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Mrs. Joey, Seattle Age and Occupation: 28, Project Administrator for Public Health NGO Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, High School History Teacher Engagement Date: June 24, 2008 Wedding Date: August 2009 Venue: Eastside Catholic Chapel and Lake Union Cafe About Me: I'm a Seattle girl through and through except for the fact that I don't drink coffee. I love my job most of the time because I get to travel and work with brilliant people who are trying to prevent Malaria. I love DIY projects of all sorts, cooking, and watching sports. I'd wear anything at Anthropologie and could spend all day on Etsy. I love to travel but shouldn't because I always get myself into unbelievable situations!
About Mrs. Joey

Before I start the other posts I promised, I wanted to get one thing off my chest - my two wedding day heartbreaking moments. I feel like I need to get these out of the way (and the “week before the wedding” post) in order to really share happy memories of our wedding day.

Heartbreaker #1

The first dance. While we were taking pictures after the ceremony and before the reception, our piano player and Mr. Joey’s bandmate, Paul, called us and let us know there was a problem with our mics. One was broken. We needed 2 mics, one for the singer and one for the guitar player. Paul said he’d call around and see if he could locate a mic near the reception venue. I was a little freaked out, but Mr. Joey said the boys would figure it out.

When we arrived at the reception, the guys said they figured it out. They would position it so the singer and guitar player could share mics. They tested it and said it sounded fine. I was relieved. I was really excited for the first dance. We found the perfect song and the guys were going to play it for us. Both Mr. Joey and I worked with all the guys in the band. Josh, the lead singer, was the first person I told when Mr. Joey and I were thinking of becoming a couple. It all made for a sweet, coming full circle-type moment.

We walked out onto the dance floor and the music started to play. It all seemed perfect until Josh began to sing. The second mic had a problem and turned his lovely voice into a frog’s voice. At first it was kind of funny. I could see Larry, the guitar player, trying not to laugh, but when I thought about the dance the next day, it made me really sad. I’m not sure anyone was able to pay attention to any of the words, and I hope no one thinks that that is what Josh really sounds like. Mr. Joey blames himself for not bringing extra mics, but how could we have known? The first dance was a minor heartbreak after the fact.

Heartbreaker #2

Heartbreaker #2 was something I noticed immediately. It’s a two-part heartbreak, which makes it even worse. Part 1? 10 people who RSVPed did not show up to the reception. Yes, TEN. 4 of them were relatives of mine who apparently are in some sort of argument with other relatives of mine. So those 4, an aunt and her adult kids, decided not to show up. My mom was really hurt by it. She hand-delivered their invitations because she really wanted them to come. They RSVPed in person to her, and she was really excited. They sent a gift, but it seemed bittersweet when I noticed they mailed it on our wedding day. So, it wasn’t like they forgot about the wedding, they just decided not to come.

Four of the other non-attenders were people who were part of a family or couple who RSVPed but then decided they wouldn’t join their significant other or family. That was lame, especially since 2 of them were guests of friends who begged to bring an extra quest. The last 2 people are mysteries. They were each coming from California and neither let us know they weren’t coming. They had to have known days before that they weren’t coming, right? We’re hoping there wasn’t any kind of emergency that prevented them from coming.

So, the heartbreaking part isn’t that we spent over $800 on 10 guests who didn’t show. It isn’t that we didn’t get presents. It’s that as I ate my meal, I looked across the dance floor from our sweetheart table and saw a table for 10 with only 4 people at the table. Behind that sad table was an empty booth for 4. It wasn’t entirely the fault of the 10 missing people, as other guests contributed to the empty tables, too. Here’s the second part of the heartbreak: quite a few attending guests dismissed the seating charts and sat elsewhere. It’s like they didn’t trust my judgment. I worked hard at those tables. I made sure everyone had someone to talk to about something they had in common. Even Mr. Joey agreed that they were great tables that never happened.

The other thing that kills me is that we could have easily filled those spots with people who would have wanted to be there. I had friends who only came to the after party because we didn’t have room at the reception. They could have attended both.

