Wedding Blog
So uh, I have something to share with you. It’s not something I’ve been hiding: I mention it from time to time (though mostly on the boards). It’s not something I’ve openly and frankly talked about in any posts, either. In fact, I wasn’t planning on discussing it at all. It’s the past, and that’s where it belongs, right? Mr. Mary Jane’s and my wedding is happy, and way more fun to blog about. But as my wedding date draws nearer, my past is on my mind more and more, and I feel I need to share my experience with you all. My hope is that I’ll help someone or at least touch other ladies with similar situations to mine. I want you to know that I have been there, done that, and lived to tell about it.
So here it is: I’m divorced.
[source]
When I was 19 and a sophomore in college, I met someone nice.
He was nicer than any other guy I dated. We were engaged at 21 and married at 22. My parents thought he was nice too, but my (very wise) mother kept encouraging me to wait. “You’re so young,” she said. “You want to be sure,” she said. “I want to get married!” I said. “We’re mature adults, out of college and everything!” So we were married in a small (20 person) beach wedding. And about 2 years ago, I became a 24-year-old divorcee. We were definitely lacking a lot of the things it takes to have a true marriage partnership. We didn’t understand how much harder you have to work at marriage than you do at a casual relationship. Even though we’d lived together, moved across the country together, and done all the Stuff That Married Couples Do… it just did not work. We didn’t understand the ramifications of marriage when we entered in to it. Mrs. Cheese has written wonderful posts about this that have touched my heart and soul. Rather than paraphrase her experiences and advice, I’m just telling you: Go read Mrs. Cheese. And take her advice seriously. She knows how it is.
There a few reasons I’m writing this post. First, I want you to make sure you are thinking very clearly about the reasons why you’re marrying. I often see posts in the boards that indicate that some engaged couples are missing the oh-so-important communication and cooperation skills, trust, and selflessness that can save a relationship when times get hard. If you don’t have all these qualities, get counseling. Read self-help books. Get tips from other couples. If one of you is resistant to helping your relationship in these ways, seriously think about how that could effect your future together. Remember that you are not marrying a husband, you are marrying the guy you’re engaged to. The event of marriage won’t solve any existing issues. If one or both of you aren’t partner material yet, it’s time to get up to speed. And seriously. Don’t marry because you want a wedding. A wedding lasts a day. Your life lasts, um, your whole life.
[source]
And I also warn you to be very, very careful about throwing around the legal outs of marriage, even in the back of your head. DO NOT enter in to your marriage thinking “Well, if it doesn’t work out, we can always get divorced!” Because seriously? Divorce sucks. Even if you’re not religious, and even if your family is supportive, it’s still an awful, awful thing to go through. As much as I told myself that it’s just like breaking up with a long term boyfriend, it’s not. I’ve done that too, and this hurts worse; it hurts deeper. It hurts differently. It takes a long time to get over. It changes you. Mine was the smoothest, easiest, most amicable and mutually cooperative procedure you could imagine. But it still broke my heart, and when I think about it now, it can still bring me to tears (even though I have no doubt that it was the right choice).
Lastly, I want to share with you how I’m feeling with only about 2 months left before my nuptials. I’m feeling excited of course, but also a little sad. Obviously I’m not sad to be marrying Mr. Mary Jane - he’s the best partner I could possibly ask for. But memories are memories, and it’s hard not to experience deja vu while accomplishing wedding tasks. (And did I mention that our marriage license application will be stapled to my divorce decree, forever nestled together in the county’s file? Ick.) Most of all though, I am confident. My previous marriage and divorce have matured me more than any other single event in my entire life. I have learned about pain, about loss, about compatibility, and about couplehood. I have learned about what it takes to have a strong and lasting relationship, and I continue to learn and evolve the kind of partner I am, as well recognize what kind of partner Mr. Mary Jane is for me. (He’s a good one! :))
As far as I’m concerned, my married days will start in September when I marry Mr. Mary Jane. He won’t be my “second husband”: he’ll be Mr. Mary Jane: my partner in life (and in crime!). We’ll be a team, and that fills me with a joy so huge I cannot contain it.
Are you an “encore” bride? How has your experience changed your outlook as you prepare (or prepared) to remarry?
|
Share this post: The Big D.
I’m not an encore, but great post and thanks for writing it! I agree with some of the things I hear from on people here and in real life and I hope all those people get to read your post and thing carefully because I agree…divorce is no fun no matter what!
