When I was a child, my first name was the bane of my existence.
People kept adding extra syllables to it. Or realizing that the last syllable of my name rhymes with “sneeze”.
I tried to correct the people who actually meant to say my name properly, but it would only work for a few days at a time. Then they would inevitably segue back into some horrible bastardization.
Of course, I was far too embarrassed to correct them a second time. This meant that some of my childhood friends said my name wrong for years. Um, okay, it’s possible they still do.
So, yes, I was an adult before I came to terms with having a super-unusual name. But now I kind of like it. It’s not like I’ll ever run into anyone else in the room with the same name. And I get to be a little bit mysterious, which is kind of fun.
It also goes together rather well with my last name. Together, my whole name sounds pretty solidly Indian (although my first name is not really an Indian name but a derivation of Persian name).
I never considered changing my last name at all until I got engaged. Now I’m still pretty lukewarm about the idea.
My first name and Mr. DD’s very American-sounding last name just sound funny together. And I’m really not ready to go back to having name angst.
Besides that, my last name feels like an essential part of my identity. I don’t think I’ll feel quite like myself if I change it. I grew up with this name. I became a lawyer with this name.
And, anyway, this whole getting married thing already has me confused enough about who I am. Avoiding more confusion can only be a good thing.
Yes, Mr. DD would like it better if I took his name. But he knows I don’t want to. And he’s been really understanding about it. He’s not going to pressure me.
As for our future children, yes, I’ll have a different last name than they do. I don’t think this is a big deal. I’ve had friends whose mothers kept their maiden names. They turned out pretty okay.
So what about you? How do you feel about your name? And how do you feel about changing it?