Wedding Blog
When planning our wedding, I read a lot of interesting articles about how to plan a “green”, eco-friendly event. In general, I am always open to learning new ways to reduce my carbon footprint.
I was sifting through the latest issue of Parade Magazine yesterday. In the “Ask Marilyn” section, Marilyn vos Savant made an interesting comment about efforts to greenify weddings these days. She pointed to air travel as one of the main reasons that weddings have a larger footprint than other events their size. Her suggestion: “To really go green, couples could invite only local guests and beam the event to everyone else via webcam.”
For me, it posed some thought-provoking questions, and I’d love to hear what others think about this. I am not one to judge anyone for their choices. My maid of honor and bridesmaid flew from New York to LA to attend our wedding. Mr. G’s aunt flew from Korea to LA to attend. A few other friends flew from out-of-state. The remainder of our guests were local.
Would you sacrifice having your long distance loved ones attend your wedding, for the sake of reducing your carbon footprint? And as long as we’re on the subject, would you trade a lavish international honeymoon to stay local and “green”? Where do you draw the line?
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Share this post: A Green(er) Wedding: Would you?
This would be something I would leave up to the guests. I do, however, think it is a GREAT idea for the guests who cannot make it under any circumstance. (Elderly grandparents, international friends) Not only would it be green, but it would share this important day with everyone.
I think I saw somewhere that you can donate money to purchase trees/the planting of trees that would counteract the carbon footprint of your wedding. Not sure where I saw it though.
Not a chance. Sorry, I am all for doing what we can within reasonable means to help the environment, but there is a point where people take it waaay too far.
I am not opposed to a local honeymoon, but it wouldn’t be because I didn’t want to fly somewhere for fear of my carbon footprint.
Great questions for discussion, Mrs. G!
Our donation to help the turtles is our biggest nod to the environment — closely followed by the local ingredients we’ll be serving at the reception.
I agree with Gator that this would be an awesome idea to include people who for one reason or another can’t make it to the wedding.
I agree with Mrs. Quiche.
Helping the environment in little ways as we can is important, but I’m certainly not sacrificing spending the biggest day of my friends’ lives with them (or asking them to not spend my wedding day with me in order to save the earth)! A honeymoon is a once in a lifetime experience, and I’m not willing to give that up (or any trip abroad) for the minuscule impact it will have on the environment.
I think there are other ways of contributing anyway without asking your friends and family not to travel for your wedding, etc.
I’m with Mrs. Quiche on this one. I will reduce my carbon footprint in other ways but can’t invite only local guests. I would estimate 70% of our guests will travel including us. We don’t live near any family so a local wedding would be pretty lonely.
Since we are traveling to our wedding, a local honeymoon does not really apply. We are trying to plan a honeymoon to take place between the wedding and where we live to reduce our flying time and jet lag.
You could do what we did and carbon offset your wedding. We did it through Carbonfund.org. Read about how I figured it out here:
http://www.weddingbee.com/2009/04/22/happy-earth-day/
I agree with Mrs. Quiche and Lattelove as well. A marriage is a celebration. I’m sorry to leave many carbon foot prints for that one day - but in my mind, my marriage is worth it.
no, i wouldn’t. it’s important for me to share the day in person with my loved ones (who are going to come from all across the globe). also, i love to travel and will not give up traveling the world. i feel that there could probably be more peace in this world if people would just travel more and meet other people. i don’t feel the connection made via a webcam is the same as the one made in person.
i would love to reduce my carbon footprint, but i am going to do it in other ways that won’t take away from my sanity (seeing my loved ones and traveling keep me sane———even if for just a bit:-)
our caterer is going to get most of the food locally, i am not using real flowers (at least not the amount i had intended to use) and i am going to use a lot of recycled/recyclable materials. i still have a year, so there’s probably more things i will do.
i will say, if my guests chose not to come for “greener” reasons, i would be supportive of it. to each their own!
I read that article, too. I hadn’t thought of the travel before. I think it’s one thing to have a green wedding, and another thing to have a green wedding and tell everyone you’re having a green wedding.
FWIW, if we only had local guests at our wedding, only my FILs would be in attendance.
If you truly wanted to “go green” with this suggestion, I suppose you would NEVER see your out of town friends and family? I don’t know - I think a wedding is one of the bets excuses to see people who you can’t see often otherwise. If you can’t travel to see someone’s wedding, when would you travel/visit?
