moving out of our place and then she demanded that I pay her money for it.
Needless to say, she is NOT coming to the wedding. I have been able to see how amazing my MOH, other BM and mom are though. They are so helpful and happy for me. That’s what it is supposed to be about.
Hang in there. This sounds like it is about her and not about you.
I can completely relate. I had a friend who, before I was even engaged, acted icky when I mentioned my FI. I tried to make the best out of it, but when I asked her one day “do you want to know when I get engaged?” and she replied “ugh, no…why would you get engaged? dumb.” I pretty much wrote her off.
She never congratulated me on my engagement after it actually happened, not that I’m surprised. She still sees me every once in awhile due to mutual friends, but suffice to say, we’re not really friends anymore.
Glad to hear that you have the right attitude about it — who wants someone standing up in their wedding who really, truly does not want to be there? best of luck!
Ms Could I understand you completely. The BM that backed out on me was my cousin. It was really hard and still hurts but I am not going to dwell on it. I have one month left and am going to have an amazing wedding.
I am so sorry Miss Cloud! I went through the same thing with one of my bridesmaids. At the time I asked her, we were close and working at the same company. A few months later, she became pregnant and changed jobs. We stayed in touch for awhile, but after her baby shower, I slowly felt her losing interest in the wedding. I couldn’t get her to commit to our engagement party (which fell through) or to meet me for bridesmaid dress shopping. When the rest of my girls chose a dress and I sent her the link, she was upset at the price. I could tell she didn’t want to be a part of the bridal party any longer, so I approached her and asked her how she was feeling before we bought the dresses, and she admitted that she wanted out. What was left of our friendship quickly deteriorated after that, as we both became busy with our own lives. It’s sad how someone can go from bridesmaid (or MOH in your case) to distant acquaintence in just one year. It’s one of the tricky things about long engagements, I suppose! You never know what will happen between “I will” and “I do!”
But you are right about not letting it upset you. It’s so easy to focus on negative people or things during wedding planning, but when you stop and think about all of the people who truly love you and are excited for your wedding - that is tmost important! In the end, I couldn’t have asked for better bridesmaids, and I know you will feel the same way!
You know, it’s funny. my FI has had so much more backlash than I have. To say the least his friends do NOT like me. One of them completely trash talked me to him, and they don’t even speak anymore. It breaks my heart (more than his i think), but he just says that his real friends will be happy that he’s happy. I know everyone is so sick of hearing about our wedding, and I’m crazy obsessed with talking about it, and that does not make a good combination. I’ve lost one “bridesmaid” because she was his friend, and now hates me. (the trash talking ex friend of FI’s is her sister, go figure)
I can completely relate…I’m 5 weeks out before my wedding, some of my girls just had their fittings, needless to say my best friend since I was 15 called and told me not only was she backing out but she wouldn’t be there at all…I was just finalizing bouquets and ceremony programs. It hurts a lot because I’ve gone over and beyond for her, her wedding, 1st baby and no matter how many or how far others are traveling to make it, I won’t have her.
I am so sorry for the news but I might also understand her position. A good friend of mine got engaged last year and without asking she assumed that I would be a bridesmaid. Although surprised at first, I reluctantly went along with the plan. Realizing the type of wedding she wants (extravagant and expensive) I feel as though I cannot be an adequate bridesmaid. I cannot afford the bridesmaid dress nevertheless showers and other bridesmaids duties. I would like to explain this to her but I have no idea how to bring it up without hurting her feelings. I want her day to be everything she dreamed of and I want to support her, I’m just not able to do it the right way. I would rather be a guest enjoying the wedding then a bridesmaid dreading her credit card bill. Please help!
(((((HUGS))))
I am in your place right now
My bridesmaid dropped out yesterday..5 weeks to go and I think that it may have been the end of a freindship too.
I am sorry and I really understand your pain. I have had the worst time with feeling like people are laughing at me or are sick of me for talking about it. It has made me feel alone. I feel like instead of gushing…I stop myself and get embaressed. I feel like no one else can understand.
