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Mrs. Gloss, Boston/Maine Age and Occupation: 24, Designer/soon-to-be Architect Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Systems Engineer Engagement Date: May 23, 2008 Wedding Date: August 2009 Venue: SS Katahdin/Lakeside Tent About Me: I don't like nickels or the skin that forms on pudding when it's in the fridge for too long. I couldn't live without Pantone markers, fountain soda (3/4 diet, ¼ regular Coke), run-on sentences, or ridiculously oversized sunglasses. I will try to DIY almost anything and am just OCD enough to make most of it work. I am truly excited about having all my family and friends together, becoming Mrs. Gloss, and having amazing photos to prove it!
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A Whole New Threshold…

August 7th, 2009 @ 3:33 pm by Mrs. Gloss

I get it. I finally understand how wedding budgets spiral out of control. It’s the spending threshold. After you spend $180 on a pair of jeans (even if it was a special treat/just once kind-of-deal in your mind) $90 jeans just seem like a bargain. You’ve broken into another spending category and there is no turning back.

I mean what’s another $400 when you’ve already spent $10K? I have added a ton of ’extras’ because at the time they seemed like such a small amount of money for the added benefit.

Today’s Conversation:
Oh yes, let’s upgrade those buffet plates to china since it’s more white. An off-white would ruin our table scheme. (Where is that little wedding angel that is supposed to be sitting on my shoulder saying ’NO ONE WILL NOTICE’?) It’s such a tiny fraction of the overall costs that there is no way all those extras could add up to be a lot in the end, right? :)

Oh yeah, and after I upgraded, I remembered our plates wont even be set on the tables, since we are having a buffet. $h*%!

Maybe I’ll call back tomorrow, and change our rental order yet again. I’m pretty sure they already think I’m crazy.

I don’t have a solution, and it’s too late for me anyways. But I know the problem - and that’s half the battle right?

Have you kept your wedding costs in check? What are some little things you spent money that collectively added up to big bucks?

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33 Responses to “A Whole New Threshold…”

1.
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Member
Miss Hot Sauce (message)  932 posts, Busy bee

Haha…you are so right. I even started telling myself that adding a videographer really wasn’t “that much more”!

 
2.
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Guest
gooseling

I’m pretty sure there are thousands that have been spent and unaccounted for, all those diy supplies and small details really add up, and I didn’t budget for gifts or the bridesmaid luncheon! I need to stop already!

 
3.
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Bee
Mrs. Bunny (message)  310 posts, Helper bee

SO TRUE!

 
4.
Newport Nuptials
Member
Newport Nuptials (message)  1,133 posts, Bumble bee

I’m actually really good about keeping my own wedding budget in check, but planning my sister’s shower I have totally gone way over the original budget I set. I tend to spend more on others than myself.

I’ve actually spent under what I expected for most items, other than our venue. That was a splurge! But I’m also over a year away from my wedding, so this could change completely! I feel like I’ve been reasonable with the big things, but when it coems to rehersal dinner and shower dresses, I’ll probably justify pricey outfits because “it’s for the wedding”.

 
5.
MrsSl82be
Member
MrsSl82be (message)  1,472 posts, Bumble bee

Ugh I’m in the same boat. We were going to get a free rented tux for FI but since they don’t have what we want in anything but wool, we had to buy one. Granted, it wasn’t that much and he will reuse it again, but still! I def have bride brain, always thinking but its for the wedding so I can have it….we all just need to stop.

@Miss Hot Sauce: Umm yeah I’m heading in that direction too!! Not good

 
6.
alaud41
Member
alaud41 (message)  66 posts, Worker bee

I hear you- so many things added up! Splurging on beauty products, little add ons to our videography package, a few extra specialty linens here and there, shipping costs for shoes, jewelry that I couldn’t decide on, etc. I haven’t added up the amount that we went over budget b/c of these things and never will. It would probably upset me now that the day is done and we’re pinching pennies to save for a house! :)

 
7.
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Bee
Mrs. Martini (message)  245 posts, Helper bee

omg. my hubs always had the budget in the back of my mind but i pretty much stopped keeping track halfway through the planning. we didnt go too overboard and we did try to cut as much as we could, but there came a point where i just wanted it done and i didnt really care how much it cost. we spent way more than we planned to, but i have no regrets!

