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Mrs. Beagle, Austin Age and Occupation: 26, Electrical Engineer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Finance Engagement Date: July 12, 2008 Wedding Date: October 2009 Venue: Church Ceremony/Reception at The Waterford House About Me: I am a true, but rare, Austinite---I was born, raised, and continue to live in this great city! Although I am an engineer by day, I feed my inner creative side through crafting, sewing, and obsessing over Martha Stewart. I love coffee, my mister, NPR, and exploring all the nooks and crannies of Austin. I can't wait to share my adventures in DIY and wedding planning with all of you!
About Mrs. Beagle

The Name Game

July 17th, 2009 @ 2:16 pm by Mrs. Beagle

I think before Mr. Beagle proposed, I always assumed that I would just take my future husband’s last name and, in the process, drop my last name. I hadn’t really thought of the seemingly endless possibilities of creating a new name or keeping my own, or even combining both of our last names.

Then, he proposed. And during one discussion soon afterward, he told me that he would be perfectly okay with, even be greatly supportive, if I decided to keep my last name. (Um, how did I find this guy… isn’t he great?)

The more I thought about it, the more I liked it. My father had two girls, and he’s the only son of my grandparents that had children of his own. I liked the idea of carrying on my name and representing my lineage. I’ve been known as Miss Beagle for almost 27 years now, and changing my name—essentially becoming someone new—started making less and less sense.

For the same reasons, I understand why people do change their names when they get married. A marriage is a new direction for two people, and from that point on, one union is formed. It’s romantic and symbolic to share a last name. It’d also be nice to have the same family name as your children.

On the other hand, I love Mr. Beagle’s last name and I really liked the idea of adding it to mine.

I didn’t want to drop my middle name, which was also my grandmother’s name, to add his last name. So after much thought and deliberation, I’ve decided to hyphenate, so that my new name will be: first middle my last-mister’s last.

Surprisingly (or not), I’ve been criticized quite a bit about this decision, but not by the people who are close to me. It’s the people who I don’t know very well that usually ask, “Why would you do that?” when I explain what my new last name will be. I wouldn’t think that hyphenating is that odd or unusual in today’s society, but what do I know?

What have you decided to do with your last name? Is you SO supportive or argumentative toward your decision? Has anyone else experienced outside criticism?

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54 Responses to “The Name Game”

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1.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Bruschetta (message)  5,565 posts, Bee Keeper

Thanks for sharing, Miss Beagle! I can’t wait to write MY name post :-)

 
2.
ejs4y8
Member
ejs4y8 (message)  14,581 posts, Bee Keeper

Oh no! I just posted yesterday. I decided to take his name and already have….but in the process of doing so, he made an off-hand comment: “what’s the point in getting married if you didn’t take my name?” and it bugged the crap out of me. GRRRRRRRRRR.

But yes, I took his name. He said it was his gift to me, lol. My initials stayed the same though so it doesn’t feel TOO weird.

 
3.
Miss Bear Cub
Bee
Miss Bear Cub (message)  1,566 posts, Bumble bee

Miss Poodle will probably go into this more - in Chile, there’s not really any issue with losing your maiden name. It gets informally added to the end of everything -
first middle hislast maidenlast
Then the children have this name - first middle dadslast momslast
That’s not really helpful, though - sorry (

 
4.
WDWBride
Member
WDWBride (message)  743 posts, Busy bee

We have been talking about this as my first name kind of rhymes with his last name…think Julia Gulia…

He really wants me to take his but I am still not sold. Part of me wants a hyphentated last name, but then when we have kids, what will their name be?

Lol, sorry…I probably didn’t help.

 
5.
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Guest
Molly

I love reading about other people’s name decisions! I decided to take my fiance’s last name, but he acted like I was totally nuts when I said that I had considered otherwise. :-(

 
6.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Spaniel (message)  6,792 posts, Bee Keeper

Thanks for sharing! I don’t think there is ANYTHING wrong with hyphenating… but I don’t know anyone who’s ever done it. It seems like most people end up going for the convenience of one last name or another!

I am really sad to change my name, but FI really wants me to and I want to have the same last name as my future children. Hyphenating would be so unwieldy for us because we both have long, difficult to pronounce last names!

 
7.
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Guest
twizzler

I am keeping my name. I would have hyphenated but our names are both long and would sound bad. I figured I would just wind up dropping one anyway.

 
8.
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Guest
kaitlin

I contemplated hyphenating, but my FH wants me to **keep** my name. But his is so simple and easy to spell. I flipped flopped a lot, but ultimately decided that I am keeping mine, and that we will hyphenate our children’s.

 
9.
Member Icon
Member
Truc (message)  42 posts, Newbee

I’m keeping my name. My fiance asked once about it, but given that his mom kept her name, he wasn’t that bothered by it. And at least now (without the prospect of children actually on the horizon for a few more years still), we’ve agreed on alternating one last name for kids.

I know a bunch of people with hyphenated last names from grad school, and they don’t phase me at all. It just seems like a slightly longer last name than mine!