I would like my wedding to be as eco-friendly as possible; but I would not sacrifice having friends and family there. I have thought about having the wedding further north since most of our families live up there, but then my friends from down here would have to travel so I don’t know if it would make much of a difference.
Gator does have a great point about people who can’t come anyways. My grandparents have a hard time getting around and that would be the perfect way to include them!!
Mrs. Peep Toe had a great post about carbon offsets (see her Happy Earth Day! post). She suggests Terrapass and Carbonfund.org. There are also some venues that are “green.” My favorite in the DC area is Woodend Sanctuary, which is owned by the audobon society - part of the payment for the venue counts as a donation.
I think it’s great that more couples want to have a eco friendly wedding and hopefully it’s not a fad that will die away. However, I think it’s great to do every little thing, bc I truly believe every little bit helps. However, not to the point where I’m going to tell friends and family who have to fly to my wedding that they can just watch my wedding on webcam! Not quite the same thing!
I think though, overall, it’s more important to apply your eco conscious thinking to your day to day life after the wedding as well.
I would LOVE to have a sustainable caterer or Farm To Table cuisine at our wedding. But w/o a venue yet who knows!
I would draw the line there. If it’s something that really bothers you, you could always go to carbonfund.org.
But it brings up some interesting questions–How do you introduce this idea to your guests and family? And how do you “invite” out of town guests?
One of my friends went “greener” (there is no truly green wedding), by having two events. They had one in California for her family, and then flew to the UK to have one for his family. It was a lower carbon footprint than having one event where half the people had to fly. They then bought carbon offsets to attempt to make it a carbon-neutral event.
It probably still wasn’t a perfect solution, but worked well for them.
I think you are much better off buying carbon offset credits to counter your guests travel than not inviting them. I know I would be insanely offended to not be invited to a wedding because the couple cared more about the environment than me!
It also seems really tacky, like a way to ask for gifts but not invite your guests to celebrate.
We will be webcamming our ceremony to the family that can’t come, but they are still welcome to come.
We are talking about going on a cross-country train trip for our honeymoon, which will dramatically reduce our carbon footprint, cost less, and also be fun.
I would be completely againist the idea of webcasting my wedding only because all of my family lives far away and I want them there (insert temper-tantrum here). On the other hand, if I was really worried about my carbon footprint I may forego the international honeymoon in favor of something more eco friendly.
Also, I work for an environmental firm and they all laugh at the idea of buying carbon credits to offset your footprint. Once the cabon is released, it’s released, you can’t go backwards.
My FH’s uncle owns a farm and the EPA actually has sent him a bill for his cows “emissions output”. Seriously? Doesn’t this go to far?
absolutely not. my family and friends are top priority, not to mention i bet they would feel slighted if asked to not attend. the honeymoon is your one chance to celebrate your relationship as newlyweds, and what better way to do that than by exploring some far-away locale with your new hubby? to be honest, i’m kind of sick of the wedding industry making those of us who don’t want to bend over backwards to be “green” feel like we are enviro terrorists. we all love our planet, and i do what i can, but leave my poor wedding alone!
My wedding would be pretty lonely for me if we stayed local. My parents wouldn’t even be there. So, while I think trying to help the environment is a great thing that’s taking it too far. I think Miss Peep Toe’s carbon offset is a great way to do it.
Since the bride and groom will be the ones flying home to the wedding in this situation, I’d have to say that flying is good. But by taking ourselves back to where most of the family is, rather than having them all fly out here, I guess that helps a bit.
we would both love to be able to have a “greener” wedding but my fiance is English, and a quarter of our guests are coming from overseas to celebrate with us, and almost everyone else is out of town, except for my parents. It will be a destination for everyone… but we’ve been looking into carbon offsetting like Mrs. PeepToe & other ways to offset the fact that all of our guests will be flying to get to our wedding.
Great topic for discussion!
I think the little everyday things like recycling, re-purposing, etc make a bigger difference than attempts at green weddings. Weddings are a one-time thing and should not be an indicator of how environmentally friendly u are (or not!). Living green is a way of life and should be up to the individual person to decide. To make my wedding greener, I would maybe not make my invitation suite a zillion pages long, or I would try to borrow items here and there, but I certainly would not dis-invite ppl just b/c they live far away!