 
8.
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Member
vintage2010 (message)  1,028 posts, Bumble bee

My mom just said this to me this week. We are trying to decide between spending another 1,000 on a band or just the DJ we already have hired. Mom says, “What’s another 1,000 in the big picture of what you’ve spent thus far?” Is she kidding? If we did that with everything we purchase/plan then we’d be broke for sure! LOL

 
9.
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Bee
Miss Mouse (message)  3,357 posts, Sugar bee

Oh my gosh, this exact same thing keeps happening to me! I have no idea how to reign in the spending, especially when it’s just a little here, a little there. So easy to justify at the time, but it really does add up!

 
10.
ms.pascua
Member
ms.pascua (message)  199 posts, Blushing bee

It’s been a struggle but two things have helped: Line Item Excel Workbook & “Give & Take” questioning.
In our Line Item Excel Workbook there’s one worksheet each for the venue/reception costs, the ceremony (and all the little details going into it) costs, the general wedding stuff (license, church pre-reqs, stationary), the bridal party/pre-wedding costs, & one to add all of it up. We’re technically over budget about $2K, but since we’re so many months out, we’re trying to match our savings to the added costs to cover. “Give & Take” questioning results from FI being so involved & each of us asking: so which item are we going to take the money out of? -whenever we want to spend more than we’ve budgeted. It reminds me that extra spending will cost the loss of something else if we’re going to stay in budget.

I’ll let you know if it actually worked once the wedding’s over. :)

 
11.
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Member
lavenderpug (message)  275 posts, Helper bee

i try to give myself lots of time to think about each option, which i know isn’t always a possibility for everyone (i have a 20-month engagement). at one point i was convinced, i mean absolutely convinced, that i needed organza overlays for the tables. now that some time has gone by, i realize i don’t. that also happened with calligraphy and a hair flower. if i hold back from making the purchase when i’m in a rapture over it, at some point my “who the hell is going to give a crap” gene kicks in.

 
12.
hunterstorme
Member
hunterstorme (message)  115 posts, Blushing bee

ugh, so true!

I am doing this right now with a couple of items (menus in particular) and doing the back and forth. It’s time to decide, there’s not that much time left, and my general rule of LIFE is: if you have doubts, don’t do it. I guess my menus are out :( (”but it’s only 50 buuuuuucks….” says my wedding devil)

 
13.
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Bee
Miss Moonbeam (message)  1,335 posts, Bumble bee

All I can say is ‘it’s so hard’, you’re just out and about and you see something that would just be perfect, so you pick it up. Problem is, you’re out and about, in the big wide world, thinking (mostly) about the wedding for months. eek

 
14.
Karma007
Member
Karma007 (message)  384 posts, Helper bee

Paper products. Our wedding is so small, we didn’t even really NEED invites, but $250 later…now I’ve discovered vistaprint for info letters that our whopping 20 guests don’t really need, but it would be so cute…

 
15.
Miss French Bulldog
Bee
Miss French Bulldog (message)  6,077 posts, Bee Keeper

Those little things have added up to very little money in Miss Frenchie’s bank account :-/ I’m with yah!

 
16.
honeymyheart
Member
honeymyheart (message)  763 posts, Busy bee

i am right there with you! we somehow tricked ourselves into thinking spending a few hundred is a bargain since some things are a few thousand. i think now that our wedding is closer, we have just stopped purchasing things.

 
17.
Charm bracelet
Member
Charm bracelet (message)  827 posts, Busy bee

If your sentence includes ” but it’s only ____” then you probably weren’t planning on buying it, but the “deal” looks so good. I try really hard not buy anything on a whim….but I will admit it is very hard.

 
18.
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Member
iswimibikeirun (message)  511 posts, Busy bee

The “give and take” really sounds like a great way to keep it all in perspective!

 
19.
Hayley
Member
Hayley (message)  214 posts, Helper bee

i got my $150 wedding shoes in the mail yesterday….and bought $224 kate spades today. for the rehearsal.

 
20.
ScotIrishGirl
Member
ScotIrishGirl (message)  307 posts, Helper bee

Ugh! I completely agree! I have always been very thrifty and reasonable and a ‘no, I think I’ll save this for something larger down the road’- type of girl; but now it’s like, ‘oh I need this and it’s ONLY $250! great!’ What have I become!?

 
21.
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Member
nybride09 (message)  888 posts, Busy bee

that’s true.. i’m keeping a running budget of all the expenses… i mean ALL. i’d love to keep total overruns to 10%… hoping that helps keep a lid on things!

 
22.
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Bee
Miss Labrador (message)  1,325 posts, Bumble bee

I totally hear ya! I have to write EVERY. LITTLE. PURCHASE. down to keep myself in check. I simply can’t go overboard.

