Mr. GB and I are that couple. That couple that your kids love to see because our house is filled to the brim with candy and has all the coolest toys. We buy kids whatever they want, spoil them rotten, and then send them home pouting and saying “but THEY let me do _____!! How come you’re not as cool as they are!?” Mr. GB claims he’s going to designate a wall in our house as the “art” wall, where he’ll let the kids draw all over it and send them home with the supplies to make art at their own house. Wrong wrong wrong!
However, we don’t want children of our own. It comes as a shock to most of our friends and family, and they’ve been hearing it for years, but still believe we’ll change our mind. We have our reasons - usually we like to lightheartedly say, “Can you imagine Mr. GB’s huge nose on my tiny featured face? We can’t have children knowing they’d have to go through life with a face like that!” Sometimes I say, “Because it hurts. A lot.” But honestly, we have many real reasons for our decision, many of which are easily dismissed with “just wait, you’ll come around.”
As we’ve been married longer and more people around us are having kids, most of our friends don’t bother; they figure it’ll happen eventually. But strangers/people we’re not as close to think there is actually something psychologically, emotionally wrong with me. I’m a soul-less monster and a disgrace as a woman for not wanting children. I should be handing in my vagina and resigning. They have even taken it as an attack on them that we don’t want children; they get defensive and angry.
I’m still young, they say, and it’s true. I’m not yet 30, but I’ve known for a long time that this is what I want. Mr. GB also agrees with me; he doesn’t want children and he’s happy being that guy with the cool stuff.
Other than flailing about and yelling “My uterus! My decision!” I’m at a loss as to what to say anymore. Mr. GB and I support and are genuinely excited for our friends who have kids or want them. But how do we get people to even just accept our decision, even if they don’t agree or understand, and just trust that we know what is best for us?