Wedding Blog
I am not channeling the artist sorta known as Prince, but this one little punctuation mark—the hyphen—is playing a little bit of a role in my name change situation. There have been a variety of posts on name changing from bees both current and past, so I know that this is not a new topic here on Weddingbee land. There have been many creative takes on the name change debate—from keeping your name; to taking your fiance’s name; to making your maiden name your middle name. I like to do things my own way and often that results in some difficulty. You see, I’ve decided to hyphenate my last name.
Yeah, I know that this shouldn’t be such a big deal, but I have a bit of wrinkle in all of this name change business: My first name is already HYPHENATED!!! That’s right. Here’s what my name is now:
First Name-First Name Middle Name Last Name.
I can’t believe I want to hyphenate my LAST name! I just can’t get enough of super long names!
After researching this a bit, I’ve learned that while I can change my last name quite easily, my first name is another whole topic. I was able to choose a new surname on our marriage license application. I find it interesting that Mr. Swan was not given the option to change his on the form, but I digress…
To change my first name, I would be required to go through a judicial proceeding.
While it seems ministerial at best, I just don’t think I want to invest the time and energy into this kind of endeavor (for lack of a better word), as name changing already seems like a barrel of fun as it is. Apparently, as long as I use my name consistently without intent to fraud, I should be good to go (luckily, three years of law school and a lot debt allows me to know what this means). Thank you, New York State Domestic Relations Law, for giving me a break!
As of right now, LEGALLY my post-marriage name will be:
First Name-First Name Middle Name Last Name-Last Name (Are you still following me?).
BUT, I will probably go through work and my daily life as:
First Name Last Name-Last Name
Don’t ask me how this is all going to work, as I will be making this up as I go along. 
I very rarely hear women mention that they will hyphenate their names. It’s probably too much of a hassle, huh? My few married friends have all chosen to keep their last names, with the exception of one. As with everything in life, I want to have my cake and eat it too… my way. As much as it’s going to be a pain, I want to give honor to both families that I will belong to.
The moral of the story: If you’re thinking about hyphenating your child’s first name in the future, DON’T DO IT!! 
Do any of you have any special name change challenges?
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Your post was too funny to me because my parents (being the hippies that they were back when I was born) hyphenated my last name and it is seriously the bane of my existence! I cannot WAIT until I can get rid of the hyphen and take my FH’s last name…All I can say is good luck and when making any sort of airline reservation, only use one name or the other or you will be stuck having the ticket counter woman search forever on the computer to find your ticket!
I legally changed my last name four years ago to my mom’s maiden name - completely worth the year of hassle and expense, but A COMPLETE PAIN IN THE ASS.
Because of that, and other reasons, I don’t want to take my fiance’s last name (I’ve only had four years of my current last name! I want my money’s worth!), and my fiance doesn’t want to take mine.
We decided we are going to each drop our current middle names (which we’re not attached to at all), and take each other’s last names as our ONLY middle names.
I do wish we could have the same last name, though.
Is Mr.Swan hyphenating his as well? We have been sweating this name change issue for MONTHS in D’orsay household. le sigh. Congrats on making a decision!
While my first name isn’t hyphenated, we’ve been having major talks about the whole name change thing. We both have a natural affinity to our last names - they are our identities… and we’re the last of our lines (though technically I have a brother who will likely have kids in the future).
Anyway, we’re thinking of hyphenating both of our names, but that would make it super long … and I bet our kids wouldn’t like it too much!
I have a hyphenated first name too! Which makes my name SO LOOOONNNGGG… Seriously, I’m surprised it all fits on my debit card… my last name runs well into the Visa logo! I haven’t even considered what I’m changing my name to! My new last name is longer than my maiden name!
I want to hyphenate my last name too! But I’m still not 100% sure of what I would like to do. I have 3 more months to decide!
Wow! Now I have never read about your choice before—and I like it! It’s completely different, as you say, and it’s YOU. Now it makes me want to know what your fun first name is!!
no mary-kate?
ha!
name changes are a long and painful process, but thank goodness there is an end to it all!
Here in Brazil names are kind of long. At least First Name Mother’s Family Name Father’s Family Name. I have the First Name and a Second Name also, but still wanted to have my fiance’s surname. So after September I’ll have 2 names and 3 surnames (because I didn’t want to hurt my mother’s feelings).
In Switzerland, where we live, everyone unofficially has a hyphenated last name. Assuming the woman (Burkhard) takes the man’s name (Meier) after marriage, her official last name is now Meier but she can write Meier-Burkhard on everything, including her passport. The man is technically Meier-Burkhard too but of course men just state their one last name and never write the hyphenated name… the hyphenated name also often goes on mailboxes, letters, etc…
don’t be afraid of the hyphen!
