Why I Fully Recommend Having a First Look

Why I Fully Recommend Having a First Look

July 30th, 2009 @ 4:05 pm by Mrs. Powder Puff

OK ladies, our wedding photos are scheduled to be ready tomorrow (WOOOHOOO!), which means that we can pick up where we left off with the Powder Puff recaps next week. Holla!

In the mean time, I thought I’d throw my two cents in about an issue that I’ve seen being debated around the hive: the first look.

When Mr. Puffy and I were freshly engaged, the very first thing we did was to promptly hire an amazing photographer. At our first meeting, she asked whether or not we’d be interested in doing a first look. Little old me, who had yet to discover the wonders of Weddingbee, had no clue what that was. After she explained it to me, I was immediately against it. ‘No way!’ I thought. ‘I’m sticking with tradition. Nothing can be as special as that moment when Mr. Powder Puff sees me walking down the aisle! We’ll just do photos between the ceremony and reception.’

As our wedding date loomed closer, I began to worry about this plan. Since our ceremony and reception were being held at the same location, we had only scheduled an hour to complete all the photos. Eek! An hour would be no where near enough time! Exit, calm. Enter, panic.

With about one week till the ceremony, I finally relented. I spoke with Mr. Powder Puff, and we agreed that having a first look would be the most practical way to go. And let me tell you, I am SO GLAD we made that decision. Here’s why:

More time for photos.
This one is pretty obvious. Instead of having one hour, we had a whole two 1/2 hours to take pictures, which means we could do cooler stuff, and felt more relaxed doing it. We got all the photos in that I wanted to take, and had time left over.
The first look is just as special, if not more special than the walk down the aisle.
Our photographer set up a beautiful first look for us, which you’ll see in a later post, but it was really awesome to have a few moments with Mr. Powder Puff to myself. We could kiss and cry and chat, and not have 150 people staring us down. And then we could take some sweeeet pictures. It really relaxed me, and I got to spend time with my favorite person, instead of hidden away in my super secret hiding spot.
The walk down the aisle will still be really special.
Even though we had a first look, there’s something about walking down the aisle to meet your beloved that is so amazing. I had tears in my eyes.
Family photos take a looooong time.
We decided that since we were doing a first look, that we would take family photos after the ceremony. Nice and quick like. Wham, bam, thank you ma’am. In reality… not so much. Arranging everyone takes time, children don’t always look at the camera, you’ll want many shots with many different people in them. It takes quite a while. We never EVER would have gotten the family photos all in if we hadn’t done a first look.
It gives you time to attend your cocktail hour.
Yes, even though family photos took up a good chunk of time, we still had a good 1/2 hour or so to attend our own cocktail hour. We could chat and mingle with our guests, not to mention get some food and a little drinky in. How did I feel about that?

Woooooo!

So, mis amigas, trust me on this one, you will not regret having a first look. Honestly, it was the best decision I ever made.

Will you be doing a first look?

*Guest photo

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64 Responses to “Why I Fully Recommend Having a First Look”

Bee

Mrs. Quiche (message) 2,186 posts, Buzzing bee

Yes

7/30/09 @ 4:11 pm (reply)

Member

melodicsighs1 (message) 804 posts, Busy bee

Thanks for this list, PP! I definitely plan to do a first look - picture time is mucho important to me - but, I do waver sometimes and worry about making the walk down the aisle less special. I’m glad to hear yours was still so meaningful.

7/30/09 @ 4:12 pm (reply)

Member

futurejet (message) 107 posts, Blushing bee

Yup! Mainly for the logistical and emotional reasons you wrote about. I really want some time with just the two of us (and our amazing photographer!)

7/30/09 @ 4:13 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Bear Cub (message) 1,354 posts, Bumble bee

abso-frickin-lutely.

7/30/09 @ 4:13 pm (reply)

Member

WDWBride (message) 476 posts, Helper bee

I would love to do this but Df has vetoed. He is stuck on tradition and refuses to see me before I walk down the aisle. He almost went as far as to say he couldn’t see me the day before either!!

7/30/09 @ 4:15 pm (reply)

Member

St. Patrick (message) 63 posts, Worker bee

We have so much time in between our ceremony and our reception that we don’t need to. Although, I do really like the idea and I’m not opposed to it.

7/30/09 @ 4:20 pm (reply)

Member

Curlysue (message) 625 posts, Busy bee

Yes we will At first I was against it too, but then I realized how special it will be with just the two of us. They say alone time is basically not at all once the events start so might as well get that time in together until the reception is over!

Mrs. Powder Puff—how did that Quaker Marriage License go over? I came across an old post where you made it on Zazzle but I haven’t had time to see if you covered that part yet. Just curious!