I too am an encore bride. My previous divorce has *completely* changed the way I look at marriage and what I am willing to do to make THIS relationship work. I tell myself daily, “I’ve already screwed this (marriage) up once before, I’m NOT going to do it again” (and the end of my previous marriage had nothing to do with me solely, it just *wasn’t* working for us anymore.) It’s especially harder because we have kids.
Great post Miss MJ.
MJ, this post was so thoughtfully and beautifully written. I just want to hug you forever. Thank you for your honest, brave and wonderful openness, and the advice, too. You’re obviously ready for this, and you and Mr. MJ are a great team.
great post! I fully and whole heartedly agree. As an encore, with kids from that marriage there have been lots of different things to think about. We have decided to view the wedding as the beginning of our FAMILY, not just a marriage.
Thank you for writing this. It lets me know I’m not alone in feeling a little bittersweet about my upcoming marriage. I had a less than one year marriage in my early twenties and it definitely changed me. But I hope that I am a better person because of it and have tools to help me in my “forever marriage”.
Miss Mary Jane you just tugged at my heart a bit. Second time around has such a stigma…especially when you’re young, but the girls need to know exactly what you said- you are marrying this man right here that you’re engaged to. Neither of your fundamental beings are going to change once the rose petals have been strewn and the jazz band packs up.
I am also a second time bride. I don’t consider it “round 2″ or a “do over”. I just know that THIS man is the man of my dreams. I married at 26, a man who swept me off my feet…a musician who looked into my eyes as if he were speaking directly to my soul. It was magical and we were giddy and one random Wednesday morning we drove to a courthouse an hour outside of town. I remember my vows and remember those piercing eyes speaking my own words right back to me. Never before had I felt like I did in that moment- I was making a promise to God and a promise to myself…and wasn’t letting either of us down.
After 2 yeas my husband strayed from the marriage and I only knew of it the day he packed up his stuff and said he wanted a divorce. I found out a few weeks later that another woman was involved…and she had a baby on the way. I was devastated and heart broken….and again, Miss Mary Jane, it is not a hurt like you’ve ever felt. It goes so much deeper than you could ever imagine. I had let myself down- what hadn’t I done? What would I say to my Father, my Heavenly Father? How could I have let this happen.
And…what happens is…with time and maturity, you open your eyes and see the relationship for what it was worth. The person who was not always there for you, didn’t have your best interests at heart and who truly didn’t love you the way you deserve to be loved.
Fade to 4 years later…a casual acquaintence brings Mr. Lalaland into the picture…and at this point in my life I wasn’t sure exactly what I wanted in a man, but I was passionately aware of what I couldn’t have in a relationship. Mr. Lalaland exhibits maturity, selflessness, humor, trust, honor and certainly passion! There are so many things I never knew I wanted or needed, for that matter, that just materialized before me. My Father knew what he was doing and I feel certain had I not had my first experience, I wouldn’t be able to cherish this one so much. I am thrilled…happy…hopeful…and content.
Things are different. No courthouse! I want the dress, the cake, the music and of course FLOWERS 
This is not my second marriage…just the one that He meant for me.
Happy wedding Happy marriage to you xoxo
@lalalandTN: Thanks so much for sharing your experience! Congrats on finding The One!
And thanks to everyone for your comments.
I think I fell in love with you for this post. It was so well-written and carefully thought out. I could feel your words through and through.
This is my first and final marriage. For life. I know he’s the one not only because of all the great and fabulous times we’ve had (and there have been many) but also because of the annoying times when we disagree.
Life is real, no roses. You’re bound to disagree. You’re bound to get on each other’s nerves. BUT how do you handle it? How are you willing to get through it? Are you both committed to the relationship wholeheartedly?
I think a lot of people spend time feeling like they can change things or that things will get better. I loved your line, “Remember that you are not marrying a husband, you are marrying the guy you’re engaged to.” It’s beyond the truth.
We’ve been reading the book 7 Principales to Making your Marriage Work (It was a book discussion on here and I loved it. would totally recommend to others). It puts into words what needs to happen in relationships in order to make them work because relationships are WORK.
Just thank you, Miss Mary Jane.
I’m going to be an encore fiancee….I just wanted to say Thank You for this post Miss MJ! I was lucky enough to realize 2 months before “our wedding” that he was not the right man for me. It KILLED me for a long time. Looking back, sigh, it was the “dodged bullet” that some of the Hive refer to. Much love to you & Mr MJ….I have 2 loved ones (who divorced one another) now super happily married to their right person. It makes my heart sing with joy.