BUT….as I have now been doing this for almost 8 months…I am getting a little better about that. I have learned that your REAL friends do care and they want to hear about it. My other BM listens endlessly, though I am sure she is SICK of hearing about it somedays. Another freind pokes fun at me a little…but overall…totally has my back.
The bridesmaid who left is someone I had doubts about from the begining. It isn’t the same situation as yours…because it was a huge fight that ultimatly took her out of the wedding…but I had a feeling that something might happen. I have 36days and I am just going to roll with hte punches. I have a freind who I wished I had asked all along to be a maid…and she is the same dress size. So it all works out in the end
Think of it and thinning out the crowd and cutting the fat. I KNOW it sucks to lose someone …..but let that make the light shine evne brighter on the people who love you. Look around! I bet you have a bunch of people who love and support you with all thier hearts. Don’t let one person bring you down.
Chin up and big (((((((HUGS)))))))
My BFF is supposed to be my MOH, and at first I didn’t even think she would be coming to our out-of-town wedding, I just needed someone to bounce ideas off of. THen she announced that she WOULD be there. She’s been a little hot and cold lately, and I’m waiting for the news that she is out, formally.
It won’t be the end of the world, but this happened LAST time I got married, and to see her jump through hoops for other friends weddings leaves me a little miffed and hurt.
Ms. Cloud, with all due respect I think you should consider both sides. As someone who is always really “busy” I can relate to your former BM. I am fortunate to have a friend getting married this summer who realizes that there are other things in life than her wedding, barely asks anything of us and appreciates everything we do for her. Not that I know everything about your situation, but it sounds like maybe you are forgetting that the world does not revolve around your upcoming nuptials.
Some of these other brides’ comments remind me of another statement - usually if a friend doesn’t think that a marriage is meant to be, it isn’t. I was once in a very bad relationship that I just couldn’t seem to get away from, and my good friend tried to warn me. In the end, I saw that she was right. Moral of the story - people aren’t always out to get you. Sometimes people care about you and try to show you the things you may be too blind to see.
Your venue looks beautiful, I hope that your wedding day is lovely and that you can realize that people grow old and grow apart, there should be no hard feelings.
Ms. Cloud,
Your post and these comments were the best things I’ve read all day… not because they make me happy… but because they make me feel less alone. Just yesterday I “lost” one of my bridesmaids. We became friends when we were teenagers and lost touch for years at a time, but she was there when I got engaged and I had known her the longest so it just seemed right to ask her to be part of the wedding. My BM’s get to pick their own dresses, I had a 2 year engagement leaving plenty of time for them to save, and I am paying for hair and jewelry. I WANT to do all of these things because I love my girls and because they are such wonderful friends… but sometimes it’s not enough. My BM missed my bridal shower that was less than 5 minutes from her house (we live 6 hours apart, but the shower was hosted in her town). Then she missed the deadline for ordering dresses (the date was made known a year and a half in advance). I’ve felt like she had so much going on in her personal life, especially financial issues, that she was “bothered” with my wedding details and events. I wish she would have declined the invitation, or kindly stepped down when she realized she wasn’t up for it. Now we’re 4 months out… and possibly ending a friendship. This is not what I had envisioned in planning my wedding.
I hope your situation doesn’t end up nasty and that you will remain friends. Best of luck to you! Thank you for sharing…
I’m sorry to hear that, mostly because it mimics what I think I’m about to go through. It’s weird how one life changing event can change life-long friendships. I recently asked three more very close girlfriends to join my bridal party, because these girls, whom I haven’t known as long as my original BMs and MOH, have been more ecstatic for me and my FI and are more interested in everything I have to say. I feel like I’m constantly walking and talking on eggshells around my MOH and that’s not how I should feel about my wedding. Thanks for this post, because now maybe we’ll sit down and figure out what the best thing to do is.
