Weddingbee Blog
Yesterday, Mary Jane talked about the the Big ’D’- well I’m going to talk about my personal evil - the big ’B’… the budget.
Do I have one? Yes.
Do I follow it? Not really.
Will I put myself in debt? Nope.
Does that make it okay to spend, spend, spend? Jury’s still out on that one…
When Mr. Gloss and I first started discussing the wedding we said, it would be crazy to spend more than $12K on a wedding.
After we did a little more research, we moved the bar to $15K. Needless to say, our wedding would not be extravagant; we are low key people and all we wanted to do was get married and throw a great party. We should be able to do that for $15K, right? Well, enter me, and add wedding blogs, and all that inspiration bombarding me daily. It was all saying, “True, we don’t need that, but wouldn’t it be great!?”
Now, I know we could’ve gotten married on $12K. When you think about it, we could really get married for just the cost of a marriage license. But that wasn’t the wedding we wanted.
So, this whole time, I’ve been trying to balance my vision with our budget. My ‘vision’ has a tendency to win. I’ve stopped adding things up—I’m scared of our total, and we are still a month out. All our vendors fit within our budget (except that DOC I added). But, it is all the little things I’m too terrified to add up that scare me. And the rings and honeymoon most definitely do not count.
My financial goal in life has always been to have enough money that I don’t have to worry about it. I am a worrier, and living paycheck to paycheck would be a huge stress for me (not that it is not stressful for everyone, but we are talking about something that I would worry so much about that it would make me physically ill). So, we live well within (probably below) our means, and in doing so, I have extra money to buy whatever I want, whenever I want. (Note: we are talking clothes and home decor here, not like cars and diamond jewelry.) So, knowing I have the funds to make our wedding happen the way we want it, without any financial strain, makes us do just that! It basically works like this: I find something I ‘need’ to have, I find the best deal I can, and go from there. We aren’t talking al-out luxury here, but these aren’t necessities, either.
How closely do you follow your budget? Would you spend more if you could?
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This sounds all to familiar. Except for one thing….I’ll be taking on debt due to the cost of the wedding. And that is with a budget as close to 7k as possible. 
I enter things onto my budget worksheet religiously…it’s rather sick, really. As soon as I have an estimate it’s on the projected, as soon as it’s bought it’s moved to the other side…but that doesn’t mean we’re not over budget 
Even though I’ve let myself get a bit out of control with that pesky vision, I like that I know exactly what I’ve spent and that I make it a point to keep myself aware so I know when enough is enough.
Although, I have to say that the day I added up all of the “little things” I’d bought on Etsy…geesh!!
Because we live in NYC and wanted to have the wedding here because it is “home” to us, we’ve had to be ultra-careful about where we spend our money. We have a large budget for anywhere else, but an itsy-bitsy one for Manhattan, so I count pennies. I wish we could’ve been a little more chill about the budget, but it has forced me to be really creative about things!
We’re being pretty srtict about the budget except on the honeymoon. We have decided that if we come under budget in one area, we’d apply the extra somewhere else. I think if we couls spend more, we would add a little.
This was an excellent post and a good reason to reconsider getting married, or at least rethinking when is a practical time to do so. I found another good, funny article that puts out seven tips from some bride-to-be’s about things you should know before getting hitched: http://thestimulist.com/lessons-learned-between-to-do-and-i-do/ It’s a nice read.
From the time that I really started to plan our wedding (6 months out) to the wedding day, our budget DOUBLED! Part of that wasn’t my fault (we had about double the amount of guests we expected!) but a lot of those expenses were due to my “vision.” And my DIY opportunities were very limited in the Cayman Islands. But I have no regrets, even Mr. K agreed that it was all worth it in the end.
yeah, I kinda do this too. We have more of a “guideline” budget - don’t spend ridiculously. most of the time, if we want/need something for the wedding, we get it. (granted, we’re not throwing the most lavish affair in the world)
I never bothered adding it up As long as you can pay the bills without messing your self up financially, why dwell?
We’ve actually been pretty good about our budget and have not gone over too much. I think between never really having any grand ideas of what my wedding should be as well as wanted to keep the planning as simple it’s allowed us to keep our spending at a reasonable level.
I’m so scared of deciding our budget! Still waiting for the “parental contributions” before we hammer out numbers. eeek!
We really didn’t have a budget sort of speak. Of course, the less we spent the better. We splurged on things that we knew we would have no regrets. I think it’s great to have a budget though.
