Wedding Blog
Some friends of ours were a little shocked to discover that with less than 25 days left, we’ve only received 4 wedding presents, only one of which was from the registry.
Is that weird? Our friends told us the presents started rolling in when they got to the 3 month mark. They literally were getting presents every day. I think that was the case because they were getting married in San Diego, but live in Seattle. They specifically asked guests (via their website) to mail gifts because they weren’t sure how they’d get them up to Seattle.
About 75-80% of our guests live in Seattle. Why would they pay for shipping when they could run down to Crate and Barrel and save a little dough? On the other hand, we did register at Amazon.com so we could save people money on shipping.
I think another reason we’re not getting gifts is because we don’t have a wedding website. I’m not sure everyone knows where we’re registered and I’m not really sure how I’d tell them. Plus, I think there are a lot of people (mostly my relatives) who are just giving us money.
Lucky for me, I haven’t really noticed the lack of packages much.
Early on, I stalked the registry, but with so little time and so much to do, stalking the registry isn’t on my list of things to do anymore. Registry stalking is now Mr. Joey’s job. Now that he’s out of school, he’s home when the mail person comes by, and he has a lot of time to surf online and look at all the things we haven’t received. Oh, how the tables have turned!
Did you receive a lot of wedding presents before you got married or did most people bring them to the wedding?
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We hardly received any wedding gifts before the wedding. I think only one or two gifts were sent to our place beforehand. All the other wedding gifts were either envelopes or gifts that people brought to the wedding. (Although I did have 2 showers, so that’s where most of the registry gifts came from).
Are are getting married on August 8th. We just recieved our 1st gift a week ago…we have received 3 total. I am in the same boat with you. I think it’s normal
I’m another August 8th bride and we have only received a few gifts as well for the wedding. Seems normal to me!
We’ve only received about 3 wedding gifts in the mail, but I have already had one shower where we got gifts (obvs) and I have another one tomorrow. It is SO hard not to registry stalk when you have a shower tomorrow!
@Miss French Bulldog: How fun. My shower isn’t until 6 days before the wedding!
I’ve got a wedding website, and we still haven’t gotten very many presents. I’m always fascinated to hear about people who get a ton of presents before the wedding.
I don’t think it’s weird. Of course, it depends where you live — I know a lot of people in the US will mail gifts, but here in Canada it’s uncommon. I also think that if people are giving you money, of course they’re going to wait to give it to you…no one wants a cheque to get lost in the mail! (Also, if your wedding’s local, that’s another reason why they’d bring them to the wedding.)
Nobody brought presents to our wedding (thank goodness!), but even so the presents didn’t really start to roll in until about a week before the wedding.
i live in VA and attended a wedding in Charleston SC (about 8 hours away). We bought the couple two gifts off of their registry, one of which had to be shipped directly to their house bc they didnt have it in stock in any of the stores near us. i insisted on bringing the other gift with us (along with a nice little note directly from the store saying that their other gift was being shipped to them directly). they wrapped this in a little box for us and so we brought both of these gifts with us to the wedding, bc I didnt want to show up empty handed…im assuming a lot of your guests will probably feel the same way and will bring your gifts to the wedding!
@Miss Swan: Me too. I usually bring my gift but a few friends lately said 80% of their gifts came before the wedding.
Besides shower gifts (I’ve had 2 showers already! and one more in a week!) - we’ve only received 2 wedding gifts… and our invitations haven’t gone out yet. I don’t think it’s weird - most people wait until the week of the wedding and if you have local guests, they’ll most likely bring it to the venue.
This is so interesting! We are 2.5 months away and have received presents from four couples — each of whom bought several things of our registries. I was so surprised! We haven’t even sent the invitations out! I usually send gifts the month before the wedding, but this seems really early.
I haven’t received any gifts yet other than shower gifts, and we’re less than two months out… I don’t think that’s weird at all! If I’m getting someone a gift and mailing it, I don’t usually do it until closer to the wedding date, but maybe that’s just me?
I usually send a gift close to the wedding. If I’m not giving cash I ship it because I know the last thing I want to have to deal with is juggling 100 plus boxes after the ceremony and finding a way to get them to my hotel room. But I think it is early. We are a little less than two months out and I’ve only received gifts shipped to my house from people who couldn’t make my shower
we’re just over 30 days out and haven’t received any wedding gifts to our house yet. we got shower and engagement gifts but nothing for the wedding yet and we do have a website and everything where people can get the info. i didn’t think anything of it before i read this post… i just assume most people will wait until closer to the wedding, no big deal.
I think its normal. Although I am little jealous of brides who get gifts early. How nice would it be to have most of the thank you cards done before the wedding?! Our wedding is in late August. Its 8 hours away from us and 60% of our guests. (Huge spread out families). We have a website and have only received one gift. I agree with everyone else though, I don’t like to show up to a wedding empty handed.