Thank you all so much for your kind words and support! It has been rough, but I am trying to keep my head up. It is nice to know that I am the not the only one going through this. We will all have BEAUTIFUL weddings with or without the people who can’t be happy for us
@Gator: I think you situation is a little different then where my MOH was, you seem like you want to be honest, and you feel badly about the situation that your in. I don’t think my MOH cared, if she did she would have been honest from the begining. I think if she had been our friendship would be salvagable in the end. And if it is an issue of money, let her know that too! Tell her that you just cant afford it. There aren’t many people (or brides) that can’t understand a financial strain! Good luck
Moral of the story - don’t choose your bridesmaids when you are 18 and never rethink them. Don’t pick girls that are pretty and will look the best in the dress. Don’t pick the girls who you think will buy you the nicest gifts. Pick the bridesmaids who are currently very close to you and who you know have the time/money/energy to be an active member of your wedding party, especially if your expectations are high.
@Californy Girl: I’m sorry I responded before reading your post! I did not in any way mean to come off sounding like I think the world revolves around me, or my wedding. I am more upset about the way things were handled. I do not think that I have expected much from anyone, but there is a way to handle things if you are too busy to be involved, and unfortunately thats not how things panned out for us. You of course have the right to your opinion, but I really hope that you are never in the position for someone that you thought you were very close to tell you that they flat out do not care about something very important that is going on in your life. Thats the part that hurt the most
Wow - that is awful sorry you have been having troubles with your best friend - that is never easy!
Awh, Miss Cloud ::hugs:: I’m sorry I haven’t picked my BMs or the MOH yet and I’m actually fearing if I do pick my sister as the MOH that things will turn out just as you wrote about. But it’s my sister! Her wedding was last year and things didn’t go well. I was her MOH, but only by title. Was not involved in any way, even though I wanted to be and asked, and was left out. The bridal party get together, not asked, the day of when she spent the day relaxing with the other BMs, not asked. ::sigh:: Heartbreaking; however, I feel like if I don’t then our relationship might be even worse. Still not sure what to do, and I know it’s my own wedding, but it’s still hard.
Keep your chin up and just remember, as you said, you have women who are there for you because they want to be and they love you. Keep them close and give them an extra hug just because
My maid of honor dropped out too. Not even to the bride’s maid level at first, but completely and 100%. I’ve mentioned the emotional repsonse of the young females around me in MissStar’s Adventures of a youngish bride: http://www.weddingbee.com/2009/06/30/adventures-of-young-ish-bride-the-first-in-a-series/
I don’t even know if my former MOH is going to attend the wedding - I don’t have an RSVP form her yet.
People are crazy. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, but you’re not alone. Try to focus on the positive!
It’s only recently that I’ve realized that when you’re a child you sometimes choose your friends based on convenience (you live across the street, your mom’s are friends, you have a class together, etc)… sometimes those friendships last, most times they don’t. As an adult you choose your friendships based on more mature things like respect, and trust, and sometimes just plain old FUN! Most people go through a “weeding-out” process (for lack of a better term), and you realize who your real friends are, and unfortunately, it happens a lot during the wedding process!
Many brides, including myself, have gone through this. It hurts but we move on and we’re able to enjoy our day with people who really want to be there.
Best of luck to all of you who are going through this right now…
I have a bridesmaid who accepted a job in Ohio (we live in GA) soon after accepting her BM duty. I soon realized that this wasn’t going to work after the communication started dropping off. I sent her a letter basically asking if she wanted to be an “honor attendant” which would be the exact same as BM but with NO expected responsibilities (basically, she could do anything and everything a bridesmaid was doing or she could pick and choose how to help depending on her free time and money). She has yet to respond to that offer (back in March). Now I’m in limbo with what to do with her, so I feel your pain.
Btw, HOLY VENUE! Gorg!
*hugs*
it must be hard to deal with, but like you said, it is good that so many other good things are with you and part of your life and wedding planning. and to echo others, your venue is BREATHTAKING!
