Wedding Blog
Things aren’t always as you predict. I’m just learning this now. I’m an optimistic person by nature, so when we sent out our 64 invitations to a total of 145 people, I figured our head count numbers would settle in somewhere between 90 and 100. That’s a low 62-68% of our guest list checking the “accepts with pleasure” box.
Just a reminder of where that lil’ stamped card goes
(source)
Take into account the fact that our wedding is a destination wedding for, oh, 99.9% of our guests.
I have one bridesmaid and her boyfriend who live within a two-hour drive of the wedding. Everyone else is either a seven-hour drive or a two- to three-hour flight away. That makes it a trek for practically all parties involved. Then, factor in the lovely economy and its oh-so-tough ways at the moment. Let’s just say money is not a-flowing.
Our deadline for our RSVPs is September 1st. Tuesday. As of now we have 21 yes cards totaling 40 rarin’-to-go guests. Yippeeeee! What about our “no” stack? 10 cards with a total of 24 guests “declining with regrets”. Of course, I also deducted “plus ones” from the “yes” stack for those who declined to indulge in such a treat. Similar to the lovely Ms. Stiletto, we gave all of our single guests the option of bringing someone and, also similar to Ms. Stiletto, many of our guests are opting out of bringing a companion.
That leaves us looking in the mailbox every day (quite eagerly, I might add) for the additional 33 RSVP cards. Out of those 33 cards, I can safely say there will be 18 more guests to add to our head count which puts us up around 60.
Knowing that we’ll most likely end up with a guest list that’s lower than our initial guesstimate is okay with me. Of course, I’d have been happy if all 145 guests had responded with their plane’s arrival time and hotel reservations–we wouldn’t have invited them if we didn’t want them to come–but somehow, a smaller guest list makes things feel a smidgen more manageable.
The upside–and this is going to sound odd–is that we have a food-and-beverage minimum. And, if we don’t think we’ll hit that minimum, we might be able to bring that margarita back into the picture.
[NOTE TO GUESTS: You are more important than the margarita. Please check yes and hand that card to your postman. Tomorrow.]
Did your guest list turn out like you planned? What percentage of your guests are you expecting?
|
Share this post: The Count, As It Stands Now
I know this sounds horrible, but I envy you. I cringed with every RSVP that I opened after we hit 200 people. I had to constantly remind myself that, like you said, we wouldn’t have invited them if we didn’t want them there, but when we invited 300 people, we expected around 200-225. We’re now at 275.
We’re having the same problem! We need at least 140 adults attending, or we’re paying for empty chairs! I hope it doesn’t come to that, but we’re still 10 months out, so it’s too early to tell..
I hope you get some “yes”s soon!
We’re getting married where FI and I currently live - both of our families are coming via either a 5 hour plane or 5 hour car ride. We haven’t had any big decline surprises with our RSVPs, thus far, and I’m thrilled that so much of my extended family is making the trek! I think we were expecting and getting a 75% RSVP rate. Of course I say ‘think’ as our RSVP date is Thursday…hurry up and send those RSVPs in! 
I had thought we would have a low “yes” response … but we are now about 37 over our estimated guest count. I have been surprised by the amount of yes’s we have received. I am very honored that we have so many loved ones that want to come celebrate
the invites went out 2 weeks ago and none of my family memebers have responded but yet all of his have! like hello.. please let me know if ur coming.. see that pretty responce card mail it BACK!
We’re planning on inviting 60-70 people, for a headcount of 50-60. My fiance didn’t understand that not everyone who we invite is going to come, and was confused that I wanted to invite more people.
It seems like the guests who get their RSVPs back on time are the ones who know for certain that they are definitely coming or definitely not able to come. The latecomers are the ones on the fence, trying to decide if they can afford the trip or if they can book the tickets. It’s amazing how many people wait until the RSVP deadline to fill out the card and put it in the mail, so hopefully, most of your remaining answers should be coming this week. It is frustrating on our end, though, when we put so much effort into making things as easy as possible on our guests by giving them all the information up-front (not to mention designing that beautiful invite!), and all we ask in return is a “yes” or “no.”
Wow you still have lots to hear from! We made phone calls for some, but for some people it was easier to assume they were a “no” and we saved ourselves the time.
We’re inviting 180 people and expecting 140-150.
We originally planned on inviting 125, the max our space allowed. However, we ended up inviting only 107. I thought accepts would be about 80. They were more like 75, and a couple of the accepts didn’t show the the day of.
They’ll trickle in… probably you’ll get most up to a week late, as happened with us. Then you really have to start tracking the others down!