I felt awful about the empty tables. The 4 people at that table looked sad and alarmed. It was like I alienated them from everyone else. I noticed that the 4 people at the table for 10 left early and I can’t say I blame them. They tried to mingle for a while but with all the other tables past capacity, there was nowhere to sit besides at their empty table. My boss was 1 of the 4 people, and every time I see her, I feel a little guilty even though it wasn’t my fault.

I’m getting over the first dance thing, though I can think of a few ways we could have avoided the situation. The guests not coming or moving to other tables takes a little time. I’ve made peace with a few of the non-attenders, like my architect. I see him once a week and talk to him about 3 times a week. We would not be able to work on the Joey house together if there was conflict between us. I also forgave my Mom’s friend who didn’t bring his date and then skipped to another table. He’s helped me a lot in the past and I know he didn’t do it intentionally. He probably thought this was the typical Filipino wedding where RSVPs and numbers don’t matter because you always have enough food and space for an army. He probably thought people would bring friends who weren’t on the guest list, so not bringing his date would even numbers out.

I’m hoping for closure and that this post and few emails to the non-attending out-of-town RSVPers does the trick. Did anyone else have any wedding day heartbreakers?

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45 Responses to “Love in Grey and Yellow: Wedding Day Heartbreakers”

1.
krissycake
Member
krissycake (message)  2,092 posts, Buzzing bee

Aww, Mrs. Joey, those definitely are heartbreakers. I can only imagine being bummed about those things when you’re trying to make sure that everyone is enjoying themselves.

In that vein, how did the rest of the table assignments work out? I know you worked hard on them!

 
2.
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Guest
MplsChica

I think its great to just blurt out the things that bummed us out…they’re out there, acknowledge and we can move on to the happier memories.

Here’s mine…from the get-go I wanted Edelweiss to be the song for my dance with my Dad. I listened to it over and over and just LOVED it. When I asked my Dad what he thought, he was game even though I’m pretty sure he never would have thought of it himself. But he knew I liked it, so Edelweiss it was. So we get on the dance floor and I was HORRIFIED when the DJ played a SUPER LAME elevator-style, random instrumental/synthesizer version of the song! ACCCK. To this day it bugs me. A lot. But I’m getting over it…though it kills me that I could have avoided the situation if I had been more explict in saying “the version from the movie” to our DJ.

Ah, well. It was so lame it was almost funny…ha!

 
3.
LatteLove
Hostess
LatteLove (message)  4,120 posts, Honey bee

Thanks for honestly sharing these wedding day disappointments. we all have them and it’s nice to hear you get it off your chest–I would need to too! I noticed several similar things at my wedding reception but we too caught up to feel terrible, but a few days after the wedding, it was really disappointing. It’s nice to hear I’m not alone.

 
4.
nvybaby82
Member
nvybaby82 (message)  309 posts, Helper bee

awww… hugs for you Mrs. Joey! I feel your pain! We had 9 no-show for our wedding with no explaination after they’d sent in a ‘yes’ RSVP. This was really noticeable since we only had 50 people that were supposed to be there… :-(

 
5.
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Sunshyn142 (message)  3 posts, Wannabee

Mrs. Joey, I know your wedding was beautiful. Lan said your wedding was amazing and was impressed with all the details you put into it. I told her I was excited to see your recaps!

My wedding was last weekend and 8 people didn’t show up and it sucked; but I later found out one couple’s car broke down in Bremerton and they didn’t have enough time. The rest I don’t care anymore, what’s done is done. We had fun with those that did make it : )

Yes, my cake was lopsided but the cake itself and the sugar-paste flower were beautiful. Yes, my DJ did not know how to mix music and sometimes the music would stop all together, but he found the perfect song for my father-daughter dance. It’s all about the big picture . . . I married my best friend surrounded by all our loved ones and had a kick ass time!

 
6.
TravelBug
Member
TravelBug (message)  64 posts, Worker bee

Oh how horrible on the no-shows! I’m so sorry that happened to you… I just don’t understand how people can do that. I’d feel terrible.

 
7.
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Bee
Miss Beagle (message)  1,053 posts, Bumble bee

**Hugs** thanks for being so honest that things DO go wrong at a wedding. I can’t wait for all the good stuff that is soon to come!