I’m sorry Miss Cloud! ((HUGS))
I also have a bridesmaid who has been growing distant and very uninterested with anything wedding related. She recently bought a house and didn’t even tell me about it! I think it was a passive aggressive move b/c she resents me for having found love while she is still single, she wants more than anything to be married. It’s so sad, I don’t know what to do! It will be a miracle if she is standing next June…
I find these kind of posts the most interesting and helpful thing on Weddingbee: the emotional stuff, the “how do you handle…?” stuff, a la Mrs Cheese and Miss Joey at times, too. I can find a million places for invitation inspiration (though that is great, too) but it is posts like this that I read the most closely and usually read every single comment. Thanks for sharing, Miss Cloud. You are at an age where college relationships are changing, maybe. It is a pivotal time and growing apart happens. I am 31, and going through similar growing pains with my BFF from high school. I’m so sorry. But don’t worry that everyone feels the same way. They don’t. Everyone has a bad egg.
@august15bride: Oh, my goodness, your sister! That is really tough, I am so sorry. I bet it one of a million tough things with her.
@Miss Labrador: That is a very patient and kind offer, I can’t believe she hasn’t responded. Good for you for taking the high road, either way.
Plus, it is only just recently that I have realized that you have friends that are very meaningful at certain periods in your life, and maybe less so in others, but it doesn’t mean anything bad. It’s just the ebb and flow of life. It is a weird and confusing thing that was hard for me to learn, because through the early/mid part of your 20s you think of things in terms of Childhood Friends, High School Friends, College Friends (if applicable), whatever. But as you get older, those categories get a lot harder to define. A lot more nebulous.
I am sorry that this happened to you Miss Cloud. For some reason weddings sometimes bring out peoples true colors and it sucks. I had a couple of my bms bring some drama to my wedding a few days before the wedding and it is still hard to forget about and I am still hurt about it but it. But I did not let it ruin my day. As you should not let her either. Your wedding is going to be amazing. Your venue is awesome!!!
Gorgeous venue!
I’m really sorry that your friend (or former friend) is making your celebrations feel less, well, celebratory. You’re right, you shouldn’t let her put a damper on your day. It’s probably better that she backed out now rather than faking it and possibly being less than supportive on your wedding day. I hope everything works out!
@Karma007: Re: jumping through hoops… Yes! I know what you mean. My BFF of 15 years has been totally like, UNINTERESTED in the fact that I am even getting married, much less details. Then she tells me she was SO excited to go ring shopping with some dude friend of hers from work who I have never even heard of, and is thrilled to travel across the country to his wedding. Meanwhile, when I told her I got engaged, she acted like I had told her what I had for lunch that day.
Sorry this is putting a damper on your plans That must be really hard to swallow. But it’s better that she back out than be making snarky comments or something and ruin everyone’s mood in the bridal party. I know that’s not much consolation.
Your venue is fab, though!
@Bride2Be: WHAT?! How is that the moral of this story? Nothing of what you said applies to Miss Cloud. She isn’t 18, and she didn’t say anything about pretty dresses. I don’t think it’s very kind of you to be so dismissive.
Wow…I didn’t realize there would be so many comment with people all going thru the same thing. As another commentor said…..there is something about weddingbee that you can’ get anywhere else. It is so nice to see that we are not alone.
I have 5 weeks to go and feel like I am starting over with a new maid. It is nice to know that MANY of us have all been in the same spot
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I know how badly this sucks. For my first wedding, one of my bridesmaids decided to give a lame excuse and back out on me TWO DAYS BEFORE THE WEDDING. She called when she knew I wouldn’t be home and left a message that her grandmother was in the hospital and she didn’t know if she’d be able to fly out to be in my wedding. I left her a voicemail expressing my concern for her g-mother, and I told her that I would understand completely if she couldn’t come out because her family should be her first priority, and then I asked that she call to let me know how her g-mother was doing.
My concern for her family was genuine, and I meant what I said about understanding if she couldn’t fly out for the wedding. Nine years later, I still haven’t heard from her.
My family is doing this, and I only have two family members to begin with - my mom and sister. I asked my sister to be my MOH and she accepted, but since has shown little interest in the wedding. I had to beg her to come to my shower, and my mom didn’t even come. My FMIL came despite the terrible pain she was in (she had back surgery two days later), and smiled the whole time. My sister keeps putting off dress shopping and offering to help, but then disappears when I tell her what I need help with. I am seriously considering doing the opposite of your situation and pulling the plug on HER.