I made a budget. And I stuck with it for my dress, the venue, and that’s about where it stopped. I fell in love with 3 menu options, fancy invites, and shoes I HAD to have. I just keep telling myself this is the only wedding day I’ll get to have!
I have budget spreadsheet but I haven’t followed closely. We also went into it knowing that we probably will go over by a little bit and tried to make room for unexpected items. Our budget is only around $6k, probably more like $6500 after everything is said and done. With that amount it’s been pretty much set in our heads from the beginning that we had to look for the best deals on just about everything. I check in on the budget about twice a month to make sure we’re on track. Adding up all the payments that will be due two weeks up to the day of the wedding was a definite reality check, it’s about 2/3 of our budget!! It’s really made me think long and hard about anymore misc. purchases.
I have a number in my head about how much I am comfortable spending. My fiance and I have talked about it, but it’s harder now since parents want to help with stuff. Do we add more to other aspects of the budget or be glad the help will bring us much under budget?
So now that parents are helping with some of the bigger portions I’m not sticking to the budget as tightly, just looking into finding the most budget friendly options that I still really like.
LOL Miss Gloss, I live my day to day life much like you, it seems. We live below our means so that if occasionally I’m dying for a pair of designer shoes it’s doesn’t strain us financially.
However, I had to set some concrete numbers down for the wedding once I started reading all the wedding blogs and finding lots of “inspirations” aka additional costs. So we have 2 budgets. One is the ideal budget, which is the number we first agreed would be a great number that we would be happy with. Then the ceiling budget, which is the “we’d better not spend more than this on one day otherwise we’d be fools.” Now whenever I purchase something/book a vendor, I actually have 2 spreadsheets to enter the data into, and as long as we end up somewhere between our ideal budget and our ceiling budget at the end of the wedding day, we’ll be happy
I also started out with a $12k number in mind…but knowing that I would really be ok with $15k. I try my best to stay within the budget, and so far have done a REALLY good job. But I know that as the day gets closer, those little things that don’t seem like a lot by themselves will add up BIG time when put all together.
We also live below our means, and are paying for the entire event ourselves, being encore bride and groom. We want what we want, and knowing that I’m only putting myself out in getting it really helps!
Good luck!
@donnaaries: Yes! I actually had three budget spreadsheets going at one point. One average $$ spent, one actual budgeted/spent, and one to remind myself how much things really cost if I didn’t shop around. IE - Sewing napkins and runners (total cost $35) vs. having them made or renting them. It reminds me that even though I’ve still spent a good deal of money, it could be A LOT worse
We’re having trouble even coming up with a budget number. I don’t like to set a limit on things. I would much rather just decide what I want and find the lowest possible price for the best quality item/vendor. I would totally end up in therapy if I had a specific number, since we really don’t have much at all to spend.
We have a budget and will be sticking to it as close as possible. I know that little things come up, especially in that last month or so, so we’re trying to factor in a bit to cover that as well. We have made a pact to not start the marriage off in debt, and any saving we have in the wedding account once it’s done will go towards the house down payment.
This may sound bad, but my FI and I have never discussed a budget. haha. From where I am looking we’ll probably only spend about 4 or 5k. We just pick up wedding related items when we see them on sale and what not.
The day really goes by so fast, I’m glad I focused on having just a few details/DIYs to bring my vision to life. It would have stressed me out not to track things, I really can’t imagine. Given that you commit to spending a lot of money up front but fork it over in phases, or all at once at the end, I would have been freaking out about whether there was enough money left for extras if I didn’t track my financial commitments. To me, it doesn’t matter if I can “afford” it. Having had post-prom-spending regret, I was committed to keeping my mind focused on how I would feel about my wedding the day, week and year after. So far, the little things I never accomplished don’t matter a bit.
We stick to our budget like glue. We’ll be fresh out of university, and of the two of us, I’m the one who saves more — but I’m also the one who has to pay my own way through. I bug him about how much he spends (mostly on me), but it’s a struggle sometimes.
I visit my budget application page at least 2 times per week trying to figure out where to cut costs. All of the major costs (caterer, photog, dress, etc.) all fit into our budget, but its the little (sometimes not so little) expenses of all the wonderful visions we have that add up. I try to stick to the budget on the big things, but definitely reach into my own pocket daily to purchase the little extra things along the way. I’ve got myself convinced that if I buy things along the way then I won’t even feel the financial strain because I just buy wedding items instead of clothes etc. It’s worked so far, and I feel pretty good about what we have been able to do outside of the budget, but we are still 120 days out and I’m worried about things that will come up that I “HAVE” to have. I think the month before the wedding, i am just going to disconnect my internet so I cant purchase anything else from etsy with the click of a button 
Agh, literally having a heart attack right now about the budget, since it has literally doubled since the wedding planning started…and the guest list is up to 220, from 150….KILL ME NOW!