 
8.
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sweetkate (message)  177 posts, Blushing bee

Aw Mrs. Joey I’m so sorry you had these disappointments. I had some too. The night before my wedding I found out that both of my dad’s brothers would not be coming to my wedding. My dad passed away almost 3 years ago and that was the last time I saw them so I was really looking forward to seeing them. There was only one person at my wedding from my dad’s side of the family and it was a cousin I hadn’t seen since I was 3 years old. I didn’t remember what he looked like but when he walked up to me after the wedding I almost burst into happy tears because he looked just like my dad and my uncles. We had a somewhat small wedding, but what really disappoints me is that out of the 40 people I invited from my side of the family only 16 came. I’m still a little sad thinking about it but then I just think about the people who were there really wanted to be there and made every effort to be with us on that special day.

Oh and we had an ipod wedding where the wrong playlist was played during the reception but we didn’t notice until almost 2 hours into it. =) oops.

 
9.
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backyardwed (message)  62 posts, Worker bee

oh mrs. joey… those would be heartbreakers for me too. there are several things that could go wrong on the wedding day that im sure i will be able to just brush off, but it’ll be hard for me to get over having no-shows at my wedding too.

 
10.
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kusinera (message)  37 posts, Newbee

Oh Mrs. Joey — I totally feel you. When are we going to get our Filipino community to stop expecting (in your excellent words!) the “typical Filipino wedding where RSVPs and numbers don’t matter because you always have enough food and space for an army”.

We have a guestlist of 400 and we are 10 days from our RSVP deadline with more than half of our guests not yet replying. I had to prioritize relatives (some I barely know or have never even met — grrrrr!) so that left a sizeable alternate list of close friends. Because so many of my relatives have yet to RSVP, I’ve had to hold off on the B-list and we’re only six weeks away and I don’t think I’ll be able to extend invites to them without it being so obvious that they were B-list.

And I know those who haven’t relied are thinking something along the lines of what you said — “Oh, I’m a relative, so they know I’m coming, they’ll have a seat for me” or “They’ll have enough room and food even if I don’t RSVP, so it doens’t matter whether or not I come” or some other variation.

The capacity of the room is 400 exactly and I have to give the caterer (Filipinos, but very professional ones who want a headcount!) a headcount two weeks before. And then I had one of my mother’s first cousins (who none of us has met at all — my mom met him in 1967 and he immigrated to the East Coast in the 70s without ever meeting us out here in CA) RSVP for 12 — his whole family!!! That also blew away my B-list.

When will our community realize that because of space and budget, we can no longer accommodate the village and more? While I would love to do that — honestly — it’s just not realistic to expect that of one another, especially given the recession and the enormous financial burden we and our families bear when they throw these celebrations. I’m an academic who studies and respects our Filipino and Filipino American culture, and I firmly believe we have to stop excusing bad manners as cultural. It’s just bad manners, period. I wish more folks in our community would call each other out on this.

I’m sending an email out to relatives to remind them gently to RSVP so that they have a place to sit. Hopefully this works.

 
11.
heather25
Member
heather25 (message)  478 posts, Helper bee

Oh snap Mrs. Joey. It sounds as though you are reaching out to those who didn’t bother to show up. If this is the case, please let us know how it goes. I get so mad when I see guests not show up and even madder when I see the couple doesn’t do followup. Best believe that I will be on the phone with anyone that doesn’t come after RSVPing. Hell NO! I am sorry it put a damper on your day.

 
12.
MexicanGirl
Member
MexicanGirl (message)  644 posts, Busy bee

i had a big heartbreak: the day before the wedding the church, the reception place & the caterer canceled on us, because the A H1N1 virus and our government’s restrictions about large crowds. I almost die.
So we begged (and paid, of course) our caterer to provide us food, linens, tables, chairs (but we had no waiters service), so our friends set up everything on my dad’s little ranch. And we made calls to let know our guests about the change of plans, and at the end of the day, everything was solved.
We had a beautiful ceremony under a simple and rustic wood ‘tent’ surrounded by the love of our families and friends, and nothing else really mattered.