I married a man who was married before - so I know that it has its own set of challenges. Thanks for sharing! I know it will help a lot of other women out there!
@happilywaiting: I’m so glad you saw what was right for you, before getting stuck with the wrong partner!
This whole discussion made me cry!My first marrige was brief and gave me my (now 15 year old) daughter. My last marriage ended unexpectedly, and while it was for the better, every now and then I question whether or not getting married again is even the right thing; I have no doubt that Mr. Karma will make a perfect life partner, but I wonder sometimes if I have any business getting married again. How many “once in a lifetimes” does one person get?
FI and I talk about it alot, and speak openly and only half-jokingly about the only exit clause being certain death. In a wierd way, it’s comforting to know that he is as determined as I am to make this work, no matter what.
So with a deep breath, no regrets and no looking back, here we go!
This is a great post (and not just because you were nice about my posts). I was worried that our wedding day would be bittersweet and that I wouldn’t be able to avoid remembering my Other Wedding Day… and to be honest, right before walking down the aisle, I looked up to the skies and thanked the universe for giving me a second chance, then bid goodbye to my previous husband. That was it. From that point forward, “my husband” is Mr. Cheese, and my marriage isn’t my “second” because this one is good. It’s much, much harder, but I think that comes with knowing what you’re in for and trying to be the best person you can. Not doing that is easy, but not right.
Getting divorced was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, because I had to face who I was. Getting married again came in a close second, because I had to face everything I wouldn’t be.
I have no doubt that you’ll be fine. You know where you stand and who you are. Smoochies! And bless you for your honesty. I’m proud of ya!
@lalalandTN: You told that beautifully. Congrats on finding the guy for you.
Wow Miss Mary Jane…thank you so much for sharing this. I narrowly avoided becoming a two time bride. I was engaged to the wrong person and didn’t have the guts to end it. I knew it was wrong, even before I accepted his proposal. Young and foolish, I thought we could work it out. I thought that life was never perfect and a person who complimented me as my equal could not exist. Fortunately, time and distance did the breaking up for me and we didn’t take ‘the plunge’. Looking back, I know with certainty that it wouldn’t have worked out.
But here’s the thing - I learned more from that experience than any self help book could have taught me. I’m kind of a bang my head against the wall till it hurts kind of girl - I don’t listen well to other people’s advice unless I’ve lived it myself. That relationship prepared me from the one I am currently in. The one I like to think is the right one. I found the man who is my equal, who I can argue with constructively and who I am completely satisfied and happy with.
I am sure divorce hurts more than any break up ever could. Again, thanks for posting this. I think a lot of girls need to hear it.
@Miss MJ - as much as it hurt…it worked out. But it also much more opened my eyes to the unimaginable hurt that divorced couples go through. I thank God that I only had to make a phone call to my mum and send one email to my BM’s, they took care of the dreaded cancellations & notifications…I wasn’t strong enough at the time.
But it has given me a stronger kick in the butt about watching out for my own happiness…how can I be happy with someone else if I’m not happy with myself. This time, I know it’s gonna be right….like you & your Mr….much love to you both.
MMJ! Thank you so much for sharing this. My mom tells me all the time, ” Love is wonderful because it is hard.” I’m from a family ridden with divorce and it can be discouraging, especially when many of my twentysomething brethren are so jaded they don’t believe in marriage at all anymore. I think the important thing is, not to sound trite, but the important thing is not to get jaded but to learn from your own experiences and others and to commit to not repeat the same behaviors and expect a different outcome. I appreciate your candid honesty and I am so happy that you are happy!
ive picked up once of twice your reference to a previous marriage and i was a bit surprised and guessed you must have been very young. thanks for sharing your history - and heres to a wonderful future for you and your Mr!
And, um, not to be all arrogant and all, but here are my divorce-related posts so you don’t have to search through all of my dramatic HOLY SHIT I”M RUNNING OUT OF TIME posts:
http://www.weddingbee.com/2008/12/10/honesty/
http://www.weddingbee.com/2008/12/04/closing-the-lid-gently/
http://www.weddingbee.com/2008/10/29/second-marriage-wedding/
http://www.weddingbee.com/2009/05/14/coulda-woulda-shoulda-2/
http://www.weddingbee.com/2009/05/12/lucky-2/#more-92845
http://www.weddingbee.com/2009/05/09/nervous-hell-yes-but-nervous-isnt-panic/
http://www.weddingbee.com/2009/04/29/doubts/
http://www.weddingbee.com/2009/04/03/how-much-do-you-acknowledge-your-past/
http://www.weddingbee.com/2009/02/15/mourning-the-fairy-tale/
http://www.weddingbee.com/2009/02/04/marital-arguments/
http://www.weddingbee.com/2009/01/12/confessions-of-a-second-time-bride-part-1/
http://www.weddingbee.com/2009/01/14/confessions-of-a-second-time-bride-part-ii/
Well, okay, I guess I blogged about being divorced a lot. *blush* Maybe this wasn’t so helpful after all.