Oh gosh, I am so in the same boat (and now worried)! My parents intended to give me a double first name, FirstName1 FirstName2, but on the birth certificate it became FirstName1 MIDDLEName LastName. In every day use, I smoosh it together to become FirstName1FirstName2 (Think MaryAnn vs. Mary Ann), but it’s become a problem since various government agencies refuse to accept that FirstName2 is not actually my middle name. My intention has been to make the smoosh legal when I change my name after the wedding (FirstName1FirstName2 MaidenName MarriedName), but now I’m worried I can’t change my first name then after all! Is that a state-by-state issue or do I need to find a lawyer after all?
I can’t even believe how often I hear that some states don’t have a spot for men to change their name on those forms! Crazy. Lucky for us Minnesota has space for both people to change their names to whatever combo they each want.
I had been thinking of hyphenating, but I might have finally nixed it. It sounds like we’ll both be taking my maiden name as a middle and using his last name.
Congrats on reaching a verdict on the name change issue! Here’s my big challenge: FMIL has the same first name as me and goes by the same nickname! I never thought I’d have a desire to hyphenate but I don’t know know how I feel about having the same first AND last name as someone in the family! What to do…what to do…
Yikes that’s a lot of names! Good for you for knowing what you want and being decisive. In California the groom is also given the option of changing his middle or last name on the marriage license.
I’m having a dilemma with this as well, Miss Swan. I never wanted to take my fiance’s last name, but it is very important to him. I also want to have the same last name as my future children. So I am doing First Name Maiden Name FI’s Last Name, similar to Hillary Rodham Clinton. At work I will be my maiden name, but for social situations Mrs. FI’s last name.
I am a huge fan of people who do things that reflect who they are and make them happy. Good luck, miss swan! I’m sure you will be happy that you made the decision to hyphenate!
We’re still trying to figure out what to do with our last names. I would hyphenate, but it wouldn’t come out to be a flattering combo!
I have a hyphenated last name, and I hate hate hate it. I cannot wait to take his last name (which is the exact same amount of letters, minus the hyphen). So I can completely understand why you would want your first name changed.
Honestly, my last name is Cxxx-Rxxx and I only ever use Cxxx. I just cannot be bothered. So keep that in mind as well.
@runrgurl10 and @365: I hear you guys! I also have a hyphenated last name thanks to my awesome hippie parents, and I HATE it. I am literally counting down the days until I get married and can change my last name. Miss Swan, it sounds like you know what you’re doing, since you already have a hyphenated first name, and clearly this is the option that you want. I was given no such choice, since my parents gave me my hyphenated name at birth.
Just a side note, my sisters first name in hyphenated and she absolutely loves it. I plan on doing the same thing for my firstborn daughter.
I have 2 middle names and am hyphenating my last name as well. I dont want to loose my unique last name for an average every day American one!
Haha, I know it’s not that funny to you, but I was laughing all the way through this! I hope everything works out for you and I don’t think dropping the hyphened first name will take too long to catch on. I knew a girl in school whose name was Casey and one day she just decided to start writing it as Kaci because she liked it better. Now, over 10 years later, it’s on all her government/school documents and she never once went to have it legally changed!
I feel your pain! I legally have four names, but I am known by my first middle name and my last name. I have considered dropping my first name, but know it’s such a difficult process.
I’m with a href=”#comment-728635″>Miss Star, if I would have hyphenated my new last name would imply that I bend rocks.
Your name sounds about as long as mine would be if I hyphenated!
Interesting side story - A good friend of mine is thisclose to getting engaged to a guy w/ a hyphenated last name… I asked her if she was going to take both new last names or just one? We joked that she should hyphenate her new last name w/ her maiden name Moral of that story is don’t hyphenate your children’s last names.
I’m actually doing a hyphenated last name but without the hyphen! Talk about making things confusing for people. So… we decided to make that part of how our officiant presents us at the end of the ceremony (something you may want to consider). So, the last line will be “It is my pleasure to be the first to introduce you to Groom First & Last name and Bride First Name Maiden Name New Last name, as husband and wife.”
Wow, Miss Swan! That is a LONG name! I considered hyphenating for a short time but you know how some last names flow and others just don’t? Mine just don’t. Either way. Maiden Name-Married name = BAD. Married name-Maiden Name=BAD. 
It’s a good way to have the best of both worlds! Go hyphen!
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Mrs. Swan, New York City
Age and Occupation: 31, Legislative Representative
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Finance Guy
Engagement Date: August 9, 2008
Wedding Date: August 2009
Venue: Battery Gardens
About Me: I am an un-crafty but resourceful, Caribbean-born but New York-raised woman who's been known to analyze "Dancing with the Stars" and “So You Think You Can Dance”, buy stinky cheese, and use way too many parentheses. I keep lists for fun, am constantly daydreaming of my next international travel adventure (four continents down, three to go), debating sports (let’s Got Mets/Giants!) and dancing around my apartment to stay sane. I am excited to share our wedding planning journey as I hope to plan a streamlined, personal, and fun wedding with the greatest life partner I could ever imagine, Mr. Swan.
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