 
13.
jmc
Member
jmc (message)  476 posts, Helper bee

Wow, I am glad you posted this, because as I was reading the part about the no-shows, I was feeling all mad on your behalf! I realized that these things may happen to me, too, and I am going to have to work on not letting my temper get the better of me!

I’m sorry this happened but I can’t wait to hear about all the beautiful parts of the day… and to see your awesome dress!

 
14.
mkat88
Member
mkat88 (message)  154 posts, Blushing bee

I think that it is impossible to have a perfect day. Those two things stink but you seem to have had a wonderful day anyway. My bummer was that my hubby’s grandmother was coming with his cousin. We aren’t close to the cousin at all and they didn’t really care about our wedding. The cousin’s wife was almost an hour late getting ready so his grandmother missed all of our family pictures. We got a few pictures of her later but since she got there after it started there aren’t any group shots! Boy I was angry about it but I decided that I just had to realize that we were lucky to have his grandmother there (she’s 90)!

 
15.
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Katie

Thanks for posting this, and I’m sorry it happened to you. I had almost the exact same thing happen at my wedding in terms of no-shows and people switching tables. We ended up with one table of 4 as well. It’s been a few months, and I still feel a little bad about it. We found out later that 3 of the people had come down with the flu a few days before the wedding, but they were close friends of my Mom, and you’d think they could have called! The rest were all “+1’s” that the guests decided not to bring.

I’m glad you mentioned this up front, so that you can move on to the happier parts (of which there are many, I’m sure)!

 
16.
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Mrs. Joey (message)  829 posts, Busy bee

@Sunshyn142: Thanks. I’m glad Lan liked the wedding :)

@nvybaby82: That’s awful! I hope you were able to enjoy your wedding with all the loved ones who did show.

@kusinera: I totally agree. I don’t how you change the way a culture looks at weddings. My Mom did say that she should have listened to me and let us have a small wedding of 50-60 people. Maybe that’s how it happens. One person goes through a “new style” wedding and spreads the word to others.

@heather25: I eneded up emailing our 2 out-of-town no shows and found out one had a family medical emergency. She kept meaning to let us know but time got away from her.

 
17.
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yello (message)  26 posts, Newbee

like you Mrs. Joey, I am pretty upset about a guest (who RSVPed late, whom I hadn’t seen in years, and who drank all of our alcohol and was so loud that guests behind her could not hear a thing from the program) who jumped tables even when she was told she shouldn’t and pushed out two of my closest friends from the table that was MADE for them. i felt so bad when I was toasting and found the close friends at the “extra” table where there were only 4 people (and the table was made for 10). because of this one guest who jumped tables, she cost me an extra unnecessary $500, but that really didn’t bother me as much as the fact that it potentially ruined my two close friend’s night having been split from the “party table”.

like you, my first dance and father daughter dance was also also ruined by technical difficulties and it really broke my heart because those were the two things that i was most looking forward to (other than getting married of course!).

while i sulked in the moment, when i look back at pictures and see that people did have a good time, it makes it all worth it in the end.

 
18.
Jessie516
Hostess
Jessie516 (message)  4,039 posts, Honey bee

Mrs. Joey, I would have been so bummed out if people who had RSVPd yes didn’t show up for the wedding! I know we spent so long on our guest list and seating arrangements that it would have really disappointing if that had happened.

 
19.
tea
Member
tea (message)  2,659 posts, Sugar bee

oh mrs. joey! i’m sorry for the missing guests. that happened at my bestie’s wedding as well [almost an entire table's worth!]. i wish there were some way to avoid that. but i hope you’ll find the closure you’re seeking!

 
20.
Mrs. Gloss
Bee
Mrs. Gloss (message)  1,057 posts, Bumble bee

We had a family of no-shows as well (4) which left one table with only 3 people, I felt TERRIBLE for them sitting all alone - but here’s the kicker, the Dad actually showed up earlier (like to watch the boat leave and talk to people in jeans and a t-shirt, clearly not dressed for a wedding). Um, if you are around and not doing anything why not just put on some nicer clothes and come??
We also had two guests leave after the ceremony and not come to the reception.
All of them knew plenty of other guests at the wedding, it just leaves me with the idea that our free food and alcohol wasn’t good enough for them-

 
21.
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lkbphmd (message)  186 posts, Blushing bee

Mrs. Joey~ I am so sad that squabbling relatives couldn’t set their feelings aside for the day. Often I wish that people in these situations would take a step back and look at who their decisions are really affecting. On this day, their decision to stay home affected you- and not those they are disagreeing with- which seems so unfair. I’m fortunate to know my dad’s siblings have been in a silly disagreement for so many years to know who will and will not attend my wedding. Just wish the situation would have worked better for you.