@Miss Mary Jane & @lalalandTN: Thank you so much for sharing
@Mrs. Cheese: you are the BEST! Seriously. Thank you so much for linking those here. i was going to do it but I didn’t want to link-jack your entire archives. Also, I am very, very lazy. THANK YOU again for posting your links. Everybody else: READ THEM.
Oh, bless you. I was so embarrassed by how darned long that list was that I sent you a PM!
@Mrs Cheese - You are ummm…my Bee Crush…sigh….no blushing ever necessary. Well okay, I’m a little blushing now to put that out there….but anyways….I do love all of y’all! And yes…I’m a Cheese-a-holic.
@Mrs. Cheese: I just laughed out loud and cannot wait to read your posts! …digging in…Mr Lalaland will need to tend to the tilapia in the oven…ahem…
Miss Mary Jane, thanks for sharing this with us - I’ll be honest, I had seen your divorce mentioned in a previous post or two in passing, and I was curious about the circumstances. It’s nice to know that, as hard as it can be, that the heart can heal, and that you are entering into your marriage for the right reasons, having found the right partner.
I liked your post. The big D is tough to talk about for a lot of people. I too married way too young the first time and for all the wrong reasons. Congratulations on finding the “one for life”
Thanks for sharing Mary Jane. You are so wise and I know will have the most beautiful marriage.
Thank you so much for being brave enough to openly sharing this with the hive.
This was a wonderful post, MJ. From the heart.
@lalalandTN: Your honesty and optimism . . . wow.
Oh Cheese don’t be embarrassed!!! I loved reading your posts, it really made me feel like I knew you, and I know that it helped you sort through your previous marriage. Its a great form of therapy
Miss MJ, thanks so much for posting this! I’ve seen you mention it in the boards, and always wondered about your previous marriage. While I’m not an encore bride, I respect the fact that you Bees had the balls to post about that part of your lives. The most important thing is you learned so much from your experiences, and you’ve become a better person - that’s all you can ask out of a bad experience.
I love posts like this, it really makes me think about my impending nuptials. I feel so confident in the fact that I get to marry FI, and even thought I’ve found out that I need to work on my communication and fighting skills (thanks to Mrs Cheese and the Seven Principles to Make a marriage work). I believe that the self help marriage books will make our marriage work throughout all the trials and tribulations that come our way - because we don’t believe in divorce. We’ve talked ad nauseum about cheating and divorce, which is so wonderful because I really feel like we’re working towards a common goal - to have a happy wonderful marriage and make sure that we’re still crazy in love with each other in 50 years.
Ok I’ll stop rambling now… great post!
MJ- Thanks for the post. I was just thinking about this earlier today. I’m an encore FI. About 6 months before the wedding my ex-FI told me that he no longer wanted to have children. I didn’t know what to do our think. I had spent thousands of dollars on our wedding. My parents money! When I finally talked to family and friends (2 months later) I realized that I should not have to give up my hopes and dreams for anyone and no amount of money or time spent planning was worth the inevitable heartache to I knew would later result had we gotten married. I too hope that if there are ladies out there reading this post that are seriously doubting their engagement slow down planning the wedding and evaluate who you are and who he is. Thanks again MJ!
Thank you for your honesty…this couldn’t had been easy to type up! I appreciate real honest posts…this was definitely one them!
Sorry for my grammar mistakes! I was watching So You Think You Can Dance and typing at the same time!
I’m not an encore because I never went through with it the first time… but this isn’t the first time I’ve planned a wedding. It might not have hurt quite as deeply as if we had gotten married and then divorced, but the breakup was incredibly painful (in a way that more significant relationships in my life ending were NOT), and also really embarrassing. I felt like a failure.
But it has made me more sure of this partnership. I am more aware of all the reasons I ended that relationship than I might have been if we had not been so close to marriage, I think, and I’ve made a wiser, more mature choice.
This is an awesome post I love the honesty on opening your heart like that.
Miss MJ, this was a very brave, honest, and heartstring-tugging post. Very reminiscent of my favorite qualities in Cheese. I am doing my best to learn from the older and wiser Bees among us. Thank you.
