To Boutonniere or Not to Boutonniere?

After spotting this beautiful wedding on Once Wed a little while ago, I’ve considered throwing out the boutonniere idea altogether. Though, they can be potentially quite fun and quirky like this groom’s boutonniere:


Look how clean cut this groom looks in just his suit with his beautiful bride beside him. The tie clip across the skinny tie and hint of a handkerchief in his pocket finish off the polished look.

I think it’s the fact that that boutonnieres scream WEDDING that I am a little weary of them. I know that may sound weird to some, but I’m just not really that interested in all the ‘traditional’ elements. And I think this couple proves that simple can be stunning.

Are you opting out of boutonierres? What are some bout alternatives that you’ve seen out there?


Mrs. Lightning

Cape Town
Wedding Date:
September 2009
The Trend I Love
A "Jarring" Experience

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  1. bruschetta Member
    bruschetta 5565 posts, Bee Keeper @ 2:04 pm

    We’ll be bout-less! I’m leaving it up to the mister if he uses an ivory pocket square…and if so, we’d do black (on black, so yeah, not too noticeable!) for the groomsmen.

  2. Member
    august15bride 1667 posts, Bumble bee @ 2:06 pm

    No bouts for us! Well, just for the dads and the ushers. My groom adamently did not want one, and didnt want one for his groomsmen either. Fine by me!

  3. Member
    WDWBride 743 posts, Busy bee @ 2:07 pm

    Oh I never thought about it but I kinda like the idea of no bout!!! Thanks!!

  4. Member
    mxf05b 27 posts, Newbee @ 2:09 pm

    We are not planning on using boutonnieres for the guys. I think that the groom in the above pictures looks great without one!

  5. labrador Member
    labrador 1823 posts, Buzzing bee @ 2:11 pm

    I bought some $.10 bouts at a craft store I might try to jazz up. But if they don’t work out, no bouts for me!

  6. Member
    Miss Disney 205 posts, Helper bee @ 2:11 pm

    we were not going to use boutonniers for the guys until my FI saw a picture of a simple starfish more or less just pinned to the black tux.

    Since our colors are blue and yellow already and taking place on a cruise we thought that using a natural starfish would look look (sorta yellow-very beachy) so we did a little DIY- starfish+pin+hot glue=simple bout!

  7. Member
    redbullfanatic 489 posts, Helper bee @ 2:12 pm

    The fiance said no bout at all…he refuses to wear a flower. Fine by me…saves us money!

  8. Member
    anvil_chick 387 posts, Helper bee @ 2:18 pm

    we are going without boutonnieres. my fiance is the only guy wearing a jacket and he has an awesome pocket squar he will be sporting.

    why pay more money for things that will not last.

  9. Member
    lauralou852 516 posts, Busy bee @ 2:21 pm

    I just asked my FI today if he would care if the guys didn’t have boutonnieres and he said he liked the idea of pocket squares instead. Cheaper and easier to make! :)

  10. Member
    AnnieAtMarryYouMe 25 posts, Newbee @ 2:28 pm

    I like a small bout – I featured a real wedding today on my blog with a single small red flower, and I loved the simple look of it. I feel like no bout is a little too plain.

  11. argyle Member
    argyle 2519 posts, Sugar bee @ 2:30 pm

    I love that you posted about this. I just did on my blog not too long ago. We are not doing bouts, as neither me or the FI really have a desire to have our guys where them. I don’t think they’ll be missed, but I do love that places like Etsy are featuring creative alternatives!

  12. Member
    eileen marie 1644 posts, Bumble bee @ 2:32 pm

    I kinda like the no boutonniere looks, but I definitely wanted to honor our GMs. We made all of the bouts with red & white roses & greenery (eucalyptus, etc) from Costco & guinea feathers from Etsy. They were actually more of a pain than the bouquets, but I loved the simple, clean look of what my BM created.

  13. Member
    Gator 607 posts, Busy bee @ 2:34 pm

    I’m a fan of tuxes without the boutonniere, I don’t think they’ll be missed at all! (Or in your budget!)

  14. Member
    honeymyheart 764 posts, Busy bee @ 2:36 pm

    we are opting for a boutonniere since i love fresh flowers. but we considered the option of pocket squares.

  15. Member
    Champagne Wishes 1187 posts, Bumble bee @ 2:42 pm

    I have seen some intense bouts lately which has turned me off a bit from them. I love the look without the boutonniere so that might be something to consider. Thanks for posting!!

  16. Member
    Jenniphyr 3426 posts, Sugar bee @ 2:53 pm

    We may or may not do a bout. If we do, it’ll be just the groom, and it’ll be a single daisy tucked into his breast pocket to match my daisy crown.

  17. Member
    tessabella76 3143 posts, Sugar bee @ 2:55 pm

    We are going to something simple. But I like the idea of no boutonnieres.