 
22.
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Miss Moonbeam (message)  1,335 posts, Bumble bee

The guests are a tough one, but just remember all the awesome people who showed up and shared the love. As for the song, nothing is perfect at weddings, especially AV, I’m sure it didn’t mar anyone’s memories of the day.

 
23.
AmberWaves
Member
AmberWaves (message)  227 posts, Helper bee

Awww Joey, I feel for you. I just attended a wedding a couple of weeks ago so I have a guests point of view. We got stuck at a table with some of the bride’s friends but there were only 7 of us at this huge table. We didn’t sit close enough to the other people so we didn’t have any conversations with them except introductions. It gave me a weird feeling to look around and see everyone else happily enjoying themselves at full tables. That being said, we did stick around for the whole reception and had a fabulous time. But I could see why your guests would leave or feel weird. What you have to remember is it is no fault of yours. These things happen. :)

 
24.
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e2r2z

I feel you on the guests who RSVP’d that didn’t come. We had a Feb wedding in MN and we had around people who RSVP’d now show up at our wedding. Of course, half of them were friends of an uncle and were a big point of contention since we wanted to have only close family and friends and didn’t even allow our parents to invite their own friends. The weather was pretty cold and the uncle and aunt, their friends and one of their daughters and her whole family didn’t end up coming. After the wedding they sent gifts and a letter apologizing. Needless to say it was expensive (well over $1000) for us to have this happen and for a while it made me upset thinking of how we could could have spent that extra $$$, but in the end, it doesn’t matter who didn’t come, it only matters who did. Those who were there to celebrate with us braved the cold and the snowstorm the day before and we felt loved and everyone had a great time. Those who didn’t come missed out on a great party. We knew we were risking having this happen by having a winter wedding, but we wanted a quick engagement and would have never been able to do that if we waited for the spring or summer when everything is booked out at least a year. For those brides who haven’t had their big day and are worried about seeing almost empty tables…my advice is to not do seating arrangements. We didn’t and with so many people unable to come, it helped that people just kind of spread out and there ended up being only a couple open spaces at each of tables.

 
25.
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e2r2z

oops - we had around 15 people RSVP and not show up.

 
26.
Lillindy
Hostess
Lillindy (message)  4,275 posts, Honey bee

I’m so sorry that happened to you Mrs. Joey. I can totally relate, too, because we also had 10 no shows. :( Shoot and one was the only vegetarian at the whole wedding and the coordinator was all stressed about her plate and looking for her and it took forever for her to realize that she was a no show.

 
27.
naangel55
Hostess
naangel55 (message)  1,584 posts, Bumble bee

Im so sorry that happened! Have you talked to your family that hasnt shown up? Thats terrible.
I had a weddng heartbreak - there was a song I have wanted to walk down the aisle to for about 2-3 years, “Storybook Love” which is the theme song to The Princess Bride. I discussed it with the DJ who said he knew the song. When I walked into the ceremony I realized he was playing the wrong song. I told my dad and he said he would tell the DJ but it was too late. It was still a pretty song but not the song I dreamed about walking down the aisle to. I later found out that the DJ downloaded it off iTunes, which was a combo of the song I wanted and another song that was in the movie. The worst part was he said something about it after, pretty much blaming me that we didnt talk about where to cue it up. There was no cueing up, he just played the wrong song!

 
28.
NixLapi
Member
NixLapi (message)  406 posts, Helper bee

That is such a shame about the no-shows… people are just clueless sometimes about the cost and effort that goes into a wedding. But the ones who begged to come and then didn’t show - beyond rude! I hope those specific people aren’t ones you have to see often in your daily life… it’s not worth holding a grudge over, but if I were in your shoes I’d be hard pressed not to say something not-so-nice to them. Wow!

