Wedding Blog

When Mr. Joey and I were talking about the ceremony way back when, I asked him if he was interested in incorporating a few Filipino traditions into the regular Catholic ceremony. He was game for it and was excited to spice things up a little. We checked with our priest and he said as long as they were cultural, a few added elements to the ceremony were OK.

I don’t know if any of you have been to a Filipino wedding, but they have a lot going on. They are usually full masses, include multiple sets of marital godparents, a veil and cord ceremony, a candle ceremony, and a few other elements. I won’t go into detail but if you are interested, I found a blog that does a good job of summarizing the traditions.

We’re not doing the veil and cord ceremony, and while we did “select” godparents, we’re not having them do all the things typical godparents do. They are going to serve as our witnesses. The traditions we did decide to incorporate into our ceremony are the Unity Candle and the Arrhae.

The Unity Candle has may different meanings, but the one of the more common ones is the uniting of two families. We really like this. We get along great with our families and they seem to get along well, too. We like the idea of our families formally coming together. Usually 2 godparents (one from each family) each lights a taper candle and the bride and groom each take a lit candle and together light a larger candle - the unity candle. Instead of sponsors, we’re changing it up and asking our moms to light the taper candles. We think it’s a nice way to include them in the ceremony.

The other tradition we’re adding is the Arrhae.

The Arras (13 coins) date back to the ancient Roman custom of breaking gold or silver into equal halves by both parties as a pledge of marriage. Traditionally, the groom giving the Arras to his bride symbolizes him placing all his material wealth into her care. Acceptance by the bride means taking that trust unconditionally with total dedication.

Nowadays, the Arrhae has come to represent more than just the groom telling the bride he’ll take care of her financially. It affirms the vows of an enduring marriage and blesses the couple with an abundance of joy, health, wealth and happiness.

My mom says traditionally, the FMIL gives her son 13 coins in a decorative box or bag and he presents them to his bride during the ceremony. We decided to change that a little and have asked each Dad to present both of us a bag or box of 13 coins to exchange. We’re equal in this marriage and we thought we should be equal in this tradition.

In the Philippines you can buy special coins with 13 marriage virtues (love, harmony, cooperation, commitment, peace, happiness, trust, respect, caring, wisdom, joy, wholeness and nurturing) engraved on them. We told our parents to just gather up 13 coins of any denomination and/or from any country.

We’re really excited about our two “traditions”. We think they make the ceremony a little more us.

Are you incorporating any cultural traditions into your ceremonies? Are you making them your own in any way?