  18. Member
    Miss.Swede 46 posts, Newbee @ 3:07 pm

    My fiancee wants something unique and since our STD are concert/music themed we are thinking of doing something with a guitar or since he is from Sweden and loves hockey maybe a little hockey stick.

  19. perfume Member
    perfume 82 posts, Worker bee @ 3:13 pm

    i love that wedding from OnceWed! seems like we have the same taste. And on that note, I agree with you on the bout. Simple can be stunning!

  20. mouse Member
    Mrs. Mouse 5761 posts, Bee Keeper @ 3:14 pm

    Interesting thought! I’m all for bucking tradition, and that groom looks quite nice. :)

  21. Member
    bellanottebelle 15 posts, Newbee @ 3:24 pm

    I showed them to my boyfriend the other night, and he loved the lego one and how non-traditional it is. Plus, it’s a way for his personality to shine through while wearing a suit.

  22. Member
    tea 2414 posts, Buzzing bee @ 3:34 pm

    i’ve been seeing the bout-less weddings and i’m liking it the more i see it. i’m seriously considering it myself!

  23. Member
    Mrs.pinkblossoms 90 posts, Worker bee @ 3:48 pm

    I’ve been torn with this one…I liked the thought of no bouts (maybe for the dads though) and using pocket squares..but our florist insists it looks “classic” My fiance could care less either way..but we will see =)

  24. Member
    Mrs. DG 8491 posts, Bumble Beekeeper @ 4:02 pm

    We did feathers and leaves. Very simple, very clean, and in keeping with our vintage glam look. Added side bonus is that they don’t get crushed with the myriad hugs.

    I think bout-less would be great too. I’m all for something different!

  25. Guest Icon Guest
    SaraRules, Guest @ 5:54 pm

    We are doing bouts, but they are a little bit different. They are simply a line of flowers that go in the pocket, so it looks like a pocket square made out of flowers. I think it’s a nice mix of a little bit traditional, and a little bit modern.

  26. Member
    MsHymanRoth 2434 posts, Buzzing bee @ 6:11 pm

    My fiance refuses to wear one. At first my mother was going to “make” him … but she has backed down. LOL I don’t really care either way … but I think my dad might want one … not sure .. hmmm

  27. Guest Icon Guest
    Anita, Guest @ 6:21 pm

    I’m not even having a bouquet! The only flowers at my wedding are going to be in the centerpieces. We’re getting my fiance and his groomsmen matching ties and pocket squares. I think it will look cute

  28. moonbeam Member
    moonbeam 1711 posts, Bumble bee @ 6:27 pm

    Ooh, yet another option, and potentially something to cross off of a list. Exciting!

  29. Member
    kmattso2 1046 posts, Bumble bee @ 6:50 pm

    I’ve never really thought about not doing bouts….but I guess when I think about it they’re really not necessary. Maybe I’ll wait and see what kind of tuxes the guys get and just do pocket squares. That could work!

  30. Member
    staceyb 262 posts, Helper bee @ 8:32 pm

    no boutonnieres in our wedding! my mom made the ring bearer’s pillow/flower girl sash/ring bearer’s tie, and she made pocket squares out of the same fabric. my husband said no way, he didn’t want flowers, and that was fine with me. :)

  31. Member
    KateMW 2704 posts, Sugar bee @ 9:02 pm

    I’m not sure what we’ll do. How’s attire is the farthest thing from my mind right now. Poor kid.

  32. Guest Icon Guest
    Amelia, Guest @ 7:23 am

    We’re doing away with boutonieres. My fiance could care less, so will the groomsmen, and it is one of our budget savers. It’s just one more thing to worry about and get in the way. We’re also doing away with flowers for the aunts because we have so many of them.

  33. Guest Icon Guest
    Alisha, Guest @ 10:01 am

    no boutonnieres for me! I think they’re kind of, well, silly really. And they’ll get in the way. And do guys actually want to wear flowers? I think I remember you saying you’re not all about having tons of flowers anyway, so maybe canceling this part of them, too wouldn’t be such a bad idea.

  34. Member
    mrspaetz 3812 posts, Honey bee @ 10:15 am

    nope! we went floral-free, so no bouquets for me, no bouts for him/groomsmen.

    we used friendship flag pins instead on his lapel and on my clutch purse — we’re from 2 different countries — and we LOVED how it went with our travel theme!

  35. lightning Member
    lightning 135 posts, Blushing bee @ 1:06 pm

    @anvil_chick: oooh I’d love to see this awesome pocket square!!