I wouldn’t go as extreme as not inviting out of town guests. Maybe if they cannot make it we can web-cam it… I am going to offset our carbon footprint at carbonfund.org like Mrs. Peep Toe!
I would definitely draw the line there — a webcam is NOT the same as being there and actually seeing and hugging and laughing and crying with your family and friends. The emotional value is worth it.
As to honeymoon, I couldn’t afford a big international trip anyway (we did a Mexican cruise), but to be a little bit flippant, why can’t I go see this beautiful earth that I’m trying to hard to save?
I think that a consistent life’s worth of living by the reduce/reuse/recycle guidelines and other green choices like less power consumption, bike commuting, or buying only local/organic foods will add up to much much more done for the environment than the carbon you’d save in a webcam only wedding. And IA_Snowflake, I always thought carbon offsets were a little silly too — no offense to those who purchase them, but it seems a bit like environmental bulimia to me. Used responsibly or occasionally (like Mrs. Peep Toe), it could be great, but as an excuse to maintain a big carbon footprint unnecessarily? No, that’s just taking away guilt while leaving the problem.
This actually reminds me of a Martha Stewart episode I watched where they were planning a “green” wedding for someone who works for Martha. The wedding was held in Tennessee (so many people were traveling from NY and all over, since only the groom was org. from there); they were on a ranch so all of the rentals, food, etc had to be brought out there, on top of guest transportation…but on the flip side, the food was local, the flowers were local, etc.
The funny thing is, they didn’t talk about the travel part AT ALL.
I guess the point I’m trying to make about that little story is exactly what people above are saying…you can still make concious efforts to be more green and still have the travel piece, just do something to off-set the efforts (which Martha’s team didn’t acknowledge!).
There’s no way my family and friends from out of state would be satisfied with just watching out wedding on a webcam.
Quiche said it very well.. let’s do what we can let others do what they can and or are comfortable with. If Uncle ___ and Aunt ___ are top “green” to travel that is their option to miss the event, certainly invite them, and let them decide… web cam instead? I don’t think so.
I have made it a goal from the beginning to have our wedding be eco-friendly. However, I am looking forward to seeing some people that live far away that I hardly ever get to see. I wouldn’t give up inviting them. Most of our guests are driving in anyway, but the Dude’s immediate family is so spread out! Chicago and Colorado! No way would we get married without them there!!
Well, for me honestly, I don’t have a lot of out of town guests and I think only 1 will be flying, the rest will be driving. If driving is acceptable, then yes, I’d avoid inviting the ones tha have to fly. 
Half my wedding party is 2-5 hrs away. Bad bride!
I would give up a lavish honeymoon for a local one. In fact, we’ve already been toying with this idea. FI and I visited a winery for my b-day and we loved it. Texas has been becoming increasingly popular for its wines so we have been considering taking a wine tour for our honeymoon instead of a vacation away. Again, is driving versus flying more “green”?
I think individuals are an important part of the overall environmental initiative, but I think individuals would be better served getting involved in politics and challenge businesses/manufacturers that have a GINORMOUS carbon footprint. My 70 wedding guests flying to the Caribbean could fit in a handful of rows on a single flight, whereas people are taking huge private jets for day trips, China’s in a permanent fog, etc.
I think I’m trying really hard to find ways to have a “greener” wedding but I would never tell my mom and sister to watch over a web cam, because without them there’s no wedding to me - even tho we are going to do the web cam for all my other family members that can’t travel.
I believe that one can take this “going green” thing only so far before descending into lunacy. All living beings consume resources; that’s the circle of life. We don’t have to apologize for flying across the country to see a loved one get married.
There’s no way in this whole world I would not have invited my family, who all live in Canada. We put our wedding in the place that was accessible by driving to the majority of our guests, but my family were going to have to fly pretty much no matter where we had it. There’s no way they would have missed it either. And we took the honeymoon we wanted.
My carbon footprint from my wedding was bigger than most of my other carbon footprints, but we brides are small potatoes in comparison to other industries. That’s where we need to focus our attention.
to be as green as possible, you’d be using all local vendors, making your dress, only choosing flowers that are in season, same with food, keeping decor @ a minimum, evites, not going on a honeymoon outside of a comfortable driving distance, etc. It just doesn’t sound as appealing. definitely agree w/ Chelseamorning - the industry has a much smaller impact than others out there!