 
23.
BeachyBride2010
Member
BeachyBride2010 (message)  319 posts, Helper bee

So easy to allow this to get out of control… for me, it’s the OOT bags… seriously, way too much money spent on them! I didn’t purchase shoes yet… can’t find the perfect ones yet, yes, it’s a budget thing. I don’t realllllly need to spend $$$ on shoes. Butttt…

 
24.
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Member
runningbee (message)  218 posts, Helper bee

totally unrelated to your post, but I found this tonight and thought of your tent plans:
http://www.stylemepretty.com/2009/08/06/inspiration-board-7/

 
25.
LLauRRa
Hostess
LLauRRa (message)  843 posts, Busy bee

Suprisingly, as I’ve researched, and got deals, and DIYed, I’ve got our total budget down… by 33%!! We lowered our wedding budget because of ways I was finding to save $$! I’ve had deciding what was most important to me, and I couldn’t skimp on, versus things I could get cheaper and no one would notice, or things I could make for 1/2 the price of just buying one, etc. I’m not saying we’re not still spending a pretty penny, but I am really proud of how I’ve managed to pull off some really nice things for our wedding for amazing prices. There is just always another option that is better, so if you are willing to look, you may just be suprised at what you find… is my mentality.

 
26.
Lillindy
Hostess
Lillindy (message)  4,275 posts, Honey bee

This is so true! And also part of the reason we honestly aren’t even sure how much our wedding cost…oops! :)

 
27.
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Guest
Mamaof2brides

Both of my daughters were given a budget and we proportioned what each category (dress, reception, flowers, music,etc.) should get. Then they used the give and take method to keep things in check. Whatever they were able to save, we gave them as a cash gift after the wedding. Both got pretty generous checks. Knowing what they had to work with from the beginning was very important. I can see how it would get out of hand quickly otherwise.

 
28.
ChiDIY
Member
ChiDIY (message)  92 posts, Worker bee

IT’S SO HARD! We have gone from “small, fun, casual, affordable” wedding with a 12k budget to “small, fun, casual, totally unreasonably priced” wedding with a budget of 20k! I guess I just didnt realize how much a wedding cost… oops!

 
29.
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Member
coralray24 (message)  173 posts, Blushing bee

very very true…while we haven’t gone crazy there are a few little things that come up…where you could make it just a little bit nicer for an extra 100 bucks here or there…it is frustrating seeing the creep.

 
30.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Bruschetta (message)  5,553 posts, Bee Keeper

Sister Bruschetta’s been jumping in as my on-the-shoulder wedding angel to keep my control freak-ness in check. Hope you aren’t stressing TOO much about the little things!

 
31.
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Member
ladolcevita (message)  8 posts, Newbee

Thank you so much for posting this, Miss Gloss. When I first started planning, the cost nearly made me sick to my stomach. Now, I’m saying “what’s another $2,000 for photography”. I tried to categorize the “really important stuff”, but can’t seem to scrimp on anything!

 
32.
Guest Icon
Guest
Freddy

Know the feeling. We had originally planned our wedding to be under $30k but it just spiraled out of control. Somehow the bride-to-be ended up with a dress that itself cost $15k, and our overall bill is somewhere between $100 and $120k. It’s a destination wedding in Italy and so a large chunk of that bill is flying in family who otherwise wouldn’t be able to make it, but it’s really quite staggering to spend 4x what you were originally planning. The wedding is in a couple weeks and I’m doing my best to feel good about it but everytime I think about the cost I just feel sick. Frankly we can afford it - it won’t break the bank - but there are just so many other things you can do with such a large sum of money.

 
33.
KatieBug3017
Member
KatieBug3017 (message)  1,434 posts, Bumble bee

Oh I am right there with you…that threshold is a slippery slope! I never spent money on shoes for the longest time, and then I started my obsession with Nordstrom…and my average shoe purchase jumped from $30 to $100…gahhh not good! I am hoping that I can keep it in check for the wedding spending…ack!

 


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Mrs. Gloss Mrs. Gloss, Boston/Maine Age and Occupation: 24, Designer/soon-to-be Architect Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Systems Engineer Engagement Date: May 23, 2008 Wedding Date: August 2009 Venue: SS Katahdin/Lakeside Tent About Me: I don't like nickels or the skin that forms on pudding when it's in the fridge for too long. I couldn't live without Pantone markers, fountain soda (3/4 diet, ¼ regular Coke), run-on sentences, or ridiculously oversized sunglasses. I will try to DIY almost anything and am just OCD enough to make most of it work. I am truly excited about having all my family and friends together, becoming Mrs. Gloss, and having amazing photos to prove it!
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