Wow…how rude of her. Im sorry this has happened to you during a wonderful time in your life. When my fiance and I started dating some people gave us a hard time…and one of those people was my sister. We werent best friends or anything…but we were sisters. And now our relationship is even worse….its starting to get better but were not really friends or anything. She will be at my wedding but I have a closer best friend who will be my MOH. I never saw my sister being my MOH…but maybe a bridesmaid…but it will be fine that she is just there. BTW the hotel is beautiful…I still cant get over that she didnt want to hear details and stuff. If they agree to be there for you then they should be there. I hope you can get passed this…good luck Miss Cloud.
This just happened to me last weekend. My roommate had actually got in a fight with my fiance over something so minor and she told me she no longer wanted to be in our wedding… it was heartbreaking. I try to make myself feel better by realizing now I have an even wedding party… 5&5 because she did make it 6 on my side. That only lasts for a second then I’m sad again.
I’m a helper bee now! Okay happy again lol… what’s my next level then and when?
Sorry you’re going through this. People are strange and sometimes they don’t know how to express themselves. Maybe it’s money, maybe it’s responsibility, maybe it’s jealousy, you’ll never know but don’t be hard on yourself. I was on the flip-side. I was the maid of honor and while I won’t go so far as to say I wanted out, I was very uncomfortable throughout the planning process. I felt like it was the bride and really her mom’s show and we just foot the bill. I had very little input in her shower or bachelorette. She never talked to me about the wedding unless it dealt with collecting # for the dresses, etc. Very strange, they controlled everything and any suggestions that I or the other BM made were quickly explained away. Weddings bring out all different characteristics in people and through that experience I learned that they were very concerned with keeping up appearances and made me feel like I wasn’t “on their level.” She’s still my friend but my impression of her and especially her mother has changed.
Wow, I didn’t realize so many bees were in this situation. I have a feeling that one of my bridesmaids is going to drop out. She lives in another state, which makes things a little tricky. When I asked her to be my bridesmaid she was hesitant. She is very self conscious, and said that she did not feel comfortable showing off her legs, arms, back etc. In order to accommodate her my bridesmaids and I chose a dress that was almost 3X the cost of the one I had originally picked out, but it does cover every area she specified. After letting her know about the dress I hadn’t heard anything. I thought maybe she was having second thoughts about being in the wedding. I called her, and offered to have her come to the wedding as a guest. I made it very clear that this would not mean that she would be excluded from hanging out with me and the other bridesmaids as we got ready or the night before. She said that she would like to try on the dress to see if it made her uncomfortable and then let me know. I e-mailed her a list of all the bridal shops in a 15 mile radius of her that carried the dress brand. I have not heard from her since. I am really trying to make sure that she is comfortable (whether in the wedding party or not). I am frustrated and don’t know what to do next. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt, she is very supportive of me as a person and of my relationship with FI. Just when it comes to the wedding party, she is really distant and hesitant.
I’m sorry that that happened to you. *HUGS* It must have been very hard to lose someone close to you, even if you were growing apart, it was still obviously very hurtful — the finality of it, that is.
Sorry you had to go through this. I had a similar situation. The only difference is that I had to let my MOH go. It hurt like hell to do, but I know it was the right decision. She was being very rude to my other maids and told me she wanted nothing to do with planning my bachelorette party. With about 2 weeks until my wedding, I am really glad that I don’t have to deal with drama on my day!
Me, too! Geez, Im glad to hear Im not the only one…
Same thing happened, not with one but two of my BMs. I am a bit bitter. I didnt even invite one to the wedding in the end because she didnt even give me a reason y she was backing out! Call me immature but I would at least have wanted a reason.
[...] 3, 2009 · Leave a Comment Wow, after reading this blogpost about ruined brides/bridesmaids relationships (appears it’s quite common too – check out the comments section, full of similar [...]
Ms. Cloud I’m so sorry to hear this but glad to hear that it’s not getting you down! Like so many others I can sympathize…
Your venue is glamorgous… I can’t wait to see what you do to it!