7/30/09 @ 4:20 pm (reply)

Member

DesignerBee (message) 95 posts, Worker bee

I asked FI how he felt about this and he is all for it. He seems to think it will make him more relaxed during the ceremony having gotten a lot of big emotional stuff done without lots of prying eyes. I am really happy he is up for this idea!

7/30/09 @ 4:24 pm (reply)

Member

MrsSl82be (message) 1,472 posts, Bumble bee

NO question, I can’t wait! We’re doing our family pics before the ceremony since everythings in one place, and that way we’ll have plenty of time…basically, for all the same reasons you did it

7/30/09 @ 4:26 pm (reply)

10.

Bee

Miss Beagle (message) 1,053 posts, Bumble bee

You are too cute Mrs. Powderpuff! We haven’t decided yet, but I would really like too!

7/30/09 @ 4:28 pm (reply)

11.

Member

msashleymarie (message) 374 posts, Helper bee

I’m excited to have a first look! I may try to do some of the family pictures beforehand too!

7/30/09 @ 4:30 pm (reply)

12.

Member

Melissabegins (message) 863 posts, Busy bee

Twist my arm a little - I think that it’s just a necessary thing. You spend all that time and money on the details, the photographer, the food… with a first look, you can get the shots you want, capture the details (because he/she’s already gotten you! they can do the rest while you..) actually EAT and DRINK at the party!

Plus, the self induced stress of shielding yourself from the world after your hair and makeup is just ridiculous, haha. What a complete waste of energy, in my opinion.

7/30/09 @ 4:32 pm (reply)

13.

Member

leenmachine (message) 258 posts, Helper bee

Hmm, you’ve sold me on the first look…now I wonder if I can persuade my fiance!!

7/30/09 @ 4:33 pm (reply)

14.

Member

alvina (message) 299 posts, Helper bee

Exactly our situation! We want the first look to be down the aisle but it’s looking like we’ll have to do a first look in order to have time for pics :o\

Thanks for the post!

7/30/09 @ 4:33 pm (reply)

15.

Member

BlushingBride530 (message) 269 posts, Helper bee

I don’t think there is a wrong or right way to first see each other - it is very much each couple’s personal preference. I, for one, saw my groom for the first time when I walked down the aisle, and I wouldn’t replace that moment with anything in the world - not even with extra photos or cocktail time, as enticing as they sound! I don’t regret my choice one bit. But I do think it’s great that couples can choose how they want that special first look to be.

7/30/09 @ 4:35 pm (reply)

16.

Member

BlushingBride530 (message) 269 posts, Helper bee

P.S. I’d love to see a Bee post about the other viewpoint!

7/30/09 @ 4:37 pm (reply)

17.

Member

lindz1984 (message) 4 posts, Wannabee

How long did it take for your pictures post ceremony?
Did you wear your wedding band in the pictures prior to the ceremony?

Thanks

7/30/09 @ 4:41 pm (reply)

18.

Guest

notsojenny

we’re absolutely doing one! the first time i heard about it i paused for a moment and thought “YES, we MUST do that!”
i’m actually really excited about getting that time with JUST him before the chaos ensues… we’re much more ourselves alone than around even our wedding party more or less everyone attending the wedding
can’t wait to see how your photos came out!

7/30/09 @ 4:48 pm (reply)

19.

Hostess

LatteLove (message) 4,120 posts, Honey bee

agreed. Also, I can’t believe how fast you’re getting your photos!
Ours are still 4-6 weeks away! (and our wedding was 3 weeks after yours) *must. be. patient*

Can’t wait to see more. every pic you’ve shown looks like you’re having a total blast.

7/30/09 @ 4:50 pm (reply)

20.

Hostess

LatteLove (message) 4,120 posts, Honey bee

oops. *3 weeks before*. duh.

7/30/09 @ 4:52 pm (reply)

21.

Bee

Miss Sunbeam (message) 523 posts, Busy bee

Thanks for the advice! We are planning on doing a first look, but I’ve been having second thoughts thinking the walking down the isle moment wouldn’t be as special. Well now I am secure in our first look choice, so thank you!

7/30/09 @ 4:53 pm (reply)

22.

Bee

Mrs. Powder Puff (message) 834 posts, Busy bee

@Curlysue: It went over really well! Most people signed it, and wrote little messages too- it’s really cute. We’re in the process of having it framed so we can display it in our apartment.
@Melissabegins: I could not agree more. Here here!

7/30/09 @ 4:56 pm (reply)

23.

