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Répondez s’il vous plaît - pretty please? Saturday was a big day - the RSVP deadline. After an initial burst of little red envelopes popping up in our mailbox, there came a lull. We received a single envelope here, none there, two the next day. On Saturday we received six. This brings our grand total to around 30, or just under half. Now, some of these guests (like certain members of a certain someone’s bridal party and family) have not yet responded, but I know they are coming, so all is well. But I’d still like to see that RSVP card I worked so hard on to find its way into my mailbox!
I also discovered yesterday that the hotel rooms we held for our guests are only held for 10 more days. That means if I want to give people a few days leeway to respond, I simultaneously let late responders risk not having a hotel room to stay in. Apparently the rooms we blocked off are the only ones left unbooked. I never realized our hold on the rooms would disappear 4-5 weeks before the wedding date. *Note to fellow brides - ask about this!* Luckily, we didn’t follow the rule of asking guests to RSVP by 3 or 4 weeks prior to the wedding. We went with 5 weeks and gave them 3-4 weeks to respond. Had we made it 3-4 weeks prior to our date, I might not have even realized about the lapse date and would have been harassing people to respond with no hotel room to offer them, anyway. At least now I can make one phone call about the hotels and give folks a gentle nudging to commit to a yes or no.
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Who knows why it’s hard for some to commit and drop that tiny envelope into the mail. Checking the box “yes or no” should be easy… just ask your nearest grade schooler. Sadly, I too have fallen into the late responder category. This was mostly due to not being sure if I could swing the plane ticket and hotel, although that was not the best excuse. At least we have five weeks to go, so I’m not going to even think about panicking or getting myself ready for a phone-a-thon yet. I’m sure that may come, but I’ve poised myself to prevent it as best I can.
What percentage of your guests would you say DID NOT RSVP by your specified date? Did any never RSVP?! Did they show up anyway?
I hear ya, sister! 86 out of 180-something didn’t respond. I got on the horn THE NEXT DAY. Obnoxious? Maybe. But equally as obnoxious as taking 5 weeks to NOT respond. Btw, it is common practice for hotels to release your room block 4-5 wks before your wedding. They simply can’t hold that many rooms & risk not renting them at all. I’m glad you found out-a good excuse to call people.
Our date is 11 days away. I have only 19 response cards back of the 68 invitations we sent out. Some people think because they told us they’re coming, they don’t need to send the dang card back. SEND IT BACK, OMG!
I am in the same boat. My RSVP date was two weeks ago. A little over half RSVP’ed - some assumed because they weren’t coming they didn’t need to send it back???? Also some thought we knew they were coming so they didn’t send it back (how am I supposed to know what your eatting - like I have nothing better to do than to take your order- sorry I digress)Needless to say I ended up begging to send it back-
goodness my psychic powers don’t work that well 
I’m sorry you have to deal with this! Even for my engagement party, there were people we had to email a couple of times to see whether or not they were coming. It’s such a hassle! I always make sure to RSVP and check all applicable boxes! Sheesh!
We lucked out in that about 90% of the responses came back before or just shortly after the respond by date, but even then I was stressing about getting a definitive answer as soon as I could. I just wanted to know!
Oh, no! I hope they get back to you soon, or at least are able to give you an answer if you have to contact them. We did have several not respond with the cards but just let us know — both YES and NO — I call these the people in need of a free stamp!
Almost all of our guests RSVPd but the ones that didn’t, good lord what a pain to get an answer! A simple yes or no is all I ask for people! Good luck on your other half!
I had no idea there was a general lack of responses for RSVPs! This makes me sacred. I haven’t sent out my invites yet, but this is good to keep in perspective.
I think only 55% of our RSVPs were in on time. A bunch came in the following 3-4 days. After that big rush, my FMIL & I started contacting people. It only took a couple days to get the rest. Don’t worry, once you call people they usually have just misplaced it briefly, or forgot…they always feel bad!
ugh so irritating…Our deadline was August 15 and we’re still missing about 30…mostly his mom’s friends, etc. She called one and they actually said “what day is it??? Ill have to check my calendar..” because that couldnt be done in the last FOUR WEEKS YOU HAD IT?! Seriously, why is it so difficult?!?!
plenty of my aunts are telling my mom they will attend, but not sending rsvps back. i don’t know why they do this. i’m ready to call everyone if i don’t receive anything a few days after our deadline.
I treat wedding invitations like ticking time bombs and get them out the door about a second after I see it in the mailbox. I just imagine the poor bride staring at her mailbox trying to plan such a large event!
I know this will happen to me too, I’m going to allow a lot of time and be prepared with everyone’s phone #’s. Good luck!
Out of 121 invites, we have gotten 70 back with another week and a half to go before our deadline… I am just surprised who the biggest “late RSVP offenders” have been… our closest friends and my coworkers! Hello, I see you weekly, if not daily… hand the darn thing to me if it is so much of an effort to put it in the mailbox! Grrr… 
my sister had people not rsvp and show up and rsvp and not show up, both of which i found kind of annoying which meant we had to scramble for chairs, and spaces at tables. its so much less of a hassle just to mark the card then to be stuck standing around while we try to find a space for you- i mean they gave you the stamp, the envelope and the card. (this is a slight pet peeve of mine.)
100% of our late RSVPs (or repondez-not-at-alls) were no’s. And they were all cases where I kind of assumed they wouldn’t be coming, I was just waiting for confirmation of that.
My FI had our friends invite mailed to him, and I never even saw it. He told the groom we were going one day while they were fishing and never sent it. He never sent in the RSVP because according to him, he’d already told the groom.
I’d call people, if I were you. Is it improper etiquette to call?
We actually sent around email and text reminders to people who were about to miss our RSVP deadline — so only about one or two couples actually totally missed the date. Sooooo frustrating, though!
We are two weeks out (we set the deadline for a few days over a month from our wedding). We have probably just under half of our RSVPs. I’m hopeful people can send them in before September 1, but I know that’s not going to be the case. The ones that really irk me are the family and bridal party members who you know are coming. What gives?
I’m hoping we don’t have to beg too! hehe or else I’ll be after them!
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Mrs. Sunbeam, San Francisco/Grove City, PA Age and Occupation: 26, Grad Student & Office Manager Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, Motion Designer Engagement Date: May 10, 2008 Wedding Date: September 2009 Venue: Harbison Chapel & The Maple Lane Farm About Me: Mr. Sunbeam and I are high school sweethearts. We both come from a small town in PA but are growing to love the California lifestyle. He loves wine and I love cheese... the perfect combination! When I'm not drooling over wedding blogs, I'm attending grad school, out being a foodie, or attempting to "walk" our cat at the park. Two things guaranteed to excite me are wedding cakes and breaking out my suitcase to travel. Mr. Sunbeam and I are personalizing our hometown wedding to celebrate our high school sweetheart status and PA roots with a few CA touches. After ten years of dating we couldn't be more excited to call each other husband and wife!
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