Wedding Blog
One my bestest friends ever sent me an email today asking for advice. I figured, who better to ask than a bunch of ladies (and a guy or two) who think about weddings all day long? Logical, don’t you think? So here is the scenario:
One of my friends up here is trying to write a speech for her friend from high school who she really isn’t that great of friends with anymore, but still got asked to be the maid of honor. She wants to say something along the lines of how this couple has been together for 7 years and it is fantastic to see them taking the next step. But she doesn’t want it to sound like she thinks it was about time that hte ytook this step. Any suggestions?
Hmm, it seems like a little bit of an awkward position if they aren’t really close friends anymore. I am struggling for advice to give her.
I know how difficult it can be to write a maid of honor speech, so I really want to help her out!
So, all of you lovely brides (and grooms!), do you have any suggestions for this friend of a friend trying to write her MOH speech? Has anyone been in the same situation? Help a sister out (literally, she is my sorority sister)!
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Hmmm, I’ll have to think about this one. I can totally see where your friend is coming from, though, because I really don’t want any of those “it’s about time” jokes or comments at OUR wedding either!
I have a friend who was in a similar situation. I basically told her to write about the moments she’s shared with the bride, and then transition into how happy she is to share the most important moment of all with the bride - the moment where she gets to marry her best friend. Hope this helps!
Mr Frenchie was the Best Man at wedding for a couple that had been together for 8 yrs. Knowing how much they got roasted for it at the last wedding the newlyweds attended before becoming engaged he steered clear of mentioning the long relationship altogether. While she may be able to word it in such a way that she won’t offend them, I would hate for her mentioning it to spark comments from other ppl 
Why not just not have a maid of honor speech? They aren’t required. Only the Best Man has to give a speech. My MOH isn’t giving one at my wedding because she told me she didn’t want to - she doesn’t like speaking.
Why doesn’t your friend just tell the bride that she is uncomfortable giving a speech? Perhaps one of the other bridesmaids can do it if the bride really needs another toast in addition to the best man’s.
I’d try to avoid that topic if I were her. I like PowderPuffs idea — talk about the time when she was younger - maybe mention the dream “guy” they talked about - and say how he fits the mold perfectly and she’s never seen her happier. I think that any reference to the length of time could be seen as a slight to the couple. Just my opinion though!
It will be eight years that my fiance and I have been together when we get married in just 100 days… oh my god.
And yes, before we got engaged there was a lot of it’s about time- but you know what?
I wouldn’t have it any other way.
After 7 years, you REALLY know someone. My mom likes to say him and I are like a “Lava lamp” you know we just ebb and flow together perfectly.
I think she should speak to their history. How yes its been 7 years, but all joking aside they have been through thick and thin. There’s a lot to be said for that, when there is no ring on your finger.
I think it would be appropriate for her to give a little backstory on how she knows the bride, maybe a story or two from their high school days. Then to express her happiness that her friend is getting married to this person that she loves so much, etc. She should keep it short and sweet!
I agree with Miss Hummus. My finance and I were together for over five years before he proposed. Maybe she could say something like,
I respect the time that the bride and groom spent together to get to know one another. By doing this, they not only built a strong relationship around romance and courtship, but more importantly a friendship. In the future, they will rely on the foundation they created in order to have a healthy and happy marriage.
Or something like that.
I agree with Miss Mouse - especially if they aren’t close anymore, stick to the good ‘ol days. (If she was asked the be MOH then there is a good chance the bride feels different about their relationship.) A nice story about them, a thought or two about the couples time together, and a nice well wishing a la “May the worst day of your future be better than the best day of your past.”
i would talk about how they’ve grown together as a couple. otherwise skip talking about relationship length altogether!
My fiance and I have been together for 9 years and I totally get the “its about time” idea, I expect to hear it and it doesn’t bother me at all! I think you could easily approach delicately it by saying how “happy you are that after 7 years, you and the families that sit around you today finally get a chance to celebrate a their love” it gets it in there but it isn’t negative.
I did this for a childhood friend…they didn’t have a traditional BP but she asked me to give a toast. I mostly talked about our childhood together drawing on memories that reflected who she was as a person. I’d only met the guy once before, so I just concluded by saying that I was so happy she’d found a partner to share her passion for life with and I’m honored to play a role as they take the next step together. They had also been together for like 8 years, but I don’t think it sounded harsh or anything.
There is no need to bring up the years at all. I think that these speeches are often meant for the rehearsal dinner - where the most intimate stories are shared (growing up together, playing wedding in the attic). If the bride has asked her to give a speech at the reception, she only needs to take a few moments to express her joy and how much she loves the couple. The personal stories would be much more appreciated by a smaller crowd or even an intimate bridal luncheon. She should keep this short and simple and should stick to the future (wishing them many years of love and happiness).
I’d either take the road of not mentioning it at all, or go the route of being rather vague, such as mentioning how ‘through the years they’ve seen each other… ‘ etc.
No one wants their wedding to turn into a “I told You So” Party! Kind of an awkward sitch… Maybe something along the lines of how they’ve loved and cared for each other for years but now their families and friends can feel content knowing they will always have someone to love and care for them. I agree with Gator about keeping it “short and simple and… stick to the future” — if they’re not close anymore it’s hard to have some great moving anecdote about the couple.
My guy was in the EXACT same position. Follow the simple formula to a crowd pleasing speach:
1) Compliment the couple and talk (even generically) about how great they are together.
2) make a joke or two at the bride’s expense. Something that will get a chuckle but not genuinely be embarassing. Ideally from a personal story.
3) Close with more compliments about what a great couple they are and how happy you are for both of them.
If you just say some nice things (even if they are generic) and throw in one funny story people will like it. It’s not a tough crowd.
And keep it short. 2 minutes or less.
I would just add the following advice in general about wedding toasts - brevity is a sign of genius!
I agree with Miss Mouse - a cute/funny story about their friendship, a mention of how lucky she is to have found her FH, and a toast to their continued happiness
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Mrs. Mascara, Chicago/Upper Michigan
Age and Occupation: 25, Biomedical Engineer
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Process Engineer
Engagement Date: July 27, 2008
Wedding Date: September 2009
Venue: Catholic ceremony, reception at local armory
About Me: A lover of Mr. Mascara, crafting, baking, Gossip Girl, diet soda, and all things wedding. A Yooper girl somehow displaced in the Chicago suburbs, planning a wedding from a distance, and counting down the days until I marry my best friend.
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