    @WorstTwinEver15: There is a cool etsy alternative for everything…. ahhh if only etsy was in my reach… sigh

    @Miss.Swede: Have you seen the crazy cool bouts by Fritts Rosenow’s Bespoke Boutonnieres? They have a guitar/plectrum bout I’d have totally given to Mr Lightning if we hadn’t decided to go sans bout. I’m pretty sure they have sport themed ones too. You MUST check them out here

    @Anita: We’re also doing matching ties, skinny black ties to be exact :)

    @mrspaetz: A travel theme sounds so wonderful. Me and Mr Lightning arealso from two different countries :)

  36. Member
    peachesandtulips 408 posts, Helper bee @ 1:13 pm

    I love that bout-less groom’s look! And I agree, they’re so wedding-y that I’m kind of put off by them. But the boy wants to wear one so I’ll just let him and his groomsmen decide!

  37. msbuttons Member
    msbuttons 5014 posts, Bee Keeper @ 1:43 pm

    I like the idea of having more “masculine” bouts…my guys’ are going to have berries/leaves instead of flowers.

  38. Member
    hana 35 posts, Newbee @ 10:17 pm

    I also loved that wedding on OnceWed!

  39. Guest Icon Guest
    Una, Guest @ 6:45 am

    So I’m going to throw in my two cents on this one. Bouts are NOT a required thing (although I’ve been seeing some wonderful manly men ones as of late. Even the hubby has taken an interest), but have you ever wondered why so many men’s suits (including tuxes) have Button Holes? They’re not there to be a hole on a suit lapel, they’re meant for a single, proper, and dashing blossom, that tells the woman he is wooing how he feels about her, or what his betrothal state (engaged, married) is. Victorian Flower Speak or more properly Floriography, was truly a wonderful way of young couples to communicate without saying a word and alarming their elders but could also be used to show wrath, hatred, and bitterness…BTW, Yellow Roses do NOT stand for friendship, they stand for Jealousy (in the later years florists professed it to mean Joy and Friendship because brides wanted yellow roses, but didn’t like what they meant) but one yellow rose with eleven red roses means love and passion.

    Anyway, a dashing, stylish gentleman would always wear a single flower in their button hole. There is even a flower called Bachelor Buttons which stand for celibacy and single blessedness.

    All that being said, a simple blossom for the groom and that flower or herb incorporated into your bouquet that means something special to the both of you, is a precious way for you to have a beautiful connection that is simply for the two of you. Plus, a well dressed man wouldn’t be caught dead without a button hole blossom and a coordinating pocket square.

    My hubby and I of 16 years are already planning our 20th Anniversary, totally over the top, bash for 50 of our nearest and dearest in a castle in Northern Scotland. One ceremony we’re going to have is to request our loved ones as families or singles to present a written poem, a written memory, a funny story penned down, or anything that’s presented to us from their hearts. (we want them written…it could be written on toilet paper for all we care, we just need to be able to mount it.) At the end of their presentation, my sweety and I are going to present each and every one of them with a flower/herb posey with a hand made booklet explaining Floriography and what their particular posey means, because they will all be different.

    I wish Flower Speak/Floriography would come back into style. How cool is it that you could give someone a gorgeous Hydrangea which informs the recipient that they are heartless and frigid?! *Les Sighs* I have nothing against hydrangeas, but they are the “new” baby’s breath and I think they charge far too much for it and then use it as filler. I guess it’s a fairly safe bet that you’ve figured out I was a Horticulture Major before working in the wedding industry for 6 years.

    Oh, before I forget, blue or white Scabiosa (terrible name, I know!) make WONDERFUL button hole flowers or a few sprigs of lavender or rosemary (which smell wonderful when “crushed” by huggers. Buy 2 or 3 blossoms so he’ll have a fresh button flower for all your pictures and that should cost no more than a few bucks, more if your groomsmen/ushers have a contrasting color. For the price of 1 Bout, you can getcher flower power on for the whole male party (dad’s and gramps included)

    I hope this helpd by giving you a new perspective on bouts.

  40. Member
    MrsJMLtoBe 27 posts, Newbee @ 7:25 am

    We’ve decided to go sans bout too, mostly to save us money, and b/c my fiance wanted something different than his guys (he wanted a red rose, instead of white, but there is no red in the wedding… didnt make much sense), so NO BOUT FOR THE DUDES.
    I’m not even getting them for his father… Just him :-)

  41. Member
    allsevenofus 33 posts, Newbee @ 8:40 am

    We will be doing bouts, but not flowers- I am thinking simple cockades.

  42. Guest Icon Guest
    Lisa, Guest @ 10:31 am

    I’m getting married in July and see no purpose behind the boutonnieres. I’ve read why they were worn in the 1700s, but they’re no longer worn to ward off evil spirits and I don’t care too much about tradition. It’s a waste of money, and even though I know they’re not expensive, why pay for them when they’re going to be worn for a couple hours then thrown in the trash??

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