Ohhh….Ms.Cloud…don’t you worry about your BM, she is a very NOT NICE person to hurt you in this way. I don’t know if she is single but she sounds like a HATER to me!! WE (the loyal readers of the BEE) want to “hear/read” every single bit of the details about your special day!! Know that you would rather her do this now than closer to your big day. Just be grateful that you learned of this now and still have time to cope with emotional factors and make the practical changes for your wedding. Don’t let anyone get you down. :)!!!!
I’m sorry Miss Cloud! But the Jefferson Hotel is GORGEOUS! You are going to have amazing pictures! So pretty! One of my best friends (she would have been a bridesmaid if we had a traditional wedding party) just didn’t show up to my wedding. She, along with two of my other BFFs were going to stay with me in the condo I rented in the Caymans. I knew they were on a tight budget so I got a place with enough space for all of us and paid for it myself. We were worried about her when she didn’t show up for the flight, and she TEXTED me the day after she was supposed to arrive saying she just couldn’t make it! I didn’t hear from her for a month after the wedding, so I sent her an email saying I wished her the best, but couldn’t be friends with her anymore. She didn’t have an excuse for not coming or calling to let me know beforehand. Sometimes these kind of things are blessings in disguise. Now that you know where your former MOH’s priorities lie, you can focus on your friendships with those who are truly loyal, will go out of their way for you, and want the best for you.
I’m so sorry… ::hugs to you:: One of my BM’s just backed out… the only difference is that she has yet to tell me :-/ She’s stopped answering my calls, texts, emails, etc so I’m taking it as a hint… it’s really upsetting ESPECIALLY 3 weeks from my wedding. I paid for my girls dresses so that’s money I’ll never see along with their gifts… One thing I’ve learned?? Don’t buy monogrammed gifts! lol…
Miss Cloud- I’m so sorry about what you’re going through, but it’s so much better than the alternative. The alternative would be what happened to me. I knew from the get- who I wanted in the wedding upon getting engaged. We had a 2-yr. engagement and I asked them all to be a part of it 2 weeks after he proposed. I had 1 maid of honor, 1 matron of honor, and 6 bridesmaids after I asked. They all knew for a 2 years that the wedding would be in Hawaii & they all had ample time to back out. At the end of it all… 2 bridesmaids backed out a month before the wedding & a third bridesmaid (my cousin) backed out 2 DAYS before the wedding (she had me thinking she was coming all along, but she really had no intention of showing up). My matron & maid of honor did absolutely NOTHING to help with the wedding and did NOTHING when they got to the wedding. As I worked on all my finishing touches… they were no where to be found. My 2 sister-in-laws (who I had only known for 2 years) were there every step of the way. My wedding was the beginning of the end of 5 LONG friendships/ relationships. Be happy you headed the trouble off at the pass. I wish you all the best, Miss Cloud… your venue is absolutely gorgeous!
@Mrs. Kura: I’m so sorry to hear that but am so glad you had your sils to step in!
All of your stories just break my heart! Thank you again for all the support, its good to know we all aren’t alone in this. Here I thought I was the rare one!
[...] Luckily, my MOH was with me. Ironically, she wasn’t even my MOH at the time, as this trip was pre-bridesmaid drama, but she was already stepping up to save the [...]
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Mrs. Cloud, Richmond
Age and Occupation: 25, Sales Rep
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Customer Service Manager/DJ
Engagement Date: February 14, 2008
Wedding Date: November 2009
Venue: Cathedral of the Sacred Heart & The Jefferson Hotel
About Me: Mr. Cloud and I are Yankees planning a Southern wedding to show our families from Boston and New York our fabulous city. We are complete opposites, resulting in a wedding to include bridesmaids in pearls and groomsmen in Adidas shell toes. I’m a sorority girl at heart with strong addictions to my blackberry, cherry Chapstick, Coach purses, the Boston Red Sox and our fur baby, Bella. I can’t wait to the throw the party of our lives and of course, marry my best friend!
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