I’m pretty religious about my budget at the end of the month, esp. when I’m paying my credit card bill. We are not going into any debt for the wedding and paying from a combination of us, my parents and his. We have a set amount to drop into a savings account every month and a set amount each parent is paying for/ what they are paying for. Sometimes my head wants to explode. I’m getting nervous because we haven’t had one no RSVP yet and I was counting on at least 20 nos. We might be revising!
Since the start of planning, our wedding budget has doubled (from 4K to 8K)! Even though I looked around at what things would cost I figured we could cut back in certain places. We ended up getting a DJ (instead of using our Ipod), hiring a florist to do centerpieces (instead of DIYing them). So we are right at our budget line. All of our major expenses are covered except for the honeymoon. Then there are the smaller things; invitations, place cards (and other paper products), votive candles, other random crafts, none of those things have been included in the budget. I am usually a budget conscious person and able to save a good chunk of money. With this wedding, I feel out of control with my spending.
I’m a apsender by personality. I fear what I would do with a limitless budget. Even though i think no matter how much you make, you’d like a “little” more (and that means different things to different people)…I try to content and spend within my means now so I don’t spend my life wishing for unattainably more!
ps. our orginial budget was $12,500 and I’m scared to add up the numbers now!
I’m in the same boat as you Miss Gloss. We also had the same grand vision of a wedding coming as close to 10K as possible for our almost 200 guests. Needless to say, we’ve moved quite a bit away from that budget now haha. But we’re not going in debt, we’re still making responsible decisions $ wise and have made a number of money saving moves that we’re really happy with. I have a similar set up with my budget worksheets and I know our wedding could have gone either way — we probably could have pulled off a much cheaper wedding if we cut out a lot of the stuff that we loved (but weren’t necessarily cheap options), but at the same time our wedding could have EASILY been double or more what it’s costing now if we made more traditional, WIC driven choices. In the end, I think we’re going to have a wedding we’re really happy with, will make our guests happy, and will have been the best reflection of us and what we love.
I don’t have a budget, I buy as I have the money and when I don’t, I don’t. I am tracking every single penny so that when it’s all over, I can add it up and see what the total amount came up to. I’m blessed that we are being given so many great services for the wedding from friends for free, as our wedding gift.
I am incredibly lucky when it comes to finding bargains and just creative enough to pull it together without looking inexpensive. It’s my (sadly, only) talent - but it’s helped me prevent wedding debt and leaves me able to still have an awesome wedding.
I know this feeling all too well. It’s a situation very familiar to me actually. Like you, I’ve been blogging about it to keep sane. I’m pretty sure we’re going to go over, but I’m doing my best to keep the overage as slim as possible.
I hear you! We were given $XX from my parents for the wedding and were told we could spend as much or as little as we liked, it was all for us. I thought wow, we can totally throw a great wedding for $10k and put the rest in the fund for our next house. Then I discovered that our rentals alone are more than $6k. Now my parents have offered to add another $5k to the budget because the original gift in TOTAL didn’t seem realistic (so much for adding to the house fund, I hope we don’t loose too much on this one!).
I watch the budget like a hawk and tally up expenses every other Friday. Right now with my “worst case scenario” budget I’ll have to chip in another few thousand dollars in addition to my family’s gift, but at least we’re not going into debt.
I don’t regret spending every last dollar of the generous gift, I just wish it wasn’t such a shock during the first few months of planning.
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Mrs. Gloss, Boston/Maine
Age and Occupation: 24, Designer/soon-to-be Architect
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Systems Engineer
Engagement Date: May 23, 2008
Wedding Date: August 2009
Venue: SS Katahdin/Lakeside Tent
About Me: I don't like nickels or the skin that forms on pudding when it's in the fridge for too long. I couldn't live without Pantone markers, fountain soda (3/4 diet, ¼ regular Coke), run-on sentences, or ridiculously oversized sunglasses. I will try to DIY almost anything and am just OCD enough to make most of it work. I am truly excited about having all my family and friends together, becoming Mrs. Gloss, and having amazing photos to prove it!
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