 
29.
melodicsighs1
Member
melodicsighs1 (message)  804 posts, Busy bee

Oh man, I am so sorry, Mrs. Joey. I think you’ll be able to look back on the first dance mishap and laugh about it in the future. I mean, it sure made it memorable, right? But, as for the guests who didn’t show - that’s awful. I definitely understand the wish that you could have filled those seats with other people you cared about, and I’m so so sorry your family members and friends seemed clueless to the weight not showing really had.

 
30.
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S

We had 20 — yes, TWO ZERO — guests that RSVPed yes and didn’t show. (Leaving us with just over 80 guests instead of the expected 100+). They were all members of my husband’s extended family…they’re Hispanic and have the same kind of thought process that you mention for Filipinos about weddings.

The main impact was 2 completely empty tables in the middle of the room. I wish I’d known ahead of time only so we could have removed those tables and had more space for dancing.

But thankfully we didn’t waste any money because our venue’s package included up to 100 guests. If anything, we saved a bit by not going over 100.

It makes me laugh to think about it, actually. We suspected that some number of his family wouldn’t actually show up, despite the RSVP, but 20 was a lot!!

 
31.
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phruphru (message)  180 posts, Blushing bee

Ack, Miss Joey, I’d be so upset, too. But I’m a total sensitive sally and although my wedding was THE BEST DAY EVER, I still have nagging thoughts/pangs of guilt, etc. about some of the things that went down. Some of them are really stupid — I wish I had sprung for nicer chairs (not that anyone would have noticed). Others are more important: I wish my mom didn’t have to do so much prep work on the morning of the wedding. Anyway, time makes things better and one day, you’ll have a really funny story to tell your kids about your funny, messed-up first dance. As for the no-shows, who knows. People suck sometimes.

P.S. I absolutely love your honesty and I think I’m going to love your recaps. I really like when Bees keep it real when they talk about their weddings.

 
32.
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Mrs. Quiche (message)  2,186 posts, Buzzing bee

So sorry to hear it, Joey! I hope that venting and getting it out there can help bring you some peace. I don’t want you feeling sad!

@MexicanGirl: Oh my goodness! What a way to stay positive…you experienced the mother-load of things that could go wrong for your wedding! I am so glad it ended up working out at your fathers ranch :)

 
33.
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phruphru (message)  180 posts, Blushing bee

Oh and I echo Miss Quiche @MexicanGirl: That is le crazy!! I can’t believe you had to deal with that! But way to stay positive.

 
34.
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maureen

at least you didn’t shoot one of your guests with a firework :)

 
35.
MexicanGirl
Member
MexicanGirl (message)  644 posts, Busy bee

@Mrs. Quiche and @phruphru: thanks girls!! i think i had a mini heart attack when i realized what was happening. But i didn’t cry or anything (i still don’t get where i found the strength!), so we just decided to act fast and happily we had hordes of friends and family supporting and helping us; for that i’ll be forever grateful :D

 
36.
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gigi

It’s nice to hear someone call it heartbreak - I thought I was just mad…but you called it like it is.

We had some no shows (10)- one of the hardest things is that we had a REALLY small wedding for our family and we didn’t invite people we would have loved to have been there - so when the people didn’t show up (one couple that my father BEGGED me to invite) I was mad.

Its so strange how no one said anything, though. Like we wouldn’t notice they weren’t there.

 
37.
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ms boardwalk (message)  349 posts, Helper bee

i am afraid that this very same thing will happen to me. *hugs*

 
38.
eileen marie
Member
eileen marie (message)  375 posts, Helper bee

Ugh same thing! Our band had a malfunction, & our photog f-ed up, so we were running behind w/ photos (totally unnecessary), so we couldn’t practice our first dance. It was still nice, but we blew the dip, and EVERYONE photographed it. Plus, we had 5 people who just blew off the wedding-not a one sent a gift, but the kicker is they cost us over $1000, not including the extra table, linens, etc. that we had to rent to accommodate their rude asses. (3 of them were my bosses who I have to see everyday.) I didn’t even really want to invite at least 4 of the 5 that blew it off (w/o so much as a phone call or apology before or afterward), & we made heavy cuts to include them. People are SO ignorant. I was very hurt, & my co-worker knew no one-she was slated to sit w/ my bosses, so yeah she left early, too, & was stuck sitting with older clergy the whole night at a half empty table. Nice. I’m so sorry Joey, but let this be the last time you mention it & then move on–that’s exactly what I am doing. It’s good for your soul. Plus the rest of our weddings were so fab, these snafus are just a drop in ocean.

