Wedding Blog
I’d prefer to have everything on our wedding day go in perfect order and on time - I mean, who wouldn’t? But beyond that, even though I’ve been trying to pay close attention to the happenings at all of the wedding receptions I have been to over the past 15 months (since getting engaged), I’m still worried that I’m planning things out in the wrong order. What if the toasts come at the wrong time? Will there still be enough people there when we do the garter and bouquet toss?
On top of my timeline worries, I have my photographer to think about. We’ve only booked her for 7 hours, but we’re hoping to tack an extra hour onto that, giving us 8.
Within that 8 hours with her, we want to start with getting ready shots of me as I get my hair/makeup done and get dressed, and then have her shoot through the main events at the reception. I didn’t think this would pan out quite as I wanted, but after playing around with things I think it may just work.
1:30 - Main photographer arrives at hotel, 2nd photographer arrives at church
2:00 - Hair/makeup is completed
2:30 -Bridal party heads to church
3:00 - 4:00 - Ceremony (probably will run less than an hour)
4:00 - 6:00 - Bridal party photos
6:00 - 7:00 - Cocktail hour
7:00 - Guests ushered into the ballroom
7:10 - Bridal party entrance
7:20 - Mr. & Mrs. Stiletto’s first dance
7:25 - Cake cutting/dinner served
8:15 - Toasts
8:30 - Dinner cleared/cake served
8:40 - Father/daughter dance
9:15 - Bouquet & garter toss
9:30 - Photographers leave
10:00 - Dancing!
11:30 - Last call
So… if you’re still with me - did I leave anything out? Anything grossly out of order? Any suggestions, or words of wisdom from those who have gone before me?!
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The only question I have is of the placement of cake cutting relative to the father-daughter dance. Won’t everyone be noshing on sweet goodness while you and your father are twirling around the dance floor? I’d consider serving the cake right AFTER your dance.
i don’t know about your photog, but my husband and i usually throw in a small buffer of free time when we shoot weddings. you may want to speak to your photographer and see what works best, how are additional hours charged etc
@Miss Bruschetta: Good idea! 
@mrspaetz: Fortunately, we’ve gotten to know our photographer well and Mr. S is a wedding photographer as well, so we know we have some wiggle room in there
Thank you SO MUCH for this timeline! I haven’t done mine yet and I needed a starting point
The only thing that I’m looking at and questioning is this… Do you really want your guests to go from 4:00-7:00 w/o seeing you or your bridal party? I think you should double the cocktail hour with the bridal party photo’s, and move stuff up an hour. Also, what kind of ceremony are you having? I went to a long version Catholic wedding (the longest wedding EVER!) not too long ago and it only lasted 45 mins… so I don’t think you should have to necessarilly count on 1 hour for the ceremony either. Most only last about 15-30 mins. Just my thoughts for you, take ‘em or leave ‘em.
Two hours for bridal party photos? What are the guests doing during this time?
Are your ceremony and reception at two different places? Two hours between the ceremony and cocktail hour seems like a long break for guests. But, that depends on the distances they have to drive, etc.
It’s funny because compared to the weddings I have been to, a 2 hour break is short! I’ve had to kill 3 or 4 hours between weddings in the past!
Everything will be close together (locationally), but in a downtown area where there are stores, coffee shops, restaurants, etc. And we’ll more than likely be at the cocktail hour at some point, so they’ll see us within that time
We’re big into photography so having plenty of time to go all over was very important! And, we can’t change those important timelines - the ceremony has to start at 3 and the cocktail at 6 because that’s what’s on the invitations!
@Miss Stiletto: Our mass begins at 1:30 (so over by 2:30 at the latest or so), and we don’t start things up again until 5:30. We’re advising guests to make the ~ 15 mile drive, park in the city and relax near the venue during the down time, when we’ll be off with the bridal party taking crazy candids!
My timeline stresses me just to think about it! One thing the site manager suggested though was to do dances between courses of our seated dinner. There is normally a slow point where no servers are out but everyone would still be seated to see the father/daughter dance and things like that. Hopefully that will help speed things along!
My main concerns with this timeline are:-
- What are the guests doing between 4pm and 6pm? I always thought part of the point of the cocktail hour was to entertain the guests while you have your photos.
[our cocktail hour was straight after the ceremony, and while we took 15 mins or so to do some quick photos, most of that time was spent saying hi to our guests]
- Are you sure an hour is long enough for dinner? And only 15 mins for toasts? I would have thought these were the two aspects that would be most likely to overrun (I don’t think I’ve ever been to a normal dinner out that lasted an hour, let alone a wedding meal)
Have you asked your venue if they have a rough estimate of a normal timeline for a wedding there? We did that with ours, and it was a great help - after all, they hold 100 weddings a year, and we don’t!
@lou: this has been so interesting to me because I’ve NEVER gone to a wedding where the ceremony and reception were back to back! When does everyone take pictures??