 
10.
chicagowife
Member
chicagowife (message)  844 posts, Busy bee

My husband was totally supportive of either choice, but I decided to take his name because for me it was an important symbol of our new life together and our unity as a couple. Also, I think it’s sad that people wouldn’t be able to refer to us and our kids as “The Smiths.” Instead, to feel PC people would have to refer to “Joe Jones, Mary Jones-Smith, and their kid, Jane Jones-Smith.” God forbid Jane gets married and wants to hyphenate….

 
11.
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Member
tatrifon (message)  239 posts, Helper bee

I think I will hyphenate my name and he’s thinking of hyphenating too.. it’s hard though b/c he’s the last of the M*’s and I’m not the last in my family.
At the very least I will use my maiden name professionally.

 
12.
Guest Icon
Guest
DrMrsG

Hyphenating is also a good idea if you have already established yourself professionally in a particular field.

As an older, first time bride to be I was fortunate that my FH assumed that I would keep my maiden name. Professionally it is too complicated to change my name so I decided to split things up. I’ll stay Dr. P professionally and will be Mrs. G otherwise. FH was thrilled that I even considered (and ultimately decided) to go the Mrs G route (as am I).

 
13.
Gator
Member
Gator (message)  607 posts, Busy bee

I also hate the idea of “loosing” my last name and have decided to make it a second middle name. This way my work email doesn’t need to change but in my personal life I can go by his last name. As you know, a lot of customs are different about this (in some African cultures, children are given their own first AND last name) and I don’t think there ever is a “wrong way.”

As I work at a university, many female professors have hyphenated names. As many of them received their professional degrees under their maiden name, they did not want to lose it. Most of their children go by their husband’s last name.

On another note, I have a friend who is half Venezuelan & half Hungarian who goes by her her dad’s last name and BOTH of her mother’s last names. She usually shortens to FirstName DadsLastName-MomsNameInitals (ie: Smith-A.B.). She is proud that her parents shared their names with her and since she does not have a middle name, it makes her feel more connected to both sides of the family.

So don’t give up! You can definitely make it work :)

 
14.
Guest Icon
Guest
shopgirl

I dont think there is anything wrong with hyphenating the name. I thought it was rather normal in today’s society. I am going to take my FI’s last name but I’m going to change my middle name to my currently last name since I don’t originally have a middle name.

 
15.
Erindesmar
Hostess
Erindesmar (message)  2,180 posts, Buzzing bee

I am taking his last name but making my last name my middle name, I think. A few reasons why I’m taking his name:

- Nice last name, sounds good, easier to say and spell

- Easier with kids

- I am a hopeless romantic!!!!!

 
16.
Miss Star
Bee
Miss Star (message)  2,057 posts, Buzzing bee

I’m still working on what we’re doing (post to come!), but I just wanted to say that it’s ridiculous that people are giving you a hard time about it. So silly.

 
17.
lkristine7
Member
lkristine7 (message)  82 posts, Worker bee

I’m hyphenating. But now my name will be really really long. Lol.

My SO (don’t know what that means, but I’m assuming fiance? lol) is very supportive of my decision.

And I haven’t received much criticism. Some people (those that don’t know me) think it’s strange. But even his mom thinks it’s great that I’m keeping my last name. lol.

 
18.
Member Icon
Member
Mrs. Sparkle (message)  37 posts, Newbee

I am taking my FIs last name, and he’s taking mine! So we will both have 2 last names! Of course our names will be exceptionally long (we both have 2 middle names also) but neither of us would dream of dropping any of our names. So we will be the 5 name couple. Our kids will also have both last names. It’s a little long, but it works for us!

 
19.
Miss Sapphire
Member
Miss Sapphire (message)  1,398 posts, Bumble bee

I’m doing something similar to DrMrsG. I work in the family business so there is no way professionally that I would want to lose my maiden name. I’m throwing his on at the end (without giving up my middle name). That way at work I’m just, F M Maiden, and elsewhere I can go by his last name. I’ll end up with 4 names but no hyphen.

 
20.
grumpybear722
Member
grumpybear722 (message)  553 posts, Busy bee

I’m also hyphenating! After my Dad passed away in 2008 I realized all that my last name means to me. My Dad picked my first name (I’m named after his best friend - only it’s the female version of the name), and we have the same middle initial. :) I’ll go from an 8 letter last name to a 15 letter last name (not including the hyphen, of course). I get comments too, but whatever to them! LOL

 
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Mrs. Beagle
Mrs. Beagle

Mrs. Beagle, Austin Age and Occupation: 26, Electrical Engineer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Finance Engagement Date: July 12, 2008 Wedding Date: October 2009 Venue: Church Ceremony/Reception at The Waterford House About Me: I am a true, but rare, Austinite---I was born, raised, and continue to live in this great city! Although I am an engineer by day, I feed my inner creative side through crafting, sewing, and obsessing over Martha Stewart. I love coffee, my mister, NPR, and exploring all the nooks and crannies of Austin. I can't wait to share my adventures in DIY and wedding planning with all of you!

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