I want to commend you for this post. It was personal, fragil and from the heart. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! I am sure it will be one to remember!
Wow, Miss MJ. I can only echo what others have said at this point, but I love the honesty of this post! These are very wise words. I’m glad you’ve found your one and only with Mr. MJ.
Oh, this sounds awfully familiar. I was married at 23. The marriage lasted nearly 20 years, and produced two children (now 27 and 25). He left just after my older child turned 13. The divorce became final in 1996, but we had joint custody, so we continued working together to rear the children.
When we got married, I was determined to stay married for life. What I failed to account for is that I might not have that choice.
What I realized over the years is that my ex and I were about 99% compatible. We had similar politics, similar religion, similar views on child-rearing, similar outlooks on life. The problem was that he has Asperger’s, which makes the development of negotiating skills very tough. He could insist on his own way, or give in to mine, but he could not negotiate or compromise. Given that, the 1% incompatibility finally drove us apart.
I am now entering into a marriage that will not allow for divorce. We are a same-sex couple, and our home state does not recognize same-sex marriage. Consequently, it will not grant a same-sex divorce. And although you can get married anywhere, you can only get a divorce in the state in which you live. So we could only get a divorce if one of us moved to a jurisdiction that recognizes same-sex marriage.
And yes, it is scary. In some ways it would be easier if my ex were an alcoholic, or violent, or otherwise clearly incompatible. But I have already had the experience of being with someone whom I loved, who appeared compatible, but who left me. It is a leap of faith to bind myself irrevocably with a new person, no matter how much I love her and think we are destined to be together for life.
At the same time, I’ve been through years of therapy to figure out what happened last time, and what has to be different this time. And NotFroofy is nothing like my ex-husband. She is passionate and communicative, and I cannot imagine her ever just withdrawing and then leaving the way he did.
My ex-husband will be at my wedding. But I already said good-bye to our marriage a long time ago. I am nervous, but also tremendously excited, to be marrying NotFroofy.
My husband’s an encore, and he is a stronger, wiser, better man for the experience. Do I sometimes wish I was the only wife he ever had? Sure, but I have no doubt that if it weren’t for his previous experience, he would not be the strong, supportive, mature partner he is today, so in a way I am thankful. I have no idea what you (or he) have gone through, but it hurts my heart that you have seen such pain. I am joyful, though, that you have such love and happiness now. Best wishes in your marriage, and thank you for such an eloquent post about the difference between a wedding and a marriage.
So glad you decided to post about this, MJ! The mutual will to rise to the challenge of taking care of this thing you call a marriage is a difficult but rewarding task, and I completely agree with your inventory of couple skills that help make it possible! I appreciate you being forthright and open about this with the hive. XOXO
Mrs. MJ,
This post made me cry. I’m not an encore bride, but I am, however, an encore Fiance. The first time I got engaged I was 16. That sounds awful, but he was my first love. Our love was dramatic, passionate, and completely selfish. We were together all through high school and through our first year of college. My ex couldn’t do the commitment. He realized I was the only true relationship he had ever experienced, and that we were selfish. We expected too much of each other. We broke up about 2 months before we planned to run away and get married. Then I met my fiance, and I knew within a week. He was the one. I knew that we would do anything for each other. That this love was passionate, and intense, but also steady, and giving, and understanding. We communicated, and we just GET each other. It’s the most selfless love I’ve ever experienced. He’s the one I want to give my whole life to.
Thank you so much for this post. You have no idea how many people you’ve touched.
Miss MJ, thank you for this great post! You found the perfect words.
Thanks, Miss MJ! You’ve mentioned before that you were an encore bride (I think when talking about photography) and I wondered about your story. Thank you for sharing your tough times and how it affects you now!
My mom was engaged to someone else before she met my Dad. She said she knew it was wrong from the beginning, but she’d been dating him for ages, and had the “what if no one else ever asks me?” syndrome. She had this feeling like she didn’t want to refer to him as “my fiance”. When she realised it was wrong she told him and he got very angry and stormed off and she never saw him again. This experience made her constantly tell me to make sure to find the right man, make sure you want to shout it from the rooftops, but remember that a wedding is for a day and a marriage is for life. Thanks, Mom!