Ooh I hope you hear soon! It’s so tough to get answers out of people, especially if it’s a destination wedding. We had a bunch of people decline at the last minute because they were trying to make it work, but just couldn’t. Good luck:)
Wos, that’s crazy. My RSVP deadline is the same as yours (tomorrow) and I think I’ve received maybe 12 of teh 55 invites I mailed out. Our venue also has a minumum, and I need to hit that 100 head mark or else my dad will be pi$$ed! Our wedding is also destination to all but a handful of guests, so maybe that’s why thinkgs are taking so long…
We invited 140 hoping for 100, and got 67. Eight members of my family attended. Because the caterer had priced everything based on 100, when we gave him the final count, we had to do some very stressful negotiating to agree on a price; we ultimately paid for 80 meals.
This was one of the reasons I really wanted save the dates, I just had no idea who would be able to come. For our wedding everyone (including us!) has to travel at least an hour and a half so it’s a pretty big guessing game.
we invited around 210 with the hope that we’d end up with 150 yes’, especially being that the wedding is on a Friday… apparently that is not standing in anyone’s way… we are at 160 with 15 more days to go until the RSVP date!
I am also having a wedding that requires MOST of my guests to travel. I sent invites out to 80 guests and have about a 45% decline rate :0(
I’ll try and get the pictures up online as soon as I can so all those who couldnt make it can see what they were missin!
curious, to those with lower-than-expected numbers: did you send out stds? did you receive different responses from the original reactions? that is, if people responded to the stds?
@ladybuglove: We did send out STDs. We sent them out about four to five months ago and for the most part, there were either no reactions or a definite “yes” response! Some of those enthusiastic acceptances have since turned into “I’m not sure” and their final answers have yet to arrive in our mailbox!
What this post is about happened to me exactly. I sent out invites to a total of 130 people, expected 80-85 and ended up with 61 including DH and I. We live in St Thomas so it’s really a destination for people.
But to meet our food minimum we got to add passed lamb chops and I’m sure more I can’t remember! But anyway 60 is a great amount of people, still a big party but small enough to really spend time with your guests, which is great.
Your wedding will be great!
This is exactly our dilemma…our rsvp deadline came and went last wednesday and we are still missing 20% of the responses. So far out of 150 invited, 105 are coming…and a lot of the remaining people I would call unlikely.
I sent out save the dates…but still, most people didn’t start thinking about it until the invite came.
I too have a minimum and am planning on adding a champagne toast, which was previously thought to be too much.
The good news is that less people means you can spend a bit more time with the ones there. At least that is what I tell myself…its hard not to be bummed when you get declines.
We have gotten in 90% of our rsvp’s and all of them have been a big YES!! We have invited a total of 186 people which is too much for me but most likely we will have about 150 people on our big day…and the only kids at the wedding are the ones that are in our wedding party which are our nieces, so no cry babies allowed!!!
thanks miss cowboy boot! we are sending out stds and i worry that everyone will be all, “oh! wouldn’t miss it for the world!” only to turn up mia when it’s crunch time.
Sixty is pretty good considering it’s a destination wedding, and you only invited 145! We were right about where we guessed we would be on the head count. And we also gave all our single guests plus ones.
Ah! Yes! Me! I invited 159, and anticipated somewhere around 120 people actually attending - turns out, we only have 102 attendees (THIS SATURDAY), which is a stinky 64% acceptance. I guess the hardest thing for me was getting over the declines that I was sure were going to come. In the beginning, I took it very personally and had several rough afternoons. I’ve bounced back, but there are still some people I am shocked will not be attending!
We’re hoping for 175 out of the 230 we invited to show up. If it gets much over that it’s gonna be crowded.
@Miss Cowboy Boot: Interesting to know! I wonder if that will happen to us as well.
We still have a few weeks before the our RSVP date. We will probably be about where I thought (invited 170, estimate 130-140 attendence) but I am finding more of my friends, who I thought would definitely come, and my extended family, who I thought wouldn’t make the trip (8 hour drive) are saying yes.
I hope that you get your wish with responses! I am in the same boat as you with the food/bev minimum…so I’m definitely going to look at it as a potential opportunity to pull out some extra stops on the food or drinks if not as many guests as I hope to attend send in their reply! Good idea!
| Visit our sister sites | Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Fertile Thoughts Infertility Support |
Mrs. Cowboy Boot, Santa Fe
Age and Occupation: 25, Magazine Editor
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Artist and Whitewater Rafting Guide
Engagement Date: April 28th, 2008
Wedding Date: October 2009
Venue: Devil's Thumb Ranch, Colorado
About Me: I grew up in Los Angeles and have since lived in San Diego, Boston, Italy, Hawaii, New York City, and Santa Fe. I speak Italian and love pasta. My real passion is the outdoors, though. When I'm not at work, I'm snowboarding, hiking with my two dogs, mountain biking, surfing, cross-country-skiing, or boating New Mexico's rivers. Despite my boyish love for adventure, I'm a girly-girl at heart and am overly-excited to pull off the romantic, vintage-inspired, country wedding of my dreams.
| Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
| 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |
| 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 |
| 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |
| 29 | 30 |
Latest Gallery Pics