Bee

Mrs. Powder Puff (message) 834 posts, Busy bee

@lindz1984: After the ceremony, we had pictures of us signing our marriage license, took a couple of pictures of me and the mister together, and then took family photos. All in all, I’d say it took 45 minutes.

Our photographer asked us if we’d like to wear our wedding bands for our first look, but I decided it’d just be easier not to. So no. I wore my engagement ring, but Mr. PP doesn’t have his ring on.

@LatteLove: I know!!! I can’t believe how fast our photographer is! I can’t wait to see more of your pro photos. I stalk your personal blog- mwah ha ha!

7/30/09 @ 5:00 pm (reply)

24.

Member

bluebutterfly (message) 616 posts, Busy bee

I always had the dream of waiting until I walked down the aisle for my groom to see me….but it looks like we won’t have an aisle if we do our vineyard wedding and I think a first look will allow us to take our breath away together alone…need to do some talking though not sure what the FI thinks!

7/30/09 @ 5:16 pm (reply)

25.

Bee

Miss Cowboy Boot (message) 260 posts, Helper bee

Thanks for this advice! This will help me plan for more than one hour of photos before the ceremony. Convincing the mister that we need more than one hour? Yikes.

7/30/09 @ 5:37 pm (reply)

26.

Hostess

Erindesmar (message) 1,893 posts, Buzzing bee

We are sticking with tradition at this point = no first look. Though I secretly want to meet up with him in the morning before we get ready at our resort for a hug and good luck : )

7/30/09 @ 5:37 pm (reply)

27.

Hostess

Lillindy (message) 4,275 posts, Honey bee

I’m so glad you posted this. We didn’t do a first look and I totally regret it because the family photos were so rushed, we didn’t have too much time for cool photos, and we didn’t get to mingle during cocktail hour. I hope all the not-yet-married people on here read this and follow your advice!

7/30/09 @ 5:40 pm (reply)

28.

Bee

Mrs. Hot Cocoa (message) 1,721 posts, Bumble bee

We did a first look b/c we wanted to do all of the portraits before the ceremony. You already know how that went! LOL.

7/30/09 @ 6:00 pm (reply)

29.

Member

Crash (message) 378 posts, Helper bee

We’re doing one for three reasons:
1-Photos, because we have a pretty limited time at our ceremony/reception location
2-We are together every day, and segregating ourselves apart on one of the biggest days of our lives is just about the most artificial thing in the world
3-Most importantly, it is the only thing that will keep me from racing down the aisle as fast as my 4″ heels can carry me

7/30/09 @ 6:02 pm (reply)

30.

Guest

Miss Politico

Yes because I want to be at the party! We are having a 6:30 p.m. Catholic ceremony on a Friday with our reception immediately following.

7/30/09 @ 6:02 pm (reply)

31.

Member

tea (message) 2,659 posts, Sugar bee

i want to do it but haven’t discussed it with the boy yet. not sure how he’ll lean. but i figure since we’d technically be married anyway [we plan on marrying earlier just the two of us] it wouldn’t matter.

surprisingly a male coworker told me that i should wait for the traditional walking down the aisle look. apparently i’d take away the magic of the moment with the first look. there was no convincing him. we have debated this so many times that i finally told him that i was glad i didn’t marry him. LOL. God bless his wife.

7/30/09 @ 6:27 pm (reply)

32.

Guest

Shannon

Thank you for this post. This is something I have been struggling with. I still have some convincing to do with other parties involved (the groom, his mom and my mom.) I will be using your reasonings in my opening arguments with them.

7/30/09 @ 7:01 pm (reply)

33.

Member

beaninca (message) 76 posts, Worker bee

I was encouraged by my photographer and I am sticking with tradition. There is nothing that I am doing traditional and this is one thing I want to keep. I want that climatic experience, photos will just have to wait.

7/30/09 @ 7:03 pm (reply)

34.

Member

beaninca (message) 76 posts, Worker bee

@ blusingbride530

ps. I would appreciate a post too from the other POV.

7/30/09 @ 7:04 pm (reply)

35.

Bee

Miss Cloud (message) 587 posts, Busy bee

I go back and forth, mostly because I am worried about the time thing too, but Mr Cloud refuses to even consider it! he told me if I even bother to schedule one, he won’t show up haha

7/30/09 @ 7:11 pm (reply)

36.

Bee

Miss French Bulldog (message) 6,077 posts, Bee Keeper

I went back and forth on this and then finally consulted Mr Frenchie and he really don’t want to do a first look… so I basically let him decide. I didn’t know and he knew so ergo no first look.

7/30/09 @ 7:20 pm (reply)

37.

