Wedding Anxiety

I have been wanting to write a post about wedding anxiety for a while now, but as I was going through it, I couldn’t find the words to describe it. Now that I am a newlywed, my thoughts seem to be flowing much more easily. So here goes…

Keeping busy with wedding tasks helped distract me from the fact that I was scared sh*tless of my wedding day. Not about the marriage and “happily ever after” part (because I knew I wanted to marry Mr. G), but the actual wedding part. Being the center of attention is never my style, and having 250 people staring at me was a daunting thought. I put on a calm face to the outside world, but inside, I was a panicking, nervous wreck. Ahhh, it feels so good to finally admit that.

I’m not usually a very nervous or high strung person. I swear, I’m not. However, planning for months on end for one big day is a lot of pressure. My mind was constantly racing. I second guessed many decisions I made. I obsessed over outlandish things like if I would faint or vomit while walking down the aisle. My stomach hurt constantly. One evening, I wondered if I was giving myself an ulcer. Then I Googled “stomach ulcers” and spent the rest of the night worrying that my worrying was giving me an ulcer. I guess you could say I had issues.

Two weeks before the wedding, I couldn’t sleep most nights. I would wake up with my heart racing.

I wasn’t eating normally. Food was not appetizing (which really depressed me!). I tried to relax my body, but my mind would not stop going! I had given the wedding so much power. Now when I look back on it, I gave it way too much power. I don’t know how I could have remedied the situation or calmed myself down. However, I do know that this was a process I was supposed to be enjoying. Instead, I was making myself miserable.

The day of the wedding I woke up and was still stressed out. However, slowly but surely, everything came together (just like everyone said it would). I found that people are so kind and accommodating toward you on your wedding day. Being the center of attention isn’t a negative thing, because everyone is looking at you with happiness and love. I never felt judged or awkward (like I imagined I would). The wedding wasn’t perfect. A number of details fell through. But, all of the special moments melted into one fabulous day that I will remember always. I was finally free to relax and enjoy myself.

I let my wedding anxiety get the best of me at times. But rather than look back on it regretfully, I am trying to let it go and allow myself to settle back into my pre-wedding life. Except now I am officially a “wife”… and newlywed bliss feels so good!

Did you suffer or are you suffering from wedding anxiety? How did you cope with it? Or how are you coping with it?

BLOGGER

Mrs. Glitter

Location:
Los Angeles
Wedding Date:
June 2015
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  1. Guest Icon Guest
    Nick Chatt, Guest @ 8:24 am

    Really interesting reading the initial post and the other comments. I was wondering is there anyone on here still that can give me some advice.

    I am getting married on Saturday coming (17th May) its not the conventional wedding i am gay and i am having the newly legalized same sex marriage not a civil partnership.

    I have always suffered with anxiety several years ago i was diagnosed with Manic Anxiety Disorder (bi polar)
    I have been ok’ish things enter my head and i over analyze to myself and gradually i deal with them however this weed is just turning in to hell.
    Luckily my mother and farther in law to be have been the organizers and the ones with the credit card which is amazing. However from what i would have organized (small wedding with close friends and immediate family) has now turned in to a massive wedding. My anxiety levels and stress levels are through the roof. I’m doubting everything worrying that life may change worrying that i’m not going to enjoy the day when up until this week i’ve been ok.

    I’m looking forward to post-wedding when i can have normal conversations with people. Everyone is so nice and excited but everyone only ever wants to talk about the wedding the one question you can guarantee will be asked “only a few more days how are the wedding plans going?” We have a lot of friends imagine how many times a day i get asked this and that itself is driving me crazy lol. It’s like when you are pregnant and have a baby everyone asks hows the baby and forget about you lol!

    I should be getting excited but instead im getting more anxious can anyone help!?!?

  2. Guest Icon Guest
    Jae, Guest @ 12:14 pm

    Hey Nick. Boy do i know how you feel lol. I struggle with anxiety and on my wedding day thankfully I was pretty calm. I think because I knew it was happening and I could either enjoy it or be dying inside. The day after the wedding was by far my favorite, we hung out with some friends NO PRESSURE! But looking back now I wish I was more “there” during my wedding. All happened so fast. Just be sure to try to enjoy yourself ( I know its easier said then done ) Best of luck and Congrats! You will do awesome :)

  3. Guest Icon Guest
    Erin, Guest @ 5:41 pm

    My wedding anxiety is so severe that I don’t even want to have a wedding! There is so much pressure to make this one day PERFECT. As always, when something is stressful, I avoid it. Hence my perpetual habit of procrastination. But, I really cannot push off the planning this time….grrrr
    Months of planning and decision making, magazines, wedding shows, emails, the questions, thousands if dollars, so many choices, the dueling voices–“It’s the biggest day of your life, make it how you want it!. Carpe diem!” vs. “It’s ONE day that flies by, why spend so much energy and $$$? Keep it simple and reasonably priced.”
    Then, after it is all over, comes the dreaded withdraw. It’s done after endless hours of obsessing over this one day. Cold turkey.
    And I am so jealous of all those women who are enjoying the entire process….and that’s really all I want to do. Revel in the excitement. Be present in this joyous celebration.

    Any words of advice? Would really love some.

  4. Guest Icon Guest
    AiRm, Guest @ 1:34 pm

    Jae, Guest – I’m pretty sure you and I are in the exact same boat. I’ve been with my fiancé and I have been together 12 years and I too am having a small (40 person) beach wedding and hate/loathe being the center of attention and planning things is majorly stress inducing for me. I am so happy to marry my FH but I feel this added pressure of 12 years + the rest of my life is making me obsess about every detail. Not to mention the fact that I have always wanted to elope but my FH big ethnic family would never be o.k. with that so I’m planning a wedding that my heart isn’t really in to appease my FH and family. We are paying for it ourselves and watching our savings be gradually evaporated down to beans isn’t helping either. On top of being extremely anxious about it all, my mom isn’t supportive and I feel really alone with my fiancé in all this. Luckily our relationship is better than ever despite all this horrible wedding planning stuff. Wedding planning is not the experience I had hoped for at all, I thought my friends and family would really rally and they just haven’t yet. I know its completely self induced but I’m fairly certain I am going to have an ulcer at the end of all of this and I’m still 3 months out.

  5. Guest Icon Guest
    Jae, Guest @ 1:44 pm

    AiRm – The best advice I can give is just try to relax. I know its so hard to do. But looking back now I am glad its over sure but if i could just have enjoyed it a bit more I would. Sometimes we just have to let go of people who aren’t supportive. My dad walked me down the aisle but it was not special to me, he acted as if he didnt care i was getting married. I did my best to just let it go. My sister recently got engaged and for some reason i am so excited to help her plan but with mine i didnt like it lol.
    When ever you start to feel that gross stressed out kill me now feeling take a few deep breaths and think of the man you are marrying. In the end all that matters is that you and your husband are happy. My biggest fear was it would rain, and woke up to a sunny calm day, the hour before my wedding it started to storm, then wind and rain. ( so my beach wedding turned into an indoor wedding ) Then no kidding 5 min after taking our photos inside the sun came out. I swear it was a test of some sorts.
    I still suffer badly with anxiety and sometimes i dont believe i even did get married lol. If i can do it, you can do it :) Best of luck!

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