Wedding Anxiety

I have been wanting to write a post about wedding anxiety for a while now, but as I was going through it, I couldn’t find the words to describe it. Now that I am a newlywed, my thoughts seem to be flowing much more easily. So here goes…

Keeping busy with wedding tasks helped distract me from the fact that I was scared sh*tless of my wedding day. Not about the marriage and “happily ever after” part (because I knew I wanted to marry Mr. G), but the actual wedding part. Being the center of attention is never my style, and having 250 people staring at me was a daunting thought. I put on a calm face to the outside world, but inside, I was a panicking, nervous wreck. Ahhh, it feels so good to finally admit that.

I’m not usually a very nervous or high strung person. I swear, I’m not. However, planning for months on end for one big day is a lot of pressure. My mind was constantly racing. I second guessed many decisions I made. I obsessed over outlandish things like if I would faint or vomit while walking down the aisle. My stomach hurt constantly. One evening, I wondered if I was giving myself an ulcer. Then I Googled “stomach ulcers” and spent the rest of the night worrying that my worrying was giving me an ulcer. I guess you could say I had issues.

Two weeks before the wedding, I couldn’t sleep most nights. I would wake up with my heart racing.

I wasn’t eating normally. Food was not appetizing (which really depressed me!). I tried to relax my body, but my mind would not stop going! I had given the wedding so much power. Now when I look back on it, I gave it way too much power. I don’t know how I could have remedied the situation or calmed myself down. However, I do know that this was a process I was supposed to be enjoying. Instead, I was making myself miserable.

The day of the wedding I woke up and was still stressed out. However, slowly but surely, everything came together (just like everyone said it would). I found that people are so kind and accommodating toward you on your wedding day. Being the center of attention isn’t a negative thing, because everyone is looking at you with happiness and love. I never felt judged or awkward (like I imagined I would). The wedding wasn’t perfect. A number of details fell through. But, all of the special moments melted into one fabulous day that I will remember always. I was finally free to relax and enjoy myself.

I let my wedding anxiety get the best of me at times. But rather than look back on it regretfully, I am trying to let it go and allow myself to settle back into my pre-wedding life. Except now I am officially a “wife”… and newlywed bliss feels so good!

Did you suffer or are you suffering from wedding anxiety? How did you cope with it? Or how are you coping with it?

BLOGGER

Mrs. Glitter

Location:
Los Angeles
Wedding Date:
June, 2009
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  1. Guest
    Raachel, Guest @ 10:25 am

    I’m so glad that I am not the only one waking up at 4 am every day! My wedding is in two weeks – and I’m terrified that people are going to be able to spot the bags under my eyes from the parking lot!

  2. Guest
    Eliz, Guest @ 8:42 am

    Holy sh*t guys, thanks for posting this. It makes me feel better than we’re in this together to some extent and not alone in our strangeness. I especially connected with the ladies who mentioned a nervousness about unveiling the wedding–it’s a project you’ve invested so much time in…I suppose it’s natural to be nervous about that.

    I’m two days out from my wedding and feel like I’m losing my mind. I’m alternately self-conscious, anxious, and excited. More the first two, really. I’m also breaking out like a teenager which doesn’t help matters.

    I wanted to add personal touches to the wedding (we’re having people bring pies & recipes, I made paper flowers, our program is written on chalkboards, there’s a scavenger hunt between the ceremony & reception) but now I feel like some DIY site just exploded all over the wedding and that I’ve ruined it by trying too hard. The Onion, clever paper that is is, even posted a video titled “Horrible Couple Really Wants Wedding to Reflect their Personalities” which was both funny and disturbing. Are modern weddings injected with personal touches really so despicable? I can’t help but feel like somewhere along the way I drank the wedding kool-aid and my original plan for a small, casual wedding morphed into a 140 person, DIY mutant. Sigh.

    I guess I’ll know within two days whether or not this is going to work out. One thing’s for certain–time passes. The day will arrive and then be gone. I’m sure at some point I’ll get into this but as of right now I’m wishing we would have eloped and treated close families and friends to dinner.

    Good luck, ladies, with everything!!

  3. Guest
    Nate, Guest @ 2:46 pm

    I am really glad to have found this post. Wedding is in two weeks and I’ve been sleeping horribly, stress eating, and a bundle of nerves. Everyone does keep telling me things will fall into place, and, deep down, I know things will work out…but that doesn’t help in the here and now. What does help is knowing that this is, for the most part, a typical pre-wedding experience.

    @Eliz – I hear ya on the eloping bit! There’s a pile of DIY supplies in the guest room right now…ahh, complication/awesomeness!

  4. Guest
    Scarycat, Guest @ 6:50 pm

    I am sacred about my wedding which is a month away,having weird thoughts want to pull the whole thing off coz I am scraed

  5. Member
    JaniceP72 50 posts, Worker bee @ 2:40 pm

    @Scarycat – Let me tell you the fear I had two months after I got engaged; I worked myself into a bundle of nerves and thought I’d never make it down the aisle but I did = )

    Looking back I truly feel most of my anxiety was because of planning, static in my ear from others’ and how THEY hoped I would do things, and not getting everything done in time but as the weeks flew by and it got closer to our big day, I was calm…really calm possibly due to exhaustion ahahaha.

