Wedding Blog
For the past month and half I can honestly say I’ve spent a fair amount of time wishing for all the planning to just be over, and for us to be married. Which in retrospect, is a complete shame. Yes, planning has been stressful, but I won’t ever plan our wedding again, so wouldn’t it be better to remain present and enjoy this stage of our lives?
I always see a fair amount of talk regarding “staying present” in the moment on the actual wedding day. I’m beginning to feel that it’s just as important to remain present for your planning. Here we are, in an in-between stage of life, a stage filled with excitement, hope, and promises and for almost 60 days I’ve just been wishing it were over.
Which isn’t to say because I wanted our relationship to be over, it’s more of the, “OMG there is so much left to do!!!!!” feeling that gets me down. Which, in reality, stems from the fact that I put too many crazy projects on my plate and should have finished them a month ago. Yet, I still find myself adding more projects even though we’re coming into our final week.
Both my and Mr. D’s stress levels have reached an all-time high. The other day we were in the car and he turned to me and said the things I’d been thinking for quite a while.
“Is it bad to say that I just want to be married and for this whole thing to be over and done with?”
So, we agreed yesterday that although it was stressful, that we would really try to remain present in what we were doing and why it was important. To focus on this celebration of our union with our family and friends and not focus on how sick we are of cutting and sanding wine bottles (and our 7897345798 other tasks).
Have you found yourself wishing the planning process was over already?
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Oh.Yes. I can be really overwhelming and wishing to just be married is a natural way to regain perspective, I think.
Oh my gosh - this is EXACTLY how my fiance and I feel! And we then feel guilty for feeling that way. I am so glad it’s not just us!
STOP adding things to your list! Especially if they are DIY projects. For everything else, it’s time to start enlisting the help of family & friends. Stay calm, Miss D! You’re almost there!!
You took the words right out of my mouth!! I woke up this morning and told myself that I was going to relax, take a deep breath and try to enjoy this. I’ll never be a bride again and I need to be excited not so stressed out…. Good luck Miss D! As they say, it will all turn out the way you wanted and if it doesn’t you’ll still be married to your best friend 
We have 4 days to go!!! Whooo!! (Sorry, had to get that out.)
Yes, I definitely hear you, and just last week my HTB and I said those same words to each other. Now that it’s 4 days away and a lot of the projects are done, I can tell you that we’re just enjoying it now. I know it’s easier said than done, but truly just try to take it all in and enjoy it. It’s only (hopefully) going to happen once!!!!!
You are preachin to the choir with this one! I am so ready, and so over it but feel so guilty about it! I know I should be enjoying it, but I just want to be married already! Never mind have my house back so it no longer resembles the land of the crafters..
While we’ve enjoyed the process, we are just ready to be married. To just settle into a normal routine and to be an old married couple.
We are going to be glad for the wedding to be over with and for us to be married, but some small part of me will miss wedding planning. So, I’m really trying to enjoy the last month before we’re finally Mr. & Mrs.!
YES! I was saying that to my FI and my dad the other day, about how we should have eloped, and my dad said “Kelly, this is the wedding that, at some point, you decided you wanted. And you LOVED planning it. You’re out of the fun part now. Just remember back to the time when you were so excited to start putting teh details together and remember that on that day, tis about teh two of you.” That daddy, he has some insight I tell ya Its almost over for you Miss D! You’ll be so happy you did everything you id once it is said and done!
I’ve tried to enjoy just being engaged - even with the pressure of the to do list. In the grand scheme of things our dating relationship will be a small stretch of time and our engagement will be even shorter so I want to relish them before we move onward together to the next, lifelong (God willing!) stage of our lives. Thanks for bringing it up - I think it’s something important to be mindful of no matter what stage of planning each of us are at. (although i can’t imagine the pressure with a week to go - remember deep breaths always help! good luck!!!)
I definitely get it - and I’ve only been engaged for four months! Hang in there, take one day at a time (an hour at a time if that’s not enough)! You’ll make it and it’ll be a big, happy, excited weight off your chest soon!
Oh I’ve totally been feeling like this! But I really never enjoyed the planning in the first place - not really my thing It feels like we’re doing homework all the time!
My fiance and I feel the EXACT same way! We’re a month away, and we’re exhausted and ready to be on our honeymoon. I feel guilty, but at the same time, since we’ve had a long engagement (is 14 months considered long?) I’m ready to close the book on this chapter in our lives. What’s ahead is far more exciting, I think. We’re ready for it.
While I completely get where you are coming from with the planning I have felt the same way but more so just the waiting! We will have been engaged for a year and a half when we finally say the “I DOs”. I will have had my dress for a year, the invites sent a year prior, and its just the waiting game.
We planned our wedding with the guests more in mind I think than ourselves (destination wedding so we wanted to make sure everyone had enough time to plan around and save money) but we never thought about ourselves and how long we would be waiting for the big day after all the “i’s were dotted and t’s crossed” in the planning….I can not wait for November!!!
Oh my goodness, I have been feeling like this lately! I’m going to try and take your advice though and stay present in the planning. After all, I do love it! It’s just hard to remember sometimes when you’ve been planning your wedding for 20 months!
