Weddingbee Blog

I sort-of attended a bachelorette party a couple of weekends ago. I say “sort of”, because I didn’t really participate. Why? I’m too damn old.

Actually, the bride was a little older than me. But I’m pretty sure I’ve always been “too damn old” for some things. The party had food, drinks, and plenty of naughty games, all of which I enjoyed very much. But once we went out to the bars… I found myself hanging back, drinking water, and distancing myself from the fun-loving gals who were having a ball partying the night away.

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The bride had on a shirt like this one. She had to get guys she didn’t know to perform each thing on the list and sign their names next to it. She also had a bouquet made of Blow-Pops and was encouraged by her entourage to sell the lollipops to strangers with the sassy-but-lewd line: “Suck for a buck?” She seemed to be having a great time doing it, and the guys she approached were really good sports too.

But I couldn’t bring myself to join them in their fun. Even though they were having a ball, even though they were a great bunch of women, and even though I had been guaranteed a bed to sleep in and a designated driver: I sat on the sidelines, resisting the bride and her friends begging me to stiffen up my drinks. This was Saturday night, and I was thinking about all the things I needed to accomplish on my Sunday. I was thinking about how I didn’t want to throw up, and how much I hate hangovers. I hate feeling sick, and don’t have any desire to do things that I know will make me ill.

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I’m no goody-two-shoes - I do like to have a few drinks from time to time and I don’t disapprove of those who really like to party. But personally, I also like to sleep in my own bed. And wake up in the morning feeling refreshed and rested, not trashed and barfy. And I am really not a bar-girl. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve been out to a bar, and I don’t really like loud places or mingling with strangers. I’m shy and tend to try to fade in to the background and stay out of people’s way.

One of the girls who was there with us (also hanging back and not drinking quite so much) decided she may take it upon herself to throw me a bachelorette party. Hanging with me that night gave her some ideas of what I wouldn’t want to do (if I were the one wearing the cute pink “I’m the Bride!” tiara).

I felt really bad for being such a party-pooper, but I’m also a stubborn woman who doesn’t generally cave to peer pressure. I carefully weigh what I will and won’t do. I really hope the bride’s spirits weren’t dampened by my leaving at 11:30 with all the aunts (including her mother)! She’s a great gal and she’ll hopefully remember her bachelorette party forever (if she remembers it at all - depending on how many shots people got her to do!!).

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I debated writing this post because I didn’t want anyone (including the bride, if she were to read this) to think I’m complaining about her party. I’m not!! It was just such a learning experience for me. I came away from it both embarrassed at myself for being such a wimp and copping out on all the drunken debauchery, and proud of myself for keeping control and only doing what I felt comfortable with doing.

Hive, what about you: Would you go along with the crowd to make the bride’s party special, even if it was outside your comfort zone or something you really didn’t want to do? Would you do it just so she’d have the best day possible and not think of you as a Debbie Downer? Or would you try to decline in the politest way you could? Did I do the right thing, or should I have sucked it up and partied down, consequences be damned?