    The morning of I woke at 630, finished my place cards, ran to Staples, did a load of laundry, got my hair done at 10 and was cool as a cucumber. Even after I put my dress on…nerves of steel! We lined up, my girls started walking and I was still good. It wasn’t until my music started that I thought my heart would pound out of my chest. I took a few deep breaths and started walking, a little shaky, as blotchy red marks appeared on my chest, a few tears fell but once I focused on my FH the world stopped. When I reached him his eyes filled with tears and he told me how beautiful I looked…

    Take it from the Queen of Anxiety, these are the moments that will stick out and you’ll remember for a lifetime. No one can tell you how or what you’ll feel but if he is worth having you’ll take the short walk into your beautiful future. I was afraid I’d be petrified with fear and the words wouldn’t come from my mouth but they did. I held his hands and looked into his eyes and knew we were exactly where God had intended us to be.

    Hang in there and enjoy the ride because all the planning and sleepless nights are over in the blink of an eye. Feel free to PM me anytime and CONGRATULATIONS!

  6. Guest
    sashapierce, Guest @ 4:38 am

    im so glad this comment is on here, i was just casually surfing wedding nerves and this popped up, very ideal as im getting married in 11 days!! thats right the 12/12/2012…
    i have been planning this day for years and up until 6 months ago it didnt real real, but slowly as the day has creaped up on me im getting more and more nervous.
    if people ask me how my nerves are, i say “im fine” ” nerves what nerves?” its all a big fat cover up for a shivvering gut churning wreck under this skin of mine…

    im so nervous, my dress is to big where iv lost so much weight so i am having to eat more to gain weight but eating when u feel sick with nerves is impossible and i worry i dont wana get to big an look like a beach whale when iv tried so hard to shift the unwanted weight…..

    its been dilemma after dilemma ……

    whats the day going to be like if the past month has been this bad???

    dreading it when i should be excited :(

  7. Guest
    Keira Cox, Guest @ 4:10 pm

    Hi girls :) I am also so happy to have stumbled across this. I have been suffering with anxiety for the past year and it’s truely horrible. I have so many symptoms from panick attacks whilst asleep!! So i wake up to shaking in my sleep, an upset tummy and a racing heart. I am so looking forward to being married but this has totally thrown me. I am also never an anxious person but I am now!! I find the anxiety has made me worry about things I would never worry about i.e flying???? this has never bothered me before but suddenly I don’t want to fly.
    I find that when talking to friends they instantly jump on the negative and assume its issues you have with future happy. I know this isn’t the case. I go through phases sometimes where i’m convinced I cant breathe and totally freak myself out. Has anyone else had it this severe? I have been to the doctors because I was sure there was something else wrong with me. Just wondered if anyone else has had these sort of effects from their anxiety? and any tips????

    Nice to know we’re not along… 8 weeks and counting!! XXX

  8. Guest
    Nikki, Guest @ 4:31 pm

    This doesnt directly link but I guess does a little. I am a perfectionist and I had everything to the last bit planned. I even decorated the bathrooms and had an emergency pack for the guests. But on the day, stuff went wrong. Everyone said the day was perfect and the best wedding they have ever been too. Its just I know stuff went wrong, I dont think anyone but me would have noticed but its eating away at me. I hate that it wasnt perfect. I know that nothing was ever going to be perfect but I didnt expect that many things to go wrong. I tried talking to my husband but when I do he seems upset because he thinks I didnt love iur wedding. I did. I just cant shake all the things that went wrong. How to I get out of this funk? I am trying really hard but I get these sudden moments of sadness. I dont want to focus on the wrong things I want and need to get over it. Honestly overall it was perfect but like I said I am a perfectionist which has been a problem

  9. Guest
    Jae, Guest @ 1:13 pm

    My wedding is in 5 days and every time I think of it I feel like I could throw up. Thankfully its just our families coming to the wedding, not even all of them. I tried to keep it as small as possible with 50 people.
    I too am obsessing about fainting or throwing up down the aisle. I need to stop that!
    We are having a beach wedding and if it rains we will move inside. I don’t want it inside but if it happens it happens and I can deal with that. But what I cant deal with is people constantly telling me that it might rain or what ifs!
    My mom is constantly texting me questions about the wedding. I find myself finally relaxing then BAM she texts me and I get nervous all over again.
    Ive been with my man for 13 years! yes 13. I am 28 years old and he truly is my best friend. I wasn’t in a rush to get married, clearly. Im not nervous about marrying him. I just hate being center of attention, I should have had a private ceremony and a nice reception! bahhhh I cant change it now lol.
    Im glad im not the only one feeling like this.
    *sigh*

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