I could have written this post, especially now that we have the honeymoon booked I’m SO ready for the wedding to get here. But with 2 months to the day to go, I really need to start churning out all those projects…
I hear you on this! But I have to say it has more to do with the fact that I just want to be married! The planning has been fun and hard. Ups and Downs. But I don’t have a lot of DIY projects or things like that to stress me out. I just want to be married!!
Oh yeah! I’ve still got months, but I can already foresee myself getting to the ‘over it’ stage. I hope I can take the final week before the wedding off from all things planning related meaning I will get done with everything a week early (read: this is in lala land and will never EVER happen).
Hey D! I totally felt the same way…but then an opportunity for us to be in the paper came up and we had to spend an hour talking with a reporter about our love story….and it was SO GREAT to be forced to stop talking about to-do lists and craft projects and logistics and instead remember why and how we feel in love and the real meaning behind all the jobs. Maybe just carving out an hour a day or two before the wedding, going off by yourselves and just remembering the love will help. It worked wonders for us! Have a great time!!!
I am trying so hard to enjoy it, but (and I have 9 months to go!) I just want to be married and not have to save, and plan, and choose and craft and worry and stress anymore. I just want it to be June 6th 2010!!
Mr. M and I had this same exact conversation yesterday! 12 days left, and we decided we’re going to do our best to enjoy them!
Hang in there, girl!!!! It will get better, and you will have the bridal glow soon! (I agree with Quiche though, don’t add any more things to your list in the meantime!)
Oh, amen to that, Ms. D!
I was soo over the planning three months after we started “planning”!
Our big day is only a few weeks away and the stress has been overwhelming.
Like you, the mister and I also have been dealing with some immigration issues, and your posts have been so encouraging, so I thank you for that.
You’re in the homestretch, so I wish you all the best of luck, and I look forward to seeing those pomanders (which I will be copying from you), at your wedding!!!
Love, Pinaybride
Yes. Yes. Yes.
I have been wanting the planning to be a finished for a while now. At first I was pretty stressed. I didn’t know what to expect and I was constantly worrying about money. One day I was blessed and it took all my stress away. With only 12 days away, I am looking forward to being married and partying :)!
too many times to count. And then when it was over I missed it. It’s a strange relationship you and your wedding have (I mean, anyone and their wedding). Hope you enjoy every minute of the last bit of the details!
Get ready for the good stuff! Your day will be amazing. Take a break until then whenever you can.
Geeze I remember those days. Hang in there and keep your positive perspective. It’ll all be worth it!
Oh, honey can I just testify to this! I loved the planning process, but I was more than ready to get the wedding over with and the marriage to begin.
You’re not alone, but you will survive. . . and be married in the end (which is the most fabulous part)!
Oh yes! After months of planning we found ourselves so stressed out that we tossed our old plans in the garbage and started doing what we REALLY wanted to do. It was the best feeling in the world
Keeping the reason behind the planning firmly in sight the whole time and not losing perspective on why we were getting married really helped too. I’d think of how much I love this man and how happy I am to be marrying him and it was like an instant boost every time.
The only reason I’m semi-wishing it was over, is because my fiance and I are living in two separate states for 4 months while I finish my last semester of school. So if the planning was over that means all this awayness would be over too!! Other than that I’m completely enjoying myself =]
Girl..you have no idea…I feel like i’ve done so many projects already but then see something fun on here and keep adding. WHen will the madness stop?!?! Stop adding and start relaxing…congratulations and good luck!
Yup — I think that every. single. night. as we continue to plug away at the to-do list!
I 100% understand…we were in the same boat! You’re in the final stretch now - just a few more days and you’ll be married to the man of your dreams! Can’t wait to see it all come into fruition!
Stop wedding planning for a day or two and don’t allow yourself to do one single wedding task. Get a breath of fresh air, enjoy your Fiancee and then hop back in.
I take wedding planning vacations while I still have the time where I refuse to do anything wedding related. Thanks for reminding me that this time is limited and I need to have more fun with it!
It’s kinda like crack, you know you should stop being inspired to add things to your to-do list, but you keep coming back and reading and being inspired. Good luck, it’ll all work out.
I completely agree! My fiance and I have been engaged for over a year and still have a little less than 2 months to go. So many times we wished we were just married, which in many ways it feels like we already are. Then one of my coworkers got engaged over the weekend and we were talking about how she got engaged and how she didn’t know where to start with the wedding planning. It brought me back to the excitement we felt right after getting engaged an the wedding slate was blank. So now I feel much more appreciative of all the work we have done and that I won’t be doing this again, so I should enjoy it.
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Mrs. D'orsay, Baltimore/Lancaster UK
Age and Occupation: 24, Stay at home fiance (formerly in nonprofit communications)
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Web site developer and designer; co-owner of men's skincare shop
Engagement Date: August 10, 2008
Wedding Date: August, 2009
Venue: Oakland Manor
About Me: I'm a Maryland raised environmental policy wonk/activist/organizer and communications aficionado. In the past year I've lived in Baltimore, MD, Tucson, AZ, Miami, FL and Lancaster, England. In my not so spare time I enjoy planning trips with Mr. D' Orsay, visiting friends and family and crafting like a mo-fo. I also enjoy modern dance classes, rugby and soccer but have been banned by my mother, MOHs, and Mr. D' Orsay from playing till after the wedding. I have an unnatural addiction to cheese and shoes, but love Mr. D' Orsay more than either and can't wait to become Mrs. D' Orsay!
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