 
39.
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Megs08

Thank you for your honesty, Mrs. Joey!

We had some major family issues with my oldest sibling (my MOH) the week of my wedding. My 3 other siblings were really stressed out and it showed despite their best efforts to hide the stress. We had a lovely day but I do sometimes feel guilt associated with the fact that I was not very relaxed for the reception. We had a few minor issues, nothing major but because of the stress we had gone through earlier in the week I sweated the small stuff, even though I tried to mask it. We did have a slacker DOC and for some reasons a few guests thought that making snide comments about her to me at the reception would make me feel better. Needless to say it didn’t and I asked them nicely to please refrain from making comments. I felt like I had dropped the ball and was embarrased that I had hired someone so incompitent. Looking back I realize that my husband and I were under a lot of stress outside of wedding planning and I am not perfect… I did not go with my gut and I picked a bad vendor. I can laugh about it now.

 
40.
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Miss Mouse (message)  3,354 posts, Sugar bee

While your heartbreaks suck, I really hope you can get past it and remember all of the amazing things that happened on your wedding day. I’m sure eventually the good memories will completely drown out the bad to where you don’t even remember the bad.

 
41.
pinaybride
Member
pinaybride (message)  71 posts, Worker bee

aww, Mrs. Joey, I know how you feel.

I’m Filipino as well, and I still get nightmares about my side of the family inviting people I don’t even know.

Our guest list has been whittled down as it is, and somehow, there are still family members that think it’s ok to RSVP the last minute, and invite friends of friends…which is pretty annoying.

Anyway, I just saw your teasers today and I can’t wait for the happy side of your big day!

 
42.
KatieBug3017
Member
KatieBug3017 (message)  1,434 posts, Bumble bee

I’m really glad you decided to share this with us; I think it is good to face the reality that weddings aren’t going to be 100% perfect. I am so sorry that there were a few snafus…but I can’t wait to hear about all the wonderful aspects of your day!!!

 
43.
Jenniphyr
Member
Jenniphyr (message)  1,397 posts, Bumble bee

Ugh, that sucks. *HUG* I hope you do find that closure and are able to remember your wedding day as wonderful. =)

 
44.
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Guest
Love in Grey and Yellow : The First Dance - Weddingbee - The Wedding Blog

[...] to be just as happy as we were. Even though the song didn’t turn out the way we planned (see my wedding heartbreaks for more info), I loved that the guys in Mr. Joey’s band played it. They were there when we met, [...]

 
45.
Member Icon
Member
bethxness (message)  27 posts, Newbee

this makes my heart ache for you :( i coordinated a wedding this weekend where a couple who attended the ceremony (at the last minute) found out they could and wanted to stay for the reception… so we called the hotel, had seats set aside for them, adjusted the numbers… and then we found out at the reception that 1) a few people didn’t come for illness or unknown reasons and 2) the couple that asked to stay had to leave early and ended up not getting to eat at all. sad sad sad!

 


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Mrs. Joey
Mrs. Joey Mrs. Joey, Seattle Age and Occupation: 28, Project Administrator for Public Health NGO Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, High School History Teacher Engagement Date: June 24, 2008 Wedding Date: August 2009 Venue: Eastside Catholic Chapel and Lake Union Cafe About Me: I'm a Seattle girl through and through except for the fact that I don't drink coffee. I love my job most of the time because I get to travel and work with brilliant people who are trying to prevent Malaria. I love DIY projects of all sorts, cooking, and watching sports. I'd wear anything at Anthropologie and could spend all day on Etsy. I love to travel but shouldn't because I always get myself into unbelievable situations!
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