We were actually told by our caterer that dinner is usually 45 minutes, so I think we’re safe there. And I guess with the toasts…again, I’ve never been a at a wedding where anyone spoke more than a minute or two each! And we’ll only have a couple of folks giving toasts…
Thanks for the feedback everyone!
I think we’ll probably be opting for photos before the ceremony so that we can take a really long time getting the perfect shots, we won’t have to rush through pictures, or miss the cocktail hour. Its not for everyone since some consider it to be bad luck to see each other before the wedding. If thats the case then you can take family, and you and your bridal party pictures, anything without both the bride and the groom together before the ceremony.
I think usually people have the ceremony, and take pictures while their guests are enjoying the cocktail reception. This way guests don’t have to find something else to do while you take pictures. Don’t forget they will be dressed up for the event so it may be hard for them to do anything touristy running around the city in heels.
What about a tour of the city on a bus for your guests?
You don’t want any pictures of everyone dancing? Theres bound to be some moments where you wish you could have captured that. What about the send off picture?
Admittedly our wedding was in England, so it’s probably a bit different to what you’re used to, but if I remember rightly our timeline was something like this …
1:30pm - photographer arrives at hotel, takes few getting ready pics
2:30pm - photographer goes to venue, takes pics of groom and his side of family
3:00pm - bride leaves hotel. Few family photos once arrive at venue.
3:30pm - ceremony
4:00pm - ceremony ends, cocktail hour begins. Couple photos, group photos
5:00pm - dinner begins, speeches between main course and dessert
7:45pm - dinner ends, tea and coffee
8:00pm - cake cutting, first dance
8:15pm - dancing!
12:00pm - hometime
We very much wanted a reportage/journalistic feel to the photos - the photographer was constantly taking pics throughout the whole day, so we didn’t really need much time for ‘posed’ pics. We honestly didn’t spend more than 20 minutes away from the guests.
Are your ceremony and reception in different locations? If so, that makes sense - ours was at the same place, so the reception literally started as soon as the guests left the ceremony!
Since photography is so important to us, but we don’t want our guests waiting much at ALL, we decided to do pictures before. There will be a “reveal,” but not at the altar.
I’d leave longer for toasts as well, because people might spontaneously decide to toast you after hearing the planned toasts.
… oh, and our photographer stayed til 9pm, so we had some photos of people dancing etc. Not necessarily the type of photos you’d put in a frame on the wall, but they were definitely fun pics - great to see everyone having such a good time!
OOOO. i love this timeline. it’s a great place for me to start and imagine how the big day will unfold for us. i really wonder how long it will take us to do all of the photographs. i think your two hour block is perfect. i’ve been to weddings where it’s been too short and people are rushed…and then to weddings where it’s too long and people are not sure where they should be or what they should be doing. i can imagine that we will probably do around an hour and a half and have a whole other schedule for the photographers!
Miss Stiletto - I know what you’re saying about the gap between the ceremony and cocktails/reception. I suspect it may be a regional thing (?), but until my own wedding, I never went to one where there wasn’t at least a two hour gap between events. It was just assumed that guests would entertain themselves (either go out to a bar, go back to the hotel, etc.). So when I started planning mine, I was shocked that my in-laws were expecting to go right from the ceremony to cocktails.
I know some people plan a very casual event at someone’s house for people to attend between the ceremony and cocktail (in Wisconsin where I’m from, a lot of people call it the “middle reception” and it often involves a backyard and a couple kegs ;). That may not be feasible in your situation, but it’s a thought if you’re starting to worry about the time gap or if guests are saying things.
In the end, if you are comfortable with the timeline, don’t worry - as long as things aren’t happening in a really isolated location and guests have some options of things to do in the down-time, they’ll survive. Just enjoy your day, and make sure you and your FI are happy!
I’ve only been to one wedding where they went directly from the ceremony to the reception and it was held in the same place and it was a Jewish ceremony. So, they had to see each other first to sign the ketubah any way. I see nothing wrong with your time line, in fact it is pretty spot on for what my coordinator laid out.
I have a two hour gap as well and they will likely be driving for a half hour or longer of that time. We’ve given them plenty of options and frankly I’m getting married in some of the most historic few miles in the country. I wouldn’t sweat the gap.
Will you be sad if you don’t get any photos of your guests dancing?? Those are some of the funniest and candid photos from my wedding, and definitely something you might want to get a few of.
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Mrs. Stiletto, Chicago
Age and Occupation: 26, Non-Profit/Fundraising
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Engineer and Photographer
Engagement Date: March 2, 2008
Wedding Date: September 2009
Venue: The 19th Century Club
About Me: My fiance and I love living in the city of Chicago with our cats Basil and Linus, and vow to never move to the suburbs if we can possibly avoid it! We’ve poured ourselves into planning a wedding that reflects our personal style - modern and high contrast with a vintage twist. Blogging keeps me creative, baking keeps me happy, and grande nonfat no foam sugar free vanilla lattes keep me sane.
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