I don’t think it’s realistic in today’s society; people move around a lot. We don’t live in a world where you are born, grow up, and die in the same place, surrounded by everyone you know. People move around, go off to college, move some more, travel, make friends, and end up with a web of people who are important to them all over the world. And then you meet a spouse who has his or her own web! I think it’s beautiful, and I love that I have friends and family all over the world. If we had a local-only affair it would have been a very different wedding. And none of our family and many of our closest friends wouldn’t have been there. I am all about being eco-friendly, but I think there are other long-term lifestyle choices you can make that would have a much more lasting impact.
We’re doing what we can to have a “green” wedding, but there’s no way I would not invite people just because of the environmental impacts. That’s going too far and for me, defies the point of our wedding.
Also, I want to add that seeing your friends and family from all different parts of your life get to know one another is what makes weddings so wonderful. The best thing about our wedding was seeing this happen. I know there will never again be a time in our lives when we will get all of those people together again, in the same place and at the same time.
I’m glad this topic has generated some discussion! I put it out there and wasn’t sure what the response would be. I had never really heard much chatter about air transportation when it came to having a green-conscious wedding - so that was interesting. Then when I read about the webcam suggestion, it struck me as quite dramatic. I’m not gonna lie, I was pretty curious as to who would actually do this? It seems there haven’t been any “takers” yet…
Thanks everyone for sharing your opinions on the subject.
There is no way I would sacrifice having my family with us on our day. To me, that is one of the things I am looking forward to most!
We only have a handful of people coming from out of state, and they are driving. We’re planning on taking a cruise for our honeymoon, but will be goin out of Baltimore so we’re only a 20 minute drive away.
I think you’re better off cutting out all those disposable paper products and decor. Having your loved ones there is really the whole point of having a wedding, otherwise you might as well just sign the paperwork in private.
There are plenty of ways to green your wedding without sacrificing one of the most important elements — having your loved ones with you. You save up your “carbon karma” for a wedding and even a once-in-a-lifetime honeymoon, and be green the rest of the time. There are times for splurges (carbon and otherwise) in life.
I do love the environment and all but there is no way I’m sacrificing close family and friends from being at my wedding because of the carbon footprint they would leave. No way!!
We’re not sure yet if a honeymoon is in the cards for us, but if it is, it’s going to be somewhere warm and exotic, which definitely means flying to get there. Sorry but I’m not giving that up!
green, schmean
The only green at my wedding is in the floral arrangements.
I honestly don’t care about my carbon footprint. Ever.
Our wedding involves paper products, leather shoes, electricity for lights and music, meat for dinner, and a location 5 hours away from all invited. And I can’t wait!!
Wow, interesting post Mrs. Glitter! I agree with most everyone else here; I wouldn’t leave out my family in order to reduce my carbon footprint for that one day. It is a once in a lifetime experience, and I want my family and friends there to share it with me. I do love the idea of having the webcam available for those who aren’t able to attend though…that is a fabulous idea!
Interesting read indeed! I can definitely chime in with my opinion on the matter, considering half of our guests are traveling from Texas, California, New Mexico, and NYC to our Miami wedding (where I’m from and where all my family lives). We are very eco-conscious, and have tried to be as eco-friendly with as many aspects of our wedding, but not inviting my FI’s family would not be an option- for any reason. Maybe it’s just my opinion or preference, but we do what we can to be “green” within reason. I’ve even looked into donating to carbonfund.org to offset our footprint, so we’ll see what our budget looks like at the end!
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Mrs. Glitter, Los Angeles
Age and Occupation: 27, Research Consultant/Writer
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Accounting
Engagement Date: May 6, 2007
Wedding Date: June, 2009
Venue: Millenium Biltmore Hotel
About Me: I was born and raised in West Los Angeles, California. I spent eight years in the Northeast working and completing my education. Having split time between two sides of the country has given me a true appreciation for both coasts. It has also provided an overabundance of cross country drives, flights and long distance relationship fun/misery! I love my family, my doggy Emma, fabulous wine, Anthropologie, politics, reading, being outdoors, exploring new cities, and good movies! My fiance and I are complete opposites, but somehow we have managed to fall completely and hopelessly in love.
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