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Mr. S and I met with our minister this weekend to begin discussing the type of ceremony we might like. The next time we meet we’ll really get into the details, but this meeting was to get us thinking about what is important to us.
In the car on the way to church, we discussed how we didn’t want a unity candle because it didn’t really feel like us. Of course, the topic came up later in our meeting, and we shared our feelings about it. Our minister, however, gave us a completely new outlook.
We had been thinking about the thing and the stuff more than the meaning.
Wikipedia states that it “is to symbolize the union of two individuals, becoming one in commitment”. Our minister outlined something similar to this, but she also made another great point. When we light the unity candle, it’s our time as a couple during the ceremony to have our moment together - amidst the roomful of onlookers - to quietly say special things to one another. I liked that - our time. We’re still in debate on doing a first look (he’s pro, I’m anti), so maybe this unity candle time can be all our own?
We’re definitely now considering making this a part of the ceremony, as we explore other traditions, verses, poems and songs that will make the ceremony special and a part of us. In true Miss Stiletto form, I’ve scouted some unity candle inspiration on Etsy, although you’d better believe if we choose to do this I’ll be DIYing this project!
Here’s some inspiration I found that would fit with our color scheme:
Source: Etsy
Source: Etsy
Source: Etsy
Source: Etsy
What are you incorporating into your ceremony to make it feel special?
The first two are perfect! If you DIY, show us your process. I would love to trim that cost.
That’s an awesome way to think of the lighting! We aren’t allowed much flexibility on our ceremony, catholic mass will do that to you 
We felt the same way about the unity candle. Also, logistically it didn’t make since for an outdoor sunset wedding. We do want to do something similar, but we haven’t decided for sure yet.
Our Catholic church doesn’t allow unity candle ceremonies — along with a laundry list of other restrictions. We’re not too fussed though, because we weren’t planning on including one, and will have “us” time with our first look and drive up to the ceremony location and back into the city!
We have lost people that are very close to us so in the beginning of the ceremony candles will be lit to remember they are with us the entire time!
We used our parents’ unity candles to light our taper candles and then the tapers to light our unity candle.
They didn’t match (and it didn’t matter), but it was extremely meaningful to us and to our parents. Our officiant loved this, too.
@Miss Mouse: @Miss Mouse:
Try the unity sand. Its so cute, and you can keep it! Exspecially outdoors it might be harder to keep it lit!
I love the first one!
We did the sand ceremony. I didn’t consider it to be a critical part of the ceremony, but I LOVE the fact that we have one of our vintage aqua Ball jars filled with the sand from the ceremony as a keepsake from the wedding. Plus, sand was appropriate for a beach wedding!
Befire the wedding, we didn’t even think about the unity candle being a special moment for the two of us during the ceremony, but your minister is right it definitely was! It was sweet to have a minute to talk to each other, but I think all we really said was “I love you so much!” and then “take your time… this song is supposed to play for more than like 10 seconds”
We would love to do the wine & box ceremony. We just do not like the unity candle/sand ceremony, as we have no intention of displaying those items around the house. I really think it is important for each couple to pick something that is a reflection of their relationship and family traditions.
Yay, unity candle! =) This is one of my very very favourite wedding traditions…so glad that you’re going to be able to have that special moment with Mr. Stiletto!
We talked about a Unity candle, but ultimately virtually every wedding in our church has a unity candle, so we decided on Unity Sand instead. Plus, since our ceremony is going to be outside, I really don’t want to chance the wind blowing it out and having an eternally jinxed marriage! 
Instead of a unity candle, we’re going with unity sand.
Something that I’ve always found interesting is the blowing out of the single candles after the bigger candle is lit. I think the symbolism of blowing out your own candle rubs me the wrong way. Yes, of course I’m forming a new life with my new husband, but that doesn’t extinguish my life prior to this. I like the idea though! I think that the first candle you pictured is GORGEOUS:)
@meganmp1: BTW, I meant to add that I like the idea if you keep your own candles lit. Oop!
@meganmp1-
I was scrolling down here to say the exact same thing as you! I agree 100%!
We got our unity candle custom done through http://www.kdbridaldesigns.com - check the site out, there’s some really good deals! I looked all over the internet, and couldn’t justify like $50+ for a unity candle, and I ended up getting a custom garter and a set of three custom unity candles for only $25 total.
ours is and outdoor ceremony so i don’t think is a good option, but def we want to do something, maybe sand, i don’t know if that’s only for a beach ceremony tho.
can’t have a unity candle at our Catholic wedding. they say it takes away from the rest of the ceremony and is actually redundant.
My priest (catholic) and we for that matter didn’t like the idea. Apparently it’s a fairly new thing and the catholic church doesn’t like the symbolism.
Candle light is the light of God and if you snuff your own candles and leave only one does that mean you snuff the light of God and focused on yourself only? or something like that. Basically, you don’t need props to show the people you’re now one family…the candle is redundant.
That said. Do what you like!
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Mrs. Stiletto, Chicago Age and Occupation: 26, Non-Profit/Fundraising Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Engineer and Photographer Engagement Date: March 2, 2008 Wedding Date: September 2009 Venue: The 19th Century Club About Me: My fiance and I love living in the city of Chicago with our cats Basil and Linus, and vow to never move to the suburbs if we can possibly avoid it! We’ve poured ourselves into planning a wedding that reflects our personal style - modern and high contrast with a vintage twist. Blogging keeps me creative, baking keeps me happy, and grande nonfat no foam sugar free vanilla lattes keep me sane.
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