Most everyone is traveling for the wedding or not coming and we have yet to recieve a wedding gift. I guess I don’t really find it weird in your case since most are in town.
Almost all of our guests brought gifts to the actual reception. A few people dropped things off a few days beforehand and guests who were not attending send cards with $$ when they RSVPd no.
I don’t think it’s weird. Like you said, odds are you might be getting more cash than gifts. I’ve seen couples get gifts six+ months before a wedding, which I think is a tad weird, but that’s just me. I’d never send a gift so early. We usually send gifts the month of the wedding.
hmm, we got about 10-15 before the wedding, and maybe 5-6 afterwards? (so far)
I thought that was a pretty good amount. We had about 50 people RSVP “No” (so we expected about 20-25 gifts in the mail)
We received a lot of ours before the wedding, actually! Well…now that I think about it, they were mainly from guests who weren’t able to make it to the wedding!
Not sure on this one because I have only gotten 2 gifts and the wedding is 15 days away. I think that most people will bring it to the wedding but we are not caring because we are not in this for the gifts 
We got 90% of our presents before the wedding. We live in NYC and got married in Alabama, and most of the guests were from out of town. I know I try to send presents ahead if I possibly can!
Doesn’t sound weird to me… We are about a month and a half away from our wedding, and we just recieved our first gift (card with money) yesterday.
Just a quick etiquette note: Presents should not be brought to the wedding or reception. It is totally not rude to attend a wedding without bringing your gift along–basic social protocol (and every etiquette writer I’ve ever read) requires it! (The reason is that it can be very onerous for the bride and groom (or their families) to keep track of and transport gifts back to their home.) If you want to hand-deliver, ask the bride and groom if you can stop by before or after the wedding day, or invite them over to your house.
We’re under a month now and we haven’t had gifts come in a while. We obviously had a spike for my shower and then a smaller spike when people received their invites, but the registry has been very calm lately :P. I’m a little bit nervous only because we are having our wedding in our hometown, NOT where we currently live and I’m nervous that people will still bring their big gifts to the wedding anyway, even though they know we don’t live there and would have difficulty transporting any large amount of gifts back. I’m planning on having 2 large suitcases to cram any actual gifts the guests may bring in person but I highly doubt I can squeeze a stand mixer in there :P. I’m just hoping people are waiting til the last moment to get us gifts and will still be mindful about the need to ship!
ever thought that maybe not too may people are giving you gifts? I thought out of town guest (since 75-80 % are in seattle and probably flying down to SD) aren’t suppose to give gifts.
I think this varies incredibly depending on geography etc.
@Raindrops: I’ve never heard of that. We’ve always given gifts to weddings we’ve attended in town but maybe that’s just us. Has anyone else heard of not giving gifts if you are attending an in town wedding?
I always give a gift, whether I’m in town or out of town. Although, I did ship one ahead of time once when I was flying because I didn’t want the gift to be my carryon.
we’re only 2 1/2 weeks away (!) and we’ve received probably a dozen gifts. but what was unexpected for me was that at the beginning of our engagement, we got engagement gifts from everyone too! (is that a NJ thing? i’m from CA, but my fiance’s whole family’s from NJ)
We are less than two months out (yikes) and have received a grand total of one gift, despite my daily registry stalking (and my promise to myself to stop stalking it).
However, after reading this I decided to change the delivery address on our registries to my parents’ house where our reception will be held. We’re moving just before the wedding and as much as I love packages I guess I don’t need to add to the stress of moving by having more stuff to pack.
I think it does depend on your locality. In upstate New York, it is customary to buy gifts for showers and engagement parties and give money for the actual wedding (via a card brought to the reception). On the plus side, it may mean that you’re getting money instead of gifts (not that there’s anything wrong with gifts, but flexibility is nice).
I always ship gifts, even if it’s an intown wedding. I’m weird, but I HATE to cart the gift there and have to find a place to put it, etc.
We got gifts about a month before and for months after we eloped.
We’re about 14 days out and have received 2… hmmm… I would assume since most of our guests live on the opposite coast that our gifts would be shipped but it’s getting really close… oh well
We got many of our registry gifts at the shower. Then we got a couple in the mail, but only from people who couldn’t make it to the wedding. About a fourth brought gifts to the wedding, and everyone else gave us money.
Oh, we didn’t have a wedding website either, and nobody missed it.
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Mrs. Joey, Seattle
Age and Occupation: 28, Project Administrator for Public Health NGO
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, High School History Teacher
Engagement Date: June 24, 2008
Wedding Date: August 2009
Venue: Eastside Catholic Chapel and Lake Union Cafe
About Me: I'm a Seattle girl through and through except for the fact that I don't drink coffee. I love my job most of the time because I get to travel and work with brilliant people who are trying to prevent Malaria. I love DIY projects of all sorts, cooking, and watching sports. I'd wear anything at Anthropologie and could spend all day on Etsy. I love to travel but shouldn't because I always get myself into unbelievable situations!
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