Wedding Blog
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Répondez s’il vous plaît - pretty please? Saturday was a big day - the RSVP deadline. After an initial burst of little red envelopes popping up in our mailbox, there came a lull. We received a single envelope here, none there, two the next day. On Saturday we received six. This brings our grand total to around 30, or just under half. Now, some of these guests (like certain members of a certain someone’s bridal party and family) have not yet responded, but I know they are coming, so all is well. But I’d still like to see that RSVP card I worked so hard on to find its way into my mailbox!
I also discovered yesterday that the hotel rooms we held for our guests are only held for 10 more days. That means if I want to give people a few days leeway to respond, I simultaneously let late responders risk not having a hotel room to stay in. Apparently the rooms we blocked off are the only ones left unbooked. I never realized our hold on the rooms would disappear 4-5 weeks before the wedding date. *Note to fellow brides - ask about this!* Luckily, we didn’t follow the rule of asking guests to RSVP by 3 or 4 weeks prior to the wedding. We went with 5 weeks and gave them 3-4 weeks to respond. Had we made it 3-4 weeks prior to our date, I might not have even realized about the lapse date and would have been harassing people to respond with no hotel room to offer them, anyway. At least now I can make one phone call about the hotels and give folks a gentle nudging to commit to a yes or no.
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Who knows why it’s hard for some to commit and drop that tiny envelope into the mail. Checking the box “yes or no” should be easy… just ask your nearest grade schooler. Sadly, I too have fallen into the late responder category. This was mostly due to not being sure if I could swing the plane ticket and hotel, although that was not the best excuse. At least we have five weeks to go, so I’m not going to even think about panicking or getting myself ready for a phone-a-thon yet. I’m sure that may come, but I’ve poised myself to prevent it as best I can.
What percentage of your guests would you say DID NOT RSVP by your specified date? Did any never RSVP?! Did they show up anyway?
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Share this post: RSVP- Don’t Make Us Beg.
I hear ya, sister! 86 out of 180-something didn’t respond. I got on the horn THE NEXT DAY. Obnoxious? Maybe. But equally as obnoxious as taking 5 weeks to NOT respond. Btw, it is common practice for hotels to release your room block 4-5 wks before your wedding. They simply can’t hold that many rooms & risk not renting them at all. I’m glad you found out-a good excuse to call people.
Our date is 11 days away. I have only 19 response cards back of the 68 invitations we sent out. Some people think because they told us they’re coming, they don’t need to send the dang card back. SEND IT BACK, OMG!
I am in the same boat. My RSVP date was two weeks ago. A little over half RSVP’ed - some assumed because they weren’t coming they didn’t need to send it back???? Also some thought we knew they were coming so they didn’t send it back (how am I supposed to know what your eatting - like I have nothing better to do than to take your order- sorry I digress)Needless to say I ended up begging to send it back-
goodness my psychic powers don’t work that well 
I’m sorry you have to deal with this! Even for my engagement party, there were people we had to email a couple of times to see whether or not they were coming. It’s such a hassle! I always make sure to RSVP and check all applicable boxes! Sheesh!
We lucked out in that about 90% of the responses came back before or just shortly after the respond by date, but even then I was stressing about getting a definitive answer as soon as I could. I just wanted to know!
Oh, no! I hope they get back to you soon, or at least are able to give you an answer if you have to contact them. We did have several not respond with the cards but just let us know — both YES and NO — I call these the people in need of a free stamp!
Almost all of our guests RSVPd but the ones that didn’t, good lord what a pain to get an answer! A simple yes or no is all I ask for people! Good luck on your other half!
I had no idea there was a general lack of responses for RSVPs! This makes me sacred. I haven’t sent out my invites yet, but this is good to keep in perspective.