Thanks for posting this, Miss MJ… it’s been said here before, but all too often it’s easy to get swept up in planning a wedding and not the marriage! I appreciate you candor about the subject… sharing not just the fun planning details but also the life experiences that built you into the person you are. My FI is actually the previously married partner in our relationship, and at first he would always try to hide details about his former marriage or refer to his ex in his stories as “a friend”. We had a heart-to-heart early on in the planning process that reminded him I love him for who he is now and that she’s part of that. His first marriage helped shaped him and teach him, and you can’t just erase it. Our two-year engagement was a product mostly of having an encore partner who felt it was necessary for him to wait. He insisted he was ready for the commitment, knew from our first date that we were going to get married… but the memory of an early marriage and divorce really changed his outlook on relationships and added an air of caution about the whole thing.
Anyway, I’ve gone off on a bit of a personal tangent there that I didn’t intend to start…. thanks again for sharing with us!
These are beautiful words written with such thoughtfulness and candor. I appreciate it very much. THANK YOU!!
Thank you Miss MJ and everyone else who shared your stories. Your openness and willingness to talk about such an awkward thing are amazing and thought-provoking. Thanks for your honesty.
Thanks so much for willing to be ‘raw’ with the rest of us!
Thank you to everyone for sharing your comments and experiences!
I am an encore bride myself, & just got married to the love of my life 2 weeks ago after 6 years of dating! Some might say this is too long to wait, in fact, I may have said it a couple (thousand) times myself, but I know now that the timing was perfect. We went into our marriage full-on w/ the knowledge that it is FOREVER & w/o any issues with commitment…Cheers to you Miss MJ!
[...] Mary Jane talked about the the Big ’D’- well I’m going to talk about my personal evil - the big ’B’… the [...]
I’ve read those boards and wondered the same thing, too: are they ready? do they have the communication skills? do they KNOW what they’re getting into?
This is my first (and I intend for it to be my only!) marriage. But I’m 27. We communicate so well. I didn’t marry a husband (as you say); I married the man I loved, who is now my husband.
But I have read that the divorce rate is much higher for those who marry under 25 than those who are 25 and older. And tat makes sense, because I know I’m a lot more mature now (27) than at 22 or 24.
(Just to be clear, I got married just last month. so my comments about marriage and matury are purely speculative based on if I was ready to marry at 22 or not.)
Thanks again, everyone, for sharing your experiences!!
I want to add two things that i probably should have written in my post, but did not think of at the time.
1 - While (as Krista said) there have been studies that show that marriages of older couples have a higher rate of success, I do NOT want anyone to think that I don’t believe in young marriage. It really does depend on the people and the situation, not so much their ages. My experience marrying young turned sour, but other young couples will flourish. You have to do whatever you can to make sure you know yourself and your partner, and be able to flex with the changes life inevitably throws you way. Youngish bride Miss Star and her soon-to-be hubby are off to a great start - check her posts if you want some insight.
2- I also don’t want anyone to get the impression that the Mister and I are having a courthouse wedding because it’s my second time. That is simply not the case. We have many reasons, and this is not one of them. I’ve never been a weddingy girl; my first wedding was tiny as well (and I can give my mom and the ex’s mom most of the credit for the planning of it). Mr. Mary Jane and i chose this path for our wedding because we wanted it, not because I’m ashamed of remarrying or because we thought it’d be wrong to have a big party. If we were the type who liked to party, I’d have NO reservations about inviting 300 people and spending a fortune. It’s just not us. Make your celebration of love exactly what you want it to be, whether it’s your 1st chance or not.
That is all.
Miss MJ, this was a beautiful post, and I know that it must have been hard for you to do.
I am also an encore bride, married for the first time at 19 and divorced a few short years later. Doing this another time around is a scary process, and it was very touching that you opened up to us here on weddingbee.
It just makes me (and others) respect you all that much more! I know that I’m older and wiser this time around, and you show that same trait in all that you wrote about above and in all of your follow-up comments.
Keep your chin up and your eye on the prize!
| Visit our sister sites | Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Fertile Thoughts Infertility Support |
Mrs. Mary Jane, Grand Forks, ND
Age and Occupation: 26, Instructional Designer
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Lead Programmer
Engagement Date: February 28, 2009
Wedding Date: September 2009
Venue: City Hall
About Me: I'm a career woman on the surface and a homemaker at heart. I love fast cars and high heels, and my favorite food is cake. Mr. Mary Jane and I are both full-time employees and students, and we just bought our first house. We love to curl up on the couch with buttery popcorn, Sour Patch Kids, and the latest Netflix arrival -- whenever we can get a break from everyday life.
| Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
| 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |
| 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 |
| 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |
| 29 | 30 |
Latest Gallery Pics