Member

Miss_Riley (message) 61 posts, Worker bee

Thanks for all the ammunition. Now its time to sway Mr. Riley with all those great points…

7/30/09 @ 7:41 pm (reply)

38.

Guest

tdot

SO HAPPY this post was posted today! We are about to make the same decision

I was completely against it at first. But we have a schedule *exactly* like yours and I would love, after having spent so much time and money getting this whole thing going and off the ground, to have some time to enjoy it all and take it in.

ALSO: my recent experience at my BIL’s wedding - who took them after- was HORRID: guests didnt get to see the couple at all because the rest of the day/night were rushed and we all waited for them for forever while the photos were being taken. some guests got so fed up they left. plus, as a family member in the photos, it meant waiting a lot longer to relax and enjoy, and most importantly - to EAT! If you do the photos after, provide refreshments and food, and let the guests see what you are doing. we almost passed out from the heat, too, so be sure to provide shade.

7/30/09 @ 7:50 pm (reply)

39.

Member

jmc (message) 476 posts, Helper bee

We’re not. But in other news, I love the bow belt on your dress!

7/30/09 @ 8:21 pm (reply)

40.

Member

D.Marie (message) 1,381 posts, Bumble bee

Nice cocktail hour photo Mrs. Powder Puff! You look great! The only problem with us taking photos before the ceremony is that we’re not allowed to go to our venue until 11am and the ceremony starts at noon and I will be getting ready with getting my dress on at the venue at 11 and I figure we can also use that time for the girls to get ready and for the photographer to take photos of just me and the girls. And we already have to get up early to get our hair done and be at the venue by 11am…geeze why arent we having a night time ceremony!! It would be nice and now that you mention all the time it took with the family photos…I hope we have enough time!

7/30/09 @ 8:44 pm (reply)

41.

Bee

Mrs. Glitter (message) 880 posts, Busy bee

We had a first look. It turned out wonderfully. I was such a ball of nerves and seeing him before the ceremony totally calmed me down. This is great info for the engaged folks!

7/30/09 @ 9:11 pm (reply)

42.

Member

Bridebella (message) 351 posts, Helper bee

We are doing one too. At first we were both on the fence but then talking to our photographer, we realized how much time that gives us TOGETHER to make the day even more special. I know once we get to the reception we will be buzzing around so I am really excited for that calm time together to reflect on the day.

7/30/09 @ 9:12 pm (reply)

43.

Bee

Miss Poodle (message) 3,020 posts, Sugar bee

you rock!

7/30/09 @ 9:23 pm (reply)

44.

Member

ramosianchica (message) 61 posts, Worker bee

Definitely do it! I was supposed to have it but ran out of time and we didnt get the shots we wanted, so now I really, reaaaaaaaallly wanna have a trash the dress shoot to make up!

7/30/09 @ 9:34 pm (reply)

45.

Member

MrsWoohoo (message) 331 posts, Helper bee

I’m with you on the first look. Our photog captured a wonderful progression of ours, and it made for a really great spread in our album.

7/30/09 @ 9:37 pm (reply)

46.

Member

Soon Mrs. B (message) 38 posts, Newbee

We decided not to do a “first look” even though it would be easier to have photos, especially with his GIGANTIC family. But I think that nothing can replace the look on his face when he sees me for the first time walking down the aisle for the last time as anyone other than his wife. But, I think it’s up to everyone personally. I just know that it is a magical moment I want and have set my bridesmaids as my guard dogs day of to make sure he doesn’t peek!! :D

7/30/09 @ 10:35 pm (reply)

47.

Member

His Barista (message) 1,844 posts, Buzzing bee

I’m not sure. I haven’t talked about it with the FI yet. = )

7/30/09 @ 11:21 pm (reply)

48.

Member

linzella (message) 407 posts, Helper bee

Totally agree! My fiance and I were both kind of nervous/jittery the day of the wedding, but our first look totally calmed both of us down. For us, I’m glad we were able to get those emotions out of the way so that we could relax and enjoy the ceremony.

7/31/09 @ 1:20 am (reply)

49.

Member

pvaulter718 (message) 1,604 posts, Bumble bee

I really appreciate your insight. We’re still debating the first look, so it’s nice for both of us to read an account from someone who has already done theirs! Thanx!

7/31/09 @ 7:43 am (reply)

50.

Member

krissybee (message) 1,040 posts, Bumble bee

i keep going back and forth about this one! i might leave it up the the FI! This post makes me want to more though!

7/31/09 @ 8:35 am (reply)

51.