I think only 55% of our RSVPs were in on time. A bunch came in the following 3-4 days. After that big rush, my FMIL & I started contacting people. It only took a couple days to get the rest. Don’t worry, once you call people they usually have just misplaced it briefly, or forgot…they always feel bad!
ugh so irritating…Our deadline was August 15 and we’re still missing about 30…mostly his mom’s friends, etc. She called one and they actually said “what day is it??? Ill have to check my calendar..” because that couldnt be done in the last FOUR WEEKS YOU HAD IT?! Seriously, why is it so difficult?!?!
plenty of my aunts are telling my mom they will attend, but not sending rsvps back. i don’t know why they do this. i’m ready to call everyone if i don’t receive anything a few days after our deadline.
I treat wedding invitations like ticking time bombs and get them out the door about a second after I see it in the mailbox. I just imagine the poor bride staring at her mailbox trying to plan such a large event!
I know this will happen to me too, I’m going to allow a lot of time and be prepared with everyone’s phone #’s. Good luck!
Out of 121 invites, we have gotten 70 back with another week and a half to go before our deadline… I am just surprised who the biggest “late RSVP offenders” have been… our closest friends and my coworkers! Hello, I see you weekly, if not daily… hand the darn thing to me if it is so much of an effort to put it in the mailbox! Grrr… 
my sister had people not rsvp and show up and rsvp and not show up, both of which i found kind of annoying which meant we had to scramble for chairs, and spaces at tables. its so much less of a hassle just to mark the card then to be stuck standing around while we try to find a space for you- i mean they gave you the stamp, the envelope and the card. (this is a slight pet peeve of mine.)
100% of our late RSVPs (or repondez-not-at-alls) were no’s. And they were all cases where I kind of assumed they wouldn’t be coming, I was just waiting for confirmation of that.
My FI had our friends invite mailed to him, and I never even saw it. He told the groom we were going one day while they were fishing and never sent it. He never sent in the RSVP because according to him, he’d already told the groom.
I’d call people, if I were you. Is it improper etiquette to call?
We actually sent around email and text reminders to people who were about to miss our RSVP deadline — so only about one or two couples actually totally missed the date. Sooooo frustrating, though!
We are two weeks out (we set the deadline for a few days over a month from our wedding). We have probably just under half of our RSVPs. I’m hopeful people can send them in before September 1, but I know that’s not going to be the case. The ones that really irk me are the family and bridal party members who you know are coming. What gives?
I’m hoping we don’t have to beg too! hehe or else I’ll be after them!
OMG, do not get me started on this! My final headcount is due tomorrow, and the RSVP deadline was a week ago, but we still have a handful of people that did not RSVP or even bother to respond to emails, texts, or facebook messages asking if they were going to make it!
I had 83 people not RSVP! ARGH! I had to go stalk and harass the stragglers whose information I did have.
One person had the gall to RSVP 7 days before the wedding. Thanks, my caterer will be happy to re-do everything for you and your girlfriend!
Yeah, still a few days until the wedding, hence the “kill everyone” attitude!
Jess, wow, 83 people?! Husband and I were talking about why people don’t bother to RSVP and he thinks that people our parents’ generation don’t think it’s that important because in their time weddings probably weren’t as heavily planned as they are today.
I just don’t understand how someone can’t be bothered with mailing in a pre-stamped envelope or postcard.
We had a lot of RSVPs come in after the deadline. Like others have said, many of them were our closest family and friends (who we knew would be there…after all, they were in the wedding party). It got annoying, but I actually never had to get on the phone and harrass anyone. I’d say wait a week. A lot of our missing ones came in about a week late. Hope that helps. Good luck - I feel your pain
@budgetbeautiful: At least the people who did that to me were nice enough to ask if that could count as their RSVP and haven’t assumed. But yeah, I’m getting married August 28th and don’t have nearly enough back. It seems from all the comments that RSVP is a universal problem. May we all raise our children to be better mannered!
We just got our final RSVP, 3 WEEKS AFTER the wedding… hehe… We had to do a lot of calling around to get a final count… and still couldn’t get RSVP’s from some.
We received an invite to a wedding while we were on our Honeymoon. So when we collected our mail and went through it it all got pushed to the side to deal with later. I was so worried I’d missed the deadline but got it in just in time
By our deadline, we had around half. We waited five days, and then started calling all of the slackers. It was such a pain!
