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Mr Sunbeam and I are big fans of the Newlywed game. Okay, I am a big fan, and he is a good sport! Friends who were married recently brought it to NYE two years back, and all the couples played a few rounds. I will admit we didn’t do so well, but it’s so much fun to hear each other’s answers! Needless to say, when our pastor mentioned premarital counseling we were beaming (hee hee), and ready to get it started.
I know, I know, premarital counseling is not a game, but I feel it’s a means of exploring each other’s thoughts and perspective with a lot of Q&A, sprinkled with some pastor-ly guidance.
Our pastor had us pick up Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, since we’d only see him a few times before the wedding. If you get the whole set, it consists of a book and two workbooks - one for your FI, and one for you.
We were so excited about our workbooks, we’d do several chapters in one sitting! I’ll admit we didn’t read too much of the main book, but that’s because we discovered the workbook summed up each chapter before the activity. It’s been so much fun. The book does feel a little dated, and we skipped a few chapters that were too basic, since we have ten years under our belts. Overall, we’ve enjoyed working through it and it definitely helped ease any nerves when it was time to discuss our experience with the pastor. Since we breezed through this book, I want to see if I can find another! With 2 months to go, I’m guessing there just won’t be time, but there’s always the Newlywed Game at New Year’s!
Did you and your FI enjoy going through premarital counseling? Do you also happen to love the newlywed board game? If not, I highly recommend it.
We’re actually trying to find a good premarital counselor that we’d be going to. We haven’t found one yet, but those books will be a good start, right?
Thanks for the post!
I’m undecided about the premarital counseling.
However, my aunt was on the Newlywed Game back in the 70s with her first husband!
Thanks for the recommendation! We too, are looking for premarital counseling and I have read a few books on my own. But I love the idea of this book involving both of us.
And yes, totally LOVE the Newlywed Game!! So fun.
Most companies have an EAP or Employee Assistance Program that you can call and get pre-marital counseling sessions absolutely free. We’re doing some right now, and they are helping us so much. We’re also about to go to our “Catholic Engaged Encounter” weekend, this weekend, so we’ll see how that goes…
@365 - the books would be a great start! You could even get away with just buying the workbooks if you wanted!
@Miss Scarlet - that is so cool! Did she win anything?? I don’t even remember if you win stuff on that show!
Those books look really interesting and definitely something I’d be into. Were there any exercises that you had to do together? FI is currently in Canada; would it work if I got him his workbook and shipped it to him?
@ Jennarationnext- absolutely, I remember all the exercises being done individually and then we’d discuss our answers afterwards, which you could do over the phone with your FI!
We used to have one question a day kind of game that we made up, but I think this game would be so much better 
Idk if he would have enough time to actually read a book now, but I’m hoping we can have some kind of counseling before the wedding
Mmm I may have to pick up this book… b/c we’re not getting married in a church our officiant hasn’t done (or had us do) any counseling. Thank for the recommendation
Premarital counseling has actually been one of my favorite aspects of wedding planning. We also now have a wonderful relationship with our reverend due to it. The book we used is called the Marriage Journey, it is definitely for those getting married in the Episcopal Church, but overall it is short sweet, covers all the bases and we really enjoyed spending time together answering the questions and activities.
I’m going to have to look into this book - thank you!
We are doing pre-marital counseling through our officiant, who is also a relative! It gets a bit awkward because he is a relative, but it is useful to talk about everything. And get another person’s unbiased perspective.
we did non-religious pre-marriage counseling, complete with personality analysis, and it was great.
i highly recommend going through such a process. you may not learn stuff that’s groundbreaking, but it makes sure you think through and talk through everything.
awesome thank you! we have done “the love dare” and this would be something that i know we would love to do before hand, i’m definately looking into it!
In Texas, you have the option to attend an 8-hour premarital workshop to save $60 off your license fees. My FI and I went a few weeks ago, and our workshop used the same workbooks (Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts). The books were great and we both loved the experience - I think we even fell a little more in love with each other going through it.
I good book to read is The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. This is awesome book that me and my FI are reading together.
My pastor (and officiant/counselor) also recommended the book by Dr. Les & Leslie Parrot. I’m excited to go through it.
Premarital counseling is often a good first step. While there are many sources for marriage advice, pre-marital counseling on a case-by-case basis is more likely to be effective. Discerning issues of compatibility as well as values each person holds in high regard can be imperative for success.
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Mrs. Sunbeam, San Francisco/Grove City, PA Age and Occupation: 26, Grad Student & Office Manager Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, Motion Designer Engagement Date: May 10, 2008 Wedding Date: September 2009 Venue: Harbison Chapel & The Maple Lane Farm About Me: Mr. Sunbeam and I are high school sweethearts. We both come from a small town in PA but are growing to love the California lifestyle. He loves wine and I love cheese... the perfect combination! When I'm not drooling over wedding blogs, I'm attending grad school, out being a foodie, or attempting to "walk" our cat at the park. Two things guaranteed to excite me are wedding cakes and breaking out my suitcase to travel. Mr. Sunbeam and I are personalizing our hometown wedding to celebrate our high school sweetheart status and PA roots with a few CA touches. After ten years of dating we couldn't be more excited to call each other husband and wife!
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