Member

knapper08 (message) 132 posts, Blushing bee

Ahhh I’m on the fence. I absolutely see the benefit of having a first look, but I’m stuck on wanting to save up the anticipation for the aisle. Me, I’ll be a ball of nerves if we don’t, and I have my 10 year old nephew walking me down the aisle….so I don’t have the support of an adult to help me along. Hmmmm…..keep the opinions coming, maybe I’ll hear the right reason that will help me decide! (he’s easy going and is fine either way)

If we do a first look where I am getting ready, can we ride in the same car together to the church?

7/31/09 @ 9:15 am (reply)

52.

Guest

lindseylou

I am all about the first look! Plus we’re using Shutter Sam too so I can’t wait!!!

7/31/09 @ 9:49 am (reply)

53.

Bee

Mrs. Taffy (message) 2,605 posts, Sugar bee

I could not agree more! Best decision we made.

7/31/09 @ 10:07 am (reply)

54.

Bee

Mrs. Powder Puff (message) 834 posts, Busy bee

@lindseylou: She’s seriously fabulous. We just got our pro photos back and I’m BLOWN AWAY! I can’t wait to share them with you guys!

7/31/09 @ 10:07 am (reply)

55.

Bee

Miss Bruschetta (message) 5,553 posts, Bee Keeper

I still have to blog about our decision relative to this, huh?

7/31/09 @ 10:35 am (reply)

56.

Member

IA_Snowflake (message) 1,622 posts, Bumble bee

Absolutely, I’ve known from the beginning we would. One thing to add to your list: You look the best/freshest beforehand - especially at an outdoor wedding.

7/31/09 @ 10:37 am (reply)

57.

Member

evelinej (message) 364 posts, Helper bee

I agree, more photos, more photos! However, I chose to do the first look as I’m walking down the isle. Luckily, we had a few hours in between the ceremony and reception. I was very nervous!

7/31/09 @ 10:55 am (reply)

58.

Bee

Mrs. Powder Puff (message) 834 posts, Busy bee

@IA_Snowflake: Ooo, EXCELLENT point!

7/31/09 @ 11:19 am (reply)

59.

Member

phruphru (message) 180 posts, Blushing bee

We were planning on doing a first look but then the time just slipped through our fingers (and there was super drama with transportation to the church!) so I am absolutely not opposed to doing first looks, but it just didn’t work out for us. I will say that it was really, really special to see my husband’s face light up and then both of us kinda get weepy as I walked down the aisle. Honestly, both ways — seeing each other for the first time beforehand and seeing each other for the first time in your church/ceremony venue — are super special, no matter what.

We were able to be there for most of cocktail hour, too, btw, but that’s because we had the good ol Catholic Gap (ceremony at 3 p.m., reception at 5 p.m.).

7/31/09 @ 11:24 am (reply)

60.

Member

ScatterbrainedBride (message) 58 posts, Worker bee

Definitely having a first look! For all of the reasons you mentioned, and IA_Snowflake’s reason…more time, fresher makeup, etc. It just makes sense!

7/31/09 @ 11:25 am (reply)

61.

Member

Mrs.pinkblossoms (message) 89 posts, Worker bee

I totally see why people do it and why it works out for them…but the mr. and I are both totally against it for our wedding and our photographer alwaaayys doe the first look shot but we vetoed it then and will continue to do so! =) BUT again- I see how it works out for some couples and think it’s a great idea if it is something you both want. =) BTW- what a cute pic of you! You look like you had a blast, congrats!

7/31/09 @ 12:36 pm (reply)

62.

Member

KatieBug3017 (message) 1,434 posts, Bumble bee

When we first talked about a first look moment, my FI was a bit concerned. He is such a traditional guy. But, along with being traditional, he is also shy…and I was able to get him to see that a first look would give us the opportunity to have a moment together and to not be self-conscious about everyone looking at us. I’ve made him into a believer in it…thank goodness! I can’t wait!

8/3/09 @ 9:12 am (reply)

63.

Member

HistoryBride (message) 411 posts, Helper bee

This post ruffles my fur and makes me want to defend the traditionalists, but I can’t think of a way to get all of the thoughts out of my head without sounding really negative, so I’ll just say this:

Our moment in private after the ceremony was more passionate and emotional than I think a first look could have been for us, since it was charged with all of the emotion of all of the anticipation and the thrill of just being married in front of all of our friends and family. Not to mention making the “man and wife” kiss that much better

8/3/09 @ 10:06 pm (reply)

64.

Member

alohababy28 (message) 192 posts, Blushing bee

while reading this I sent Mr. a link to this blog and asked if he’d be interested. Your reasons absolutely convinced me. You are my idol Mrs. powderpuff!

8/28/09 @ 3:15 pm (reply)