You’d think this would be an easy thing to accomplish. However, I will admit, that I often push them away as a member of the close family/bridal party/etc. I’m learning more and more exactly how frustrating that is. Lets hope none of my friends/family try striking me back with this one!
Eeek, we still have a month till our deadline, but I know this will happen to us. We did online RSVPs and people still won’t do it. I was afraid it would be all my family, but they have started to respond. Our hotel releases the rooms TWO months before the date - coming up very soon! My mom offered a long time ago to call the non-responders, but she is a big procrastinator, so I’ll probably be doing most of it myself.
i e-mailed a really nice note to everyone on the list reminding them to send it back and also letting them know that the hotel was booked. it worked - i got a lot back. to this day (my wedding is in 11 days) there are still folks who haven’t sent it back. i ended up getting some rsvps over e-mail and just begging individuals. i would never miss a deadline for something like this - i don’t get it!
Ugh, I’m hating the RSVP lull…it was so exciting at first, but now it’s down right depressing to only get 1 RSVP in the mail, if that! Fortunately, we have a week and a half left before the deadline…fingers crossed!
Good luck wrangling those extra RSVPs!
My RSVP Deadline was Friday, and I am still missing 17 RSVP’s - that works out to 34 people! I mean, seriously! Two of those rsvp cards are for people who told other friends they won’t be coming, and that’s just fine. But really - I sent you the card, I paid for the postage, I even addressed it for you. Please, please, please just check regret and put it in the mail. Then it can find it’s way into my pile and I can check you off!
I feel your pain! We sent out invitations out a week ago…so I know it hasn’t been that long, but I just wish people would open it, say yes or no, and send the darn things back!
I’m planning to harass RSVP stragglers even a few days before the due date because I really need the headcount to do the next 50 things on my list.
Yikes, that’s scary. I wonder how many of our family members will forget/choose not to RSVP. Btw, what a waste of stamps!
Our hotel is also releasing our rooms about 1 month before the wedding. I listed the info on our website with the contact info for the hotel, so guests know ahead of time. I hope that they book before then, because we are already worried about guests not being able to find rooms due to an event in town the same weekend!
We are about a week from our deadline, have 35 back, and are waiting on 64 (RSVP cards, not people.) Most of them are my relatives (not known for sending the RSVP card back nor known for traveling - shame on me for getting married where we live not where I or even he grew up.)
But the ones that REALLY bug me are my cousin who got married a little over a month ago and my aunt and uncle. Yes, my cousin was on her honeymoon when the invites were mailed but she’s been back 2 weeks and I RSVPed for hers right away. You’d think she and my aunt would still be feeling the sting of those who didn’t RSVP to her wedding on time.
Worse still, I’ve always been really close with this uncle…or thought we were. My father had died when I was a kid and he was always really good to me. You’d think they’ve known about the wedding and the hotel block for more than 6 months, it’s out of town for them, they are immediate family, and nothing. Not even a reserved room at the hotel “yet.” You’d think as immediate family with plenty of warning there wouldn’t be anything to think about, it’d be an automatic yes.
And I still think that after so recently going through it themselves they’d be a little nicer about sending the card back quickly…
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Mrs. Sunbeam, San Francisco/Grove City, PA
Age and Occupation: 26, Grad Student & Office Manager
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, Motion Designer
Engagement Date: May 10, 2008
Wedding Date: September 2009
Venue: Harbison Chapel & The Maple Lane Farm
About Me: Mr. Sunbeam and I are high school sweethearts. We both come from a small town in PA but are growing to love the California lifestyle. He loves wine and I love cheese... the perfect combination! When I'm not drooling over wedding blogs, I'm attending grad school, out being a foodie, or attempting to "walk" our cat at the park. Two things guaranteed to excite me are wedding cakes and breaking out my suitcase to travel. Mr. Sunbeam and I are personalizing our hometown wedding to celebrate our high school sweetheart status and PA roots with a few CA touches. After ten years of dating we couldn't be more excited to call each other husband and wife!
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